The Other Side of the Moon
Sometimes Touya Kinomoto truly hated to be right.
He had been feeling strangely upset since late afternoon, and with every passing hour his anxiety had only grown deeper. It had nothing to do with magical powers — it was simply intuition.
He let out an irritated sigh, and quickened his pace. Damn it. Of course, he knew well about his younger sister's night escapades — perhaps even better than she realized — and he trusted both her and her companions to take good care of themselves. Yet tonight — he had to honestly admit it — Sakura had clearly overdone it. The little monster had returned home not only completely exhausted, but injured as well. Judging from her bruises something had hit her with huge force, and it was a true miracle that she had no broken bones.
Touya winced at the very memory. To tell the truth, he could not remember when he had last felt so worried as when he had seen that Hong Kong brat enter their home with barely conscious Sakura in his arms. And he would never had thought that he would ever feel relieved at the sight of said brat.
Actually, it was thanks to him that Touya had been able to come here in the first place. Dad was currently in Mongolia, in charge of some superimportant excavation, and after giving it some thought Touya had decided not to inform him. He could handle the situation himself; after all he was also an adult now.
And so, though reluctantly, he had left Sakura with the brat, who had firmly refused to leave her side, even though he wasn't in his best shape himself, and was now trying to solve another serious problem.
He gritted his teeth. He had been so worried about his sister that at first he hadn't even thought about Yukito and if his alter ego had been a part of those unfortunate events. But then…
'Yue-san… Please, find him, Onii-chan… He…'
This was all Sakura had managed to tell him before she had fallen asleep, but enough for anxiety to clutch at his heart with a new strength. Apparently, there were more reasons to worry than he had expected…
He had tried asking the brat for details, but Li had been too tired and too concerned for Sakura to give him a coherent answer. That had left the freaking plush as Touya's only source of information, and somehow that hadn't been very encouraging.
This time, however, Kero had been serious for once. And what Touya had heard from him had only made his fears grow worse.
According to Kerberos' story, Sakura's group had felt some strange power coming from the wood behind the school and had gone to deal with it. The opponent, however, had turned out to be outrageously strong, and managed to hurt both Sakura and Yue, who had tried to protect her. They wouldn't have been able to take the foe down if not for Li's unexpected help.
And then, after everything had been over, Yue had simply left.
He's blaming himself, the plush had said, sounding really worried. Only Clow was able to reach him once he started to act like that…
Touya cursed inwardly. He was not Clow, and yet he definitely had to do something about the matter, the quicker, the better. But first — he had to find the moon guardian.
He bit his lip. It would be faster if he had taken the bike, but it was too dark, as it was the new moon tonight. Still, Touya had already checked most of the spots that seemed possible: Yukito's home, the vicinity of the school, the Tomoeda park, and there had been no sign of Yue anywhere.
Crap. What was that fool of a guardian thinking? Tsukimine shrine was the last place on Touya's list, and if Yue wasn't there…
But he was. Touya almost sighed with relief seeing the moon guardian standing by the dark, quiet pond; after a moment, however, this feeling gave way to worry. Yue's clothes were torn, his white hair disheveled, left wing tattered and apparently not of much use. Touya furrowed his brow. It seemed the plushie hadn't exaggerated in his story one bit. All the more reason to…
'It's time to go back, Yue,' he said quietly. 'Sakura's been dead worried about you.'
The guardian tensed visibly at the sound of his voice; Touya saw slender hands clench into fists. He sighed. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation.
'You… know what has happened?' Yue asked, obviously trying to sound indifferent, but Touya saw through it easily. Even without magic he could sense the aura of immense sadness and guilt surrounding the Yuki's other self.
'Kerberos has told me,' he admitted, stepping closer. The guardian nodded, but still didn't turn to face him. Touya waited.
'How is she?' came another question. This time strain was evident in Yue's words.
'Resting,' replied Touya truthfully. 'She will be fine.'
There was a moment of silence before the guardian spoke again, his voice little more than a whisper.
'I cannot face her now. It is my duty as her guardian to protect her and yet I failed to do so. I do not deserve her attention…'
'I don't think she sees it this way,' Touya interrupted. 'To her you aren't a servant but a friend. I'm sure you've come to understand it by now.'
Yue shook his head.
'I exist for the sake of the Card Master,' he said. 'This was why I first came to be, and such was also the wish of the one who has given me my current powers.'
