Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Doctor Who. I do not own the image that this was inspired by, which is a scenic vista of Hogwarts with the TARDIS in the foreground and the words (submitted to whoviandrabbles DOT tumblr DOT com by corey5268), "The Doctor stumbled on Hogwarts once. Dumbledore was amused when he learned that the anti-Muggle charms don't work on aliens."

Thanks go out to Random Ravings (whose Doctor Who fics are charming) and Stella Malodi (who writes awesome Harry Potter fics) for their beta work.

Rose was annoyed. It seemed like Albus and Scorpius were in a constant state of disagreement about something, whether it was which Quidditch team was the greatest of all time or where they should sit in the library to do their homework or their endless sniping about whether Gryffindor or Slytherin was the best House (she stayed silent during these discussions, safe in the knowledge that her House, Ravenclaw, was really the superior one). Whenever they had one of these arguments, it inevitably ended in threats on either side, and eventually an agreement to sneak off into the grounds for a duel.

This particular evening, she was annoyed because she had missed out on her favorite pudding. Her friends had dragged her away near the end of dinner, insisting that she, as usual, had to referee their duel. What they really meant, of course, was that they needed her to be there in case one of them got hurt, and she was the best at running for Madame Pomfrey and coming up with what Scorpius called "lies" and Albus called "creative excuses."

They headed toward the lake, their favorite duelling ground, Rose trailing behind while the boys traded pre-duel insults. By the time they reached their destination, the mudslinging had reached the "my dad is better than your dad" level. Rose pulled out her wand, leaned against a tree, and waited as her friends stood back to back as usual, took ten paces as usual, and then turned to fire their curses as usual.

"Stop!" Rose said suddenly. "What's that?!" Both boys jumped. They weren't used to her interfering; wands outstretched, they both turned to look at her face. It looked surprised. They turned to see what she was seeing, but before they could, she took off toward it.

They looked at one another. They couldn't continue their duel without her. Who would tell Madame Pomfrey that Scorpius had fallen off a ladder in the library if Albus used Levicorpus again and accidentally whacked his opponent's head on a tree branch? They set aside their differences for the moment. After all, who really cared which Hogwarts professor would be victorious in a duel anyway?

"Rose, wait!" Albus called out, as both the boys took off after her.

It looked like a box. A box, just sitting next to the lake in the middle of the night. Whatever it was, it was... glowing. Or emitting light somehow. It looked sort of like...

"How did this Muggle garbage get here?" Scorpius wondered as the three students jogged to a stop before the box.

"It's not garbage," Rose snapped, putting her hand out to touch it. "My granddad would love this."

"Well, your grandfather's got good taste," came a voice.

Albus brandished his wand threateningly. "Who's there?" he called. "Show yourself!"

Double doors on one side of the box opened and a man stuck his head out. He stared at the three of them and frowned. "Have I gone wrong again?" he said, to himself, it seemed. "Excuse me, I was headed to Scotland to have a round of golf with my good friend James." He paused and made a face. "How far off am I?"

Albus' bravado had vanished. "You... know my brother?" he stammered.

"Your brother?" the man squinted at him. "But I thought Mary only had the one son. It's not 1610 by any chance, is it?"

"1610?" Scorpius scoffed. "Who are you? How did you get that onto the grounds? Muggle things aren't allowed. Someone must have seen you."

The man cleared his throat, stepped out of his box, and straightened his bow tie. He gave Scorpius a look as though he had stepped in something foul and no one had mentioned it to him yet. He fixed his eye on Albus. "Pleased to meet you, your Highness, I'm the Doctor," he said, then held out his hand to Rose. "And who might you be?"

"Rose," she said, stepping forward to shake his hand.

"Rose," he repeated, smiling with sadness in his eyes. "That's a great name, 'Rose.'"

"What is this thing?" Scorpius asked, poking the box with his wand.

"I'll tell you what it isn't," the Doctor said, "It's not Muggle and it's not garbage. It's a TARDIS. And you're not Scottish. You're..." he leaned down and inspected the young Slytherin, then stepped back and said in a surprised tone, "First years!"

After looking around him and grinning for a bit while the students stood and stared, he continued. "How do you like Hogwarts, then? First year, very exciting; trip across the lake, the Sorting-how is the old hat? I'm the one who gave it to Godric in the first place, you know-A Ravenclaw, a Slytherin, and a Gryffindor... why is it you're out here so late? Duelling, is it? There's a good place for it on the other side of the lake, no teachers can see you from the windows of the castle, but perhaps you've already found it."

