My first attempt at writing, so please don't hate me. Ianto Jones. Jack Harkness.
The Truth Behind Your Eyes
Summary: Ianto Jones dies in Jack's arms.
'A thousand years time, you won't remember me'. I will be like a dream, a fleeting moment, being slowly erased, fading, fading over time. Until there is nothing left, not even a memory. 'Ianto!' His voice follows me into the dark.
Rating: T overall, this chapter: PG 13 for angst, angst, and more angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own Ianto or Jack. Wish I did though.
Dedicated to Gunapi The Sunrose (she knows who she is), fellow Whovian and friend.
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Cold; So cold. I feel it creeping up my legs, my arms. I can't feel my hands, only Jack's, holding me. He pulls me to him. His hands hold me to him. I try and reach out, to touch his face, tell him . . . tell him . . . I don't know what. I can't think; the cold has reached my chest, spread through my shoulders, crept down my spine.
'It's all my fault'. A whisper. As though he's afraid of the words.
'No, it's not', I can't even shake my head, can't reach out to touch him, can't comfort him. The cold stretches up my neck, down my throat, as though to steal the breath in my lungs.
His hand on my cheek. 'Don't speak', he whispers. The cold reaches my eyes, turning the edges of my world black as night, black as pitch, I only light remaining seems to come from his face, a lantern in the dark. I can only feel his fingers now, stroking my jaw.
'Shhh', he says, 'save your breath'. Almost as though he can feel the same thing as me, feel the darkness, the cold, spreading, blinding, and stealing me from the light. Then I realise he can. He can, he's breathed the air, yet still he holds me.
'I love you Jack'. I want to scream it, to run from the dark, the cold, run with him, into the warmth of the light. The dark covers my eyes, like a blindfold, I can't see his face anymore; it leaves me alone in the dark.
His voice is stronger now. 'Don't'. Almost a command. Only Jack bloody Harkness could issue an order like that now.
Don't? Don't what? Don't love him? Bit late for that now, sir, I want to say, but the cold has stolen my breath, frozen my lungs. I want to yell at him, to push his hand away. But I can't move, can't scream, the breath I take catching in my throat, turning the scream into a sob. I close my eyes.
'Ianto? Ianto! Ianto, stay with me. Ianto, stay with me, please! Stay with me, stay with me! Please!' he's almost crying now, begging. I never thought I'd hear him beg.
I can feel his hand on my face, a lifeline thrown to me in the dark, keeping the cold at bay, letting me stay with him for a few precious moments. I open my eyes, searching for his face in the dark, trying to smile, but even blinded I can tell it would look more like a grimace.
'Hey, it was good . . . yeah?' I say. The cold has drawn back from my eyes enough that I can see his face again. Whoever has that death isn't kind, it has allowed me this much. His eyes are clouded with unshed tears.
'Yeah', he says, trying to smile too, his breath leaving him in a shudder.
'Don't forget me', I whisper. Don't leave me. I want to say. Don't let me go.
His tears are falling freely now, running down his face in rivulets. I never thought I see him cry. At least not for me. 'Never could', he says, trying to reassure me.
But, I know the truth. 'A thousand years time, you won't remember me'. I will be like a dream, a fleeting moment, being slowly erased, fading, fading over time. Until there is nothing left, not even a memory. I love you, Jack Harkness. I love you! It repeats over and over in my mind. A fraying line, tethering me to the light, to his face.
'Yes, I will.' He says. 'I promise, I will'. But I can see it behind his eyes, the fear, the doubt, he can't know for sure.
The darkness, the cold, pulls me away from the light, away from his arms, still holding me. I want to scream, to fight. To plead with it. No! Let me stay with him, Jack! Jack! But it pulls me away, wraps it's arms around me, holds me down, smothers me.
I hear his voice break. 'Ianto . . . Ianto?'
The darkness pulls on my eyelids. My plea has fallen on deaf ears. Death's ears. Come away, it seems to say, come away from the light, the pain, the sorrow, come into the dark. I struggle, fighting against its pull.
Jack. Jack! I fall, and fall, and fall, fall into death's arms, into the release the dark brings with in its wake. Fall, screaming his name.
'Ianto, don't go. Don't leave me, please. Please, don't go! Ianto!' His voice carries as though from a great distance, across a hollow place, a chasm, separating me from him.
'Ianto!' His voice follows me into the dark.