He sat and he waited, his hands twisting in nervous anticipation; knowing all too well how angry Peter would be but needing the agent's help if he wanted to pull off his Christmas agenda. He shifted again, the bench beneath him was cold and hard and he shivered in the frigid December air. Neal bent down and lifted his pants up, revealing the always present device flashing green, the meaning all too clear to Neal and anyone tracking him at that moment.
He started to worry; it was taking too long and maybe he miscalculated and quickly Neal scanned the area, looking for the telltale signs of big brother. A car screeched to a halt and Neal sighed with relief when Peter exited and hurried towards him.
OK Peter was angry, very angry Neal surmised as the agent stopped two feet in front of him. Peter's hands went from his hips to his hair and then back to his hips faster than Neal could blink. He huffed and he shook his head and he opened his mouth...
"I can explain" Neal said before Peter could say a word.
"You always can" Peter spit out as he circled the bench. "Are you out of your mind?" It was a rhetorical question and Neal wisely kept his mouth shut.
"It's Saturday morning and the last thing I expected was a phone call from the Marshalls. Neal, what if I was out of town? A weekend in a holding cell sound like fun to you?"
"You normally tell me if you're going away for the weekend" Neal causally retorted as he turned away from the agent's glare.
"What if it was an emergency? You're not on my list to call if I have a family emergency."
"You're right and I'm sorry." Neal wasn't in the mood to continue their normal banter and he looked up to see Peter still staring at him, but his features had softened as he scrutinized the younger man.
"Neal, is something wrong?"
"I need your help" Neal admitted.
"And you couldn't say that over the phone? Of course you couldn't." Peter started pacing. "You didn't answer the phone. How many times did I call you?"
"Ten" Neal automatically answered.
"You kept track." Peter stilled when he noticed Neal trembling.
"I haven't had my coffee" Peter remarked.
"I've noticed."
"Neal."
"Sorry." Neal stood. "I know the perfect little café down the street. And I'll even let you treat" Neal added as he walked away.
"Of course you will" Peter muttered, following.
Neal was nervous; Peter eyed his partner as he nursed his second cup of coffee. Neal rarely was fazed by anything and the agent's curiosity was getting the best of him.
"Neal, are you going to tell me why you need my help or do I have to guess?" Peter placed his cup on the table and clasped his hands together, waiting.
Neal nodded with a small sigh.
"I was shopping for toys for Mozzie's charity..."
"Mozzie has a charity?"
"Several" Neal continued with a slight shrug.
"So, what happened next?" Peter asked when Neal grew quiet.
"In one of the aisles I heard a child pleading with his mom for some toy and I turned their way and the look on the boy's face..." Neal turned and stared out the window, as long ago buried memories swam to the surface.
"It's a child" Peter remarked. "That's what they do, especially in a toy store."
"No, this was different." Neal shook his head. "I know that look...he was asking to go see Santa Claus and tell him what he wanted. And she kept telling him it was too expensive and..."
"And she told him Santa Claus wasn't real, right?"
"No. She gave in and grabbed his hand...Peter she was near tears when they passed me, probably trying to figure out how she was going to get the money..."
"And you want to go buy it right?"
Neal nodded.
"You followed them home and that's why you're out of your radius."
Neal glanced towards the waitress before confirming with a slight nod of his head.
"Neal, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not? What is wrong with giving him one more year to believe?"
Peter didn't have an answer so he picked up his coffee and took a small sip, stalling for time. He knew nothing about Neal's childhood but considering the ex con's penchant for shiny and expensive things, Peter always figured Neal grew up without much.
"Neal, how old were you when you learned that Santa didn't exist?"
"Five" Neal whispered.
"Ouch. What did you want?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does to me. If you want my help than tell me."
"It was stupid" Neal admitted. "It was one of those kits that had everything, crayons, markers and pencils...so many colors and the paper..." Neal smiled, clearly embarrassed although Peter didn't miss the twinkle in his eyes as he described the long ago treasure.
Neal took a deep breath. "Peter, I always had paper and crayons to draw with but this was special and it was a lot of money and I knew we couldn't afford it." He shrugged. "My mom felt so bad afterwards and I still got gifts but they were always what I needed and not what I wanted."
"Do you think the mom would accept it?"
"She will" Neal stated firmly. "My mom would have. She was always too proud to ask and no one offered to help. Trust me Peter, if anyone would have offered she would have accepted."
"I'm sorry Neal..."
"Don't be. All I want is your help so I can go out of my radius and deliver the presents."
"OK." Peter stood and slapped some money on the table. "Let's go play Santa."
The following day they pulled up to the apartment complex shortly before noon.
"How do you know she's home?"
"She's home" Neal replied.
"You sure?" Peter asked as he turned the car off.
"Peter, I called as I got to your place and she answered."
"How'd you...you know what, don't tell me ...I don't want to know." Peter unhooked his seat belt and faced his partner. "What are you waiting for?"
Neal didn't move as he continued to stare out the window. "What if she doesn't take them?" he quietly asked.
"Neal, she'll take them. Just use that Caffrey charm and she can't say no." Neal glanced sideways with a slight smile. "You're right" he said as he opened the door.
"Wait. Take this." He turned to see Peter pulling some bills from his pocket.
"Peter. No. She won't accept that."
"I didn't say give it to her." Neal nodded with a knowing look and stuffed the money in his pocket. He grabbed the presents from the back seat and walked away.
Neal returned twenty minutes later and sagged into the seat with a deep sigh.
"I was getting worried" Peter admitted. "Why'd it take so long?"
"Initially she was angry" Neal said "and didn't want the gifts. And then she cried. Peter I don't how many times she said thank you and I didn't know what to say."
"And the money?"
"She'll find it" Neal answered.
"Good job." Peter reached over and gently patted Neal's shoulder. "Neal you did a good thing in there and I'm proud of you."
Neal looked his way, unashamed of the tears welling up in his eyes. "Why don't I feel good?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"You will...once you stop feeling sorry for yourself." There was no malice in Peter's words and it was the truth and they both knew it.
The ride home was quiet but comfortable and Peter finally spoke as he neared June's house.
"You're coming for Christmas dinner, right?"
Neal nodded.
"And Mozzie?"
Neal opened the door and got out. "He said to tell Elizabeth he wouldn't miss it for anything. Thank you for helping me" Neal added before hastily closing the car door.
Neal entered his apartment and finally allowed the tears to fall. Yes, he was feeling sorry for himself he silently admitted as he tossed his jacket aside and toed his shoes off. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then spotted the package, placed conspicuously in the center of the table. It had a small note taped to the top and Neal grabbed that first.
You're never too old to believe
Santa.
Neal chuckled; immediately recognizing Peter's handwriting. He sat down and tore the paper off.
"Peter, it's perfect" Neal whispered as he opened it. Slowly he pulled out the contents of the box. First he lined the markers up as he marveled at the colors. Out came the pencils, then the crayons and the paper...every color of the rainbow.
"Glitter glue?" He picked up the sticks and stared at them. Finally he pulled out the paint set and scissors.
Neal smiled brightly though his eyes glistened with tears. Biting his bottom lip, he picked up a green marker and grabbed a red sheet of paper. He tapped the marker on the table, as an idea formed in his head. A few minutes later he started his masterpiece...a thank you card for Santa.