Title: The Nancy Tribe
Author: his_luv_pet
Series: BtVS
Part: 1/?
Rating: PG-13 to R
Codes: R/J Amnesia!Verse
Summary: Where do we go from here? Literally, how to stay in the Amnesia!Verse without totally blowing the plotline to hell. We already know we have to suspend disbelief, now don't we? After that, the Adventures of Randy & Joan & the rest of the Nancy Tribe.
Spoilers: Tabula Rasa -- *Really* AU after that!
Disclaimer: [Insert obligatory funny disclaimer, homage to Joss, and unworthiness statement here.]
Feedback: Tell me -- his_luv_pet@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/his_luv_pet
Posting: Let me know...then sure!
A/N: This is for S/B'ers who just love the Randy/Joan Amnesia!Verse. I have taken this idea and am running with it as far and as fast as I can! "Ready, Randy?" "Ready, Joan!"
***
Joan felt great. She bashed another vampire with her fist, and he flew back on his ass. She brought up her stake and slammed it into his chest. Poof - fertilizer for the lawn. She grinned and glanced over at Randy. It was weird, but looking at his vamp-face didn't freak her out anymore; it just sort of felt familiar, comfortable even. She turned back to the vamp that was running at her from her left. No more Randy-gazing just now, Joan, she muttered to herself.
Randy dusted the third vamp to attack him that night with little trouble. In fact, he felt terrific! This whole vampire thing sure had its high points. He felt so strong and energized by the fight. He glanced over to where Joan was whaling the tar out of one rather large vamp. She looked so small next to the enormous bloke. He thought a moment about going over to help her, absently staking the vamp who came up on his right without even looking. He decided against going over to her. She was holding her own, and knowing her, well, knowing her as much as he did, he figured that she wouldn't appreciate it much. No, Joan would do on her own, most times anyway, he thought. But, it was so much fun to watch her. She was so cute, too. He turned and sighed a bit as the next Einstein came at him so fast that all he had to do was hold up his stake and the bloody idiot impaled himself on it. There seemed to be an unlimited supply of said idiots, so the fight went on.
***
Alex peered around the corner and looked into yet another culvert. It didn't look any more appetizing that the last two, but it appeared to be relatively clear of debris and there was no lock on the grid in front of it. He gestured to Tara, who tapped Willow on her shoulder. Dawn was holding Tara's hand, and the three of them came up to where Alex had opened the grid on the culvert.
Alex felt the fear rising in him again. He suppressed it, barely, wondering if he really was such a pansy. Somehow, it didn't feel right; he wasn't such a jerk...was he? He concentrated on getting everyone back from the grid, shutting it, and making sure they were as quiet at possible. He had no clue what else to do, as he was certainly no superhero if the trembling he felt in his hands was any indication. Just then, he felt a warm hand grasp his cold, clammy one. He glanced up and saw Dawn had grabbed his hand, making the link between him and Tara. He smiled, a little lopsided; she gave a small smile back and breathed deeply. He knew how she felt. Alex looked at Willow, held up his other hand, and raised his eyebrows in unspoken question. Willow immediately responded by grasping his free hand and grabbing Tara's with the other. The circle was complete and suddenly Alex felt much safer.
Willow felt puzzled. There was such a feeling of power in the linking of their hands. She looked over at Tara and felt the power surge in her. Somehow, she knew that Tara and her were connected in a deep way; she could feel it within her very being. But, there was also a sense of worry/fear within her with regard to Tara. It was like she knew that if something happened, she would lose Tara, possibly forever. She just didn't know what that thing was. With all of her being, Willow wished that whatever that something was, that it would never happen, that it never existed, and that now was the only reality that would be for them. Compelled by something she couldn't explain or even fully understood, she said in a fierce undertone, "Utinam fabulam tabula rasa veritas." Suddenly, she felt a fierce heat on her side. She looked down and a strange glow appeared from a small pocket of her shirt, then it was gone. Willow felt slightly disoriented and looked up at the others. They were blinking and shaking their heads a bit, but seemed to be fine.
***
Anya cringed as the demon bunnies seemed to slither even closer to her. "Rupert," she yelled. "Do something!" She continued to clutch the unhelpful spell book to her chest as she precariously perched on top of the table.
"I'm doing my best, dear," called Rupert as he parried yet another thrust from the skeleton that had been animated by Anya's last attempt to solve their problems with a spell. Suddenly, he felt slightly disoriented, blinked in rapid succession, barely missed getting his head lopped on by the skeleton, recovered, found new strength and managed to shatter it by two rapid slashing blows. The bones turned into dust, which then melted away. He propped his sword next to the counter, took out his handkerchief and wiped both his forehead and his glasses. As he polished, he called over, "Are you all right, Anya?"
