The Jerry Springer Special
By: Allisonabcde12345
Summary: Harry Potter decides to take a different approach to the war. He came into the living room one day and saw his cousin watching a show called Jerry Springer.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters in this fan fiction. I have not actually seen a story yet that has said that they owned it, so hence, all I can conclude is that this is a site for amateurs to do what they like best, write.
Rating: M Just because it is jerry Springer.
Warning: this will be a lot of AU because it is a magical item that is going to be discussed on a muggle television show. All characters were humiliated by the public watching during the making of this fan fiction.
"Ok, today we have a very weird situation on hand that I was just informed of myself a couple of days ago. This problem is going to be different from anything we would normally see on Jerry Springer. I hope that we will be able to help this young man. Therefore, everyone lets meet Harry Potter. Harry how about you tell us what your problem is?"
"Well Jerry to just get right to the point I have this headmaster who is a bitch, and a madman who is trying to kill me. And, I hate the headmaster for being a manipulative son of a bitch. And, I hate this madman well for being a madman."
'Oo, well I see that you are quite upset about all of this. So, uh, what are you planning on doing about all of this?"
"Well, I came on here to basically kick their ass!"
(Chants of Jerry start)
"Well, how exactly is this guy trying to kill you? I mean I am sure you don't mean literally?"
Harry laughs at the obvious response from Jerry.
"No Jerry you see I am something called a Wizard. You know with the magic and everything."
"Uh-huh…"
"Here let me show you what I mean." Lumos.
A ball of yellow light appeared from the tip of his wand.
"Nice hat tricks, now let's um, yea you said that this headmaster is manipulative? Ok let's go on ahead and bring him out."
The aged wizard who had no idea what this show was for stepped out of the studio that he was asked to leave and came out to see Harry now standing and casting a glance at the muggles that were in the room.
"Harry, you and I know that you are supposed to be at the Dursleys and you are not supposed to be using magic affront of all of these muggles."
"Fuck you old man! I have had to put up with your shit for too long. All I just wanted was a normal life, I never asked for a stupid prophecy over me, I never wanted to have to be the "savior" of the wizarding world, and I never wanted to have to be strong, be rich, and have to fight all of my life. I just wanted to live and love, and maybe one day marry Ginny Weasley. (Harry had learned that after seventh year that he actually was attracted to Ginny)"
"Harry you know that I cannot allow you to continue this rant. You are delirious, let's just go back to the school and I am sure Madam Pomfrey will be more than glad to fix something up for you."
"You just don't get it do you old man? You have no right to control me. You have no right to tell me what to do! I am twenty-one years old! I am a legal adult in the muggle, and in the wizarding world. I control my own life, so either go fuck yourself, or get ready to get fucked!"
"Now wait you two what exactly has caused all of this commotion and hatred towards each other? I get the feeling that you both have had many words to each other before, and that you both disagree on many items. Let's start at the beginning ok?"
Dumbledore tried to answer first and say that he would give his story to explain everything in explicit details. However, Harry would not have any of it.
"I don't think so! You will just manipulate even Jerry here, we will let the people see this, and I have been kind enough to make a recording from pensive memories and then record them onto what the muggles call a "Cam Recorder"."
Dumbledore looked in amaze as a giant LCD screen came down from the ceiling and started to make a buzzing sound and then made a gasp as pictures all too well started to play.
It was first year, the boy stood in the hospital wing so apparently in pain that anyone would had gasp and ask what madman had caused this, the man who was responsible came up to the young boy in pain, and all he asked was if the boy was ok. Of course, the boy is not ok! He was bleeding and had bruises all over. The boy obviously had been injured quite badly, from something that the old man had caused on purpose, but why? The boy asked why this was happening in his life, and the old man only diverted and threw away the conversation as if it was nothing, like he was only a little boy who had never seen death.
It was second year; the boy leaned back against the wall with a fang now on the floor beside him. The boy was in pain holding his arm, a strange bird made of fire crying on him causing his wound to heal. The boy hissed in anguish pain as he recounted a similar fate as last year happening, and now him having to fight a legendary snake that would forever be recorded in the muggle world as the largest snake ever seen. The old man once more showed up and all that was asked was if he was ok. The boy looked at the old man in anguish anger and frustration, that was the first time he felt betrayed, felt like he wanted to kill the old man, but he would not bring himself to do it.
It was third year, the boy was hugging someone so dear to him, someone who loved him as his own son, the boy waved, and tears fell from his eyes when this stranger left. It showed the boy having to cower in the corner, facing death, facing what looked to be a group, no a herd, yes a herd of grim reapers, but they were not death, something worse, something unknown.
It was fourth year; the boy is thrown into a game of challenges of death that no one his age should have to deal with. He fought with all of his might and is victorious somehow. Even though, it should not be possible. The old man just watched from afar, rubbing his chin, thinking to his own self that this is the light for the boy, he must face this. However, what boy truly deserves this?
