I KNOW, I KNOW, I SHUD BE UPDATING MY CHPTR STORY, YATA YATA YATA, BUT I JUST *sigh*… IF U KNO ME, (WHICH SUM PPL OUT THERE DO SINCE SUM OF MY BFF'S READ THIS) U KNO THT SUMTIMES THE INSPIRATION JUST CUMS N I HAV 2 WRITE THE STORY DOWN. IT'S LIKE WOOSH *CRAZY HAND SIGNALS* (AND NO (THIS IS 4 MY BFF'S: IM NOT HIGH (IT'S WAT WE CALL IT WEN I GET AN UNCONTROLLABLE FIT OF GIGGLES (NOT THE DRUGS! I DON'T DO DRUGS! I FIND THEM DISGUSTING, JUST LIKE SMOKING); I GO CRAZY, I ACT CRAZY I DON'T STOP LAUGHING,ANYTHING/EVERYTHING MAKES ME LAUGH, I HAVE FALLEN OFF A DESK AT ONE POINT, IT HAPPNS AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH, AND MY FRENDS ALWAYS END UP LAUGHION THEIR ASSES OFF CUZ I LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS.) :) ANTIWAYS, GUYS, I LUV YA'LL SO MUCH! THNKU, U GUYS KEEP ME WRITING, SO HERE U GO; ANOTHER ONE-SHOT.
LUCY'S POV:
I threw my arms around Natsu and pulled him into a hug.
"Thank you for not destroying anything," I told him.
"You're welcome," Natsu replied. His lips grazed my ear and it took everything I had so as not to shiver from his touch. Instead, I chose to concentrate on our embrace. Our embrace. Oh shit, I thought, I'm hugging Natsu.
"I-I, uh, I'm s-s-" I started, but I cut myself off the moment Natsu's eyes met mine. God, his eyes, his beautiful, deep, and never ending onyx colored eyes.
"Luce," Natsu says, his voice gruff and serious, yet heavy with emotion.
"N-Natsu, I….." I breathed out.
"I love you," Natsu tells me as he leans in. His lips are so close that when he speaks, they graze my own. "Do you love me?"
"I always have," I say, with a smile as he leans in to close whatever space is left in between us.
I close my eyes, and immediately felt-
CRASH!
A pillow?
"Happy! We have to be quiet! We're ninjas, remember?" an all too familiar voice whisper-shouted.
"Aye!" a male feline yelled.
"Happy!" Natsu hissed.
"I mean, aye, sir," Happy whispered.
I groaned and said, "Too late, I'm already awake."
"I told you we would wake her up!" Natsu said with a cute pout on his face, yet trembling (probably from fear of my wrath) at the same time. With that pout, though, the ice around my heart melted into a puddle of water.
"I'm not mad," I say as I get up to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
He turned to give me that impish grin of his, put his hand over mine, and then say, "Thanks, Luce."
As I smiled at the gentleness on his face, I thought, now all he has to do is- No! No way Lucy, I scolded myself. Just because you love him doesn't mean he loves you! As I looked down at our intertwined hands (also thinking back to my dream), I blushed, and jerked away.
"Oi, what's up?" Natsu asked, concern etched on his adorable face. Oh crap, I thought.
"what do you mean?" I asked, feigning innocence.
"I mean you just jerked away from me, like I burned you," worry lines were sketched deep into his frame now, he suddenly asked, "I didn't burn you, did I?"
"no," I say with a smile, "really nothing is wrong, you didn't burn me, and I am fine."
"Luce, you know you can't lie to me," Natsu said his gaze intense.
Looking away for fear I might tell him the truth, I look at the clock. The clock. Shit.
"crap! I'm late! I was supposed to meet Erza, Lisanna, Levy, Mira, and Wendy at the front of the guild 15 minutes ago," I yelled at him as I ran into the restroom to change.
"so?" Natsu asked, being his oblivious self.
"so I'm late, and I, Lucy Heartfilia, am never late for a girl's day out!" I yelled through the door as I put on my clothes.
"nooo! Don't go with them! Hang out with me! We can go on a mission together!"
"nope," I say as I shake my head. Slipping my boots on, I tell him, "we always hang out, today I'm going to hang out with them."
