Artemis Fowl: The Soul of the Night
Chapter One: Working Hard or Hardly Working
Mr. Grangerfroid was an idiot.
This was an understood fact of life, no different than the sky being blue, or life sucking six different ways to Friday. Some students in the classroom, however, realized it more than others.
One of them was Artemis Fowl.
From day one of public school Artemis was not happy. The lacking of mental capacity seemed to foster his old feelings of distrust towards the world and was kept only in check by his loving family. However, the boy genius could not help but bristle every time the moronic man preached that nothing is relative, what you see is what you get—Artemis could almost punch him in the face. Grangerfroid claimed to be a lit professor, and yet harbored no respect the greatest symbols of the most brilliant authors in the world. It was this way for much of the public school teachers. Their minds had been brainwashed by the system's precious curriculum they brought no originality or objectivism to the class, only a keyhole, one-siding lecture of boredom readymade on a 12 slide power point.
For the first time since kindergarten, Artemis Fowl was bored out of his skull.
As Mr. Grangerfroid went to another dragged out slide containing nonessential facts about the Transcendental writing period, Artemis allowed his gaze to wander around the room. Several students were asleep. Some were texting. The girl beside had an earphone in one ear, nose completely absorbed in a book. The genius allowed himself to sneak a look at the title—Atlas Shrugged. Ayn Rand, a commendable choice.
"Now students," Mr. Gangerfroid said, as the bell wrang, "I'd like to remind you that you have an essay due at the end of the week. If you don't have the last essay's revisions in by then, you will not receive the bonus credit. Yes, Darlene?"
"Mr. Grangerfroid," Darlene whined, "I'd like to say this latest essay topic should be rated R. For retarded."
"As are you," the girl next to Artemis said under her breath, popping out the ear bud and jamming it in her purse. Regardless of her sarcasm her voice had hardly any venom to it, only a stressed wariness.
"Darlene if you don't have anything constructive you say don't say it at all," Mr. Grangerfoid reprimanded.
As said before, Mr. Grangerfroid is an idiot.
"Wouldn't that render you silent through the entire lecture, then?" One boy shouted bravely. The class laughed, rushing out the door. Mr. Grangerfroid didn't have a chance to lecture the students, being that yelling was now outlawed, but there was certainly going to be notice on the PA tomorrow about respect towards teachers. Artemis sighed. It was the other extreme of Bartley. Instead of strict dress code and extensive lists of prep boy's taboos, there were girls walking with enough cleavage to rival the Grand Canyon, and the lockers were littered with anatomically incorrect male parts. Artemis trudged down the hall ignoring the skeptical glances at his old school uniform. No matter how many times heard snickering, he refused to conform the saggy jean clothes the boys thought were so "cool". The collective, Artemis thought bitterly. Luckily, it was his last class, and he had once again survived another day of public un-education.
As he stepped out of the building someone stepped right behind him, and pressed a note into his hand. Artemis spun around. It was the girl from his lit class, disappearing into the crowd. Artemis opened the note.
Make sure your drapes are closed tonight.
Thousands of feet below, near the core of the earth, Julianna Root was having a similar day to Artemis's.
Instead of rushing to freedom with her other schoolmates, she was trapped inside Nimbus's office, waiting for the grumpy gnome to come and scold her. Julianna was pretty sure that if you traced Nimbus's family tree to his origins, it would most certainly lead to a drunken goblin humping a T-Rex from behind. The gnome had short stubby arms, and an IQ score to match. He sat across from Julianna, feet propped up on the desk, chewing on a pen. Julianna grimaced. The pen was mangled and slimy.
"Well?" Nimbus asked.
Julianna hated this part. She knew that if she immediately tried to justify herself it would drag out forever. So she instead said, "I just want to have my punishment and leave."
"I'd give you a punishment, if I knew what I was going to punish you for."
The young elf nearly laughed. Of course he knew. Everyone within a three kilometer radius knew by now. Julianna had, once more, beat a girl in a catfight. Her anger got the best of her (a common trait among the Root family) and it had blown up into an all out fistfight. Julianna won of course, which only made matters worse for her.
She sighed. "I got in a fight."
"That's right," Nimbus said, forgetting his prior act, "you got in a fight. Again." The gnome rubbed his eyes. "You are a disgrace, you know that? What am I going to do with you?"
"Give me my punishment and let me off on my merry way?" Julianna quipped hopefully.
Nimbus opened his mouth but the door opened. A centaur clopped into the cramped room. He ignored Foaly's glare, and sat stood next to Julianna Root. "What can I do for you, Foaly?" the disgruntled gnome asked.
"I heard Ms. Root here was in a fight," The centaur replied calmly. "I thought I'd represent her legal guardian."
To everyone's astonishment—including Foaly's—the late daughter of Julius Root been requested in the will to move in with Foaly if ever anything should happen to him. Although Julianna and her father had never been close, especially when arguments began over the favoritism Beetroot seemed to show to a certain Holly Short, it seemed that the Commander had it in his heart to give his child the best care possible. Her mother, who had never cared to marry Root, found it a burden to provide for Julianna, and gladly handed her over to the fairy computer genius. Foaly stood there now as Julianna's moral support, legal guardian—and friend.
"If you don't mind me asking," the centaur said, "what were the circumstances of the fight?"
"Circumstances? Circumstances do no matter, Mr. Foaly. Violence is intolerable."
"But if it were in self defense maybe—"
"Do you not hear me?" The gnome shouted. "It's intolerable! If we start excusing students for defending themselves, what's next?"
"They begin the regain their pride?" Foaly suggested.
"They have self esteem?" Julianna added.
The gnome fumed. "NO! They start doing all sorts of shenanigans! Sex on the library tables! Experimental drugs in teacher's lounge! No longer buying school lunches! No, no, no. We cannot allow this. Cannot!"
Foaly and Julianna glanced at each other, warily. Foaly cleared his throat and said, "Well you've made your point Nimbus. We thank you for the…uh, time."
He opened the door, allowing Julianna to duck under his arm. Together, they made a mad dash down the hall. From the door Nimbus waved his fist, shouting, but it was to no avail. Julianna and Foaly were halfway down the street.
"Sex on the library tables," Julianna muttered, pouring a large glass of milk. "Honestly, what kind of sick fantasies does this guy have?"
"I think it'd be kind of hot," Foaly said, crashing down in front of the TV. Julianna rolled her eyes. She sat next to Foaly, resting her head on his hind leg.
"It was my fault," she admitted almost immediately. "The whole thing could have been avoided. I lost my cool. Again."
"Were you provoked?" Foaly asked casually. He wasn't good at the whole being a stern parent thing. He was actually genuinely curious.
"Yeah," Julianna said. "It was…that girl."
"That girl" is the name Julianna had dubbed to the schoolgirl who she caught her boyfriend with a week prior. Now "That girl" and Julianna's ex boyfriend were the school's hottest item, giving "That girl" the right to openly mock Julianna. Until now.
Julianna stared at her milk. To be honest, she felt ashamed she lost her cool. Although it did feel good to make a fool of "that girl", still. She wished she had the integrity to not give into that drama. Foaly sensed her sadness. He sat up, and put an arm around Julianna.
"Everything will be alright," he assured her. Julianna usually wouldn't be so convinced. But the centaur was rarely this warm with her, and she took his words to heart.