Never Truly Gone
Becker stared at the road in front of him; both of his hands were resting on the steering wheel of his Volkswagen Scirocco. He had been driving for the past half an hour, and the military captain knew his destination was just up ahead, on the left.
He carried on driving through the wild Surrey countryside, his foot lightly pressing on the accelerator; until eventually, he slowed the black VW down and pulled over, parking at the side of the road.
Switching off the cars ignition, he leant back in his seat for a few moments; taking a small number of deep breathes. Once he had steadied his breathing, he slowly looked at the passenger seat and stared at the bunch of white lilies resting on the soft fabric. He gently placed his hand around the stems and picked them up, before looking out of the cars back window. Satisfied he wasn't going to get hit by another car; he opened the car door and slowly climbed out. The slight breeze of the outside world blew through his hair; the sun was setting in the evening sky, causing the most beautiful red and orange glow to fill the horizon.
He slowly walked away from his car, pressing a button on the key fob, which caused a small click and the lights to flash momentarily on his Scirocco. Sliding his keys in his jeans pocket; he then proceeded to walk down the pavement towards the gates that marked the entrance to his destination.
He slowed down his pace as he reached the large, elegantly crafted steel gates that were pushed open. Becker could feel his heartbeat increase inside his chest; so he gave himself a moment to compose himself, he then walked through the open gates, and followed the path in front of him.
Becker knew his way perfectly to the place he was going, having walked this same route once a week for the past eleven months, but as he got nearer to his final destination, he could feel his feet growing heavier, almost like he was trying to walk through a lake of mud. Willing himself to complete the few final yards; he eventually reached his destination.
This was the one place Captain Becker could come and completely be himself; the one place Captain Becker didn't have to keep his 'tough solider-boy' pretence. The one place Becker could admit the feelings he should have done.
Sarah Page's grave. Sarah Page's final resting place.
Becker slowly knelt down beside the white grave stone, tracing his fingers through the letters that had been carved into the smooth stone.
Sarah Alicia Page – July 6th 1981- February 12th2010
'Gone are the days we used to share, but in ours hearts, you'll always be there…'
'A beautiful daughter and a special friend. But most of all, a beautiful person, who will never be forgotten by those who loved her…'
Becker impatiently brushed the wetness away from his eyes and he removed the dying flowers that were sitting idly in the small stone bowl in front of the stone. He then placed the fresh lilies he had bought inside the bowl, arranging them so they were evenly spread.
Becker knew Sarah liked lilies. He knew they were her favorite kind of flower. Becker could remember, every time Becker visited Sarah's flat; be it to give her a lift to the ARC, or dropping her home after a tiring day, he would always see a vase of lilies resting the window sill.
"Hey you" Becker said quietly to the white stone in front of him, keeping his hand placed on the smooth surface. He looked around the empty graveyard; the only movements were that of the gently swaying trees that surrounded the large square graveyard.
"I bought you some new flowers, I hope you like them. Although, I suppose you're getting a bit sick of lilies aren't you, I'll bring something different next time" Becker said, running his hand over the curved surface of the stone.
"It was a quiet day at the ARC, nothing exciting happened. Except Connor released the Dracorex again, so we had a fun afternoon of chasing her through the ARC" Becker smiled slightly as he remembered the memory.
"It's not the same without you" Becker stated, he would tell Sarah this every time he came to see her. "We miss you. Even Lester, I caught him reading your personnel file the other day. He acts like he doesn't care, but he does, deep down" Becker continued, shifting his feet into a more comfortable position.
"I'm sorry Sarah, I'm so sorry. I know it wasn't my fault that you died; but I can't help feeling I let you down, that maybe if I had been looking after you like I was supposed to- you'd still be here today" Becker said, wiping away a tear that had fallen down his cheek. He took a deep breath before continuing.
"But it's not just that. There was so much I wanted to say to you, when you were alive. And I know you know now; but it was too late" he paused, looking away from the gravestone for the first time since he had arrived "its always to late" he mumbled under his breath.
"Always is with you, isn't it Becker" a voice said. Becker jumped and spun round so fast he felt his neck click.
"Who's there" he said, looking in front of him, all he could see was rows of gravestones, and a small tree; the branches blowing in the wind.
"Who do you think" the voice said, Becker recognized it straight away, but he wasn't exactly sure where from.
