voices off camera

by 7th fire

the cast of final fantasy behind the scenes and behind. the casts exploits while in the making of ff7 advent children. the story behind the making of the film. as told from the mouths of avalanche themselves. m for language and suggestive themes.

1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer. I dont own.. so dont sue.

Foreword: the cast of the series ff7 have been preparing for the making of the movie advent children since even before the end of the original ff7. This is the story that unfolds behind the scenes. The truth behind everyones favorite hero's and vilians. The hardships they go through for our entertainment. And the insanity that it takes to be a star.

:voices off camera.:

:can you hear the voices that are calling out your name twisting your arm holding up their hands and pulling at your strings? Can you feel this underlying sense of urgency or are you as blind as me? Well I hit the ground and im still running but I need a place to stay tonight I swear ill be gone in the morning I just need somewhere now.: (voices off camera. Rise against. Revolutions per minute)

{the gag reel}

cloud, cid, vincent, and barret are standing side by side at attention.

:cloud: "hi im cloud strife here with vincent valentine, cid highwind, and barret wallace, oh and... welcome to jackass final fantasy style." at the end of his sentence vincent turns quickly and kicks him in the groin. "ahhh. Damnit."

:vincent.: "oh... were we rolling? Sorry about that." he tries to contain his laughter at the blonde writhing in pain on the floor next to him.

[fifteen minutes later]

:director.: "okay. Cloud this is the scene where aerith comes in. now I want you to close your eyes five seconds and then give it the soulful look when you open them."

:cloud: "soulful... what? you want me to start singing the 80s"

:director: "just give it some feeling... now we're on in 3. 2. 1 action!"

aerith moves on stage in front of the green screen and stands back to back with cloud

:aerith: "you came... why did you come"

:cloud: trying very hard to keep a straight face he speaks slowly "because you have a nice ass." he cracks and aerith turns to give him a scolding smirk.

:director.: "damnit cloud... cut! Alright take five and be back for take 4"

[back stage interview with vincent]

:reporter: "mister valentine whats it like to be concidered the secondary hero of the series."

:vincent: "well I kina feel like robin... just fewer tights and pedofilia comments. I mean the character is stoic but he's the badass everyone wants to be. I mean aside for being slightly antisocial he's a well spoken well rounded character. In my opinion he should be taken off side and made a main character in his own right."

:reporter: "and what about the rest of the actors here? How does it feel to be and work with some of the most critically acclaimed figures in todays popular society?"

:vincent.: "what can I say clouds a great guy. Nothing like the character he portrays. And tifa sweet girl really. Barret's a piece of work and cids two sheets in the wind half the time but as cool as they come. Its a lot of fun working with them. Especially when we've got the major scenes going."

:reporter: "thank you for the time mister valentine. Theres a small look at vincent now lets see what the others have to say"

[backstage]

:sephiroth: "alright lets try that one more time" he clears his throat "i will... never... go hungry again..." he cracks.

:tifa: "you forgot your line again didnt you?"

:sephiroth: "im sorry." he laughs mildly "can we redo that?"

[take 4 vision of aerith]

:director: "good good. Now this is the part where you grab his arm." he watches pointing to the actors for effect to the cameramen "and cloud... cloud"

:cloud: "i see dead people..." he wispers as he looks to the camera with a falsified fear plastered on his face

:director: "cut cut cut. Alright study the lines again we're rolling in twenty. Tifa baby this is your scene with denzel. Get up here."

[backstage interview with aerith]

:reporter: "so tell us. Whats it like being a possible love intrest for the main character?"

:aerith: "well through original ff7 it was fun playing around. I was kina that sidescroll character that always seemed to get cloud into the worst posible situations and I kina like playing the damsel in distress."

:reporter: "whats it like working with cloud?"

:aerith: "he's a card. He's funny and always seems to find a way to turn the mood around when the director clearly wants his emo side to come out. Sometimes I think he's bipolar. He jokes on stage and laughs when everyone else is in a dower mood. But when he finaly has all his lines and the mindset to portray his character he's as cool as ice. He doesnt stutter a word and he makes the lonely hero persona look easy."

:reporter: "are the roomers true? Is there a thing between the two of you? A little love triangle."

:aerith: "absolutely not im happily engaged. And though he's nice he's just not my type. Dont believe everything you hear. The movie is only a movie. Nothing more. We act for the sake of the show we dont take on our characters lives. They take on ours."

