Sacrificant
A/N So this is my Divergent fanfic, actually my first fanfic ever. The story happens after Allegiant so it has spoilers. Also, English is not my native language so I'm sorry for the mistakes. I hope you review and tell me your opinions! The story is about a Divergent girl who has aptitude for every faction. The girl has been tortured she has been held as a hostage with the people who raise her. No-one but her best friend have ever loved her and still she hasn't lost hope. This is her story. This is also an alternative ending for Allegiant if you want to think it that way.
Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, but Juliet and her friends are all mine.
Prologue (Juliet POV):
Can I be forgiven for all I've done?
I want to be.
I can.I believe it.
"Ahh!" I scream, waking up all sweaty in my bed. A painful headache hits me as I try to crawl myself back into the blanket mountain, - which, just seconds ago, felt warm and safe. A wild thought appears in my head and in another wave of almost unbearable pain, I get it. I was dreaming. Again. "Juliet!" I hear a shout and footsteps from the stairs but I feel myself too weak to answer. The pain is still inside of me, it's like I'm being stabbed with hundreds of knives but with the knowledge I'm going to make it while she... Isn't. The pain feels now also mentally, like I've lost a friend. A friend I've never met, though. But still a friend who has been there, as an act of rebellion in this cage I was born to.
A new wave of pain strikes my body as the door opens. "In the name of God, what are you doing in the middle of the night?" the guard, Alec, asks. I raise my eyebrows sarcastically. "Well, dunno, thought it would be fun to-" a pain stops my sentence and I start to cough. Alec looks nervous. He clearly doesn't know what to do. He's an idiot, but sometimes I feel pity for him. I mean, it's not his fault he hasn't been blessed with too many brain cells. I feel the urge to confort him despite my own situation. Moments like this, I really hate the Stiff in me. He looks at me and makes his desicion. "I'll call the boss", he says and I roll my eyes ignoring the pain. How astonishing. Sometimes I wonder where the Controller finds all the brainless servants like him. From the factionless, probably. "Hi, boss, um..." Alec starts to talk nervously to the phone. I try to eavesdrop the Controllers words, but all I hear is Alec's fearful mumbling. "Yeah, I know, I DO, but there's a problem. She seems sick. Very sick. Yes I know it... Shouldn't be, but... Yes I know. Allright. See you in five minutes. Bye." He closes the phone, gives me an unreadable look and walks away. I sigh and lay down.
Of course they're not going to tell me what's the matter with me, I mean, it would be just stupid. It's only about me and my condition, so why should I know anything? I try to push the pain away from my mind and wait calmly for the Controller to come. I know he'll come after he has spoken to Alec and he'll come alone, like he always does. As ironic as it sounds, I've sort of become his most trusted person here. He trusts me. Well, not me if we're being quite sure. He trusts himself and I am a part of him, he uses to tell. He trusts that I am selfless, kind, brave, intelligent and honest all at the same time. He trusts that he has created a perfect Divergent, a perfect weapon. But he's wrong. Yes, I have the aptitude for each faction and the personal ability which comes from that, but there's something the Controller has misunderstood: I can close out my aptitudes for some time. I don't have to be honest or kind or selfless all of the time. That's something I know and he doesn't and it gives me a spark of hope that one day, I'll be free.
"Can she hear us?" I hear Alec ask. "Of course she can't, stupid, there's a reason her walls are sound proof!" Ha, idiots. There's also a few reasons I have an aptitude for Erudite. For example, the ability to notice the soundproof walls in five seconds and make a few invinsible holes in them in four. "Do you know what this means, boss?" Alec continues ignoring the insult. "Yes I do know, but you, boy, you have no idea." Controller sounds tired, actually more tired than he usually does. "Well could you probably tell me? I need to know what it is so I can watch her better." "You don't need to know anything, boy, but if it makes you feel more important, I can tell you: Beatrice Prior is dead." Beatrice Prior, I think. The girl from my dreams has... had a name.
"Now, my dear Juliet, what is the problem of yours?" Controller asks and steps in. I suppress a shudder. I loathe this man more than anything, but there's no way for me to avoid being with him. I wince and say: "My head aches. I don't know what happened. I just woke up and there was just... pain." He looks at me grimly. "And there's nothing more? You didn't see anything coming? You didn't have… a dream?" "A dream? No, I haven't had any dreams since the medication started, why?" I lie fluently. He looks at me in disbelief, but then seems to remember that I am partly Candor and shrugs. "I just thought that maybe the girl from your earlier dreams was there again, asking for help or something", he answers. Now I don't need to fake my surprise. "Asking for help? How in the world would I be able to help her? I don't even know her!" I ask horrified. If there was any reason Beatrice Prior's death had been my fault, I couldn't ever forgive myself. The Controller just shakes his head impatiently. "No, you stupid girl, if you didn't have any dreams she wasn't asking for help. She probably doesn't even know that you exist. And there's nothing you could've done to help her anyway. She's most likely dead now." He looks satisfied as he says so. Now I feel even worse. She is dead and she was maybe asking for me to help her. I'm sorry, Beatrice Prior. You were there for me but I wasn't there for you.
