Author's Note: This is my first story so be nice. Anyway, X-me n Evolution and it's characters don't belong to me so blah, blah, blah... you know the drill. And on with the first chapter.
Nature Sucks
Chapter 1: Fume Induced Dreams
The bus rattled down the street, seemingly intent on hitting every single pothole on the four hour trip. This combined with the hot humid weather and the non air conditioned bus was not helping the already tense passengers. And just who were the passengers on this voyage of the damned? Well oddly enough they were the students of the Xavier Institute and Bayville High's "special" after school group. And Duncan Matthews. Why was Duncan Matthews there? Well this entire camping trip seemed like an elaborate ruse by Xavier and Magneto to torture their respective teams. As Todd Tolansky pointed out, they were all probably hoping that Duncan Matthews would never return from this trip.
At this rate, Duncan was not even going to make it to the camp grounds.
" Hey move it Fatso!" Poor Duncan never seemed to realize that picking a fight with the Blob was simply not in his best interests.
" What did you say!" the large teenager roared, turning a shade of red that should be reserved for raspberries.
" I said "move it" fatso. Jeez are ya stupid -?"
" Arggh!" cried the Blob, grabbing Duncan by the front of the jacket. The incredibly strong teenager then started to stuff the football player out the window of the bus.
" Scott, do something!" cried Kitty. Scott regarded the scene and replied,
" I think I'm going to let this continue."
With one last mighty heave, Freddie shoved the protesting Duncan the rest of the way out the window. There was a tell tale thump from outside and the sound of something skidding across the pavement. For a moment, there was silence on the bus, and then it erupted into applause.
" Yah Freddie!"
" Way to go big guy!"
" You're the man!"
Pietro Maximoff gazed at Freddie with large stars in his eyes. " Oh Freddie, I wish I could be more like you! How I admire your strength, your girth, your projected sense of perfection! I was so stupid for making fun of you , I simply didn't know how to express how much I admired you!" the slender teenager said in the most adoration filled voice imaginable.
" YAH! Freddie you should be leader!" put in Lance.
" None of us are worthy compared to you, man," agreed Todd. Kitty, Rouge and Mystique all had huge hearts in their eyes.
" Oh FREDDIE!" they cooed together. Jean sauntered over to Freddie, wrapped her arms around his thick neck, and kissed him full on the lips.
" Oh Fred, what a fool I have been," she whispered, breaking the kiss. " I never realized that you were the one for me. Let's run away together my love."
" But what about Scott?" asked the Blob.
" Forget Scott," Jean replied, embracing Freddie. " Your all the man I'll ever need."
Freddie smiled and looked over Jean's head at Scott. Freddie saw Scott's stricken look and began to laugh. And he laughed....and laughed....and laughed................
*********************************************************
" Jeez, what's with this guy?" asked Pietro, motioning to Freddie. The Blob was shaking with mirth even as he slept.
" Good dream?" suggested Todd.
" That's got to be one hell of a dream," pointed out Lance. " The guys been laughing for almost ten minutes now". The three members of the Brotherhood watched their companion sleep for a few more moments.
" Man, I wish I could sleep," said Todd, eyeing the sleeping Blob with envy. " But every time I close my eyes we hit one of them damn speed bumps and I'm launched into orbit. Who's idea was it to start this stupid camping trip at 5:30 in the morning?"
" Someone with a really cruel sense of humour. And I bet I can guess who it was," said Lance, eyeing the seat in front of him.
" If your suggesting, Mr. Alvers, that I had anything to do with this UNGODLY hour you are greatly MISTAKEN!" roared Mystique, turning around in her seat to face him. Lance shrunk away in terror. " The last thing I want to do at 5:30 is babysit a bunch of bratty, hormone driven TEENAGERS!"
" Er, yes of course Miss. Darkholme, I wasn't suggesting anything like that," explained Lance. She eyed him for a moment then turned around in her seat muttering something about enlisting the Brotherhood in the circus. Lance stared at the seat in front of him for a moment then turned to his friends with a smile on his face.
" Oh yah, she wants me". Pietro stared at Lance like he had just grown a second head.
" Oh really, what exactly gave you that idea? The threats? The insults? The way she belittles you every chance she gets? Or is it the look she gives you that says...hmm it's hard to describe it...."
" The look that says she'd like to slather you in barbecue sauce and feed you to hungry jackals?" suggested Todd.
" Yah, that's the one!" cried Pietro. They gave each other high-fives. Lance just smiled smugly.
" You guys don't know anything . You should have seen the way she looked at me when we first met".
