DGG: Hello, everyone! I am here to post this little one-shot just so everyone knows I'm still alive...Woo! Also, I've been working on the sequel to 'Come Back to Me', but I have hit a point of writer's block...and of course, a plethora of other story ideas flooded my brain. SO MANY IDEAS! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! But I decided to take a break from writing the sequel to write this one little story.
You know, apparently I had this story idea before because saved in my files was a story quite similar to this one...So I picked through the old one and tried to insert similar parts into this one. Yay! I think it's cute, anyway. And I've never actually done a story focusing directly on Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda, so here it is! Yay! Anti-fairies!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairly Odd Parents. If I did, I would know where exactly the new episodes are in the production line because I'm ready for new episodes . THE WAIT IS KILLING ME!
CRASH!
BANG!
SMASH!
"Every time! EVERY TIME!" cried the evil, self-proclaimed leader of the anti-fairies, Anti-Cosmo, as he rushed around, ransacking the entire room in a fit of rage.
Currently, the fanged male was in his study and had been since Jorgen Von Strangle – the chief law and rule enforcer of Fairy World – had forcibly trapped him and the rest of the anti-fairy race back in their own realm a few hours earlier.
His brain was muddled with all sorts of questions and thoughts as he continued his malevolent onslaught of his prized possessions. How could this have happened? His plan had been perfect this time! He had succeeded in using some idiot from a different universe to free his fellow anti-fairies from Abracatraz. From there, the entire anti-fairy race traveled to Earth where he used half the population to fly around the Earth at supersonic speeds to halt the planet's rotation, which meant it would remain Friday the Thirteenth every day! Because of this, he sent the remainder of his race to spread bad luck throughout the globe. It had been such a beautiful sight. His people were finally free! They could finally cause havoc at any given time on all unsuspecting, innocent victims; however, as quickly as Anti-Cosmo began rejoicing, that's when things took a turn.
Timmy Turner, his idiot godparents, and some other brats from another universe concocted a plan to counteract his! They were able to conjure up enough bad luck that no anti-fairy could resist its sweet siren call. Soon the anti-fairies who had been speeding around the Earth came zooming back to Dimmsdale so they could create bad luck with the rest of their cohorts. The world began rotating once more, and Anti-Cosmo, along with the rest of the anti-fairy population, was sucked inside Turner's fudge-head, brainiac friend's hypercube via a butterfly net where they had all been trapped for a few hours.
Once Anti-Cosmo and his wife arrived back at their large, foreboding castle, the evil male had wasted no time in barricading himself within his study. He wanted to be alone in order to think about his most recent plan gone awry. He had sat down at his beautiful, hand-carved, mahogany desk and had immediately placed his head in his hands.
It wasn't fair. Victory had always been dangling like a carrot on a stick in front of him, always just out of reach. And just when he actually got the carrot to his lips, it was ripped right back out of his grasp!
It wasn't fair.
IT WASN'T FAIR!
It was then that he threw everything off his desk with a single swipe of his arms. Everything tumbled onto the ground with a clatter, which gave the angry male a sense of satisfaction. A fire ignited within him as he suddenly hated the entire room. It didn't deserve to look so prim and proper. It should look how he felt.
And that led him to the current situation of rushing around and throwing everything around in a fit of anger. Priceless antiques were now shattered on the floor, his countless and treasured books were now strewn carelessly all around the room, statues were lying on their sides, furniture was overturned, papers were flying gently all over the place. Eventually he turned his sights to the red-velvet couch where he used his sharp claws to rip the cushions and throw-pillows open, sending stuffing and feathers flying around in a frenzy. After that, he grabbed the lamp on the end table beside the couch and chucked it vehemently over his shoulder. He didn't think his feverish onslaught would end, that is until he heard a frightened yelp upon the lamp smashing against the doorway. He immediately froze, fearing he had accidentally hit his beloved. He turned around slowly, finding Anti-Wanda floating in the doorway with worry and fright coating her face; however, relief washed over him when she appeared unscathed.
"Anti-Wanda," he breathed shakily, attempting to calm his nerves, "are you all right?"
"Y-yeah," she glanced apprehensively down at the shattered lamp that had nearly smashed right into her face. "I heard all sorts-a noises. W-what're ya' doin'?"
"Never you mind. You should leave now, Anti-Wanda," he ordered, speaking evenly.
"It's so messy," she blinked her pink eyes while looking around at the room in awe. "It kinda looks like one o' them twister things hit…or um…one o' them Earth-shaky thingies."
"I'm quite aware of how the room looks. I'm the reason it looks this way!" his right eye twitched.
"How come yer allowed ta' make a mess in here an' I'm not?" she asked genuinely.
"Leave," the male found his nerves starting to boil again.
"But what're ya' doin'?" she asked again with a frown, her pink eyes full of concern.
"I told you not to worry about it. Just go."
"Are ya' okay?"