"Show yourself" Becker said, standing up slowly looking around in front of him. He then saw a figure move from behind the tree; he automatically moved his hand to the back of his trousers; were a handgun was normally sitting.
"Shit…" Becker mumbled under his breath.
"Language" the figure said, finally coming into view. Becker's mouth dropped open when the person came into view. He could not believe what he was seeing.
"It can't be" he whispered under his breath, taking a small step towards the figure, who was now bathed in the red glow of the sunset.
"All the things you've seen Becker at the ARC; and you think this can't be real" Sarah Page said, slowly walking towards him.
"But your…dead" Becker said, his mouth slightly open, dumbstruck at his dead colleague. He had seen her die; she had held her as she died in his arms. He had been to the funeral, he had-
"I know I am" Sarah said, slowly lifting up her top to show a large stitched-up wound running across her abdomen; Becker immediately knew it had been made by the Predator that had killed her.
"How can you be here…" Becker whispered to her, keeping his hands firmly at his side. Sarah slowly made her over to where the military captain was stood, before lifting her hand and placing it on Becker's cheek; he shivered at her touch.
"Your cold" he said, tears brimming in his eyes.
"I'm dead, its one of the many downsides" Sarah said, almost matter-of-factually. Becker lifted his own hand and placed it over Sarah's, before gently squeezing it.
"How…" Becker began, but was stopped as Sarah placed a finger on his lips. The two stood in silence for a moment, before Sarah broke it.
"I've been watching you" she began, looking Becker in the eyes "For the past eleven months, since the day I died" Sarah said, not looking away from Becker.
"It's not your fault Becker. I don't blame you for what happened to me, something's were meant to be, and this was one of them" Becker went to talk, but again, Sarah silenced him with a finger to the lip.
"You have to move on. Please. You can't keep dwelling on the past Becker; I may be dead, but you're alive, so, very alive. You're still breathing, still living" Sarah said, smiling slightly.
"You have to stop blaming yourself every time someone dies, when will you see that you can't save everyone Becker" Sarah continued, giving him a sad look.
"I always feel so guiltily" Becker said quietly, letting tears slide down his cheeks, Sarah slowly wiped them away before rubbing his cheek with her thumb.
""I know Becker; I know. But you have to stop, because it'll keep wearing you down until, well; it won't be good" Sarah said, giving Becker a look he remembered all too well.
"Its time to stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens; its time to move on Becker, not just for me, but you" Sarah said, smiling as Becker nodded slowly.
"Still come and visit me; you're the only one who does these days, but remember, I may be gone, but you'll find someone else. Someone who'll tell you they love before its too late" Sarah said, letting go of Becker's cheek and taking a step back.
"Wait…what do you mean Sarah" Becker said urgently, moving forward towards her.
"Exactly what I said Becker, and you can understand that" Sarah said sadly, looking Becker in the eye.
"I love you Sarah; I always did, and I always will" Becker said to her, his voice trembling slightly, he watched as Sarah nodded, before she stepped back again.
"I love you too Becker, I always did, and I always will" Sarah repeated, just as a golden light began to glow around her.
"Sarah, will I see you again" Becker asked hurriedly. He watched as Sarah smiled slightly.
"Maybe, maybe not. Who knows. But I'm always here, and I'll always be with you…" she said stepping forward and placing her hand on Becker's chest, over his heart.
She leant up and lightly kissed Becker's cheek before stepping back as the glow got brighter around her, Becker watched as Sarah disappeared into the golden light. Then the graveyard fell into darkness, the red glow of the sunset had almost faded; being replaced by the darkness of night. Becker turned to face the white headstone to the side him, he stood in the silence for a few moments; he couldn't really believe what had just happened before walking away from the grave. As he walked back towards his car, he looked up at the night sky; and it was then he saw one particular star, which was shimmering brighter than all the others. It was then Becker knew he would see Sarah again, one day. He then looked around; making sure no one was there.
"Sarah…" he whispered very quietly, not really sure what to expect.
"I'm here…" a voice replied, barely inaudible; but Becker knew who the voice belonged to, smiling slightly; he increased his pace, and left the graveyard. Somehow, Becker thought to himself, the people we love, that cant be here anymore, will always find a way back to us, eventually.