Title: Unrealistically General
Author: Belisse
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and weird situations.
Pairing: None
Genre: GENERAL (but it will have humor, angst, whump, nakedness and someone reading erotica)
Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, SGA is not mine. It belongs to someone else.
A/N: Ok… my bunnies are naughty, but not in a good sense. All the four other fics are now on stand by (I'm truly sorry) due to some heavy bunny blockage. In my search to break the blocking walls I came up with a self challenge. Mind you I didn't copy this from anywhere; I made it from scratch in order to give my bunnies a good push. I picked 20 themes or words, and I will write 20 drabbles or ficlets. ALL WILL BE GEN FICS… sorry to shout. But you will not find any slash or ships in here, mostly friendship and some embarrassed individuals. I'm going to confess that these will not be the most original fics you'll find, I'm just trying to write. And each chapter will be a different fic. If you want to know the themes before hand go by my profile. I hope you all like it and I hope this makes my bunnies move their sorry asses.
Enjoy!
#1 - Moan
The alarms were screaming as the gate started working. The movement of people around the gate room looked almost blurred. Col. Sheppard's team was coming in early and requesting a medical team. Elizabeth Weir was already accompanied by Carson at the foot of the stairs. Both had worried expressions, because even if it was common knowledge that Sheppard's team had a bit of bad luck, they always worried.
But as the team stepped through, something looked very wrong. Everyone was looking at Ronon, who in turn was being pulled by the shirt by an annoying looking Teyla. Ronon's face was another matter, he looked in ecstasy. In short, his face was filled with pleasure. The Colonel looked at Elizabeth with a mixture of amusement and worry. But before anyone could say a word, Carson stepped in to attend the weird looking Ronon. When Carson touched the ex-runner in the arm, Ronon let out one loud moan.
The room fell silent in an instant as Elizabeth tried to approach the Colonel again. "John, what happened?"
Sheppard's mouth opened to reply but he stopped before starting. Because Carson's team were moving Ronon towards a stretcher and he began to sound as if he was having a major orgasm. The medical team left with Ronon's moans echoing through the hallways. And they moved fast, at least before anyone started laughing.
Elizabeth looked at the rest of the team once again. They were reacting just like everyone else in the room. But Elizabeth wanted to know what happened, as she faced Colonel Sheppard. "The briefing room… now!"
They all seemed to snap out and follow the base Commander. Once they were all sitting, Elizabeth repeated, "What happened?"
Sheppard shook his head, while Rodney started. "He accepted something he shouldn't have."
Elizabeth frowned. "What?"
"Food," Sheppard finished.
Elizabeth had to do a double take. "Food?"
"Apparently Earth is not the only place where the saying, the way to win a man's heart is through his stomach." John said looking down for a bit. Teyla decided to finish the tale for him. "Ronon took part in a marriage ceremony."
"That was meant for me." Sheppard finished.
Elizabeth put up her hands and said, "Wait, you were going to get married?"
The Colonel shook his head. "No, the girl tried to trick me. I didn't know it was a marriage ceremony, and the food looked a bit weird so I turned it down. But Ronon…"
Rodney cut Sheppard off and said, "He took the food before I could. I guess I'll have to thank him."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Did the girl who set you up tell you how to cure him?"
"There's nothing we can do. She told us that it was supposed to be a sensory enhancer for the wedding night. It is supposed to go away in a couple of hours." Teyla answered.
Elizabeth seemed to think about it then stood up. "Ok, I'm heading to the infirmary. You're dismissed."
She walked out and found that everyone on the team was heading to the infirmary with her. Once they walked in the infirmary, Elizabeth told Carson what the team had told her. He was looking flushed.
Then Rodney asked. "How is he?"
"He seems to be physically fine. Other than reacting as if… he's having multiple orgasms anytime someone touches him, he'll be okay."
Sheppard moved in closer towards Ronon's bed, only to witness the ex-runner moaning as the nurse fixed up the IV.
That went on for a while, Rodney and Teyla decided to stay for a while. At least until Ronon stopped moaning, that came to pass around dawn. Ronon had been quiet for a while. After behaving as if he was having orgasmic dreams every two hours, Ronon finally woke up.
At this time Sheppard was the only one who was still awake, and currently playing with his PDA. Ronon still didn't seemed to be a hundred percent himself, but at least he looked normal.
"How do you feel?" Sheppard asked him.
"Like the moment I found out I was betrothed … in the clouds."
John frowned as he did a double take. "You were betrothed?"
Ronon started looking a bit groggy. "Soldiers were often betrothed in Sateda."
That was interesting; imagining Ronon as a married man… but before the Colonel could dig up more into the betrothed matter Ronon fell asleep.
-0-0-0-
When morning arrived Carson threw everyone out of the infirmary saying that they needed to rest and that Ronon was going to be ok. Sheppard obeyed without protest, besides he needed a shower… big time.
A shower and a nap later Sheppard left to the infirmary in wanting to know of Ronon's condition. But when he arrived Carson told him that the Runner had just been released. Sheppard knew Ronon's favorite place and he headed that way; the mess hall.
Ronon was eating alone. Sheppard quickly approached the table; Ronon noticed the Colonel's presence and seemed to lower his head.
"Ronon… how are you feeling?" Sheppard asked as he sat down across from Ronon.
Ronon glanced at Sheppard. "Fine," the answer was sharp and humorless.
But Sheppard didn't miss a beat. "Is it true that you were betrothed?"
Ronon froze. "What?"
Sheppard lied back to his chair and held up his hands. "Hey! You told me that last night, while you were…" Sheppard noticed the glare Ronon was giving him. "Don't look at me like that! I wasn't asking you anything; you just came out and said it."
There was a moment of silence, and then Ronon nodded. Sheppard smiled. "Cool, did you like her?"
Ronon took a bite of bread and glanced at the Colonel. "I didn't have the chance to know her. A week later the Wraith arrived and I was taken."
Silence fell again between them; Sheppard respected it as it was not a normal thing for Ronon to say something about his life in Sateda.
"Not a word, okay?" Ronon said out of the sudden.
Sheppard was taken aback by the sudden request and a smirk formed in his lips. "Did you really felt in the clouds when they told you?"
Ronon eyed the Colonel with a murderous glare. "You're not going to let this go, right?"
"Not for a minute." Sheppard replied kind of amused by Ronon's reaction. Then he added, "Don't worry Ronon, I won't say anything. But you might have to worry for the nurses that were on duty last night."
Ronon frowned. "Why?"
"Because I wasn't alone in the infirmary when you told me that," Sheppard said with a grin.
Ronon sighted and returned to his food while Sheppard eyed him. Nothing was ever normal in Atlantis.