Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, All rights belong to J. K. Rowling .

1. Draco Malfoy is not a slug so, throwing salt over him is a waste of time.

2. Professor Snape is not Lucius Malfoy boyfriend and it is wrong to say he is.

3. Screaming "I want a monkey" will not make Professor McGonagall buy me a monkey.

4. I have never witnessed Dumbledore kissing Voldemort and it was wrong to say I did.

5. First years are not Zombies who are going to eat my brains and why I think they, are is a mystery to everyone.

6. The Easter bunny didn't kill Santa with a feather.

7. Professor Snape doesn't want a hug.

8. Just because Ron burped , I don't have to start screaming.

9. I cannot walk through walls if I eat potatoes.

10. The headmaster is not responsible for me blowing up the potions classroom.

11. The Weasley twins are awesome.

12. "I was busy looking for immortality" is not a good enough excuse for missing charms.

13. The portraits are not plotting to kill me.

14. Lockhart is not Draco's "real" father.

15. Professor McGonagall is not the boss of Voldemort.

16. Hermione won't do my homework, no matter how much I whine.

17. Harry cannot read my mind nor does he want to.

18. Dumbledore's doesn't want me to dye his beard pink.

19. Butterflies didn't punch Malfoy, I did.

20. Homework was not created to destroy my happiness.

21. Not allowed to flood the Hufflepuff common.

22. Not allowed to flood any part of Hogwarts.

23. I cannot threaten or bribe Hermione or any Ravenclaw into doing my homework.

24. Snape did not eat my invisible pet carrot.

25. I am not a ruler of anything, so I cannot order first years to build me

26. Boredom is not a good enough excuse for nearly causing a between Goblins and Trolls.

27. "Boo" is not a spell.

28. Dumbledore and Voldemort are not a couple and others will find it disturbing when I say they are.

29. My name is not "The pickle destroyer of Mars".

30. Filch doesn't find me kidnapping Mrs. Norris amusing.

31. Not allowed to contact Lucius Malfoy ever again.

32. Snape doesn't secretly want to adopt me.

33. Not allowed to take advantage of Lockhart's stupidity.

34. Homework is not optional.

35. I do not own Hogwarts.

36. Not allowed to give Hagrid a dragon.

37. Hogwarts has not been invaded by aliens.

38. I don't need an army of garden gnomes , but I want one.

39. Hermione doesn't want to join my " Let's destroy the pure bloods" club.

40. Not allowed to start a club to destroy anybody.

41. I cannot feed Umbridge to the giant squid.

42. I cannot help others feed Umbridge to the giant squid.

43. Laughing hysterically at Umbridge fashion sense is inappropriate.

44. Not allowed to leave charms to help Sirius hunt down Wormtail.

45. I cannot start a fight club.

46. Mocking Malfoy is not a hobby.

47. Peeves is not a professor.

48. Not allowed to attempt to do anything I saw in a cartoon.

49. The headmaster is not a goldfish.

50. Not allowed to scream "A troll in the dungeons" if there isn't.