Title: For Leaving Me

Author: xascasfellx

Rating: M

Pairing: Dean/Castiel

Spoilers: AR

Word Count: 1,909

Castiel flew through the underbrush without so much as a whisper of the leaves. He could tell that his body was carrying him faster, which helped with the Wendigo he was hunting tonight. Just his luck, the campers he had helped get to safety moments before had been loud about not understanding the situation and now he was being hunted as well. The forest was dark; only the shine of the moon above him helped lead the way to his camp. No crickets chirped as the minutes crept by. No animals showed themselves. The smell of blood clouded around him in a thick haze.

Castiel's feet slowed to a jog so he was able to lower himself to the ground. The Anasazi sigils he had carved into the ground earlier were still there, buying him time to grab the homemade flamethrower that was stuffed somewhere deep in his pack.

A branch snapped somewhere behind him; no accident. The Wendigo was skilled and wouldn't have made such a careless move unless it was on purpose. He wanted Castiel to know he was close.

A soft cry, a familiar cry, rang through the forest almost making Castiel stop in his tracks. One of the campers—Bailey? Hailey?—whatever her name was, she was the girl he had spent last night with in the tent—but nonetheless he had made sure she was out of harm's way and to safety. The monster was toying with him. He had to give it props for being clever enough to think one night of meaningless sex had made her an appropriate voice to imitate, to try and throw him off target.

As if on cue, the wind picked up scattering the dirt around his feet; the sigils disappeared around him, inviting the hunter to him. A few minutes went by in complete silence. Castiel didn't even allow himself to breathe so he could try and pinpoint the exact, or close to it, location of the monster.

It was about a quarter of a mile southeast.

Castiel pushed up against the bark of the tree holding his weapon close to his side with white knuckles. He didn't want to chance it being knocked out of his grip when the real fight began.

Within seconds it was on him.

Claws caught onto his face, tearing at the all too sensitive flesh, but he couldn't bring himself to care. All he could think about was smoking the damn thing. Its growls filled the night air along with Castiel's own grunts of struggle

The Wendigo pulled him up by the neck severing his oxygen supply. His face was brought up to meet the things eyes—the lifeless, cold, hungry eyes. His lungs burned through his chest desperately craving even the smallest amount of air. Castiel scratched at the creatures hand, flamethrower lost somewhere on the ground behind them.

In a last act of hope he pulled a knife from his pants, jabbing it into the Wendigo's right eye. Castiel was dropped to the cold floor as the thing stumbled back in pain; cries of outrage piercing his ears.

Quickly, and ignoring the pain, he scurried over to the flower to aim it at the beast. Before he could pull down on the knob it's claws found Castiel's leg easily ripping it to shreds. The sounds of his own cried were drowned out by the Wendigo's that was now engulfed in flames.

The heat was blistering.

The smell was even worse, but Castiel couldn't gather enough energy to move himself from the bush.

Blood was flowing from the gashes on his face into his mouth causing him to choke, but the cuts on his face were minor compared to the extent of the damage on his leg. How he could even call it a leg anymore was beyond comprehension.

Grunting with pain, Castiel pulled off his shirt with too much effort to tie it securely around the open wounds.

To say it burned like hell was a serious understatement.

Black spots began to cloud his vision from the pain. To stop the bleeding so he wouldn't bleed out, Castiel put more pressure on his extended leg, only causing the rush of blood to flow faster down his face. Even more black spots clouded his vision.

Castiel didn't even feel his head hit the trunk of the tree when he passed out.

….

It was refreshing to be somewhere other than that damn hospital bed. Castiel had been trying to escape the constant hovering of doctors and nurses for the past week without any luck. If he hadn't been on the verge of dying he wouldn't have let a couple who found him passed out, half dead, take him to the ER. Hell, he was pretty sure if he was conscious he wouldn't have let them, dying or not.

But two surgeries and one stopped heart later Castiel was sneaking past the security guard and making his way to the parking lot so he could hotwire a car. The pain was unimaginable as he drove down the highway towards his hotel room. He was pretty sure he had passed out a couple of time since when he reached his room he had no memory of how he got there.

Just like any other hotel he stayed at it was cold, damp, and probably mold infested, but it was hell of a lot better than being kept up inside the hospital. It was like a home to him now.

Castiel made his way through the entrance with a limp and a whole lot of cussing. With a few hours of rest he would be back on the job soon enough. The slashes weren't that bad anyway; except the burning in his chest whenever he breathed, but he could live through it.

Something wasn't right.

