Author: Sunriserooftops
Title: If I die young
Rating: M for death and blood/gore
Status: Complete
Fandom: Supernatural and Southern Vampire Mysteries/True Blood
Spoilers: All through SVM for safety, nothing of SPN
Disclaimer: I own nothing; SVM/TB and SPN belong to their respective owners. The song is If I die young by The Band Perry. I don't own that either.
Summary: It's most painful moment of his life.
If I die young;
Bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a bed of roses,
Sink me in the river at dawn,
Send me away with the words of a love song.
oo
Alcide is angry. He's angry because as he's looking into the wonderful eyes of the woman he has grown to love, he's also watching the life drain right out of her. He's angry because there is nothing he can do but watch, watch as Jo is slipping away from him. She's fighting it so hard, but like she said, her intestines are held in by an ace bandage and no matter how much he wished that he could help, that he could turn her into a were and save her life, he can't.
But he can. Eric Northman, leaning in the corner with his blue eyes glued to Jo's fragile body as Sookie is whimpering in the corner, he can save her but he is just sitting there. Alcide knows she wouldn't be the same and in his own selfish way he doesn't want her to be a bloodsucker, he doesn't want her to turn because then she would be one of the things he hates. He loves her too much to see her turn, he would rather die grieving her than have her wake up as a vampire.
But he tried not to focus on the things that seem to be out of question, instead he's stoking her hand and talking to her. Her eyes are pained as they focus on him and then drift away, she seems a million miles away one second and the other she is right there with him again.
He is trying to make her smile, but she's fading, she's fading too fast and he's even angrier that his time with her is running out too quickly. But his anger isn't directed at anyone, at anything, not really, he's just angry. His muscles are trembling; he's trying hard not to shift as the anger rolls through him. But Jo's fragile hand in his own is what's keeping him grounded.
She looks at him and there are no tears in her eyes, there's just the watery glaze of someone about to die, someone in so much pain there is nothing left to do but slip into the darkness and despite knowing he should let her go, he tells her not to give up, he tells her she wouldn't dare to leave him, not yet. It's too soon.
She leans her head against his shoulder, and he hears the door to Fangtasia open. Behind him he hears the familiar voices of the Winchesters, Dean raging while Sam is trying to keep calm. Eric still hasn't said a word since the incident, and Sookie is still whimpering over the gooey pile that used to be Bill Compton. Alcide would gladly had put a stake through him himself, but Eric had beaten him too it and instead he could focus on keeping Jo away from it all.
The amount of times he replays the moment in his head while he is holding her, feeling her breathing slow, he decides he could have saved her. But deep inside, he knows it's all a lie. And it's a lie that it going to eat him up inside. That's exactly what he's looking for.
"Jo," he whispers and she opens her eyes, one last time, and he smiles at her. "Everything is going to be okay. I'll be right behind you," he vows and she starts crying. Instead of fighting with him – like she would have if she wasn't dying – she pulls him closer, and kisses him. He knows it's supposed to tell him that he has too much left to live for. But she has no idea what she has done to his soul, its messed up and broken now that she's dying and he doesn't want to live like that. "I love you," he tells her, his large hands gripping her jaw and she nods, all the while her tears freely flowing down her cheeks.
He's watching from three paces away as Dean and Sam say their goodbyes, and finally Eric offers to turn her. She shakes her head, telling him thanks, but no thanks. Alcide smiles when he realizes she's trying to tell them Ellen would have her ass if she even tried to pull a stunt like that. She looks up at him with eyes so large he knows it's close.
"I love you," she whimpers, and he sits down next to her, her head on his shoulder again. He puts an arm around her, leans his head against hers like their first night together, and when he feels her eyelashes flutter against his neck, her eyes closing, he knows they won't open again.
Slowly she stops breathing, her hand squeezing his going limp in and silently he start to cry. He's very well aware of the audience, and he wants to slap Sookie for still crying about Bill when Jo – her friend Jo who was trying to save her life by stepping in Bill's way – has just died. Mourning a vampire seems wrong when there is no more Jo.
Nothing compares to the pain he's feeling as he's holding her. Not losing his father, Maria Star or anything else he's gone through. This pain is so much larger, it's making him feel raw inside, it's making him feel hollow. It's the darkest moment of Alcide Herveaux's life; when Jo Harvelle, his love of three years, passes on.