"Oh, I'm just fine," Anya replied, shaking her own head as if to clear it. "Just having lots of fun looking at these delightful Leporidae Malus, *dear*." Her tone could have sliced granite.
"Hmm, well, yes," Rupert mumbled and made his way to another stack of books. He plucked on at random and looked for spell reversal in the index. "Ah, page 435," he noted with distinct pleasure. *He* didn't do the magic part of the shop; he had his books, where the answers always were. "Here's one that should do it, dear," he looked up happily. "Recessus magus!" he declared with pride. Instantly, the bunnies were gone and the green gloom vaporized.
"Oh, thank God," Anya sighed and slammed her book shut. She looked at the title, "What was I thinking? This is a magician's conjuring book. I'm not going to Vegas...ack!"
"Well, dear, I can only think that you must have picked up the wrong one by mistake and the appearance of the, uh...you know what's, caused you to become disoriented?" Rupert noted tactfully as he helped Anya down from the table.
"Good thinking, Rupert," Anya cooed at her fiancé, steel beneath the loving tone. Rupert smiled back vaguely. All was right in the magic shop. Now they just had to clean up the mess.
***
The vamp had found them, and the sense of peace and safety had evaporated as if it had never been. They struggled to get away, and Alex found something inside himself to try to head the vampire off and keep the others safe. Willow and Tara made it over to the side of the tunnel, but got tangled up in each other and fell down. Dawn had the presence of mind to pull a piece of wood off an old packing crate and yelled, "Alex" and threw it at him. Just as the vamp came in for the kill, he caught it and staked the bastard.
"Are you OK, Alex?" Dawn panted slightly as she crossed over to where Alex was sitting on the ground.
"Yeah, just taking five," Alex smiled up at the teenager. "Quick thinking there, Dawnster. This superhero gig must run in your family." Dawn blushed happily and leaned over to give Alex a hand up.
"Are you two all right?" Alex called over to Willow and Tara, who appeared to only have eyes for each other.
"Umm, fine," "Sure, great," were the two replies as they struggled to get up from the tangle of their limbs.
Dawn grinned at Alex, who smiled back and sighed. "Knew it was too good to be true that she could be my girlfriend. I just don't have that kind of luck." He was slightly taken aback. "Well, I think I don't anyway. This is too confusing for my brain."
"Why don't we head back to the magic shop and find out what Rupert and Anya have found out?" Tara said smiling gently.
"Sounds good to me," Alex replied and looked at Willow and Dawn, who nodded their agreement. They started back up the tunnel to the shop, keeping a sharp lookout for vamps.
***
Joan was just getting ready to dust the last vamp when a feeling of disorientation hit her hard. As a result, the vamp was able hit her hard enough to knock her down. As she rolled over the lawn, she struggled to clear her head from the pain and the strange feeling.
Randy felt like he was having an attack of vertigo. The concern over this feeling disappeared almost instantaneously as he saw Joan go down. "Joan," he yelled in alarm. He felt fear and rage rise up in him. *No one* hurt his Joan. He dispatched his opponent with a snapping twist of his neck, running through the dust before it settled. He reached Joan as the vamp was bending over her. Never pausing a second, Randy pulled yet another stake from his pocket and thrust it through the vamp's back, dusting Joan in the process.
"Euww, ick. Vamp dust," Joan spat dust from her mouth. "I don't even want to think where he's been."
"You all right, luv?" Randy asked gently, holding out his hand to help her up.
Joan smiled and grabbed his hand, "Oh, yeah, feeling so fine. Vamp dust in my mouth and hair, ripped my new duster, and Randy the Supervamp had to save my ass." She jumped up with a little bounce and grinned at him good-naturedly.
"Oh, well, if that's all then," Randy nodded, then looked at her sideways, noting that she retained the hold on his hand. They started walking back toward the Magic Box.
"I'm hungry," Joan said suddenly as they were strolling. She couldn't remember the last time she ate.
"I could eat," Randy replied.
"Not me," Joan said shaking her head.
"Never you, luv," Randy assured her, then yelped as she whacked him on the head with her other hand. "Ouch, bloody hell, woman! Whad'ja do that for?"
"Just to keep you in line, Vamp-Boy," she looked directly at him. "No eating of peoples, remember?"
"Didn't say I wanted a people," he fumed at her, rubbing his head with his free hand as the other was still holding Joan's hand. "Was thinking more along the line of...well, chicken wings. Yeah, that sounds really good."
