Letter From the Author:
Hello to anyone who is reading this! This will be my first story on this account, and I haven't written any fanfiction in over a year. The reason behind my absence for the better portion of these last two years is two things: firstly, I got myself into a ridiculously bad situation which led to my self destruction. Second, my last account and my only major story got so much hate it's probably a world-record or something. I had people constantly insulting my plot, and telling me they wish I would die or to go kill myself. That right there is the inspiration behind my new username "fuckmyreputation". Where I got the username from, is a song by Sinners Are Winners, titled "Zero Fucks Given". The full line I was going for is "fuck my reputation, you can swallow my kids" but that's too long to be a username. Anyway, that's explained so I'm going to move on to the story now! I hope you enjoy it! Leave a review if you do or have any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism for me! -DV
Monday, October 8, 2012
The seconds on the clock tick slowly by as I sit in my morning class, vigorously taking notes and trying to ignore the sickness in my stomach. I'm in the first term of my second year of university and I came to class despite the uneasy feeling because I don't want to miss anything. So far in my university years, I've only missed a single class and that was for a family emergency. I hope to never miss another because when you miss a class, it's easy to get behind, and putting in all the extra effort to stay on top while skipping was hard enough in high school. I've grown up a lot and I know better now.
As I sit in class, I wonder why I suddenly caught a stomach bug, but then I remember it's technically flu season. I'll go grab some medicine after class. For now I just have to survive the class without puking my guts up. Oh shit, thinking about not puking only makes it harder! I clench my jaw, press my lips together as hard as they can go and frantically fling my hand over my mouth. I feel it crawling up the back of my throat and will it with all my might to go back down. To my surprise, it actually obeys.
45 minutes later, my professor releases class for the day and I grab my bag and run out into the hall and down to the ladies' restroom. The second I'm inside the stall, before I even manage to close the door, everything, including my energy pours rapidly out of me and splashes in the toilet water. Once my stomach was empty, walked dizzily out to get a taxi to my apartment.
I get home and call to cancel my lunch study date I had planned for today with some friends from class. There is no way in hell I feel like eating or even studying right now. I go to the bathroom and take some flu medicine my Dad had sent off to university with me, then I take a hot shower in hopes of feeling better. The shower didn't do much except make me feel clean.
I twisted my hair up into a wet messy bun and threw on some clothes for work. My shift starts at noon and goes until 6. Surely the medicine will kick in by then and I'll be functional.
My shift went through without any problem, no sickness or anything. I guess the medicine did work. I ran home and took another dose before heading to my evening class, where we actually make clothes and fashion outlines.
The next day, I wake up with identical sickness as the morning before. I'm too queasy for breakfast, so I just take some medicine, have some tea and get dressed for class.
During work, I accidentally run into one of my coworkers and get a clothes hanger rammed into my right breast. Well, not rammed exactly, but it felt like it and I had to go in the break room and try my best not to cry because of how insanely it hurt. If my chest is that sensitive then my period should be any day now. First the flu and now my period too? This will be absolute hell.
A few days later, after dealing with this abnormally long stomach flu, my period tracking app on my phone alerts me that my period is a week late. I immediately call my doctor and schedule an emergency appointment and then call my boss about the appointment and that I will be late today.
I go to the appointment shortly after my morning class and the nurse does the basic weighing and measuring routine before putting me in a room and sending the doctor to me.
"Good morning, Jenny. What is your emergency today?" My doctor asks me as she walks into the room and sits down in front of me.
"My period is late and it's never been late before," I blurt out quickly.
"Is that seriously your emergency?"
"Uh, yes. I don't understand why this would happen! I thought I was perfectly healthy so I don't know why this is happening!" I almost shout because I'm scared and I feel a bit ridiculed.
"Jenny, have you had unprotected sex recently?" She asks me quietly.
"No! I'm not stupid! Why would I do that?"
"Calm down, I'm not trying to upset you, I'm only trying to help you. Have you had any sex at all recently?"
"How recently?"
"When was your last period?"
"Last month, why?"
"Have you had sex since then?"
"Yes but we used protection."
"Jenny, you're far old enough to know that protection doesn't work all the time. Have you realized you could be pregnant?"
"I doubt I'm pregnant, I mean we used a condom and then I took the morning after pill."
"Neither of those methods are 100% reliable though and once in awhile they do slip up." The doctor reminded me.
"What the hell makes you think I'm pregnant?" I demanded.
"Have you felt sick lately? Have you been more tired than usual? Have you been bloated? Have your breasts been sore or swollen?"
I realize in that moment that I'd been experiencing everything she mentioned. All of them are symptoms of pregnancy.
"I can tell by the look on your face that I'm getting somewhere with this, now take this to the bathroom over there and follow the instructions. I have another patient I need to check up on, but I will be back in a few minutes." She said as she handed me a pregnancy test and left to room.
I look at the boxed test in my hand. How could I be pregnant? I'm only 19 and in university. We used not one, but two types of protection. This test better be negative. I can't be pregnant.
10 minutes went by and the doctor returns to the room.
"Did you take the test?" She asks me nicely.
"Yes."
"What did the results say?"
"I don't know"
"Why? Haven't you looked at it?"
"Nope."
"Are you scared to see what it says?"
"Pretty much."
"Jenny, you have to know if you're expecting a baby." She told me in a serious tone.
"I know." I reply as I pick the test up and look at it.
Holy shit. This can't be right. There's a little plus sign on it!
"What does this mean?" I asked nervously.
"The test is positive."
"No, no way. That can't be accurate. I can't have a baby!" I panicked.
"Do you want to do a blood test? That's more accurate."
"Yeah, I don't think this test is right. How long will a blood test take?"
"Just a few hours, then I'll call you with the results."
"Ok. I want to do a blood test." I said, and did.
Getting the blood drawn didn't hurt at all. After that, I leave and go to work.
Right before I clock out of my shift, the doctor calls me.
"Hello? What are the results?" I asked the second I accepted the call.
"Jenny, I know you don't want to hear this, but your results from earlier have been confirmed. When would be a good time for you to come in and determine your due date and other important milestones in the pregnancy?"
"Uh, when is the soonest available appointment?"
"Next Friday morning."
"I guess I'll take that."
"Ok, which time?"
"Can it be 11? I have class before then and I'm not missing it for an appointment."
"Sure, we can do that. Call me if you have any questions or concerns about the pregnancy. I know what it's like to be a young mother and feel clueless."
"Ok, thanks."
"Anytime, I'll see you on Friday."
"Yeah, ok." I ended the call.
Apparently I'm going to have a baby. I'm not married, hell, I'm not even seeing anyone! I don't even know the name of the father of the little ball of cells that currently resides in my uterus! What's my family going to think? What's this baby going to think of me if it's born? I don't even know if I want it to be born. I don't think I can let it. I'm in college still! I can't raise a baby too, can I?