BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE
Unrequited love is the most painful thing a person can suffer. There's no one who knows this better than me, for I've been in love with my best friend for ten years now. His name, Takahashi Takahiro.
When I fell for him, I can't remember. We've known each other for a very long time, so I don't know exactly when. The only thing I knew was that Takahiro was a very sweet, naïve person. Always concerned about others. His smile was always wide and honest, and it made his eyes twinkle. His laugh was so cheerful; it made me smile every time I heard it. I often wondered how he could laugh like that, given the fact that his parents died when he was 18 and he had to quit school in order to look after his little brother. How can he be so happy with such a hard life?
That, I didn't know. The only thing I knew when he told me this, was that I admired him. And I somehow had the sudden urge to protect him, to cherish that smile, that warmth that had managed to reach my once frosted heart. I could cherish him so he didn't know more sadness and hardship.
And along the way, that protectiveness and admiration transformed into love.
As I said before, I don't remember when I fell for him. But I remember when I realized this, when I knew that he had definitely reached my heart.
It was in April, ten years ago. I had known Takahiro for a few months now, and in that moment we were taking a walk and talking about things, sakura petals floating around us in the gentle breeze. In a certain moment of our conversation, Takahiro looked directly at me and smiled. I noticed myself freeze at that warm, gentle smile which brought that twinkle in his eyes. Surrounded by the Sakura petals, in that moment he looked gorgeous. And my heart was pounding in my chest.
That's when I realized that the warmth I always felt when I was with him was what everyone called love.
I know that these moments are always more dramatic...or at least, that's what I've read in books. You know, that thing of first trying to deny it and the coming to terms with it slowly. But in my case, I just realized it and accepted the fact. Because it felt natural. Because it felt right.
It was in that moment too when I knew that I would never tell him.
Takahiro was, as I said, naïve and sweet. He was also a very caring person, especially with his younger brother, which was his whole world. I have to admit that I felt jealous of that mystery boy I had never met, who had all of Takahiro's love. Why couldn't I be Takahiro's world instead? Why him? I knew they were selfish questions, but I couldn't help asking them.
Even though I already knew it was impossible.
Takahiro will always see me as a good friend, never as more. And because of his naiveté, he'll never notice my feelings for him. This, I also accepted it without a struggle. I would remain at his side, bearing this pain in my heart, just to treasure and cherish him. I'll be happy just to see him smile forever.
But that didn't stop me from shedding some tears that afternoon in my room. Tears for that love I'd just realized and was already pointless.
My life changed when I finally met the mysterious little brother.
He barged in while I was "playing" with Takahiro, and the shocked expression in his face nearly made me laugh. But that didn't stop me from noticing something.
"He's not similar to Takahiro"
And he wasn't. He had chocolate brown hair and emerald eyes, which in that moment held shock and a bit of anger, but none of the gentleness Takahiro's eyes always had. Also, he was an idiot. Not only academically (but really, how can the little brother of someone as intelligent as Takahiro be a Mr. "Idiot of level D"?), but also personally. Because, really, how could he dare to say that "as long as it was a man, anyone was ok for me? Takahiro was the only man I fell in love with! Don't underestimate me! He didn't understand...he couldn't possibly understand what I felt, what I was going through.
It seemed that annoying brat needed a lesson, that's why I did what I did.
But strangely, I...liked doing that to him. And the fact that he came too quickly was undeniable cute. But those thoughts were in my mind briefly, and I soon forgot about them.
I got to know him a bit better when he came down after we did "that". I explained a bit why my room was a toy paradise, and he began to talk about my childhood and the reason of my sexual orientation. I still wonder how did he know about all that... And the image of my mother with another man was indeed traumatizing...
Anyway, after that brief talk, I just knew one thing: there was no way I could get along with the brat.
'But for Takahiro, I'll have to endure it' I thought with a sigh.
"Anyway, what University do you want to go?" I asked.
"Mitsuhashi" He mumbled.
"Are you sleep talking?" I snorted. Because really, that kid had no opportunity to enter there. His exams showed that his level wasn't the one of a person who messed up with the formulas or the calculations, but of someone who just didn't understand the problem.
I suggested he chose another university, and his answer was this:
"No, it has to Mitsuhashi! If it isn't that, I won't go to University! I need to do this for niichan too!"
"Why did you mentioned Takahiro?" I asked, surprised. In that moment, his eyes got sad and he sat down to explain me the reason. While he was talking, I realized that I was very wrong about him. He wasn't an idiot, and he was definitely Takahiro's brother. Because Misaki also put other's happiness in front of his, and he was willing to make an effort just to repay his brother.
It was then when I decided.