Castiel knew the moment he opened the door that something was off before he even saw the dark figure by the window. He pulled his gun from the waistband of his pants, with some effort, holding it up as he looked at the person before him.

If it had heard him enter the hotel room it didn't show it. He was talking on the phone; mumbling something inaudible to Castiel. He quickened his movement to the other side of the room, closer to the man. He sighed as he lowered the phone from his ear, but didn't turn around.

Castiel cocked his gun resulting in two green eyes turning to look in his own.

Dean.

Dean's eyes traveled down Castiel to the gun he still held in his hand with no intention to lower it.

Once again Dean's eyes meet his before he sighed again and stated, "It's fine Cas. I'm not possessed." He lowered the collar of his shirt to show Cas that the anti-possession tattoo was still intact. "I'm not a shape shifter either." Dean took his silver knife from his pants, sliding a long cut down his forearm. Blood dripped down from the line, but neither made any move to add pressure to it.

Still Castiel didn't lower the gun.

"Cas. It's me."

"Exactly, Dean. It's you." Dean's breath faltered slightly before a cocky smiled played at the corners of his lips.

"You going to shoot me, badass?" He questioned, tilting the end of the gun down and away from himself. Castiel glared at Dean as he replaced the gun back into the waistband of his pants, again with even more effort.

"Gotta say Cas, you look like—" Before Dean could finish Cas slammed his fist through Dean's face. He could feel both their skin splitting on impact. Dean fell backwards onto the wall, holding his, now, bloody face in his hands.

"What the fuck Cas!?" His yells were short lived by Castiel pulling him to his feet and slamming his fist into Dean's face again.

More blood splattered on the wall behind them.

Pain burned in Castiel's chest causing him to fall weakly to his knees in front of the bloody hunter. Despite the actions seconds prier Dean reached out to Cas, but was shaken off. They sat in silence for a while, both breathing rapidly.

"Why are you here?" His voice was shaken, his body even worse. Dean wiped away at the blood on his face slowly. The room was dead silence with the exception of Cas grunting every time he inhaled.

"Bobby hadn't heard from you in a while, so I came to check in on you. 'Ya know—see if you were all right." Neither one could look at the other.

If tension could kill…

"I'm fine. You should leave." Castiel snapped, standing only to have his knees give out, sending him forward onto Dean's lap. The pain was worse than before. A small cry of pain had escaped Castiel's lips before he could bite them back.

"Oh right Cas, you're fucking fantastic." He whispered as he ran a finger down the scar on Castiel's cheek. Every part of him wanted to lean into Dean's touch, but instead he pushed up so he could limp over towards the table where an old bottle of whiskey sat half empty.

"Eight months." He heard himself whisper after drowning the bottle. At this point he didn't care if he sounded like he was a girl.

He needed to know.

"Eight. Fucking. Months." He whispered again. Castiel could tell Dean was somewhere close behind him, but he didn't turn. Instead he stayed silent to see if his hunter would say anything in return. When he didn't Castiel became enraged. "Why!?" He screamed, turning, only to see sadness and regret in Dean's eyes, only making him scream louder. "I waited for you! I waited for eight goddamn months Dean! I just turned human you bastard! And you and Sam just walked out on me! Not so much as a fucking goodbye!"

White hot rage clouded his vision. Even though his chest was burning with more fire than humanly possible he continued to scream anyway; Dean emotionless before him.

"Fuck you! Fuck you Dean Winchester!" Castiel slammed his fist onto Dean's bottom lip for a third time, sending him back onto the floor in a bloody mess.

"Fuck you for being the one I had to raise from perdition!" As soon as Dean was standing again Cas hit him harder this time. Dean's eye was beginning to swell shut, his lips a bloody pulp, but also shut. He still wouldn't say anything.

"Fuck you for being the reason I fell and became human!" Another hit smashed into Dean's face.

Nothing.

"Fuck you for being the one person I would and have lost everything for!"

Another.

"Fuck your perfect cocky smile and your perfect fucking green eyes!" One last punch was delivered to Dean's face. Castiel was afraid he has become unconscious, but he was too far in to stop now.

"And fuck you for making me love you Dean Winchester. Fuck. You." Cas hadn't realized he was crying until Dean wiped a stray tear away from his cheek. He couldn't help but laugh without humor at the scene.

"You love me." Dean mumbled. It was more of a statement than a question, but he answered anyway.

"Very much, yes." At that Dean laughed resulting in frown from Cas. "You find me confessing my love for you humorous." Dean's smile only widened sending more blood down his chin.

"Love you t—too." He whispered before passing out.