I'm in a very calm and quiet mood right now. Been watching RoyxEd AMV's . . . They're so wonderful. Anyway, I was inspired to do this story because I always thought it was really angsty, the way Roy was in Amestris and Ed was on the other side of the gate. And they miss each other so much. Realizing that they loved each other all along . . . -sigh- This fic is also based off Neue Welt, a doujinshi I read while starting this story. It is such a sad doujinshi (I was crying and probably depressed for about 3 days). I recommend you guys read it. There's a scanlation at central library on and it's really great.

I love RoyxEd. Thank you so much Arakawa-sensei, for making such a beautiful creation. And thank you to the guys that made FMA into an anime. -sigh- Sometimes I get so emotional. I also love Vic :3 Can't help it; he's such a wonderful man. When I see him I'm going to say, "Thank you for being such a wonderful voice actor." Then I'll give him a hug -. He had the right emotion for Ed and that's why I love him. Also, it's cool that he still gives RoyxEd fans some service ("Roy Mustang is dead sexy!") even though he's a Christian and doesn't approve of homosexuality (well from what I've heard). I don't think of Ed and Roy as gay guys, but as two people who just fell in love. :3 -Ed appears out of nowhere- "STOP PAIRING ME UP WITH ROY!" -dodges knife that Ed throws at her- Fuck you, Brother! I was just telling the readers that you weren't gay! -Ed stares at her- "Feh. Okay then." -watches Ed walk away- Stupid shrimpy brother of mine. "WHAT WAS THAT?" Nothing!" "You're short too!" -throws spear at Ed, then uses her alchemy- HAVE A NICE SLEEP TONIGHT!! YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF NIGHTMARES ABOUT ROY!! (Note: My alchemy is where I take nightmares from the other side of the gate and transfer them to my target. It can be anything I want. Hence Nightmare-san. I can also use normal alchemy) :3

Disclaimer: . . . WHAT?! It's up there! It's mixed into the emotional thank you and random rant thing

(Started Nov. 26, 2006)

Chapter 1 / Blue Tears / Roy . Part 1

Why . . . Why . . . WHY?

Why else, dumb ass! A shout interrupted his private thoughts, and he realized it was his conscience.

Roy never really paid attention to his conscience, but for some reason it wasn't just a small voice in his head anymore; it was yelling louder and louder. Annoyed, Roy snapped his eyes shut and seen his devil conscience standing before him, dressed in a red military uniform which matched the red hot horns on its head and scarlet spiked tail that was swinging excitedly; a smug grin was plastered to its face.

Why did it have to be like this? Why do I have to miss that stupid shrimp? He didn't know who he was asking . . . Himself or his conscience . . . Either way his conscience heard him.

It's because you love him. His conscience answered the question as if it was the simplest thing.

No, I don't. Roy insisted.

Yes, you do.

No . . .For a moment, Roy didn't know what to say. He didn't want to find out he was in love.

Why?

He always attracted you, didn't he, Colonel.

His evil conscience spoke the last word in a voice that hurt Roy. It was the voice that had been haunting him ever since he had heard of Ed's death. Along with his voice, came the body, and even after Roy opened his eyes, the image of the person he loved so dearly (he had been fighting the thought) stayed in his mind and hovered near the fireplace.

"What's wrong, Colonel shit?"

Get out of my head. Stop using his voice. Roy growled through grit teeth.

"Oh, that's right. You're only Corporal now . . ." His conscience looked around. "You live in such a shit cabin . . . Pitiful. Though . . . It was because of my death that you wanted to get away from anything that reminded you of me . . . HA, how weak."

No . . .

"It was also because of all the innocent lives you took, wasn't it? You slaughtered them . . . But I suppose that's your job. Killing innocent people, that is . . . Dog of the Military."

NO . . . Not anymore.

Suddenly, his love turned back into the evil conscience.Hmph. You're boring me. So, I'll be off . . . Gonna go to torment someone else. Heh, Maybe I'll go torment your love.

You . . . Before Roy could say anything more, the devil conscience was gone.

For a moment, Roy stayed where he was, stock-still, with beads of sweat running down his handsome face, and tears beginning to form in his onyx eyes. It had been painful to see Ed again. Even the thought brought pain to his heart. His mind went black for a minute. What was he upset about again? Then he remembered.

I really do love Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.

It was a feeling he had been suppressing for a long time . . . A feeling that had probably started when he had seen Ed lying in that bed at the Rockbell's house. At first he had thought it was a sort of fatherly love (he had thought the kid was cute but annoying and stubborn, and felt he had to protect Ed and his little brother), but he hadn't realized until later on, that it was true love. And to think, before he had even met Ed, he had liked Riza . . . But that kid had done something to him. He had ignited a fire deep within Roy's heart. The fire just kept growing with longing, and would only settle when Edward was his.

Jumping to his feet, Roy realized that he had to stay strong . . . For Edward . . . For his friends . . . For himself.

He thought of the picture he and Fullmetal had taken the last time they were both in Central. The picture was probably still in his desk (if no one had thrown it out), because he hadn't bothered to bring it.

". . . I work my fucking ass off, and you fucking tell me nothing! How the fuck am I supposed to achieve my fucking goal when I-I - . . . JESUS!!" The short blond slammed his fist onto the Colonel's desk and hung his head.

