Disclaimer: The Rat Patrol is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.

Author's note: This is for Polly Cy, who has enjoyed Captain Parker. I give you one last story before he's shipped stateside.

Relapse

By Suzie2b

It was Tuesday evening and Captain Parker was trying to relax at the movie The Wizard of Oz that was being shown in the mess tent. It was the first movie he'd been to since returning to Ras Tanura. It wasn't the movies he was avoiding, it was the popcorn. The smell, the crunch—it sort of gave him the willies. But he had promised Dr. Muskgrave that he would try to get past the aversion. So far the captain had managed to put up with the sound of popping that could be heard from the kitchen, convincing himself that the movie would drown it out.

The movie was just starting and Captain Parker was beginning to wonder if maybe he should've waited for Thursday's showing of Dracula, when a private asked if the seat next to his was taken. It wasn't and the private sat down with his bag of freshly popped popcorn.

Parker tried to ignore the smell of it and the butter. He cringed with every crunch. By the time Dorothy landed in Oz, the captain had to get out of there.

##################

The next morning, Captain Parker picked up the bottle of pills Dr. Muskgrave had prescribed. He shook one into his hand as he did every morning, but this time he stopped and looked at the tablet with a frown. Then he dropped the pill back into the bottle and put it in a dresser drawer.

As the days passed, Captain Parker's mood changed. He hadn't been sleeping well. Dreams of popcorn had him waking up in a cold sweat more than once every night. As he walked into the mess hall for breakfast one morning, he ran into Tully—literally.

Tully steadied the captain, then stepped back and gave a salute. "Excuse me, sir. I didn't see you."

Parker growled, "Watch where you're going, Pettigrew!" Before Tully could further apologize, the captain snapped, "I'm keeping my eyes on you … and your friend Hitchcock too! So, just mind your Ps and Qs!"

Confused, Tully just said, "Yes, sir."

Captain Parker marched into the mess hall, leaving Tully to shrug and head for the motor pool.

That afternoon, while taking a break from their patrol to refresh their water supply, Tully asked Hitch, "Have you seen Captain Parker lately?"

Hitch filled a canteen and handed it to Tully to put the lid on. "I've seen him around, but I haven't talked to him."

"I ran into him this morning."

"Well, I suppose you couldn't avoid him forever."

Tully set the canteen with the other filled ones. "No, I mean I ran into him. He was going into the mess hall and I was going out … we collided."

Hitch smiled. "What happened?"

"I tried to apologize. I even saluted, but he dang near took my head off. He said he was watching us and we'd better mind our Ps and Qs."

Hitch looked at his friend suspiciously. "By 'we' you mean…"

Tully smiled slightly. "He mentioned you by name."

Hitch sighed. "Great. We haven't done a single thing to Captain Parker since the popcorn caper, and he's still out to get us. I thought it was all over and settled."

"So did I."

Moffitt joined them at the well. "What are you two deep in conversation about?"

Hitch said, "Captain Parker."

Moffitt's eyebrows went up. "Oh?"

Tully said, "I accidently ran into him this morning. He almost took my head off when I said I was sorry. And he claims to be keeping an eye on Hitch and me again."

Hitch asked, "Do you think he could be having a relapse?"

Moffitt admonished as he began to gather up the filled canteens, "Let's not jump to conclusions. Could be he was just in a bad mood this morning."

##################

The next afternoon, while out on patrol, a radio call came through with orders from Captain Boggs for them to meet and escort a convoy to Socotra.

Hitch asked, "What's out there? That place was bombed out months ago."

Troy said, "A battalion moved in almost eight weeks ago. The fighting has died down some and Captain Boggs is sending supplies."

An hour later the jeeps caught up with the convoy. They came from behind and sped by on either side of the trucks until they reached the front. Troy signaled the driver to stop.

When the passenger side door popped open, out slid Captain Parker, who marched around the truck looking ready to fight. Surprised, Moffitt and Tully looked at each other before following in their jeep.

Tully stopped as Captain Parker demanded, "What's the meaning of this, sergeant?"

Troy got out of the jeep and said, "Sir, Captain Boggs gave us orders to escort your convoy to Socotra."

"Escort? Don't you mean 'babysit'? I'm perfectly capable of getting this convoy to its destination!"

