I … wow.
This is …
I cradle this tiny miracle against my chest, against the thudding heart that seems to have expanded a thousand times since I held my baby, my baby, for the first time.
"Well done," Madam Pomfrey tells me, as if I've handed in a particularly good piece of homework, and I beam back. I did this. I brought this wonderful little boy into the world.
I did, and so did James.
He taps on the door, and slides back into the bedroom, grinning. "Sirius is coming," he tells me, face alight. "He can't wait to see his godson! Can I hold him?"
"Go ahead," Madam Pomfrey tells him kindly. She's got a bit of a soft spot for James, Sirius and Peter, she told me, after seeing them visit Remus in the hospital wing after every full moon. She doesn't know that they didn't just visit him, but I'm hardly going to tell her.
James perches cautiously on the bed beside me and I hand him our beautiful baby, wrapped in blankets. James holds him tentatively at first, and then he lifts a finger and holds it aloft above the blankets. A tiny pink hand reaches up and grabs it.
I'm hardly aware that I'm crying until James looks at me, grinning broadly, and snorts. "Only you could cry," he says wonderingly. "You're supposed to be happy!"
"I am happy," I tell him. "Look at him! He's ours! He's our child!"
"A mix of the two of us," James agrees solemnly.
"God forbid," I giggle thickly.
"I'll leave you two alone, shall I?" says Madam Pomfrey with a smile, and she slips out of the room, leaving James and I and our child.
Our child.
Blimey.
"Just think!" I say, leaning over with a wince to peer into the blankets. "He's going to grow up … go to Hogwarts …"
"Play Quidditch!" says James euphorically. "He'll be top in Transfiguration."
"And Potions and Charms."
"He'll cause all sorts of mischief. Filch will hate him."
"No one could hate him. Look at that little face! Oh, James, look! He's smiling!"
The little mouth turns upwards, the misty eyes blink, and my heart swells.
"Who's eyes d'you think he'll have?" James asks interestedly.
At the moment, it's difficult to tell. "Mine," I say decisively. "He's got your hair."
"He has," James says fondly, stroking the few strands of jet-black hair. "I hope he'll have your eyesight." He studies our baby intensively for a moment. "Do you know, he actually looks a lot like I do in my baby pictures."
"I look like my sister in my baby pictures."
"Oh." James grimaces. "Oh well. He's going to be very handsome, I can tell."
"I wonder what wand he'll have?" I say, remembering the day I chose my own wand. The bit I had been looking forward to most of all …
"Never mind that," says James enthusiastically, "I wonder what broom he'll have? They get better every year, there'll be some brilliant ones out by the time he's eleven. Money is not an issue. I want him to have the best possible." I remind him gently about the first-year rule.
"Oh well," he says again, shrugging.
I laugh and kiss him on the cheek.
"What was that for?" he asks, beaming once more.
"I love you," I tell him happily.
"I love you too," says James. His face falls once more. "Lily - it's going to be OK, isn't it? With our baby. He's not going to be dangerous, is he?"
I don't want to discuss this. I hadn't even thought about that. Our child can't possibly be dangerous. He's just a baby. I look at him, and can't help wondering what on Earth the 'power the Dark Lord knows not' could be.
"Dumbledore doesn't think he will be," I say instead, "and anyway, it might not be him. It might be Frank and Alice's baby."
"It might be."
There's silence for a few minutes as we think. I can practically hear James's thoughts thumping around his head.
CRASH.
"What was that?" I say in shock, the silence broken. My son - my son! - squirms in James's arms. James doesn't seem too bothered by the disturbance.
"Sirius," he says absently.
Sure enough, a moment later, James's best friend bursts through the door.
"Congratulations!" he cries merrily. I notice that he's clutching a toy black dog, and stifle a giggle. "Congratulations, Lily - and Prongs - let's see the little man!"
James hands him the bundle of blankets and I cross my fingers under the bedclothes.
"You will be godfather, won't you?" James says casually, and Sirius gives a bark-like laugh.
"You don't even need to ask," he assures us, grinning down at his godson. "Charming! He looks very like a baby, I suppose that's good news. What's his name?"
I don't believe it - we hadn't even thought of that.
"Err," says James, glancing at me.
"Oh!" I say suddenly, remembering. "We decided, didn't we? The other night? Lucy for a girl, and Harry for a boy?"
"Yeah!" says James. "I remember now! Harry!"
"Hey, Harry," says Sirius, pulling a silly face at the blankets, and from within them comes, unmistakeably, a giggle. James and I look at each other in awe.
"He laughs!" says James. "Blimey! He's a genius! He'll be Headmaster of Hogwarts! Minister for Magic! Amazing!"
He pauses, and then adds, "it's Harry James of course."
"To Harry James Potter!" says Sirius earnestly. "The greatest wizard to ever live!"
Bundle of rubbish I had lying around on my computer; I've been suffering from a block, so I thought I'd post it. I'm still not very good at writing Lily.