For the first time that day he could really look at her. He had seen her throughout the day, but now in the aftermath of the operation, he was really looking at her. It was unusual seeing her in a gentleman's three piece suit. Somehow it made her even more fascinating.
Of course he was used to seeing her in the trousers and jacket of the Amestrian military uniform. But somehow the civilian suit was, different. Yet he couldn't say exactly what the difference was. Truth was she always looked good. There was something about the way she carried herself. Something, about her. She could be dressed in a calico sack and still look amazing. But seeing her in that dark striped suit, he was mesmerised.
The slightly loose fit of the coat had been an attempt to hide her feminine physique. Her close cropped hair and the hat pulled low had also helped. And surprisingly the ruse had worked long enough to successfully complete the mission. But now as he watched her walk across the office, he couldn't take his eyes off her.
As she moved to her desk, she slipped off the coat and hung it over her chair. If the coat had been baggy, the vest was an entirely different story. She'd made sure the vest was a good fit so she could access her weapons without loose fabric getting in the way. The way the vest fitted was excruciatingly attractive. Even though he was well aquatinted with her torso, albeit through difficult circumstances, something about the vest highlighted the lines of her body in a whole new way.
And he had no idea why the crossed pattern the holster straps made across her back and shoulders was so deeply intriguing. Suddenly all he could think of was gently laying his hands against her collar bones, slipping them along under the holster straps and across to her shoulders. Then leisurely sliding the leather straps down her arms.
But without doubt the sight that most excited his attention was the tie. Good god, what was it about that black tie? The more he looked at the knot of the tie the more he felt a lump twist in his own throat. He remembered watching her as she'd put it on that morning. Her hands deftly laying the tie around the high stiff collar, then folding the knot with ease and setting it at the perfect angle in front of her throat. There was something completely captivating seeing how the tie lay around her neck. The way the perfectly tied Windsor knot sat nuzzled against her throat. The thought of standing in front of her, reaching up and gradually loosening the knot, fingers gently tugging at the folds, until he was left with the tie loose in his hands. Then one hand gently, slowly pulling, feeling the black tie slide away around her neck until she was free of it.
As he continued to look at the tie, to look at her, he could feel a growing pulse thumping somewhere deep inside. Some days it was hard to control his thoughts. He didn't want to stop looking at her. Didn't want to stop thinking of the supple curve of her throat just below the black tie. He knew he shouldn't indulge himself. It would do neither of them any good.
Maybe he shouldn't have asked her to follow him. Perhaps if she were serving under another officer, or had left the military entirely, then perhaps they could be together all the ways their current choices denied them. But their choices, and their promises, defined them.
He knew how deeply, how completely she trusted him. Beyond all the secrets and power she had entrusted him with, beyond the intimacy of entrusting him to save her from the burden she carried, she trusted him in their mundane day to day existence not create situations that neither of them wanted to pull away from. She trusted him to be her superior officer. No more, no less.
As she settled into her chair he chose to look away. There maybe a time for acting on the thoughts the sight of the black tie brought to mind, but not today. Today it was enough to serve as her Colonel.