"Yes, sir, but because of the fighting out that way Captain Boggs thought it best if you have some extra cover."

Parker huffed, "All right, sergeant. You do your job and I'll do mine. Just don't undermine my authority." He turned and started back to the passenger side of the truck as he yelled, "Private Watson! Let's get moving!"

Troy looked at his men. "What was that all about?"

##################

That evening, after the men had settled into their trucks for the night, Tully and three of Captain Parker's men were on watch. The half-moon was up and bright as Tully slowly walked around the camp. He had a feeling he was being watched.

After his circuit, Tully returned to where he'd started from and leaned against the truck. A shadow stepped out from between trucks and walked towards him. Moonlight revealed it was Captain Parker. As he neared, Tully asked quietly, "Anything you need, sir?"

Parker stopped in front of him. "Don't you have something better to do than stand around?"

"Sir?"

"Do I need to find you something to do, private?"

Tully frowned confusedly. "No, sir. I'm on watch for another hour and then I'm going to get some sleep. Is everything all right, captain?"

Parker snapped, "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, sir, it's after midnight and I was just wondering…"

"Everything's fine, private. Carry on."

As Captain Parker walked away, Tully saw him reach for something in his shirt pocket. He now knew why he'd had that feeling of being watched.

When Hitch arrived to relieve him, Tully warned, "Captain Parker's on the prowl. He's been watching me and scribblin' in that little notebook he carries."

Just then Parker appeared and demanded, "All right, what are you two plotting?"

Hitch said, "Um … nothing, captain. I just got here to relieve Tully on watch. He was just telling me that the night's been quiet."

Captain Parker took the notebook and pencil out as he started to walk away. "Get on with it then."

When he was out of earshot, Hitch asked quietly, "Doesn't he ever sleep?"

Tully said, "I've been wondering about that myself."

#################

Morning came and the convoy was getting ready to head out when Hitch and Tully caught up with Private Watson. They took him aside and Hitch asked, "Is everything okay with Captain Parker, Tim?"

"Far as I know. He's been a little snippy the past few days. Says he hasn't been getting much sleep. Why?"

"It looks like he may be out to get Tully and me again. We were wondering if you'd noticed anything odd lately."

Watson shook his head. "Like I said, the captain's temper has been flaring some, but other than that…"

Hitch nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Tim."

Later that day, Troy sent Moffitt and Tully out ahead of the convoy to scout around. Ten minutes later they were seen speeding back with a German column on their tail and Moffitt trying to fend them off with the 50 caliber.

Troy yelled to the driver of the lead truck, "Get out of here as fast as you can! We'll chase them off and catch up!"

When the Rat Patrol again joined the convoy, Captain Parker had his driver stop. He got out of the truck and marched up to Moffitt and Tully when the jeeps stopped next to his truck. Parker glowered at Tully as he said, "You're supposed to keep the Germans away from us, not bring them to us!"

Moffitt put a hand on Tully's shoulder before he could answer, then said calmly, "Captain, we weren't leading the Germans to your convoy. We needed help and the only way to get it was to let Troy and Hitch know what was going on."

Troy and Hitch joined them and Troy asked, "Is there a problem, sir?"

Parker turned his red-faced anger on the sergeant. "You're supposed to be protecting my convoy, sergeant!"

Troy frowned. "Isn't that what we just did, captain?"

"First these two bring a company of Germans back with them … and then you leave us to fend for ourselves!"

"Excuse me, sir, but that German column didn't get close enough to you and your convoy to even get off a shot in your direction."

Parker took out his notebook and pencil. As he wrote, he said, "When we arrive at Socotra, all four of you are going on report! Now get back to work!"

#################

Luckily, there were no further run-ins with the Germans before the convoy arrived at Socotra. As soon as the trucks were being off loaded, Captain Parker went in search of the battalion's commander.

An hour later Lt. Colonel Torres sent for Troy, Moffitt, Hitch, and Tully. When they reported in, Captain Parker pointed at the four of them and said, "These men are the ones who tried to get my convoy attacked, sir!"

Torres said, "Calm down, captain. Let me get to the bottom of this." He looked at Troy. "You didn't report in when you got here, sergeant. You're usually more punctual than that. Care to explain?"