"Who are you?" Albus asked.

"I think the more important question is what kind of Gryffindor would be out at night duelling with a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin when they know that they could be caught at any moment and lose points for their House?"

"I don't plan to get caught," Albus replied boldly.

The Doctor smiled. "Spoken like a true Gryffindor." He clapped his hands and ushered them toward the castle. "Come on, let's get everyone inside, don't want to get in trouble or give Hufflepuff the lead for the House Cup."

Rose tried her best to ignore the boys, who were bickering again, as they stumbled back toward the castle in the darkness. "Doctor," she called, "your box, your... TARDIS... you said it wasn't Muggle, but it looks that way. Is it magic?"

"Of course it is," the Doctor replied, grinning.

"You're a wizard, then?" she asked.

His response was, "Did you go to Ollivander's for your wand?"

She nodded, and drew it out to show it off. It was still quite new to her, but she loved it. "Hazel and phoenix feather. Ten and three quarters inches. Unbending." She waved it, and a glitter of multicolored sparks lit the night. "How about you?"

"Mine's a bit different." He dug into his top jacket pocket and pulled out something metalish. "Ollivander's is still around during the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. The man I bought this from was a direct descendant named Pemberton. Not quite the same ring as 'Ollivander,' but still the same quality." He held it out, and its end glowed green while it made a slight buzzing sound. "It doesn't do wood, though."

"Did you go to Hogwarts?"

"No. Dumbledore did ask me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts once, but it wasn't for me."

They reached the doors and pulled them open to find a familiar figure standing in the entrance hall.

"Taking an evening stroll?"

The first years froze. There was nothing worse than being discovered breaking school rules by the Headmistress. "Minerva! How are you?" the Doctor asked cordially, striding forward and happily wringing her hand. "You're looking marvelous!"

"Doctor," she said, her tone a mixture of pleasure and suspicion.

"We were just out for a walk. Breathing the air, exercising our... legs, that sort of thing." He turned and gave the other three a look that suggested they back up his story. There was immediately a chorus of agreement.

"I see." They could tell that Professor McGonagall could see right through their ruse, but instead of giving them detentions and deducting House points, she smiled. "I suppose as long as you were with the Doctor, who is notorious for being tardy-"

"I was headed for the beginning of the seventeenth century," he interjected.

The Headmistress cleared her throat and continued. "As I was saying, I will allow this rather overdue return because of your company. In the future, I expect you to be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there. Is that understood?"

A round of "yes, Professor," was heard, and the students were dismissed with a rather arch look from their Headmistress. As they headed off to their separate common rooms, the boys shared a glare that meant their duelling business was not over, while Rose waved goodbye to the Doctor.

When they were out of earshot, Professor McGonagall turned the look at the Doctor, and said, "I haven't seen you since Dumbledore's funeral; how have you been?"

He heard the real question she was asking: "Where have you been," and chose to answer delicately. "Sorry I missed the war. Couldn't interfere. Fixed point in time and all that. Glad it went well."

Professor McGonagall huffed. "I wouldn't go that far. There were too many unnecessary casualties. And the community is still healing. There's quite a lot of bad blood still left over."

"Don't worry too much, Minerva. Hogwarts is the best place for you to make a difference. The children you're teaching will make the world a better place!"

She nodded curtly. "I saw you talking to Miss Weasley, so I can see why you feel that way. She's one of our brightest. Has perhaps even more potential than her mother."

"And the other two?"

She sniffed. "Troublemakers. Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy."

"The Boy Who Made the Boy Who Lived Proud and the Malfoy Who was More than His Name?" The Doctor laughed. "Oh, Minerva, you've got some trying years coming, but don't give up. Believe me, they will make the world a better place."

"It's nice to see you, Doctor," she said, smiling. "Will you come back and visit again soon?"

"I'd like that," he said, grinning at her. "But right now, I'm late for golf."

Author's note: Thank you for reading! This is dedicated to the members of the HP & DW fan communities on facebook, and Victor Pemberton, the man who invented the sonic screwdriver but has never been given any credit for it. I don't have any evidence that he is a direct descendant of Garrick Ollivander, but you never know.