Hey guys!
This is a one-shot and it got A LOT of history haha!
It was at first just the glimpse of my emotions one day…ND JUST THE OTHER DAY I FOUND IT ON MY COMPUTER AND I WAS LIKE "this would be good for a one-shot on fanfic". Then I thought it should be a camp-rock story, from Shane's point of view and all. Then, I was like 'nah, let's make it a HSM story for 'so in love' which is a one-shot album from different people's point of view. Plus I wanted that because I was requested for Chad or Troy by a reviewer, and I had this written a long time ago.
so I changed my mind once more and I'm making it a deal: camp-rock. This would be like the first I'm writing BY MY SELF because I'm in the process of writing another one but it's a co-written,:)
SUMMARY:
This feeling, which I don't know the source of, is over-powering me. I can't see my steps, I can't see the way, and I can only feel the darkness. I don't feel Your light. And I'm searching, I want to see, even if it's just a glimpse of You, I know that it will change everything.
I DON"T OWN ANYTHING FROM
DISNEY, OR THE CAMP ROCK
FRANCHISE.
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OVERPOWERED
The world is against me.
All feeling of happiness is gone, I'm sorry my King. You told me many times to count all of your blessings in my life, and I've told you this before My Lord, I could count them day by day, second by second, without it being enough. Counting my blessings would be like counting the sand on a beach…It would take a lifetime. It's like countless.
I'm broken, over taken, over powered. Everything seems against me, even if a minute ago it didn't seem like so.
I have the people right there beside me, my friend Jason and brother, Nate are right there next to me, but it's like they weren't. I don't feel them, I don't see them. I can't touch them. Everything is too much. I can't take it anymore. I'm not someone to cry for no reason even when it really hurts, so if you see the tears dripping from my eyes like the rain does outside, overflowing everywhere, then know that I'm really hurting.
This song replaying endlessly in my ears is too much, breaking me in a million pieces; it's unlikely for me to be the same at the end of it. But then again, it will restart and again, I would feel this space. The emptiness building in my chest with each second. My tears cannot go down now. They are like stuck in behind lids.
I just want someone to hold me, to keep me close, to have me there, never to let go of me. I know you are there for me, that's what the song keeps on saying—not that I don't know that also—but you seem so far away from me, even if you are close.
I don't know how much sense I'm making, and that's not exactly my point.
All I need is you, you always there for me. Nothing can compare to you My Lord.
See my tears so that I may be with you, so that you may comfort me.
If someone came up to me right this instance and asked what was wrong with me, You alone know what I would respond, because you alone know what is wrong with my pained heart. I can't think of anything that has started this time of numbness.
The pain is all too much. My heart is breaking; my chest is aching, my breathing un-evened, my soul tormented, and my eyes burning.
The feeling of emptiness is heating up, eating the space that were not attached by the hurricane called life.
This world we are all living in is like an earthquake, the one feared from all. It destroys everything you have ever build. Your dreams, your friends, your family, you faith and your belief. Nothing remains perfect after you have affronted it.
But in You all things are possible, but right now, even in my trust in You, my King, I can't seem to see my steps, I can't see the light at the end of the way.
It's all too much. Give me a little light to see where I step my foot, lead me so that I may not stumble in the way, be with me so that I may believe, for me to be more trust full.
You are everything I need, You are the universe, You are like everyone on Earth put together. Your power is the most feared in the heaven, the Earth or beneath that. Lord, take me home so that I may seat at your table and praise you like you deserve to be.
I can't seem to let go of the things I like to do here on this Earth, Father. Destroy all of those stupid passions that keep on getting on our way.
All I need is you Father. I got to keep on telling myself that.
Would you hold my hand? Would you guide my way? Would you cleanse me? Would you love me? Forgive me?
I think I'm walking in one of the valleys my King. Thought I'm walking in it, thought darkness seems to be consuming me, my heart will try it's best to trust in you. I can't let go of you.
The fire has been slightly instinguished, but the flame is resisting the winds.
Anger is building up, the wisdom is falling down…
The pressure has come back, and I stumble with self control,
The enemies are tracking me down; my love is almost gone,
I can't take all of this anymore, but somehow I don't want You to take all of it alone. It's like I want to endure the pain, and don't want it to end now. It's like I want to grow through the pain. It's like agony. I don't get myself.
But You said so yourself, so You must understand how weird this feels like:
You promised, You told me, that You would never leave my side in my time of trials and that no matter what happens, You would be there, always.
But something that I'm able to look forward to is that you said, "It won't be long until all of those trials make you strong; so hold on, I won't make this last forever."
Okay, so like I wrote this over a month ago or so, and I just found it again on my computer in this file that says 'not fully written stories'…and yes I have a file for that because there are SO many lol!
And when I re-read it to see what to add in there (I do that from time to time hehe!) and I was like 'wow!i wrote that???' lol. Ever get those feeling writers? Well, it happens to me at times.
And so I only had to add the last part, which are the three last paragraphs, and am done with it.
This is a one-shot and like right now, with it DONE, I'm thinking "this is so much like a psalm!" lol. If you go see around psalms 22 in the Bible, you'll realize that David was enduring the same kind of pain and sorrow that Chad is going throught, and that I myself went through while writing it…yeah…so, I don't know if you can relate but I hope so, and I hope you liked it!:)