It is his fifth year, the man from his third year falls, falls and never returns through what seems to be a powerful artifact, later what would be discovered as an alien warfare portal that was confiscated so many centuries ago, but then somehow mysteriously was stolen from the muggles. The muggles would have revenge. The boy looked on in tears, as blood was spilt, innocent blood, loved blood, true blood of heritage. The old man watched from afar as he saw a much-paled man fighting the boy with power that is unseen, that not even Hollywood could make, power that emanated even onto the screen, causing the old man to even cringe. The boy stood back up, he would not bow to the scaled one. The old man, he appears in a flash of lightening mostly for drama probably, he makes a show of saying that Harry can fight this possession, a true demonic possession the muggles believe, and the catholic in the crowd would later holler an "Amen." The boy frees his self from the scaled one, and then the old man starts to fight the scaled one. The boy is protected by statues that fight for the boy, the old man looks at Harry with what is supposed to be love, but what will be shown in a few hours away will cause even more, the old man knows and he was hiding it, how will this affect what was planned for later? The boy and the old man return to a strange office full of pictures with various moving people, this amuses the muggles, which later give the muggles the idea to make recordable picture frames. The boy hears that only he can stop the true destruction in the supposable "wizarding world." The boy stares at the old man, his mouth agape in the expression of "you bastard! You fucking bastard you're just NOW telling me this!"
A/N for the last two years in recording, in this story Dumbledore lives and I still have not read Deathly Hollows so I make it however I want sorry if you don't like it)
It is sixth year; the boy is wrung once more into a battle that cannot be fought. A giant black shadowed castle is shown. A young blonde and silvery haired boy steps out of the shadow he shoots a spell that freezes the old man, the old man waves his hand causing Harry to fly into a wall and be covered by his strange clothing that makes it so he cannot be seen by anyone. The boy watches in horror as his professor shoots a green light out of his wand at the old man, the old man calls for his fateful phoenix who takes the shot, and a shot that saves him, the old man falls to the ground in exhaustion, and the other men run , they run back to the scaled one, they are being called.
It is seventh year, he is graduating now, he is holding hands with a red headed girl who is being called Ginny, and their house is attacked. The same green light hits the red headed girl, her eyes whiten to nothing, and one last stare at the boy affront of her shows the true pain inside of them. She falls down to the ground dead, and the boy in anger, his aura of anger and of love of power emanates, the death eaters since danger and start to try to retreat,, somehow a wall of magical power blocks their escape, they use a rope to try to escape to no avail. The boy raises his wand and shouts the same words repeatedly at the same people who shot that green light at his beloved. All of the death eaters fall, death lies in the air, the boy falls to the ground by his fallen beloved and weeps and falls unconscious. The old man will come in later, remove the spells from the boy's wand, and then change his memory, only to find out later that it did not do anything. The old man then tells the authorities in red robes that seem to be made of some sort of leather a fake and truly false story of how he came and was able to save the boy, but the boy in rage from his fallen beloved used a pole to crush all of the death eaters, the authority didn't even dare to question the man but just nodded, if they had done an autopsy they would had known it was a lie.
It was 4 years later, the old man and the boy still are having arguments, and the war that has been shown is still roaring on. Then the screen fades.
Not a sound could be heard in the place, all eyes were on the old man, some felt like it was an abuse of power, others thought that he was a lunatic, or was the true "loony". Others did not know what to think, a couple even agreed with the old man perhaps.
The boy by this time had stood up he had his fists risen in anger, in pain, the boy truly did care about his fallen beloved. What did he have to show for it? Nothing, nothing to show for it.
"I HATE YOU! YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY LIFE! I CANNOT EVEN LIVE WITHOUT YOU SOMEHOW TRYING TO CONTROL ME, AND WHENEVER I TRY TO HELP YOU, I JUST LOSE ANOTHER LOVED ONE! RON! MY BEST FRIEND, MY FIRST AND ONLY TRUE FRIEND. DEAD! SHOT DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU HAD HIM GO SPY, BUT NO! NO! YOU SAY HE WILL BE OK! YOU SAID HE WAS PERFECTLY SAFE WITH YOUR BIRD, WELL SEE WHAT THAT DID! DO YOU! HE IS DEAD! MY ONLY FRIEND IS DEAD!
Jerry walked up to the boy, with even tears in his careless eyes. He frowned at the young man for a second then gave a shy grin, he said, "Harry we all have lusts, and I know your life has been unfair, you did not have what any teenager should have had. I give my condolences, but let us not make this a scene. We need to all just say sorry."
What Jerry did not realize was that the boy was far-gone and far past angry, he was fucking angry. He was destructive angry. He wanted to see justice, and had not seen it in so many years, if not ever!
The boy turned his head at Jerry and said in very gritted teeth, "Get- Your – Hand- Off – Of – Me- Now!"
Jerry on instinct more or less let go of the boy and stepped back in fear, there was a strange aura around the boy that proved there was love and compassion in the world.
"All I ever wanted was for you to love me, but no instead I get this. I do not get compassion! I do not get love! I do not even get the likes of you to care for what I want, for what I had, for what I may have wanted in life. I was always your pawn, your little baby your little doll your toy to just mess with. To make a game out of wasn't I? How would you feel if I was the same way with you old man? "
To Be Continued
A/N A couple of notes.
I am sorry that it took me so long but life gets in the way.
If there are any errors I do apologize, I got tired of correcting in spell check( lol)
This was originally going to be a oneshot, but I kind of got into this story, I may turn this into like a two or three chapter story, I guess it really depends on what I can think of…don't suspect an update on anything for a while I have a lot of work to finish for college still and then that is only counting school…with a girlfriend and other items it can become kind of hectic.
Merry Christmas to all!