:reporter: "well thank you for the interview miss Gainsborough. Now Im afraid we're out of time for the moment. Can we perhaps get another interview later?"

:aerith.: "ill see what I can do"

[bahamut's attack take 1 enter barret]

:director.: "beautiful baby the camera loves you.. now bahamut knocks you down..." tifa falls to the floor "perfect now. Denzel you get up... great. And barret this is your shot make it count."

denzle stands and runs at the green screen shouting and barrett steps onto the stage.

:barrett: "who yo daddy." he laughs as the director shakes his head "cus if that you mama... I could be yo daddy" at this point tifa now has a scolding look on her face. "at least id like to be yo daddy"

:director.: "cut cut. Barrett baby come on you gota work with me. Did you forget the line?"

:barrett: "na I was just bein honest" he laughed loudly before tifa rose and stormed out of the room.

:tifa: "i swear one of these day's im gona show up in a bikini and then we'll see who's laughing."

[backstage interview with barrett]

:reporter: "mister wallace can we get a few words?"

:barrett: "i have a few words fo ya" he folds his arms in mock aggitation "na im just shittin ya. Now what you want?"

:reporter: "how do you feel about working with the cast here?"

:barrett: "its a blast. Cool props, kick ass scripts, and hot babes everywhere. Yeah its all cool here."

:reporter: "what has been your favorite coworker here at the filming of advent children"

:barrett: "ima say... hell ill say either cloud or tifa... yeah both of them are awesome guys... teefs is a real go getter and cloud.. well he's just cloud... yeah that spike haired mutha is one funny guy."

:reporter: "some have said that the rolls that some of you play would be better left to other actors is that true"

:barrett: "man I pitty tha fool... who said dat? aint eva heard such crap in ma life."

:reporter: "so you dissagree?"

:barrett: "hell yeah. Who else is gona play my part... they all too damn ugly.. you cant replace this specimen" he strikes a pose and flexes his arms "na no damn way. We the best there is"

:reporter: "well thank you for your time mister wallace we hope to see you again soon."

:barrett: "yeah I here ya. Later"

[take 5 vision of aerith]

:director: "alright now lets try this again and cloud please no more antics."

:cloud: "aww come on you ruin all the fun" he frowned and assumed his position on stage.

:director: "good... and we're rolling" they repeat the scenes actions once more and aerith grabs clouds arm "good now remember your lines"

:cloud: "you mean the line I did off her chest earlier?" he mutters under his breath the camera focuses on aerith.

:director: "shh... we cant cut all the audio but ill let that slide."

:aerith: "wow cloud is that your sword or are you just happy to see me?"

:director: "cut!" he rubs his brow in frustration

:cloud: "oh yeah baby" he turns around and grabs her by her waist giving her a quick tug so that their faces are only inches apart "hail to the king baby" she laughs and pushes him away.

:aerith: "maybe you should do a few more 'lines' first" she giggles as she turns to leave

:director: "why me?"

[interview with cloud]

:cloud: "so it was me vince and teef the other night and he was like out of his mind wasted. She was drunk and well... oh hey guys whats up" he breaks conversation with cid.

:reporter: "mister strife a few words?"

:cloud: "maybe. What you wana hear?"

:reporter: "we're actually short of time I wanted to ask for an indepth interview at a later day"

:cloud: "you bring the drinks ill bring the entertainment. Its a date."

:reporter: "thank you mister strife"

:cloud: "knock off the mister stuff. Im not that polite" he chuckles as he waves the reporter off.

:reporter: "thank you again."

:cloud: "anytime."

[finish of vision of aerith]

:director: "great job guys. We'll call it a wrap for the day and ill see you all in the morning."

:cloud: "damn this scene gives a whole knew twist on my thoughts on necrophelia" he laughs as aerith shoves him playfully

:aerith: "you clown. You just wish I were that loose."

:cloud: "what cant a guy dream?"

:aerith: "whatever just keep dreaming. You know youll never get any of this" she seductively pulls at the front of her shirt revealing her cleavage. "too bad... just no skill."

:cloud: "such a tease for a zombie.. you can 'eat my brain' any time you want to." he folds his arms and waggles his eyebrow.

:tifa: "okay guys im gone. Ill see you later. Come on denzle."

:remaining cast in unison: "bye tifa"

{close of gag reel}