Raining
Raining
It was raining now. I had always wondered why, when I was feeling the worst, when I was completely alone and defenseless, the rain would come. Some days it came out of heaven like a gift, washing away my sins, the blood that covered me like a second skin. And other days it beat down, like the heartbeat of an avenging angel dredging up all the faces of the ones I loved. These are mine. They are mine and any second I can take them away. They were a gift to you, even though you did not deserve it. Remember, everything is mine.
It has always seemed strange to me that I, the one who controls and feels all emotion, can become so depressed by something so…insignificant, so mundane. And yet, it felt right too. Why shouldn't I be humbled by something so small as this? Was this a reality check, sent from above? A reminder that I was not a powerful as I liked to think? If it was, it was a little late for that.
I sighed drew a deep breath, feeling the unnecessary air whoosh into the secret pocket under my still heart. The house was empty and I was alone, the others had left to my own thoughts and devices, well knowing that when this lingering melancholy came upon me it was best to escape.
I think back to another day, a day when it was not rain that fell from the heavens but blood. Blood sent as gift for my own personal enjoyment and torture.
The leaves were falling and the air was starting to cool. The house was lit up with hundreds of candles and flowers floated in bowls of water all over the house. It was Bella's birthday and it felt like angels in heaven was beaming down their smiles and good wishes on this heavenly child. The one who wasn't happy was Bella herself.
She hated growing older, she confided to me later. Hated the thought of growing aged and wrinkled while Edward stood at her side and watched and did nothing. The one thing she couldn't bear, was living. It was an ongoing fight she and Edward had been having, it had spanned several months and with each week Edward grew more and more stubborn but then, so did Bella. We all thought he would cave in the end. It's funny how, in the end, it wasn't Edward who granted her wish but me.
The night is still young and if it weren't raining, ahh, if only it weren't raining, I could see the fairies dance in the trees and the lightning bugs shoot around the house. But it is. It's raining and it takes me back, back to the days when everything was set in stone and laughter still rang through our house. It takes me to the days, the days before I killed Bella Swan.
This is just a short, not even five hundred word, drabble on what would have happened if on her birthday, Jasper had managed to bite Bella and fill her with enough venom that she had to be changed. The idea came to me when I was in the middle of chapter five of Blood Lust and I just had to write it. It kind of helped me see Jasper more clearly. Hope you guys like it!