Roy looked at the foul-mouthed shrimp, then down to the dent in his desk. "You're buying me a new desk, Fullmetal. Calm down." Roy said, his voice sharp with anger and bitterness. Who the hell did this kid think he was? Usually, Roy ignored the brat's cussing, taunts, cockiness, stubbornness, and his anger outbursts, and pretty much all the things he thought annoying, but the Colonel had been feeling strange toward the kid lately, stranger than ever.

Ed shot the Colonel a cold and angry stare. His eyes were burning with anger, but there was also a hint of sadness. Ed suddenly turned around and sat down in the leather couch that was nearby, still staring angrily at the Colonel.

"Listen, Fullmetal-"

"Forget it." Ed snapped. His eyes were still angry, but there was a slightly evident sadness shining in them now. Had Ed been sad that that was all the Colonel had said?

Roy cleared his throat as Ed cracked his knuckles. "Fullmetal, I assure you I will inform you immediately next time. It's just, this time I received the information late, and I didn't have time to inform you." Ed stopped cracking his neck and looked over at Roy, his eyes showing a mix of emotions.

Suddenly, his expression turned to into a cocky smile and the sadness in his eyes subdued; now they were slanted angrily. "Feh. Yeah, well, next time inform me quicker. Jesus, it's not that difficult." Roy was relieved Ed had returned to his usual stubborn self. Emotional Ed made him feel weird.

Roy moved from behind his desk to the front of it, sitting on the edge. He closed his eyes and sighed, then muttered, "Well, I wouldn't really have anything to do if I didn't have your reports to read." He kept his eyes shut, for he didn't want to see Ed's expression. He was hoping this would make Edward feel better.

There was silence for a moment. Roy opened his eyes. A stern frown was stuck on Ed's face, and his eyes wandered around the room and rested on Roy. Pulling his face into a forced smiled, Ed muttered a quiet, "Yeah . . ."

Roy was bothered by the fake smile that was on Ed's face; it wasn't like him. Swiftly walking over and pulling the corners of Ed's mouth upwards, Roy smiled madly.

"What the-"

"Don't give me a fake smile, brat."

Crossing his arms, Ed muttered, "Stupid old man."

Vein popping, Roy pulled harder on Ed's mouth, making him force a smile even more. "Stupid-"

Suddenly, they heard a click and looked up to see Hughes standing at the door, holding a camera, smiling evilly.

Roy let go of Ed's mouth and even though Ed couldn't help smiling, his brow furrowed and he stared at Hughes with death. Roy did the same.

"Aww, you two looked so cute!" Hughes purred, shining them a peace sign. "You two together is almost as cute as a picture of Elicia! ALMOST."

"Hughes I hope you know how to run as fast as you take pictures because-" Roy started, his fingers ready to snap. "We'll kill ya." Edward finished the sentence for him and transmuted his hand into his classic arm blade.

Hughes immediately got the warning, because he quickly closed the door, still snickering.

-

The next day, Hughes put a copy of the picture on Roy's desk. Roy quickly disposed of it. The next day he put another copy on Roy's desk . . . Roy destroyed it. For a few days more it continued, before Roy finally gave up and kept one. He kept it in his desk drawer, where no one would see it.

--/ Ed . Part 2

Here in Munich, life was great!

Aw, who was he kidding? Life here in Munich was awful.

It wasn't that he didn't like Munich . . . It just wasn't his home. In fact, the whole world he was in wasn't his home.

He missed his brother . . . his friends . . . his family . . . and most of all . . . he missed his love.

Colonel Roy Mustang, The Flame Alchemist.

Well, Roy had been General when Ed had left, but Ed still called him Colonel. He was so used to it.

Ed had always loved the Colonel (though had hidden it quite well).

When he had first really met Roy, it had been after he and Al had defeated the hijackers. One of the hijackers (Bald) had escaped from his holding and attacked Roy. Roy immediately burst him into flames before Bald could even touch him.

That's the moment Ed had fallen.

The power Roy had commanded in that movement had captured Ed. He felt his heart stop and flip flop; doing all kinds of things he had never felt before. And moments later, he confronted Roy about the train, his knees still weak. (AN: I just downloaded episode 5 not to long ago and watched it. I almost forgot how funny it was. XD)

That had been the moment, and it still played in his mind. Every. Single. Day.

Well . . . it had when he had been over in Amestris, but now he couldn't remember as clearly. He couldn't remember the face of his beautiful Colonel . . . It hurt so much.

Still, Ed kept strong everyday since he had entered the alternate world, confident he was going to find a way to go back over to Amestris someday. For now, all he could do was wait.

-- End Chapter

Phew . . . Finished. -bows- (Finished Dec 27) Whee 2 days after Christmas (I'll talk about Christmas in my rant in my profile, if anyone cares and is bored)! Didn't really have time to work on this. And I was working on Flamers . . . Which no one seems to like except for me. T.T Anyway, my birthday is in 3 days. On the 30th :3 I'm gonna be 13 XD Yeah, I'm really young . . . But don't judge me for that! My wits grew long before my body, so I'm really mature. Anyway, hope people like this fic so far. See on the next chapter!