Branches snapping and the sound of grass being walked on could be heard as a blond haired man walked on a path along a mountain.
This blond haired man was none other than 18 year old Naruto Uzumaki.
An ordinary mage that wandered from place to place.
"Hmm, I think I took a wrong turn back over there," The blond haired boy spoke to himself as he continued walking, he then shrugged his shoulders while grinning, "Oh well, not like I got any specific place to be," he liked going to the unknown.
The blond haired mage continued walking, he enjoyed the silence, it was peaceful. He could hear himself humming as he continued walking, he took another turn alongside a different path, and he continued walking until he arrived to a cave.
Yes, a fucking cave.
As Naruto took another step, the ground begun to shake, and a large gust of wind came out of the cave and pushed the blond back three feet. "Oh, shit," the blonde muttered as he sensed something powerful walking out of the cage.
"WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY SLUMBER?!" Suddenly a dragon walked out of the cave, much to Naruto's surprise and shock. He couldn't help but gulp as he stared at the large-sized dragon looking down and glating at him.
"Haha, they went that way!" The blond quickly pointed towards a path to the opposite direction, "N-Now you go and uh... take revenge... while I uh go haha... there's this thing I have to do, yeah," the blond laughed sheepishly as he took a step away from the dragon.
The dragon roared, "TAKE ONE MORE STEP AND I KILL YOU, HUMAN!"
The blond stopped walking, "Hah, nevermind, I'll just schedule it for later," Naruto just gulped as he stared at the red colored dragon in front of him.
The dragon just stared back at Naruto in silence before the Uzumaki spoke, "So? If you're gonna-"
"SILENCE, HUMAN! IM LOOKING INSIDE YOUR HEAD!" The Dragon roared.
"Wot?" Naruto could only say, "My head?"
The Dragon nodded, "Yes, lil human, you see you're the first human to catch me chillin in my cave in 200 years, you must be powerful... so now I'm looking inside your head... seeing if you are worthy."
Naruto blinked, "Worthy?"
"Yes."
"Worthy of what, exactly?"
"WORTHY OF MY POWER YOU FOOL!" The dragon roared once again before saying, "So I'm done looking inside your head, I took the liberty of seeing each and every one of your memories... and..."
"And?" Naruto cocked an eyebrow.
The unnamed Dragon laughed at Naruto, "HAHAHA! YOU'RE BASIC AF! IN FACT, YOU'RE ONE BORING MOTHER FUCKER! You don't have an special abilities! Hell, you don't have no secret demotic powers up in this bitch, every main character be like half demon or they have some hidden demonic side they don't show until they mad as fuck, but you boi, you ain't shit!"
"That all?" Naruto blinked nonchalantly.
The dragon growled in irritation, "FOOL! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?! BOI, THEY BE AXING STORIES THAT HAVE ORDINARY, LAME CHARACTERS LIKE YOU! BOI, IN FACT YOUR BACK STORY LAME AS FUCK - YOUR PARENTS ARE STILL ALIVE, AND YOU HAD A HAPPY AS HELL CHILDHOOD! AIN'T NOBODY WANNA READ DAT BULLSHIT! PEEPS OUT THERE WANT THAT DARK "MY BIG BRO SLAUGHTERED MY ENTIRE CLAN, AND TOLD ME I WAS TOO WEAK TO KILL" TYPE OF BACKSTORY!" The dragon continued to roar.
"That just sounds so extra, I'm happy being ordinary," The blond shrugged his shoulders.
The dragon facepalm and spoke, "Nevermind that shit, you're lucky you bumped into me today, after seeing your memories... I've decided you are worthy of my power, I shall train you... I am the King of Dragons, that means I know a billion types of magic, and when we are done you should too shall know - WAIT WAIT ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!" The dragon stopped talking as he noticed the blond haired boy reading a manga.
"Bruh," Naruto spoke, "You had me at "training" I don't feel like going through a training arc, so pass, I'm pretty happy with my "explosion magic" the blond told the dragon.
The dragon facepalmed once again, "YOU FOOL! WITH MY POWER YOU'LL BE THE STRONGEST MAN ALIVE! YOU WON'T TAKE SHIT FROM NO ONE! FIORE'S MAGIC COUNCIL WILL BOW DOWN TO YOU - ALL WOMEN WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, EVERYONE WILL RESPECT AND LOVE YOU, AND THEY WILL DEPEND ON YOU, IN FACT, YOU'LL GO FROM HAVING AN ORDINARY SIZED COCK TO A MASSIVE DRAGON COCK, DON'T YOU WANT THAT?!"
"EH," Naruto shook his head, "That sounds boring... and like too much work, and I like my ordinary sized cock, ty very much," the blond finished saying.
"You're dumber than I thought. You have no future! Your story has no future! I should kill you right here and right now!" The dragon roared.
"Well, are you?" The blond asked.
The Dragon scowled, "No, I'm not... begone human, hopefully the next human that stumbled upon me, isn't as stupid as you-" the dragon stopped talking when he realized Naruto was nowhere in sight. Dammit.
The Dragon just looked ahead and thought, "I Know where his parents live hmm.. no where the village he grew up is.. hm... maybe I should fly over and kill and destroy the entire village... that'll make this fanfiction more interesting...hmm... nah, I'm too lazy for dis shit," The dragon walked back Into his cave to slumber for the next hundred years.
And our boy Naruto Uzumaki was off into the world, being da ordinary mage.
To be continued... probably not.
A/N: lolololol been a while, too long actually but fuck it. Had a day off from work today and I had this idea in my head for a while now. Actually it's most likely gonna be a chapter :) don't see this becoming a full length story - it was just meant to make fun of all the fics out there that follow the same concept lol they all make a big dick Naruto with special powers that makes all da women fall in love - but dis Naruto was like "nah fam" srsly while short I enjoyed this.
So yeh, hope some peeps enjoyed.
And regarding my other stories - dunno when I'll update them. Too lazy.
Peace.