In the middle of the training grounds, Seth practised his lance alone. It was something he did when he wished to think uninterrupted. Most people would not be willing to approach a paladin when he is waving lance around.
The subject of Seth's thoughts today was the young knight, Franz. He had often caught Franz watching him, which was not unusual as he knew Franz idolised him, but lately something in Franz's gaze had been different. The usual adoration was present but in the last few weeks, something else had accompanied it.
Seth thought he recognised it and it scared him. If he was right, then Franz desired more than just to be like him. If he was right then Franz might desire him.
There were rules forbidding relationships in the Renais military. Homosexual relationships were frowned on even more though not expressly forbidden. Seth suspected it was because the ones originally making the rules never thought much about it.
Franz knew the rules as well as Seth did, so he clearly knew that should he approach Seth about his feelings, then Seth would be forced to turn him down. Of course, Seth would have turned him down anyway…wouldn't he?
A startling part of Seth's subconscious wondered if being with the young cavalier would be so bad. After all, Seth had never felt more than passing attractions towards anyone, concentrating more on his duties as General. If he were to fall in love with Franz…
But no, it could never be allowed to happen. Seth would lose everything if he was caught with the young man, as would Franz. Everything he had worked for would be for nothing.
Although Seth was not even sure he felt anything for the young man. He would have to find some way of testing to see how he really felt. However, if the result was that he really did feel some kind of attraction towards Franz, it could be problematic. Would he be able to control his feelings, put them out of his mind for the rest of his life or would he eventually be overcome by them and forced to confess before it drove him mad?
The paladin paused in his practise. He rested the end of the lance on the ground and rested his forehead against the cool metal. Eyes closed, he imaging Franz in his mind, smiling. Then he changed the vision to show him kissing the young man.
To his surprise, the image did not bother him as much as he thought it might. Then the image changed again and Franz was underneath him, writhing and sighing in happiness and lust.
Seth's eyes snapped open. So perhaps he did feel something for the young man after all. Since he had been focussed on his duties, the feelings had gone unnoticed until now.
It was of no matter though. He and Franz could never be, even if his feelings were reciprocated. There were too many obstacles in the way and too much to lose if they were caught. All Seth could do was put the feelings to one side and forget about them.
The paladin took a deep breath and prepared to continue practising. As he lifted his head he found himself staring into Franz's eyes across the courtyard.
A/N: This turned out nothing like how I envisioned it. It was supposed to be a one-shot but it may turn into more. But only if the people want it. That's a hint to review, by the way. XD