Title: Not Fair
Rating: M
Genre: General
Summary: "I swear Mel, it's not fair!" she complained throwing herself on her friend's hotel room bed. "He's the sexiest man in the universe, the champ for cryin' out loud. Super freakin' Cena! Why. Is. He. So. Horrible. In. Bed?!"
Disclaimer: I own no one, WWE is owned by Vince McMahon.
A/n: I was inspired by Lily Allen's song "Not Fair".
-Start-
"Open the door!" Adrian banged on her friend's hotel room door. She waited a few more seconds before the door flew opened. Melina stared at her friend not looking happy, her hand on her hip.
"Yes?" she asked.
Adrian rolled her eyes. "Mel, I had the worst night last night."
"The worse night?" Melina raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "You were with John Cena…how the hell could that be the worse night?"
"I know, I was surprised too." Adrian sighed while barging into the room pushing Melina aside rudely. "I swear Mel, it's not fair!" she complained throwing herself on her friend's hotel room bed. "He's the sexiest man in the universe, the champ for cryin' out loud. Super freakin' Cena! Why. Is. He. So. Horrible. In. Bed?!"
"Dramatic much?" she swung the door closed and walked to her bed before sitting down. When she didn't get a response from the brunette woman she spoke again. "Well…John Cena, horrible in bed…who would've thunk it?"
"Tell me about it." She bit her bottom lip before speaking again. "But you can't tell anyone, think about it. If this got out Cena wouldn't have any fans left." She joked; she couldn't name not one John Cena fan or hater who wouldn't fuck him if they had the chance. Boy, were the 'lucky' ones in for a surprise.
"I'm sure it's not that bad. Maybe next time you can give him a few lessons?"
"There's not going to be a next time, Mel." She replied.
"Oh, damn. Was he not big enough?"
Adrian laughed. "Who? Dick Hammerbush?" she now laughed even harder. Once she stopped laughing she replied. "I guess he's maybe five or six inches."
"Johnny's at least a good seven." Melina brung her boyfriend in the mix. "Maybe it's because he's not good in the ring so he's not good in bed."
"I don't think that's it."
Melina nodded. "Or, or…" her eyes widened a little at the thought. "Maybe he's just used to giving it in the backdoor."
"What? Mel are you suggesting he's gay?"
She smiled. "No," she answered in a light tone. "I'm just saying maybe he likes giving anal."
Adrian wasn't convinced. "Um, no…I think you meant it as if he's gay. But, I don't think that's the case."
"Maybe he is gay and is just not used to being with someone with a vagina…you do have a vagina right? Maybe you just have a secret penis and he saw it."
The brunette punched Melina in the arm lightly. "Fuck you."
"Me? Well, I've never been one for girl on girl, but if it makes up for Cena being so horrible then sure."
She rolled her eyes. "Guess its back to the vibrator for me."
"Maybe you just need to sleep with a real man."
"John is a real man…who happens to suck in the sack."
The Women's champion bust out laughing. "You said suck...and in the sack…and haha."
Adrian looked at the diva strangely. "That wasn't funny. And, I was the one doing the actual sucking. I had him screaming, yet he couldn't make me scream not once. I didn't even orgasm, and he came before I did!"
Melina stood from the bed. "I don't know what to tell you…I've never had that problem." She grinned and held out her hand to Adrian.
"If you go into how great Johnny is again I'll cut your hair off while you're sleep." She took the woman's hand and stood up from the bed.
Both of the women left the room in silence and headed to the hotel elevator to get some breakfast in the hotel restaurant.
"Hey, Addie!" John Cena had called jogging up to the two girls who were waiting for the elevator door to open. "Had fun last night," he slugged his arm around Adrian's shoulder grinning from ear to ear.
The two girls exchanged look and struggled to hold in their laughter.
"We should do that again something." he continued.
The elevator door opened, Melina walked in. Adrian shook her head sadly. "Never again, Cena…never again." She patted him on the back before joining Melina in the elevator. He watched in confusion as both girls took one look at him as the doors closed and burst into giggles.
-End-
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A/n: Ash wrote me a (or is than an oneshot? It sounds better with 'a' instead of 'an' which is proper?) oneshot the other day, so returning the favor. Hehe. Oh, and for the record I would bet serious money on John Cena being amazing in bed XD.