We all know this is what really happens.

Steven Moffat, the Doctor Who show runner, gave the computer his trademark smirk as he leaned back in his chair.

All he had to do was hit send and Amy would be dead. Rory too, he supposed, but the man killed him so often, he really didn't care about Rory's fate.

He gave Amelia a nice monologue. Very angst, and full of words that meant nothing to him. Then the Doctor's rage and fury when his companion would be so bold as to choose her own fate.

And the viewers! Ah, they would love this. They would swarm to social media, with all their knickers in a twist, expressing emotions of hurt and anger.

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. But it was a special knock, with nails dragging down the door.

He poured tea as his visitor sat down and grabbed his cup.

Moffat looked up and smiled.

Satan merely raised his eyebrow.

"Really, Moffat, another character death? Is it that boy again?"

"Well, yes, but this time, it also includes a character everybody loves. Tears will be abundant."

Satan nodded and leaned back. "This will be wonderful. I can't wait to hear all those screams!"

"Well, then you can do the honors." Moffat said, gesturing to the keyboard.

Satan gave an evil grin as he slowly reached one long, red fingernail towards the board. After a few tense moments, he tapped it.

Your message has been sent. Have a lovely day!

The pair broke into peals of insane laughter, so loud that Moffat's' half-deaf secretary left the wing in alarm.

She tapped the director on the shoulder.

"Sir? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I believe a character had just died."

The director's face darkened. "No..."

Back in the office, Satan held out his cup to Moffat.

"To our great success." he declared.

"Cheers!" They both yelled, slamming their cups together.

They had just finished when there was a loud banging on the office door.

Moffat rolled his eyes. "That would most likely be the director, here to huff and puff at me like the Big, Bad Wolf."

He clapped Satan on the shoulder. "You'd best be off, old friend."

Satan nodded sadly. "I'll be back for after the showing." he promised. "We'll go on the Internet together. But this time, I want Twitter!"

"Very well." Moffat nodded. "I'll do Tumblr."

Satan disappeared in a puff of smoke, while Moffat headed to the door, smiling at the sound of:

"MOFFAT!"

It's True, Ladies and Gents.

Sorry.

But you knew it was coming.

-Aria