DISCLAIMER: If I owned Naruto, this wouldn't be fanfiction... At best, it would probably just be horribly mutated and streched over several filler arcs under the name "SMASH! (random adjective) Trip to the Obscure Dustball Country!"... And since it isn't a whole filler arc, it is relatively safe to assume that I don't own Naruto... Although I might just be lying to you...

Neji and Sasuke had held a grudge against each other ever since their very first day of kindergarten.

...

"You stole it!"

"Didn't! 'tupid Hyuuga!" Sasuke crossed his arms and treated the young Hyuuga to a poor (and highly ineffective) rendition of the Patented Uchiha Death Glare ™, invented by his great-great-granduncle Einstein.

A teddy bear launched itself across the room, hitting Neji square in the head. Put out by the fact that his hair was now messed up and he couldn't even fix it up all nicely, Neji glared around the room at the gathered children. Spotting Gaara shooting evil looks his way, he immediately backed down from that particular argument.

"But it was all that Uchiha's fault!" he argued, "Just 'cause his brothers an ANBU doesn't mean he can do what he wants!"

"Tch. Your so troublesome. It's just a hairbrush Hyuuga." A young (and annoyed at being woken), Shikamaru yawned.

Neji was only deterred by the sight of Sasuke's ever-present fanclub cracking their knuckles to defend their precious Sasuke's honor. In the interests of his hair's safety, he decided to drop the argument…

...

Even to this day, Neji's open grudge for the main house was just a cover for his deep underlying hatred of Sasuke Uchiha. Even his obsession with birds could be traced back to Neji noticing one day that Sasuke's hair looked frighteningly similar to a cockatoo's.

Suddenly (or out of plot convenience for the author), Sasuke came hurrying along the street towards Neji. Not that Neji himself was quite sure why he had just spontaneously appeared in the middle of the street anyway. Sasuke was, on the other hand, very purposefully trying to shake the screaming fangirls off his back.

Upon seeing each other, they both stopped dead and began to stare at each other (this turned out to be a bad move for Sasuke in particular, because it gave his fangirls a change to catch up to him).

"Uchiha."

"Hyuuga"

"Sasuke-kuuuuun1!11!1" Sakura and Ino cried, attempting to glomp him (a move that Sasuke was relieved to have dodged in time).

Out of another mysterious plot convenience, a frighteningly loud person in equally as frightening attire cannoned up to them. And no, it was not Naruto.

"NEJI! SASUKE! SAKURA-CHAN MY LOVELY LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT IS I, THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA!"

Everyone post-maturely attempted to cover their ears from the over-enthusiastic onslaught. Upon seeing the all-too-familiar bright green spandex Sasuke tried to cover his eyes as well, thinking to himself, "God, he has worse fashion sense than Naruto."

"Lee. I think you just deafened me." Neji complained weakly.

"NEJI MY TEAMMATE! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND THE BEAUTIFUL TARGET OF MY UNDYING AFFECTIONS, SAKURA-CHAN, TO JOIN ME IN A THRILLING ROUND OF MINATURE GOLF! I KNOW! WE CAN ALL GO TOGETHER!"

Neji just stared blankly at him. After a few minutes had passed, his abused brain finally processed the meaning of Lee's illogical onslaught. Even when he had achieved that much, he did not know how to respond.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was being assaulted by Sakura, much to Lee's dismay. Noticing in well-hidden horror that Lee was about to make another loud and embarrassing (potentially traffic-halting) declaration of his undying love for her, Sakura grasped Sasuke's wrist so hard it began turning purple, calling out, "OH MY GAWD! That sounds, like, totally SO much fun. I'm like, totally right, aren't I Sasuke-kuuuuun!11!"

Sasuke tried to grin and nod in agreement, knowing he needed his hand to stay in one piece.

Ino stood forgotten, wondering why she was even in the fic anymore. She immediately collapsed in an attempt to get some attention, and was still ignored.

"ARE YOU COMING MY TRUSTWORTHY AND BRILLIANT TEAMMATE NEJI!" Lee bellowed three centimeters from the Hyuuga's ear.

"Firstly," stated Neji, trying to keep his voice even, "kindly keep your voice down to a dull roar. And secondly: Sasuke said that he is going, so I refuse to go as I do not wish to demean myself by associating with people of his… type."

"Yeah… Well…" Sasuke tried to counter, "He says he's not going because I'm going, so I'm not going because he says he's not going. Then I'll show everyone that I'm better than him."

"You are aware that you made absolutely no sense just then, aren't you?" Neji scoffed.

Enjoying the idea of spending time with Sasuke too much, and worried about him trying to back out, Sakura grabbed Neji's wrist with her other free hand and tore off in a random direction she hoped lead to a mini golf course.

"Coming Lee?" she called over her shoulder.

"YES CERTAINLY, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT SAKURA-CHAN, BELOVED LIGHT OF MY LIFE! AND IF I DO NOT GET THERE BEFORE YOU I SHALL DO 6000 LAPS OF THE VILLAGE WITH GAI-SENSEI AND NEJI ON MY BACK!"

Neji paled and shuddered at the thought, hoping fervently that Lee would make it there before Sakura did.

A/N: Howdy... Yeah, I wrote that up there... Please feel free to press that cute little reveiw button and give me some inspiration or fuzzy compliments, or just flame me, because that's always fun too... .