Title: The Rufus Shinra Alarm Clock
Summary: For only 100 gil a day, you too can acquire his services!
Notes: The idea came along from someone I cherish as she stayed the night with me last night. She had not seen Advent Children and so we watched it before going to bed. She fangirled hard over Rufus and this came from it. I've never written a Final Fantasy VII fic, so I feel nervous about this, even though it's supposed to be just humor.
Rufus Shinra yawned as his alarm clock went off, announcing the beginning of a new project he had undertaken. Actually, it had been Reno that had given him the idea. Why he listened to the redheaded Turk was beyond him, but his new clients were an eager bunch. And all the proceeds were going into his funds to help the WRO.
He dressed slowly in a crisp white suit, checking the time as he did. He was to meet with his first client in twenty minutes. That gave him time enough for coffee at least.
He drank his coffee quickly, then left the glass in the sink. He would wash it out later. Before leaving, he grabbed a black box and tucked it under his arm. He was nervous, but somewhat excited. Not to mention his new clients had paid in advance. He could not let them down, now could he?
There were, of course, precautions to take. He would be followed at a slight distance by Tseng, the leader of the Turks and the one Rufus trusted the most. Tseng most likely would not be required, but he would be on hand just in case the new clients Rufus had taken on got a little out of hand.
As Rufus left his new home and started down the road, it appeared that Tseng's skills might be needed after all. Waiting underneath a streetlight was Kadaj, leader of a small gang and quite the annoyance for Rufus and his Turks.
"I knew you had Mother!" Kadaj shouted, pointing at the box under Rufus's arm.
Rufus looked down at the box as though he had never seen it. "So I do," he said, before walking past Kadaj.
"Give her to me!"
"No."
"Can I hold her, just for a second?"
"No."
"One peek?"
"No."
"A sniff?"
That stopped Rufus in his tracks. He turned to stare at the silver-haired young man, mouth slightly open. He regained his composure, tightened his grip on the box, and said "No!" before resuming his walk.
The sun was beginning to rise. Rufus quickened his steps. Kadaj followed suit. "Just where are you going with Mother?" Kadaj demanded of him.
Rufus answered by stopping in front of a two story house. It was a lovely house, white with black trim. All the windows were dark, with an exception of a small light in what Rufus assumed was the living room. He stepped closer to the house, careful not to step on the lawn. Kadaj watched with confusion as Rufus grabbed the black box and heaved it through the double windows on the left side of the house.
"Mother!" Kadaj cried, rooted to the spot with shock, anguish, and anger. "How dare you throw Mo – "
He was rendered speechless by a young woman poking her head out from the busted window. Her blonde hair was messy, but her eyes were bright. They could see a glimpse of her hot pink sleep top, one of the straps sliding down her arm as she begun to wave at Rufus.
"Thanks, Rufus!" she called. "Same time tomorrow?" she added with a wink.
"Of course," he called back. "Now, may I have JENOVA back, please? I need to wake the Robinson girl in eight minutes."
"Just a sec!"
As the young woman's head disappeared from the window, Kadaj rounded on Rufus. "You're using Mother as – as an – as a – "
" – as an alarm service," Rufus finished for him. "Yes, it's worked quite well. Several young women have signed up to be awoken by me, and JENOVA does her purpose as well."
Kadaj's eye began to twitch. "You wait until I tell Loz and Yazoo!" he shouted. "We'll get her back from you, that's a promise!"
Rufus watched him stomp off, chuckling to himself. The things he did for the planet nowadays wound up being so much fun.