"Why! Why does this always happen to us?" Brooke groaned out loud looking out side of Karen's Café and seeing that it was down pouring.
"Brooke stop being so dramatic, this never happens to us." Peyton told her.
"It happened that other time."
"What like three years ago?"
"Drop dead P-Sawyer."
Peyton stuck out her tongue, Brooke did the same.
The thing they were referring to was the nice day they had all planned out. Everyone was together and they were all going to go on Brooke's dads' boat and go tubing and swimming for the day. Unfortunately no one was clever enough to turn on the Weather channel to see that it was going to be all thunderstorms all day.
"Okay so what do we do now?" Lucas asked.
"Movies?" Haley suggested.
"Yeah I really wanted to see Transformers!" Brooke squealed.
"Really?" Nathan asked.
"Yeah, that movie looks so awesome."
"Hell yeah." Lucas agreed.
"Yes!" Peyton shot her hand in the air.
"This actually looks pretty good." Haley told Nathan as she snuggled into his embrace some more.
"Alright then, let's get ready and go." Lucas said.
"I want popcorn!" Brooke immediately said when they walked into the movie theatre.
"I want milk dudes!" Peyton yelled after her.
"Oh me too." Jake imitated them sarcastically.
Haley laughed out loud, and they were all walking to their theatre she suddenly had the urge to pee.
"Oh god! I suddenly have the urge to pee!" Haley announced. "I'll be right back." She told them
"Babe, do you want me to get you anything?" Nathan asked.
"Um no thanks I'm not really hungry."
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Well just get me a small popcorn."
"Okay." He smiled.
"And some nacho's!"
"Okay."
"Also to drink a large pepsi, and some sour patch kids, oh and just go ahead and make the small popcorn a large okay?"
"Alright fatty."
She giggled and kept on walking.
She walked over to the bathroom, but didn't notice the Warning Wet Floor sign.
"Hales watch out!" Lucas called, but it was to late. Haley's foot slipped right under her and she smacked her head on the wall and then hit the floor.
Haley heard everyone call out her name, and she could see them, but slowly they all faded out and all there was, was darkness.
Haley felt her head spinning and she had a pounding headache. She tried calling out but all she heard was mumbling. Slowly everything started to come back into focus, but she wasn't on the floor in anymore, in fact she wasn't even in the theatre anymore.
"ow." She groaned out loud.
"Baby you okay?" She heard a familiar voice.
She sat up and rubbed her eyes, and when they finally focused on the figure in front of her she realized it was Peyton.
"Peyton what the…" Haleys mouth fell wide open. Peyton's face was the same, but that was about it.
"Girl you been out fo' like half an hour, and I had to like, watch ova you. What da hell I tell ya bout playing 'round in dat pigs pen?"
"Huh?"
Haley stared at Peyton. She no longer was the slim slender beauty Haley knew her as, she was…fat and grungy looking. She had her hair pulled back and a bandana on her head, she had overalls on, and Haley could see Peyton's fat poking through. And Peyton's once A cups were now Double D's!
"What the hell is going on?"
" 'ey you! No cussing round here."
Haley watched as Peyton walked out of the room. She stood there for a moment shaking her head, and slapping herself until she finally decided following Peyton would be the smartest idea.
"What the fuckkkkkkkkk" She mumbled before she got up and chased Peyotn down the stairs and saw her making dinner.
"Um Peyton."
"yessummm?"
"Where are we?"
Peyton looked at her funny.
"Oh don go and tell me Brookie's gott you sucking dem helium balloons again. Damn her, BROOKE…get down here..now!"
Peyton hear footsteps and a figure emerged from the side and Haley had to do a double take.
"Who is that?" Haley asked.
"Who the fuck do you think it is?" Brooke's voice said.
Haley's eyes grew as big as saucers. Brooke was no longer Brooke! Her whole head of hair was braded down to her shoulders and she wore pants, really big pants. She had a shirt that read Don't Fuck With Me on and a black thick coat on top of that. Her neck was covered with chains of all kinds of styles. Her left ear had a thick gold hoop in it and it looked as if she was punched in the eye. It was all black and blue.
"What..what happened to you?" Haley gasped.
"Dem boys next door was messin round with Nathan again." Peyton told her.
"So I took care of it." Brooke grunted. She walked to the fridge and grabbed a Pepsi. She gulped it down within a whole ten seconds and belched loudly after that. Haley looked at her disgusted and Brooke just giggled. And Peyton shook her head.
