I hear about him in stories.
Lord Vader… but he's more importantly known as Anakin. Or Grandfather.
He is everything Uncle Luke doesn't want me to be. My grandfather is impatient and emotional. Uncle Luke wants me to be patient and mindful.
Meditation is supposed to help. But as we sit here in silence, in supposed concentration of the force around us… I really only think about Lord Vader. So powerful. The most powerful… and we're related. I am his grandson… yet here I am… meditating and not doing. I'm supposed to be training to be a jedi…
"Ben." Says Uncle Luke, who has one eye open and his line of sight directed towards me.
"Uncle…" i whisper back.
"Control your emotions, Ben. You're thinking about the future. You must think of the present." He replies, closing his eye.
"But Uncle" I protest, "We are the only jedis. How am I supposed to ignore this. How are we to restore balance. Just the few of us!"
I glance around at the other jedis.
"You aren't jedis yet, Ben. Focus on your meditation." Retorts my Uncle Luke, both eyes staring at me.
I stare back at him, my eyebrows furrowed. I feel angry. Angry that this is his training. No fighting. No lightsabers. I exhale loudly as I stand and begin to walk away.
"Ben!" I hear him call behind me. But I continue to walk back to the small homes we are staying in.
I stomp into the house, fists clenched as I look around at the small cushions we have for chairs. It's almost an instinct that drags me to them, connecting my hands to them and throwing them through the house. I hear things crashing with the cushions but I don't care. I could care no less for what becomes of anything in this dull planet. I couldn't care for the people out there training.
Training. What a joke.
"Ben! Enough" I hear Uncle Luke yell. I freeze instantly. This tone is one I have never heard before.
I turn to look at him, his body covering the only entrance and exit to the home. He begins to march towards me and I almost feel afraid. But anxious that perhaps… perhaps he'll use the force. I will finally see what it is. What it's like.
But he wraps me in his arms, his hand placed gently on the back of my head.
"I know it's difficult for you to understand, Ben." He whispers softly. "But you will in time. You will understand the benefit of this training…"
I feel the anger from before surge within me once more. I feel almost shaken by how strong it is. I want him to get off. To just get off of me.
His arms leave my body. He's a foots distance away and he looks at me with wide eyes, head tilted. I stare back in almost just as much shock. I feel myself shaking so I run. I run past him and out of the house into the woods off in the distance.