"But Luceee, we're best friends! Best friends always hang out together." I almost flinch. I manage to hold it back, but just by a bit. No, I tell myself, Natsu already realizes something is wrong, I can't go on and do something else that's stupid over some ridiculous dream.
"right," I say, but my voice sounds a little tight.
"Luce, are you—" I shut my front door and walk. And walk. And walk. I don't know where I'm going, but I couldn't care at the moment.
"best friends," I tell myself. "get over it Lucy, you didn't really think he'd love you back, did you?"
Yet, deep inside I know I did. I know that yearned for it, just like I craved his touch. The dream, even if it was just an illusion, killed me. I wanted his touch, his lips on mine, and I wanted them in reality, not in an illusion. I wanted Natsu; no that was a lie, I needed him. Natsu was like my air, and I hadn't realized how much I truly loved him until I had that dream. It had made me excited and happy, so ridiculously happy. Everything had been perfect, he had confessed, he was going to kiss me, he had confessed to me, his lips touched mine, HE HAD CONFESSED TO ME! Then I awoke to the harsh reality of having him so close to me, but so, so far.
Under normal circumstances I would have told Levy about the dream, really, I don't keep anything from her, but this….. This was something different. I don't know how to explain it, but I just don't want to tell her. It's stupid and ridiculous, I know, Levy's my best friend, but… I can't. I can't tell her how I awoke, wishing desperately for my dreams to be a reality. I don't want to tell her that the dream left me craving his touch more than ever. I refuse to tell her that I almost kissed Natsu this morning. And above all, I will never tell her how when I awoke, I awoke wishing he was asleep next to me, so I could tell him I loved him…. So I could get him to hold me.
"Luce?"
I gasped and quickly wipe the tears that had fallen. "Natsu what are you doing here?"
Natsu scratched the back of his neck, giving away that he was nervous, "well after you didn't show for your 'girl's night-out' everyone got worried. It's been 3 hours Luce, where were you?"
"T-th-three hours?" I say, the disbelief clear in my voice.
"yeah."
"oh, sorry, I didn't mean to worry you all, I just needed some time," I say guiltily.
"Think about what?" Natsu asks me.
"nothing," I reply quietly, afraid of tears that would fall again.
"Lucy, I care for you more than you know, but I can't protect you if you won't let me."
"Maybe I don't want you to protect me," I yell.
Natsu looks taken back by sudden outburst. I should feel guilty for yelling at him, but I'm not. I can't keep pretending he's only a friend and nothing more, I can't.
"What do you mean?" Natsu asks, because suddenly he's the quiet one.
"I mean I can't do this anymore. I can't go on and pretend to be your best friend. I can't. It…." I stop to take a deep breath, " it hurts too much."
I walk towards him, and cup his cheek gently, forcing him to look at me.
"Natsu, I love you, and I mean as so much more than nakama. I love you, and it hurts to just stand here and pretend I don't. It hurts so much you have no idea of the pain. I can't go on like this, so if you don't love the same way, I understand, but don't go looking for a best friend in me, because there won't be one," I say. It's scary to tell him all this. I almost backed out, but I can't- I couldn't, I would have had to continue living in that nightmare as Natsu's best friend and nothing more.
"I'm sorry," Natsu says after a while, and I know I'm screwed. He doesn't love me like that, I thought, but before I can say anything, Natsu continues, "I never meant to hurt you, but I didn't know if you… if you felt the same way. I… love you too, Luce, more than you can ever imagine, and like you said, I'm done being you're best—"
I kiss him. I kiss him because I love him; I kiss him because I need to do it; I kiss him because he loves me; I kiss him because he wants to kiss me too. I could list so many reasons, so many excuses, but I know that the real reason I kissed him is because I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I couldn't stop myself from being able to feel those lips on mine, and when I felt his lips move in rhythm with mine, I knew I wasn't the only one who couldn't hold back any longer. And that's when I realized: no dream is better than my reality.
SO NOT MY BEST WORK, BUT IT'S OK... RIGHT? ANTIWAYS, R&R/ F&F? THANKS.
-LOVE, ifreakinluvnalu