The Controller looks at me with amuse and then, without any warning, grabs my neck and kisses me passionately. He tastes like alcohol and junk food. His other hand holds me still while the other one starts taking my pants off. I feel pure hatred striking me, but he has done this all too many times for me to know that there's no escape. He pushes me to my bed and kisses me again, roughly. I close my eyes and try to close everything out of my head. I try to recall the rare good moments in my life. I remember the first time I met Ethan. I remember when we swore to each other to be best friends forever. I remember the first time he had brought me a book called Romeo and Juliet- I had been so fascinated that I had pecked him on the cheek. I think about the world of books, the princes, princesses, dragons, knights and the true love that is the most powerful magic of all. I dream about how someday a prince will come and save me while the Controller moves on me, breathing heavily.
When he's done he leaves me laying there, numb. I feel the urge to cry, but I fight back the tears. I won't spread my tears on him, he doesn't deserve them. I lay there for some time and then give up to the strengthening headache and fall asleep.
But I'm not alone. There's a girl, about my size but older, with narrow face, blond hair which is just a little darker than mine and gray-blue eyes. My eyes. "Who are you?" She asks. She looks confused and upset. "I saw what he did to you. Why didn't you fight back?" I just look at her. "You're Beatrice Prior, aren't you?" I ask back. She looks even more confused and stares at me. "Yeah, how do you know me? How do I not know you?" She keeps asking. Then her eyes turn dark. "I am dead, aren't I?" "Yes, I think so." I answer sadly. "I am sorry. And to answer your questions, my name is Juliet Shadowhunter. I don't have a real last name, but Ethan says that everybody needs one, so we decided I'd be Shadowhunter, because I love the stories about them. I know you, because when I was five years old I started having dreams about you. But one time the dream was different. You saw me too. We stared at each other and your brother told you to give me your jumping rope and you were embarrassed. I was really there. After that the Controller got really mad and gave me the medicines to stop dreaming. I haven't had any dreams about you since. Until tonight", I explain and she sounds fascinated. "You were the little girl?" She asks and I nod. It feels really strange finally talking to her, the girl from my dreams. But it also feels kind of comforting. She is really there, in my head and the first time of my life I am not alone. "Do you have any idea what are you doing in my head? Not that I'd mind at all, but… It would be nice to know." I ask. She shrugs and looks thoughtful. "I am dead. I am with my mom and dad and Will has forgiven me and Marlene and Lynn are here too. But they're not here, are they? Maybe I am not as dead as them? Or maybe there's some sort of connection between you and me which makes me be alive and dead at the same time? Like I'm alive in your head?" She suggests. I nod, it sounds like the most logical option. "Well, welcome here, then. But why you and me?" I wonder. I know I can talk to people in coma but to dead? This is new. We kind of look alike. We have the same eyes. Could it be...? "Where have you inherited those eyes? Is your mom or dad strongly Divergent?" I quickly ask. She looks puzzled. "Well, I think my mother's mother had eyes like this… And my mom really is Divergent." She says. "Then", I start, "I think you're my big sister." Beatrice looks shocked, she surely wasn't expecting this. "No… That can't be… Mom could have never cheated dad. Especially", she adds with a shiver "with that guy." I raise my eyebrows. "What guy? And I didn't mean-"I start but she interrupts:" That slimy, evil man who made you to… You know, a while ago." She seems getting more and more red and then it hits me. "The Controller?! No, I mean defiantly NOT, no way, he's not like… my father, well he kind of is but really isn't. I don't have parents. And your mother didn't have to cheat your father to um, make me. They used her genes. She probably didn't even know about me." I almost laugh about Beatrice thinking the Controller was my father. Almost. But the thought is more disgusting than funny. Beatrice, however, looks pale. "How… What do you mean you don't have parents? Are they dead? And what has it to do with my mother?" She asks. I sigh. "How on Earth are you inside my head but can't dig the information out of me? This is exhausting. No, my parents are not dead. I don't have parents. Or I have many. However you want to think it. I wasn't born, I was created. The Controller told me that for decades small groups of scientists have tried to make a perfect Divergent, a perfect weapon. The Controller found a way to do it. He and his group took some of the strongest Divergent's DNA, somehow mixed it and, well… Ta-da, here I am! I was born in a test-tube in a laboratory. So, I don't have parents. I'm raised and teached by the Controller and his scientists. I loathe them", I tell. "Oh Juliet, I am so sorry!" She sounds terrified and sad for me. It's weird, no one really feels sad for me. Ethan is almost exactly in the same situation, dealing with the same assholes. And Beatrice is dead. She should be sorry for herself, not me. Although maybe it was wonderful to be dead, I don't know. "But you shouldn't be, Beatrice", I tell her. "It's not your fault and you've kind of helped me to survive. You were in my dreams and I got strength from them. Thank you. How is it like to be… dead?" I ask before I can stop myself. Damm it you Candor-mouth Erudite-curious girl! But Beatrice just seems thoughtful. "It's good to hear that I've been help. And I thought being dead was more peaceful and that I'd accept it but now… I don't think I should be here in your head permanently. I mean that I'm trouble for you. You can't fall in love without me there. I'll see everything. I'll become a part of you. And there's something I desire." She blushes as she speaks. "I wouldn't mind, it's nice to have some company for a while. But I understand your point. What do you desire; can I get it for you?" I ask. She smiles and blushes even more. "Four", she says. "Tobias Eaton". I raise my eyebrows. "I have always wanted to escape, and that I shall do. But that will take time and we need to make sure the factions will stay- at least partly." I tell her. "Why?" She asks. "Because I will be Dauntless."
The first thing I do when I wake up is to send Ethan a short text.
We gotta get outta here. The dead dream girl is in my head. We have a plan.
-Jul
Beatrice Prior smiles in my head.