"Anti-Wanda!" he suddenly snapped, causing her to jump. "I know you're probably the daftest person in the universe, and I realize that it's hard for you to understand the simplest of tasks, but when I tell you to get out, I mean it! I want to be alone right now. Can your puny brain understand that? Can you're negative I.Q. allow you to process that? Get out of my sight and go do…whatever it is you do! Now! GO!"
" But I…I jus' wanted…" her voice cracked with tears.
"I don't care what you wanted! Just leave!" Anti-Cosmo hissed, breathing heavily; however, once he took in the woman's appearance, his features softened and he was immediately racked with guilt.
Anti-Wanda still hovered in the doorway, doubled over with her arms covering her stomach. Her rosy eyes were clenched tightly shut as she attempted to keep her growing sobs under control, but after a few more moments, it all became too much for her as she burst into a fit of hysteric sobs, then turned and zipped out of the room.
Anti-Cosmo silently cursed himself. He had promised himself that he would punish anyone who upset his wife to the point of tears, and many still feared accidentally hurting her because they didn't want to face their ruler's wrath; however, he had never been the one to cause her such pain before. He and Anti-Wanda had a few misunderstandings here and there, but he had never outright yelled at her. The male sighed as he took off after her.
"Anti-Wanda!" he called. "Anti-Wanda!"
After a moment, he heard the faint sounds of her crying and followed them upstairs to their bedroom where he found his poor wife balled up in the closet in the corner bawling into both her hands, which were resting on her knees.
"Anti-Wanda," he spoke softly as he sat on his knees in front of her.
The woman took her hands away from her eyes and peered over her knees as she looked into his face.
"I want to apologize," he continued.
"You yelled at me!" she bellowed as she placed her face back into her hands.
"I know, my evil dearest. That is why I am apologizing," he frowned.
"You've never done that before!" she wailed.
"I know," the fanged male's shoulders slumped. "I'm just…so angry. I didn't mean to take it out on you."
"Angry 'bout what?" Anti-Wanda sniffed, peering up at him once more.
"About today. I feel like a failure, Anti-Wanda," he admitted, while casting his piercing green eyes toward the ground.
Anti-Wanda gasped. It wasn't like her husband to admit something like that so freely. If he was opening up to her, then something must truly be bothering him.
"Is…is that why you were mussin' up yer room?" she blinked.
He nodded, and the female took in her husband's dejected persona with a frown. She knew something was wrong when she heard all the commotion behind the double doors of his study. Anti-Cosmo's study was his sanctuary. If anyone else was ever in the castle – which was a rare occurrence – that room was strictly off-limits. In fact, it was usually off-limits to her! He did not like his things touched or messed with, so she was only allowed inside on occasion with strict supervision from her husband.
Upon hearing all the crashing and banging, she decided to venture inside to make sure everything was all right, and was shocked to find him throwing everything about. She'd actually been floating in the doorway for a minute or two before he even knew she was there! She'd even said his name, but he was too wrapped up in his rampage to hear. But she had been stunned at the sight of the room, especially at the books thrown everywhere. She could tell some of the covers and pages were now bent, and a few that had been really old had fallen apart completely at the rough handling, so if Anti-Cosmo was riled up enough to ruin his precious books, then she knew something truly had to be wrong.
"Lie down," she suggested, straightening out her legs and patting her lap.
"Anti-Wanda…" the blue male shook his head skeptically.
"Come on! You'll feel better! I promise!"
"I don't think…"
"Jus' do it!" she smiled as she pulled him toward her.
"Fine. I will humor you," he raised an eyebrow as he laid his head in her lap.
"You say that ev'ry time," she began running her fingers through his hair soothingly.
"I know," he whispered as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of her soft touch.
"It'll be okay," she cooed. "Yer nex' plan'll work."
"That is what you said last time," he flared his nostrils. "And the time before that, and the time before that, AND THE TIME BEFORE THAT!"
He suddenly slammed his right fist onto the floor, causing Anti-Wanda to shriek and jump in surprise while pulling her hands back.
"Sorry," he forced himself to relax. "I realize you're only saying it to make me feel better, but I'm growing weary, Anti-Wanda. I'm starting to wonder if my 'next time' will ever actually come."
"But…I don' jus' say it. I mean it," Anti-Wanda frowned down at her spouse.
"You mean it?" Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "After each of my failed plans, you truly believe that next time will be the time I actually succeed?"
"O' course," the woman beamed as she went back to playing with her husband's hair. "Yer smart. An' one-a these times it will be the nex' plan. I know it will. You'll figger somethin' out."
"Today I nearly tasted victory," Anti-Cosmo sighed, fixing his gaze straight ahead of him, mesmerized by nothing in particular. "We were there, Anti-Wanda. I could see the finish line! We were so close! But at the last second, my plan fell apart. Like always. My victory slipped through my fingers like sand. I just…I'm so sick of this. Why is it that none of my plans can ever come to full fruition?"