"I don't know where were gonna get chicken wings at oh-dark-thirty in the morning," Joan said shaking her head.
"Pint 'o blood would go down nicely now, too," Randy observed, giving Joan a quick sliding look to see how she'd react. She didn't seem phased a bit. His undead heart skipped a beat.
"Well, I guess we should look for some back at the magic shop. See if your dad's got some there," she said as they started walking again. Vampires, blood, ick, but not really ick...sorta normal she felt. Very wiggy.
"Sounds good to me," Randy replied. He yawned and looked up at the sky. "Getting lighter, best be moving along. As I recall, sunlight is not good for vampires, even ones with souls and on the side of good and all that."
"You never shut up about that, do you?" Joan whined a little. Well, she *was* tired.
"Seems to me, I'm on a mission, I should give my mission statement," Randy explained.
"I've already heard your mission statement, Mr. Giles," Joan mumbled, now very tired instead of hungry. "So not wanting to hear it again."
Randy looked at Joan and noticed she was really tired. Vampire or no, he was feeling a little tired himself. All the excitement had worn off and the walk back to the shop seemed endless. He slipped his arm about her waist and supported her a little. "Almost there, luv," he murmured in her ear.
"Mmmmm," was all she said.
She fit just right into his shoulder and they walked on for a few more minutes. Just as the sky started getting a bit too rosy for comfort, they came to the magic shop and knocked on the door. Rupert let them in, exclaiming on their appearance. Both of them were too tired to do more than mumble that the vampires had been taken care of. Anya came over and directed them to the back room she had discovered earlier, and the two of them collapsed on some mats, curled up in each other's arms.
Rupert seemed a little taken aback and Anya shushed him. "Let them rest," she said in a low voice after hunting up an afghan from a cupboard and laying it over them. "You can ask her intentions later."
"Damn right I'm going to ask her intentions," Rupert sniffed. "I'm not so sure I want my son going around with a superhero who kills vampires."
"Well, it appears that they do go around together already," Anya pointed out their intertwined bodies.
Rupert sighed and shook his head. "I just wish all of this would come a little clearer. Not knowing some things is very confusing. Although," he paused and his thoughts wrinkled his brow. "This sense of vagueness seems awfully familiar."
"It'll come back to you," Anya patted his shoulder sympathetically. They heard noise in the front of the shop. The others were back.
End Part 1
Author: his_luv_pet
Series: BtVS
Part: 1/?
Rating: PG-13 to R
Codes: R/J Amnesia!Verse
Summary: Where do we go from here? Literally, how to stay in the Amnesia!Verse without totally blowing the plotline to hell. We already know we have to suspend disbelief, now don't we? After that, the Adventures of Randy & Joan & the rest of the Nancy Tribe.
Spoilers: Tabula Rasa -- *Really* AU after that!
Disclaimer: [Insert obligatory funny disclaimer, homage to Joss, and unworthiness statement here.]
Feedback: Tell me -- his_luv_pet@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/his_luv_pet
Posting: Let me know...then sure!
A/N: This is for S/B'ers who just love the Randy/Joan Amnesia!Verse. I have taken this idea and am running with it as far and as fast as I can! "Ready, Randy?" "Ready, Joan!"
***
Joan felt great. She bashed another vampire with her fist, and he flew back on his ass. She brought up her stake and slammed it into his chest. Poof - fertilizer for the lawn. She grinned and glanced over at Randy. It was weird, but looking at his vamp-face didn't freak her out anymore; it just sort of felt familiar, comfortable even. She turned back to the vamp that was running at her from her left. No more Randy-gazing just now, Joan, she muttered to herself.
Randy dusted the third vamp to attack him that night with little trouble. In fact, he felt terrific! This whole vampire thing sure had its high points. He felt so strong and energized by the fight. He glanced over to where Joan was whaling the tar out of one rather large vamp. She looked so small next to the enormous bloke. He thought a moment about going over to help her, absently staking the vamp who came up on his right without even looking. He decided against going over to her. She was holding her own, and knowing her, well, knowing her as much as he did, he figured that she wouldn't appreciate it much. No, Joan would do on her own, most times anyway, he thought. But, it was so much fun to watch her. She was so cute, too. He turned and sighed a bit as the next Einstein came at him so fast that all he had to do was hold up his stake and the bloody idiot impaled himself on it. There seemed to be an unlimited supply of said idiots, so the fight went on.
***
Alex peered around the corner and looked into yet another culvert. It didn't look any more appetizing that the last two, but it appeared to be relatively clear of debris and there was no lock on the grid in front of it. He gestured to Tara, who tapped Willow on her shoulder. Dawn was holding Tara's hand, and the three of them came up to where Alex had opened the grid on the culvert.