"Why couldn't Nathan just take care of it himself?" Haley asked shocked. Her husband could always take care of himself, why would he need Brooke take care of him? She was almost afraid of her answer would be.
"They were big." A small voice said. Haley looked all around the room; the voice definitely came from inside that room. "Really, really big."
Haley looked underneath the table and jumped back with shock. Nathan sat under there, in a big t-shirt that read Mamma's Boy and he was holding his knees to himself rocking back and fourth.
"Damn you bitch, get the fuck out from underneath the table." Brooke kicked him and he crawled out.
"Don't call me that!" he whined.
"Bitch, Bitch, Bitch." Brooke taunted.
"Stop!" he cried, he put his hands over his ears and stomped his foot. "Stop!"
"Dang! Shut it. Brooke go get da rest , and you." She pointed to Nathan. "You get to 'elp me wit dinner!"
Nathan instantly stopped crying and looked up.
"Yes!" He jumped up with his hands in the air. Brooke rolled her eyes and mouthed the words Bitch to him before walking out all together.
Haley put her head in her hands and took a deep breath.
"200, 201,202.." A gruff voice from around the corner counted. Haley looked up.
"J..J.." She tried to say the name, but it just wasn't coming out.
"Jake!" Nathan smiled. "How much weight is that! How many are you doing? Did you get any bigger?" He jumped up and down like a child. "What are you doing now? What..OW!"
Jake had thrown one of his huge weights right at Nathan. It hit him square in the head and he ran out of the room crying.
"You dang muscle butt!" Peyton threw a dishtowel at him.
Jake just laughed at looked at Haley. "What's up sexy?"
Haley tried to look away but just couldn't take her eyes off Jake. He was huge! Haley had only seen muscles and bodies like that in magazines. Jake had a huge body builder body. His thigh muscles were bigger then Haleys head! NO, like three of her heads!
"What the hell is this place?"
Jake looked up. "Same place we always are Mrs. Mchottie. Hill Tree."
"Hill Tree?" She whispered.
Haley continued to try and shake her head and slap herself. She had to wake up. This was all a bad dream.
"Finally we can eat." Jake's voice disrupted her thoughts. Haley looked up to see what he was talking about. Peyton, Brooke, and Nathan all walked in the kitchen. They all took a seat and Haley noticed one chair was empty.
"Where's Lukey?" Nathan asked.
"I told that boy to be 'ere at 7 sharp. Dang." Peyton shook her head and was about to get up until she heard him.
"Helloooooooooooooooooo." A loud yell came from the doorway.
Haley turned around so fast she fell of her chair. That could not be Lucas. Not her Lucas. No, never.
Lucas had hair down to his shoulders and it was half up half down, kind of resembling a Pebbles Flinstone kind of look. He was wearing a super tight pink shirt with the collar popped and he had short shorts on, with a nice pair of pink sandals to match. His nails and toenails were painted rainbow and he had a purse on his shoulder.
"Helloooooooo." He repeated with his hands in the air. He walked to the table and took a seat.
"Sorry I'm late boo, Romeo decided to take me out for ice cream."
"How can that Bryan dude take you out for ice cream? He doesn't have any money!" Jake told him.
"Suga who said it was Bryan?" Lucas giggled. "Tonight Romeo was Sean. Yesterday was Bryan, and tomorrow it's Angelo. Mmmmm, now I loveeeeee me some of Angelo."
"Barf." Jake made a gagging gesture.
"Oh don't be jealous." Lucas smacked him. "Just cause you can't get no booty."
Jake rolled his eyes.
"Oh girly, what happened to your eye?" Lucas pointed to Brooke's face.
"Damn, you don't' gotta fucking point right in my face. Your lucky I don't pound your ass for that." She slapped his finger out of the way.
"Don't be gettin all hostel on my girl." Lucas snapped his fingers.
"She saved me." Nathan whispered.
"Dem boys next door be pickin on him again. Brooke took care of it, yes she did." Peyton smiled happily as she continued to eat her dinner.
"What's wrong with bootylicious over there?" Lucas pointed over to Haley, who's jaw was still on the floor.
"She's fucking high." Brooke said.
"Jus' cause you do dat shit don me everyone does." Peyton yelled. "She jus don feel good."
"She is looking at me weird! Make it stop! Make it stop! I don't like it! I don't..OW!" Brooke has thrown the apple she was eating right at Nathan's head. It bounced off and his eyes automatically were filled with tears.