Troy said, "I knew that Captain Parker would be here, sir. I didn't want to interrupt his report. We decided to go to the mess tent first. I'd planned to report in a bit later."

"I see. And do you know why the captain is here?"

"Yes, sir. I believe I do."

Torres said, "Please tell me your side of the story."

Troy said, "I'd sent Sergeant Moffitt and Private Pettigrew ahead to scout the area. They suddenly returned with a German column on their tail. I sent the convoy ahead to keep them out of the fight while Private Hitchcock and I went to assist my other two men."

"Captain Parker claims Moffitt and Pettigrew led the Germans back with no thought of the welfare of the convoy and you abandoned him and his men."

"Pardon me, sir, but that's not what happened. The only way that Moffitt and Pettigrew could let us know what was happening was to come back. Pettigrew made sure he stayed far enough away so the convoy was in no danger. As soon as I told the driver of the captain's truck to take off, Hitchcock and I went to give my other men a hand. After we ran the Germans off, we caught up with the convoy."

Parker said, "Lies, Lt. Colonel!" He took the notebook out of his pocket and set it on the desk in front of Torres. "I've been watching them, sir. Especially the privates. They're sneaky and Sergeants Troy and Moffitt have no control over their activities."

Lt. Colonel Torres picked up the notebook and skimmed through the rambling notes. When he got to one particular section, Torres' eyebrows shot up. "Popcorn, captain?"

Parker said, "Yes, sir. Hitchcock and Pettigrew put popcorn in the engine compartments of my trucks on an earlier convoy. When it began to pop it could easily have injured someone. Then they assaulted me with a mountain of popped popcorn in my quarters. I could have suffocated in that avalanche, sir."

Torres wasn't sure if he should take the captain seriously or not.

Tully said, "If I may, sir?"

Torres nodded. "Go ahead, private."

"It was my idea to put the popcorn in the trucks. It was a prank, sir."

Hitch said, "I helped him, sir. We didn't mean any harm."

Captain Parker pointed at the privates with a manic grin. "I always knew it was you two! I just couldn't prove it!"

Tully quickly added, "But I swear we didn't put the popcorn in his quarters, sir."

Torres asked, "Do you know who did do it?"

Tully hesitated before answering, "I think so … but I'd rather not say without knowing for sure, sir."

Torres gave a sigh, not really sure what to think of the situation. "All right, sergeant, you and your men can go, but don't leave camp."

Troy nodded. "Yes, sir."

Parker started, "But Lt. Colonel Torres…"

Torres said, "That goes for you as well, captain. And I suggest you avoid one another until I find out exactly what's going on."

#################

The following day Lt. Colonel Torres called the Rat Patrol to his tent. "I was able to contact Major Gleason at your base in Ras Tanura. He explained what had happened with the popcorn and how it pushed Captain Parker too far. Did you know the captain was recently put on medication to control episodes like this?"

Troy shook his head. "No, sir, we hadn't heard anything about that."

"I'm not surprised. It's not the sort of thing a person wants to get around, especially in the army. It would appear that, for whatever reason, Captain Parker has been neglecting to take the medication prescribed to him."

Moffitt nodded. "That would explain his relapse, sir."

Torres said, "Yes. When I spoke to him earlier, he admitted to me that he hasn't been sleeping well lately, which no doubt contributed to this problem. I personally escorted him to medical, where he's been sedated until the doctors can find out what was prescribed so they can start him on it again. Major Gleason is having the captain's quarters searched, so we should have that information soon."

Troy asked, "What's going to happen to Captain Parker, sir?"

"He'll stay here for a few days, and then he'll be transported to Benghazi before he's sent back to the states."

Tully asked, "Will he be discharged, sir?"

Torres replied, "Hard to say. If his issues can be controlled and monitored, there's a chance he'll be assigned to a stateside base."

"I hope so, sir. I feel like I'm the one that caused all this with that stupid prank."

"Don't feel too badly, private. From what Major Gleason told me, the captain's doctor feels it would have happened eventually, regardless of would you did. Just be careful with the pranks from now on."

Tully gave a half smile and said, "Yes, sir. I'll be real careful from now on."

Moffitt and Hitch couldn't hide their grins and Troy rolled his eyes. They knew it was just a matter of time.