"Okay, if it's like that, I'll definitely make you enter!" I told him "Don't worry, with the great Usami Akihiko as your teacher, you'll definitely enter Mitsuhashi!"
So that's how I became his personal tutor.
We spent some months at my house studying, and in that time my opinion of Takahashi Misaki was formed. He was hardworking, kind, responsible and stubborn. Also, he cooked delicious meals, as sometimes we got so immersed in what we were doing that he had to stay for lunch or dinner.
He also was very similar to Takahiro, that gentleness I thought he didn't have when I first saw him showing every now and then in his eyes. Before I knew it, I became really comfortable in his company, and when Misaki left for the day my house seemed somehow empty. Why, I couldn't know.
Then, the day when everything changed came.
I met Misaki in the street after hearing him scream something like "I'm not gay".
Wait a moment, that's not how he said it.
"I'M NOT GAYYYY!"
There, that's much better.
Anyway, after telling him that we'd be going home together because I bought a cake for Takahiro's birthday, he showed me the results he obtained that day. And they were really good. I couldn't help but ruffle his hair and smile at him, praising him for his good job. And strangely, I didn't think about Takahiro's smile while doing it. I was honestly happy for Misaki.
But why?
"Happy birthday!"
Takahiro's surprised and smiling face made me feel warmth in my chest, as always, but lately it hadn't been as strong as it usually was. Again, "why?" was the question.
"Niichan, you forgot to close the door!" Misaki said with a sigh, going to close it.
"Oh, that's right!" Takahiro exclaimed, going toward the door and dragging me with him (I was hugging his neck, as always). When we got there, I saw a woman that I instantly recognized as Takahiro's girlfriend.
"This is Kajiwara Manami" He introduced "We're going to get married"
Crack. My heart broke painfully when I heard that. I know I said that I was happy if he was happy, but I couldn't help the pain. I wanted so much to cry, to hit that damn woman who dared to steal my Takahiro...
Instead, I smiled and said that I was happy for him, and praised his decision.
"I'm glad you approve" Takahiro said, smiling "That's why I wanted to introduce her to you first"
Before I could hear the noise of the remains of my heart exploding, there was a loud bang on the wall. We all turned to see Misaki with his head bent down, chocolate bangs covering his eyes.
"...more"
"What?" Takahiro asked.
"We're out of champagne; I'll go and buy more!" Misaki said.
"But they won't sell it to a minor!"
"Usagi-san, come with me!" And with that, he dragged me outside until we were a few streets far from his house.
Then, he started to cry.
"I'm sorry" He sobbed.
"Why are you apologizing?" I asked.
"Because that was so cruel. You've been in love with niichan for a long time, and he's never noticed! And now, he's getting married and saying that he wanted you to be the first to know her! Niichan was so insensitive!" He said, tears falling faster "This is the first time I've wanted to hit him..."
I stood there, shocked. I thought that I hid my pain well; I thought no one had noticed how the news had affected me. But this kid that I've only known for a few months had seen through my mask, and was even crying for something that he shouldn't care about. He was crying...for me. No one had ever done that, no one have ever understand me like he did.
And as if those tears had healing magic on them, the broken pieces of my heart began to get together, forming a new heart which had just one name on it: Takahashi Misaki.
"That's why you're getting all ugly crying?" I asked gently.
"Shut up!" He sobbed "When I start crying I can't stop!"
I really hated seeing him crying, so I did the only thing I could think about: I kissed him.
"They've stop" I said when my lips released his. Misaki could only look at me in shock, and I hugged him, leaning my head on his shoulder.
"I've never cried in front of anyone since I was born" I whispered "Never. Except from you. You're the first and only one I'd ever let seeing me like this" And I let my tears flow, releasing ten years of unrequited love, sadness, longing and anger. I needed to do that, to let free all the emotions I've kept bottled up all that time. Because letting them free meant making them disappear. And I wanted them to go, so I could start again with a new love.
Takahiro got married, and went to Osaka with his new wife. That's why Misaki started living with me. And for that, I consider myself the luckiest man ever, because living with Misaki meant a huge world of possibilities to seduce him.
Yes, seduce him. Because this time I won't make the same mistake. I won't give up trying to conquer my love, I won't remain impassive. This time, I'll fight to make him feel the same, to know that he loves me like I love him.
Because when I saw him crying for me, there was just one sentence in my mind that echoed in my heart and soul:
He's the one.
Yes, he's definitely the one. That's why you, Takahashi Misaki, will be mine. I'll make your heart burst into flames, I'll occupy all of your mind, until I'm the only thing left. I'll make you love me, even if I have to do it with you kicking and screaming all the way.
Because you're the one. And I'll never let you go.
Never. (*Evil smirk*)
So, here it is. My first story in this fandom. Did you like it? Please, R&R! :)