"Don't cry babby." Lucas cooed. He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a condom. "Here, this is for you."
Nathan's face went pink.
"What the hell are you giving him that for?" Jaked asked, still lifting weights while eating.
"It's a just in case." Lucas winked.
Nathan giggled as he unwrapped it and blew it up. "Look!" He laughed.
"Fucking die." Brooke mumbled and popped the condom balloon with her fork.
Nathan's bottom lip was trembling.
"Aw hurr we go." Peyton threw her hands in the air.
"This can not be happening." Haley shook her head and said it a little to loudly.
"What?" They all asked in unison.
"This! You guys. You're all FREAKS!"
"Oh no she didn't." Lucas snapped his fingers.
"What I tell you bout calln us names." Peyton yelled.
"Where the fuck am I?"
"Hill Tree baby doll." Jake winked at her.
"You told me that already." She mumbled.
"Yessumm" Peyton nodded.
"It's the bestest place in the whole world!" Nathan jumped up from his chair and screamed. Before he sat down Jake placed a whoopee cushion down on his chair and went he sat down it made the sound that he just let one rip.
His face went bright red and he looked around the table as everyone laughed out loud.
"Stop laughing!" Nathan stomped his foot on the ground!
"Nice one muscles." Lucas went for a high five and Jake smacked him so hard he flew back into the yams, which flew into Brooke's face.
Everyone got silent as she slowly wiped it off her face and then looked at Jake.
"You're fucking dead."
In a flash Brooke got up and chased after him as Lucas was still shrieking about getting yams all over his new manicure. Nathan was on his chair sucking on his thumb as Peyton was picking food out of her teeth.
Haley looked around, and gulped her iced tea. "I need to use the bathroom"
"Ya know whurr it is baby." Peyton pointed and Haley followed.
She kept shaking her head and didn't even realize that Jake and Brooke were rounding the corner before it was to late and they all collided.
Haley fell backwards and felt the back of her head smack against the wall.
"Fuck." Brooke yelled.
"Shit, Haley are you alright!"
Haley tried to answer but she felt her head getting light, and she could only mumble out words.
"oh my god!" She heard Nathan yell. "She is going to die! Oh my god! She is going to die! Die! Help her, help her! Hel-OW!" Brooke had gotten annoyed and threw her shoe right at him.
"Sweet Jesus Mary And Joseph let the lady have some room!" Lucas yelled as he and Peyton made their way over to her.
"Peyton is gonna take care of ya sweet child" She heard Peyton say.
Haley's eyes rolled in the back of her head and she felt her self drifting off to la-la land.
"Haley, Haley." She heard voices.
"Haley come on, wake up."
She slowly opened her eyes and saw the gang all around her.
"Woah get back!" She jumped up, "Just stay away all right, I still need time adjusting to this!"
"Adjusting to what?" Nathan asked.
Haley looked around at her surroundings. She was at the movies. She looked at her husband, and her friends. They were all normal! They looked the same.
"Oh my goodness! I'm back!"
"Sweetie, you never left." Brooke told her.
She stared at all of them, Brooke was back to being pretty, Peyton was thin, Nathan was manly, Jake wasn't to manly anymore, Lucas was back to his guy cloths, everyone was normal again!
"Oh wow you will never believe the dream I had." Haley started to tell them.
As she walked on, Lucas called out to her. "Haley watch out!"
She has just walked over the wet water, again! And fell over and felt her head get smacked on the wall.
"Owwwwwwwww." She groaned out loud.
"Wake up, wake up wake up!" she heard people yelling.
She opened her eyes and screamed.
She looked all of them once more and they were all in matching Red and White out fits with tap shoes on. She herself was in once as well.
"What now?" She whispered.
"You fell down sunshine. Okay now look at this, tell us if it looks or sounds off key." Peyton told her.
"Ready and go!" Lucas yelled.
We are the Tree Hill gangThree of us have a wang
Three couples, one dream
All together we are a team
Happy and Sweet
Were real big treats
Never fear
Lucas, Peyton, Jake, Brooke, Nathan, and Haley are here
We'll make you smile
We'll make you laugh
Because were so cool
At least one of us we'll make you drool
So sit right down
Gather around
To see the Tree Hill gang
Ba, Ba Bah!
They all smiled and looked at Haley as she laid her head back down and screamed;
"What the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk."