Word count: 1250

all that I am, all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes

You can't remember how it started, how you went from Dean and Lavender to DeanLavender, a single item, unbreakable through the storm that rages in this world.

You can't remember when you started to notice her, but you definitely know it's during this year.

(In a way, it makes you want to thank this war, because it brought you this one good thing you know you would never have had otherwise.

And then you look at the young first years' faces, scared and scarred, and you just want to throw up for being so selfish.)

You weren't supposed to get together, because Lavender is the kind of girl you used to mock, back then when everything was normal, because Lavender's all laughs and giggles and smile and just that kind of joy you don't think you ever felt.

She's full of colors and they shine in every direction, without any kind of sense.

You're a painter, and to you she was that painting you knew could be great but was unfinished and would always be, like the artist who had painted it had forgotten to finish it.

It scared you, because you just can't stand to see something unfinished, and you knew that if you let yourself you would do everything to try to finish that piece so it could finally shine just right.

It wasn't until you got to know her that you realized how wrong you were, that what you had seen had just been what you had wanted to see.

You expected a shallow girl so you saw one, all quick lines and simple colors, and that's what you saw. And then the war came and she told you to run, to hide so you could be safe. She helped everyone and risked her life for things you wouldn't have thought mattered to her, and you saw the masterpiece she truly was.

(It still scares you sometimes to think how close you had been to destroy this, to erase the hero hidden in the girl and replace it by something you would have thought worthy.

It wouldn't have been anything less than murder, and you're very glad you never truly approached her before you came back to Hogwarts so you could help your friends resisting.)

You fell quickly and she did too. One day you were telling her what Ginny and Luna had told you to relay, the next you were part of a raid to the kitchens and the next you were kissing her and she was kissing you, and though it was still war and you were still on the List, you tasted freedom for the first time of the year.

The following week passed just as quickly, and now you find yourself in front of her, in a small alcove you asked the Room to provide.

She's warm in your embrace, and you tell her 'come with me'. Her eyes are brown and inviting and she says 'yes' with a smile that still makes your heart skips a beat.

She wears her hair in a messy ponytail and she's a far-cry from the girl who used to do her nails in the Gryffindor Common Room just last year and who was hanging herself around Ron's neck, but all you can think is 'this is her' and 'I love her, how did I not see her before'.

It's a date and a year ago you would have been terribly nervous, laughing with Seamus at your feeble attempts to tie your tie.

Instead a door opens behind you and you offer her your hand, and it's all so natural you could just have well be strolling down the park.

The tunnel is dark and yet it doesn't feel threatening.

(The Room provided it after all, and you asked for protection on this path. It's the least you can do to protect the treasure you have beside you, and you will do anything to keep her just as perfect as she is, strong and yet so gentle when she needs to be.

You never stood for any piece of art to be destroyed after all, and Lavender is already so much more than that.

She deserves the world, but the world is not yours to give, so instead of giving her the world you'll show her the sky, because you know she loves it and hasn't seen it in far too long.

You hope she'll understand what you mean by it, that it's the words you can't say yet, and as you feel her fingers wrapped in yours you know she will.)

You emerge in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. You're in a small clearing, but the night sky shines through the small gap in the trees above you. She lets out a small gasps of wonder and you know you made the right choice from the way she looks so serene with the wind in her hair.

You look at her and think that it's the most beautiful sight of the world.

(Your hand itches for paper and a pencil, but this time it's not to fix anything. You want to immortalize this instant for eternity; you want to rest of the world to be able to see what you see, just once and for forever. You want them to see this goddess walking beside you hiding in the impossibility that is a human body; you want to show the world exactly who is Lavender Brown.

You want them to be jealous of you and you want them to understand why you're the luckiest man in the whole universe.)

"You know I'm not going to freak out, right?" She asks, and though her eyes are unusually shiny, she's smiling with mirth.

"Of course you won't," you state.

She smiles, you smile and you let yourself be pulled to the ground next to her, lying on your back under the stars you both hadn't seen in a while.

She looks to the sky and tells you stories about them, she tells you that Mars is bright and that the end is coming but that she can't see what it'll be.

She soon loses herself in the stars and constellations that shine prettily above your heads, and you're pretty sure she's reciting the whole Astronomy book by now, but you can't help but stare at her instead of looking at what she describes for you.

There's a far more beautiful sight for you to see after all, and it's right beside you, telling you that stars are like people, they tell things without meaning to and make you learn when you don't want to.

If she knows anything about the way you stare at her and ignore the sight you brought her to see, she doesn't say anything. You know she knows though, because her hand is holding just a bit too tight on yours, and there's a soft smile on her lips.

It's perfection, and you both know you'll have to go back to reality soon enough. For now though, you're in this frozen picture of happiness and you'll stay there for as long as you can.

(You won't tell her you love her tonight, but she knows.

When you'll come back to the castle with you, she'll kiss you goodnight, and say 'tell me everything tomorrow, will you?'.

You'll nod but inside you'll just be hoping you'll be able to.)

AN/

Yes, I'm starting yet another collection. The idea came to me in one of my sleepless nights, and I liked it. So here it is, with a DeanLavender as its first piece.

The title comes from a line of Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, which I also used for inspiration.

This was written for the:

-Apprentice Competition, Round Three (Word: freedom, Dialogue: "You know I'm not going to, right?", Pairing: Dean/Lavender, Word: impossibility, Setting: the Forbidden Forest)
-Music Appreciation Challenge: Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars.

Please review to let me know what you thought.