"I dunno," she shrugged. "But if yer nex' plan don't work either, then that'll be good too."
"How so?"
"Cuz when yer plans don' work, then we do this," she smiled as she continued running her hands through his mane.
"And you like when I'm down and out?" he spoke with an annoyed monotone.
"No. I jus' like bein' with ya'. An' I get ta' help ya'! You always take care-a me, an' now's the only time I ever get ta' take care-a you fer a change."
The fanged male smiled.
"An' hey!" Anti-Wanda suddenly continued. "Now that we had a sorta-vic'try, then maybe you can work harder ta' make a really, really great plan that'll work nex' time!"
"Well, as optimistic as you are about it, I'm afraid that the rest of our clan loses faith in me each time one of my brilliant schemes is foiled," Anti-Cosmo closed his eyes. "They are all counting on me. I'm under a great deal of pressure because of that, and the more times I fail, the more I feel they are beginning to view me as inept. And I hate being looked down on."
The woman blinked in surprise as the two sat in silence for a few moments. He felt inept? She wasn't entirely certain of the meaning of the word, but she knew he had used it before to describe her, so she always associated it with her stupidity. Her husband was many things, but stupid was not one of them, and she couldn't understand how he could think others could view him as such. She frowned for a moment before she finally thought of something to say. The swirly-haired female stopped playing with his hair and looked down at him.
"I still believe in you, Anti-Cozzie," the swirly-haired female bent over and gave the male a peck on the head.
He chuckled lightly, a slight smile playing on his lips again.
"Well, at least I will still have you."
"You'll always have me!" she chirped brightly.
"Yes. For better or for worse. I know."
"This is a better right?" she asked nervously while wringing her hands.
Anti-Cosmo chuckled again, sitting up this time and taking his wife's right hand into his left.
"Yes, Anti-Wanda. This is one of the better times," he gently kissed the top of her hand, causing her to giggle and blush.
"So d'ya feel better now?"
"I do, Anti-Wanda," he admitted with a smirk.
"I know ya' get real upset when one-a yer plans fails. I only ever jus' wanna help ya'."
"I know, Anti-Wanda. And for that, I am quite grateful. I take things hard. I always have. And before you came into my life, I had been known to disappear for weeks on end, just sitting in solitude and beating myself up over my failures. You always seem to be able to pull me out of my funks fairly quickly."
"An' you like that, right?"
"Quite," he nodded curtly. "If I didn't, you know I wouldn't allow you to comfort me. I may be more open with you, but even you should know I'm not that touchy-feely. If I want my space, you know it."
"But that makes me sad cuz I like to be touchy-feely," the dim female suddenly snuggled up close to her husband, who recoiled slightly at the sudden contact; however, he slowly accepted it and even pulled her closer.
"I think ya' secretly like bein' close ta me," Anti-Wanda nuzzled him happily.
"Well, if I were to compromise for anyone's needs, it would only be yours, my evil love."
"I'm glad ya' feel better. I don' like when yer upset."
"Likewise, Anti-Wanda," the dapper anti-fairy rested his chin atop her hair.
"So what're ya gonna do 'bout yer room?"
"We'll get it cleaned up and back in order. But for now," he spoke seductively as he scooped up his wife, causing her to giggle, "I believe I need to thank-you."
"Does that mean what I think it means?" Anti-Wanda perked up, a broad smile encompassing her face.
"Indeed it does," he growled while carrying his wife back out into their bedroom.
Anti-Cosmo, the man revered as the most evil and most feared anti-fairy in the realm was not without his faults and insecurities; however, when he was with his wife, she always seemed to have the uncanny ability of melting all of them away for him. And he truly was grateful for it. He had wasted away many valuable minutes sulking and berating himself before she came along. With her there to support him, he was able to get back up on the horse a little faster and resume his reign of evil. She was an oddball of an anti-fairy – fearing the dark, liking to be close to others, strangely endearing – and yet she was exactly what he needed. And if he had to choose between finally accomplishing world domination or having his wife by his side, he would most certainly choose her. Having her there to comfort him and pick him back up was much better than being alone – something he learned nearly 10,000 years ago.
And so it was because of her and her encouragement that he would get back up and keep going every time. He honestly didn't know what he would do without her. He was nearly certain that he would have descended into a pit of complete madness long before now had she not been there to cheer him up. Anti-Wanda may not be the brightest, but she certainly knew just what to say. He truly did love her, and she deserved so much more in his eyes. So he would continue to come up with plots and schemes so that one day, when he finally succeeded, she would sit by his side as his queen.
However, if at the end of the day he still hadn't succeeded in his desires, he knew for a fact that Anti-Wanda would always be there, and he may never admit it aloud, but even if his plans never succeeded he would still be content because she was all he truly needed.
But total world domination would be nice as well.
DGG: I hope you all enjoyed the story! Feel free to leave me a review! Until next time, lovely readers!