Title: Tear You Apart
Author: Phaedra's Love
Fandom: BtVS/Angel
Pairing: Faith/Angel
Disclaimer: This all belongs to Joss.
She wonders when he realized the truth about her, who she really was. What was more than that, she wonders when he stopped caring enough to call her out on it.
A blonde slip of a girl shows up at his front door in the pouring rain, more pain behind those pale eyes than he remembers ever seeing before. For a brief second he wonders if she's so lost because he left her behind, nothing but the dim hope that maybe one day... He know it's not fair. Because there is never going to be a one day for the two of them. Still, he can't find it in his heart to tell her the truth. He could never find it in his heart to turn her away, and so he draws her inside into open arms. Just as if she belongs there.
At first she thought she'd take him for everything he is. Send him spinning in circles before she finally jams the stake straight into his heart. She hates the way he looks at her, the gentle passion marring the edge of his dark eyes. No one has ever looked at her that way before she started wearing Buffy's body and now it just burns her up inside. She finally has what she wants only to discover she wishes she could trade places with her sister slayer again. It's too late for that.
A phone call from Giles and he disappears for days. She's terrified that he knows the truth and relieved all at the same time. She paces his apartment, never sleeps, never eats, just let's everything fester inside of her. She doesn't know any other way to be. She waits, sure that he's going to come flying out of the darkness and slit her throat at any second. She wishes he would hurry up.
He waits until she's finally fallen asleep before he appears, like a dark shadow emerging from the deepest parts of her soul. There's tears in his eyes and he doesn't brush them away. He has a choice to make and any choice feels like a betrayal burning his cold dead heart. Some part of him wants to kill her, stab her in the heart. But that part of him has eyes and sees the pale hair, the trembling in her sleep. The biggest part of him wants to save her and he pushes it far out of his mind. It's too late to save her. When his hand reaches down and pulls her knees gently apart he knows it's too late to save him too.
When he comes he whispers Buffy's name a thousand times and Faith clings to him more tightly, tears streaming down her face. No one's ever been saved by a lie but she doesn't know that. No one's ever bothered to lie to her that way before.