Alex felt the fear rising in him again. He suppressed it, barely, wondering if he really was such a pansy. Somehow, it didn't feel right; he wasn't such a jerk...was he? He concentrated on getting everyone back from the grid, shutting it, and making sure they were as quiet at possible. He had no clue what else to do, as he was certainly no superhero if the trembling he felt in his hands was any indication. Just then, he felt a warm hand grasp his cold, clammy one. He glanced up and saw Dawn had grabbed his hand, making the link between him and Tara. He smiled, a little lopsided; she gave a small smile back and breathed deeply. He knew how she felt. Alex looked at Willow, held up his other hand, and raised his eyebrows in unspoken question. Willow immediately responded by grasping his free hand and grabbing Tara's with the other. The circle was complete and suddenly Alex felt much safer.
Willow felt puzzled. There was such a feeling of power in the linking of their hands. She looked over at Tara and felt the power surge in her. Somehow, she knew that Tara and her were connected in a deep way; she could feel it within her very being. But, there was also a sense of worry/fear within her with regard to Tara. It was like she knew that if something happened, she would lose Tara, possibly forever. She just didn't know what that thing was. With all of her being, Willow wished that whatever that something was, that it would never happen, that it never existed, and that now was the only reality that would be for them. Compelled by something she couldn't explain or even fully understood, she said in a fierce undertone, "Utinam fabulam tabula rasa veritas." Suddenly, she felt a fierce heat on her side. She looked down and a strange glow appeared from a small pocket of her shirt, then it was gone. Willow felt slightly disoriented and looked up at the others. They were blinking and shaking their heads a bit, but seemed to be fine.
***
Anya cringed as the demon bunnies seemed to slither even closer to her. "Rupert," she yelled. "Do something!" She continued to clutch the unhelpful spell book to her chest as she precariously perched on top of the table.
"I'm doing my best, dear," called Rupert as he parried yet another thrust from the skeleton that had been animated by Anya's last attempt to solve their problems with a spell. Suddenly, he felt slightly disoriented, blinked in rapid succession, barely missed getting his head lopped on by the skeleton, recovered, found new strength and managed to shatter it by two rapid slashing blows. The bones turned into dust, which then melted away. He propped his sword next to the counter, took out his handkerchief and wiped both his forehead and his glasses. As he polished, he called over, "Are you all right, Anya?"
"Oh, I'm just fine," Anya replied, shaking her own head as if to clear it. "Just having lots of fun looking at these delightful Leporidae Malus, *dear*." Her tone could have sliced granite.
"Hmm, well, yes," Rupert mumbled and made his way to another stack of books. He plucked on at random and looked for spell reversal in the index. "Ah, page 435," he noted with distinct pleasure. *He* didn't do the magic part of the shop; he had his books, where the answers always were. "Here's one that should do it, dear," he looked up happily. "Recessus magus!" he declared with pride. Instantly, the bunnies were gone and the green gloom vaporized.
"Oh, thank God," Anya sighed and slammed her book shut. She looked at the title, "What was I thinking? This is a magician's conjuring book. I'm not going to Vegas...ack!"
"Well, dear, I can only think that you must have picked up the wrong one by mistake and the appearance of the, uh...you know what's, caused you to become disoriented?" Rupert noted tactfully as he helped Anya down from the table.
"Good thinking, Rupert," Anya cooed at her fiancé, steel beneath the loving tone. Rupert smiled back vaguely. All was right in the magic shop. Now they just had to clean up the mess.
***
The vamp had found them, and the sense of peace and safety had evaporated as if it had never been. They struggled to get away, and Alex found something inside himself to try to head the vampire off and keep the others safe. Willow and Tara made it over to the side of the tunnel, but got tangled up in each other and fell down. Dawn had the presence of mind to pull a piece of wood off an old packing crate and yelled, "Alex" and threw it at him. Just as the vamp came in for the kill, he caught it and staked the bastard.
"Are you OK, Alex?" Dawn panted slightly as she crossed over to where Alex was sitting on the ground.
"Yeah, just taking five," Alex smiled up at the teenager. "Quick thinking there, Dawnster. This superhero gig must run in your family." Dawn blushed happily and leaned over to give Alex a hand up.
"Are you two all right?" Alex called over to Willow and Tara, who appeared to only have eyes for each other.
"Umm, fine," "Sure, great," were the two replies as they struggled to get up from the tangle of their limbs.
Dawn grinned at Alex, who smiled back and sighed. "Knew it was too good to be true that she could be my girlfriend. I just don't have that kind of luck." He was slightly taken aback. "Well, I think I don't anyway. This is too confusing for my brain."