Touya blinked in surprise upon hearing these words. Indeed, he had asked Yue to take care of Sakura as he was no longer able to sense the danger himself, but he had never meant it that way. Actually…
'It was a waste to give them to me,' the moon guardian continued before Touya had a chance to voice his thought. 'If I am unable to fulfill my duties then it would have been better if I had disappeared back then…'
'No, it wouldn't!' snapped Touya, taking another step forward and grabbing Yue's shoulder. The guardian flinched and turned to him, startled; his icy blue eyes alert. Touya took a deep breath, before stepping back. He got carried away a bit.
'It wouldn't,' he repeated, more calmly now. 'If you had, you would have only made her suffer more, both because of Yuki and you. And I didn't give you these powers because I wanted you to be her guardian. I did it because I didn't want you to fade away. And I still don't.'
Surprisingly enough, Yue looked away.
'I know,' he whispered, his tone too flat and too emotionless to be truly convincing. 'I know that I only exist because I happen to be the other self of the one dearest to you. There is no other reason for you to care about me, especially now…'
'It is not true.' Touya shook his head firmly. Apparently, the moon guardian got it all wrong. And who would have thought that he had such a low self esteem? 'It is not true, Yue. I do care for you. And not just because you are part of Yuki I have to tolerate.'
The guardian's eyes widened. He looked genuinely stunned.
'Why… Why then…?'
'It's because…' Touya closed his eyes for a moment. Suddenly it was hard to find the right words. 'It's because you are him.'
Yue blinked.
'I… do not understand.'
Touya sighed quietly. How should he explain something that for him was only natural?
Perhaps…
'The moon doesn't change its nature when it goes in another phase… It remains what it is, doesn't it?'
Yue nodded hesitantly, an intent look on his face. Touya went on.
'It is the same with you, Yue. I can't just draw the line between the two of you. No matter what form you take on, to me you are still the same. And what I feel doesn't change either.'
The guardian dropped his gaze.
'I… do not think I deserve it,' he said softly. He seemed so fragile now, almost like this doppelganger sprite from Sakura's card. Touya smiled at him.
'You're too strict for yourself,' he replied, touching the pale cheek. 'And you're much kinder than you wish to appear. Otherwise you wouldn't be so worried now.'
Yue's eyes darkened.
'I should have been able to do more to help her… I swear next time I…'
'Next time don't act this reckless,' Touya cut in, nodding towards the guardian's injured wing and shoulder. 'I'm only asking you to do what's in your might to protect her. I do not demand the impossible.'
'You mean I am weak.'
'That's not it.' Touya brushed a strand of hair away from Yue's face. 'I simply don't want you to get hurt. '
The moon guardian still didn't look convinced.
'Besides,' Touya let his smile widen, 'even Clow wasn't almighty, was he?'
Yue started upon hearing this, and for a moment Touya wondered if he had accidentally said something blasphemous. The warmth, however, that he saw in these pale blue eyes proved him wrong.
'You're as gentle as him,' Yue whispered after a while, raising his hand as if to touch Touya's face, but stopping in the last moment. 'As Clow-san.'
Touya blinked, suddenly touched. He would never expect such words, especially not from Yue.
'You think too highly of me,' he replied half-mockingly. The moon guardian gave him an almost indignant look.
'I do no-…' he tried to protest, but staggered all of a sudden. Touya instinctively reached out to support him.
'You're exhausted,' he noted worriedly, when Yue leaned on him heavily. 'We really should go back…'
He felt the moon guardian nod against his chest. He had to be really worn out.
'I shall apologize to you all for making you worry so much.'
Touya shook his head lightly, and stroked Yue's hair — a gesture he was used to with Yuki.
'You will do as you see fit,' he answered. ' But I doubt apologies will be necessary. Sakura will be most happy if she sees you recover. And we have already explained the matters to ourselves.'
Yue looked up at him, still somewhat hesitant, but finally he complied.
'I will take my leave then,' he whispered softly. Touya nodded, and let him out of his embrace.
The wings closed around Yue, and after a moment the moon guardian disappeared, leaving a much more familiar figure in his place.
Touya was there to catch him before Yukito fell to the ground. He was fast asleep, but didn't seem to be hurt in any way, except for a few bruises on his left arm. Yue must have taken most of the injury on himself to save Yuki pain.
Touya let out a quiet sigh. They were so alike, even if they didn't realize it. The moon truly didn't change its nature…
And one couldn't stop loving it just because the shape was different.
He smiled to himself, and gathered Yuki in his arms. It was time to head home.