"Why don't we head back to the magic shop and find out what Rupert and Anya have found out?" Tara said smiling gently.
"Sounds good to me," Alex replied and looked at Willow and Dawn, who nodded their agreement. They started back up the tunnel to the shop, keeping a sharp lookout for vamps.
***
Joan was just getting ready to dust the last vamp when a feeling of disorientation hit her hard. As a result, the vamp was able hit her hard enough to knock her down. As she rolled over the lawn, she struggled to clear her head from the pain and the strange feeling.
Randy felt like he was having an attack of vertigo. The concern over this feeling disappeared almost instantaneously as he saw Joan go down. "Joan," he yelled in alarm. He felt fear and rage rise up in him. *No one* hurt his Joan. He dispatched his opponent with a snapping twist of his neck, running through the dust before it settled. He reached Joan as the vamp was bending over her. Never pausing a second, Randy pulled yet another stake from his pocket and thrust it through the vamp's back, dusting Joan in the process.
"Euww, ick. Vamp dust," Joan spat dust from her mouth. "I don't even want to think where he's been."
"You all right, luv?" Randy asked gently, holding out his hand to help her up.
Joan smiled and grabbed his hand, "Oh, yeah, feeling so fine. Vamp dust in my mouth and hair, ripped my new duster, and Randy the Supervamp had to save my ass." She jumped up with a little bounce and grinned at him good-naturedly.
"Oh, well, if that's all then," Randy nodded, then looked at her sideways, noting that she retained the hold on his hand. They started walking back toward the Magic Box.
"I'm hungry," Joan said suddenly as they were strolling. She couldn't remember the last time she ate.
"I could eat," Randy replied.
"Not me," Joan said shaking her head.
"Never you, luv," Randy assured her, then yelped as she whacked him on the head with her other hand. "Ouch, bloody hell, woman! Whad'ja do that for?"
"Just to keep you in line, Vamp-Boy," she looked directly at him. "No eating of peoples, remember?"
"Didn't say I wanted a people," he fumed at her, rubbing his head with his free hand as the other was still holding Joan's hand. "Was thinking more along the line of...well, chicken wings. Yeah, that sounds really good."
"I don't know where were gonna get chicken wings at oh-dark-thirty in the morning," Joan said shaking her head.
"Pint 'o blood would go down nicely now, too," Randy observed, giving Joan a quick sliding look to see how she'd react. She didn't seem phased a bit. His undead heart skipped a beat.
"Well, I guess we should look for some back at the magic shop. See if your dad's got some there," she said as they started walking again. Vampires, blood, ick, but not really ick...sorta normal she felt. Very wiggy.
"Sounds good to me," Randy replied. He yawned and looked up at the sky. "Getting lighter, best be moving along. As I recall, sunlight is not good for vampires, even ones with souls and on the side of good and all that."
"You never shut up about that, do you?" Joan whined a little. Well, she *was* tired.
"Seems to me, I'm on a mission, I should give my mission statement," Randy explained.
"I've already heard your mission statement, Mr. Giles," Joan mumbled, now very tired instead of hungry. "So not wanting to hear it again."
Randy looked at Joan and noticed she was really tired. Vampire or no, he was feeling a little tired himself. All the excitement had worn off and the walk back to the shop seemed endless. He slipped his arm about her waist and supported her a little. "Almost there, luv," he murmured in her ear.
"Mmmmm," was all she said.
She fit just right into his shoulder and they walked on for a few more minutes. Just as the sky started getting a bit too rosy for comfort, they came to the magic shop and knocked on the door. Rupert let them in, exclaiming on their appearance. Both of them were too tired to do more than mumble that the vampires had been taken care of. Anya came over and directed them to the back room she had discovered earlier, and the two of them collapsed on some mats, curled up in each other's arms.
Rupert seemed a little taken aback and Anya shushed him. "Let them rest," she said in a low voice after hunting up an afghan from a cupboard and laying it over them. "You can ask her intentions later."
"Damn right I'm going to ask her intentions," Rupert sniffed. "I'm not so sure I want my son going around with a superhero who kills vampires."
"Well, it appears that they do go around together already," Anya pointed out their intertwined bodies.
Rupert sighed and shook his head. "I just wish all of this would come a little clearer. Not knowing some things is very confusing. Although," he paused and his thoughts wrinkled his brow. "This sense of vagueness seems awfully familiar."
"It'll come back to you," Anya patted his shoulder sympathetically. They heard noise in the front of the shop. The others were back.
End Part 1