" Like she was propositioning you?" asked Pietro. Lance looked confused.
" Yah...."
" Man she looked at Freddie the very same way," said Pietro. Lance turned blue.
" Whaa....."
" And ya should have seen the way she was looking at Pietro when she saw that hologram of him, like she was looking at a slab of fresh meat, yo". Todd snickered. Lance had now turned from blue to crimson. His friends, obviously unconcerned with his health, continued recalling the ways Mystique always seemed to be hitting on them.
" And she's always groping Todd," supplied Pietro, "Always pinching his cheeks and such," Todd rolled his eyes. He then looked at Lance.
" I think it's just her way of doing things, ya know, how she works and stuff".
" Maybe..." agreed Lance sullenly. He then brightened. " Or MAYBE she's got the hots for ALL of us!"
" Oh God no," muttered Mystique. The last thing she needed were those idiots thinking she found them attractive in the slightest.
" Give me that!" she snapped, snatching the thermos of coffee away from Sabertooth. "Mmmmm....coffee".
" Hey, I wasn't done with that," whined Sabertooth. Mystique glared at him and he fell quiet except for some bad tempered muttering. Mystique ignored his rumblings and instead concentrated on ways she'd torture Magnus for this atrocity when she returned. Most of them involved rusty nails and vicious attack dogs.
" Do you guys know who I think really has a thing for Todd?" asked Pietro.
" Someone has a thing for Todd?" asked Lance.
" I think so." replied Pietro, nodding knowingly.
" Really? Who?" asked Todd, briefly dreaming of a beautiful super model tragically blinded in an accident.
" Well........" replied Pietro, who was remarkably patient when it involved annoying his friends.
" SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" yelled Lance. Pietro smiled.
" Nightcrawler", he replied simply.
" Wha..wha... WHAT!" yelled Todd, mouth gaping and tongue lolling. He glanced up to where Nightcrawler was singing along with the other X-men to "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles. " What on EARTH gave ya that idea, man!"
" Remember when you went to the Xavier institute and fought with Nightcrawler?"
" Yah....."
" Remember this : Your so slow!". Pietro then winked suggestively at Todd.
"Worst Nightcrawler impression ever," remarked Lance. Pietro ignored him.
" He put WAY to much effort into that wink. Plus he grabbed your ass in the danger room. He's totally into you". Todd made a face.
" Your so full of it, man".
" No, no I agree with Pietro," remarked Lance. "The Crawler's totally into you. Wow, imagine what it would be like if Todd and Kurt could have a baby?" he shuddered " Eww...ugly bug eyed furry things.....yuck".
" There are so many things wrong with that Lance," said Todd, also shuddering. " Ya want to know who I think Pietro has a thing for?"
" Who?" asked Pietro, eyeing Todd suspiciously.
" Well he's annoying, whiney and looks like he lost a bout with mange..."
" Evan!" yelled Lance, looking pleased with himself, " It's Evan right?"
"What about me?" asked Evan walking up the aisle and glancing at Todd. The young skateboarder had left his seat with the other X-Men at the front of the bus when he realized he didn't know any of the songs they were singing.
" Pietro has a -"
"Shut up Lance!" yelled Pietro, smacking Lance upside the head.
"- thing for you." finished Todd. Evan made a face and Pietro slapped his forehead. Nightcrawler came hopping down the aisle, leapt over Mystique and sat staring at the Brotherhood, perched like some demented gargoyle.
" What?" asked the assembled group.
" What's with you guys? Come join the party!" motioning to the front of the bus where the X-men were now singing "Sing'in the Rain".
" I think I'd rather have my eyes pecked out by ravenous birds." replied Lance. Nightcrawler blinked slowly.
" Funny, that's exactly what Rogue said." They all glanced over at Rogue who was reading an old copy of 'The Vampire Lestat'.
" What? Quit looking at me, ya weirdos," the social butterfly snapped. The others were only too happy to comply and were soon engaged in an enthralling discussion of books they had read, with the exception of Lance. This was not, as you may expect, because he hadn't read a book in his life ( quite the contrary, Lance was an avid reader) it was because he was puzzling over Rogue. Why did it always seem that when she had a choice she always seemed to sit near the Brotherhood rather then the other X-men? Was it because she actually preferred their company? Lance found the idea rather appealing. Ever since Rogue had left them to join the X-men Pietro had been the prettiest member of the Brotherhood. That was so sad it often made Lance want to cry. Lance was pondering this when the bus came to a sudden stop and everyone was thrown into a groaning pile on the floor.
" Everyone out !" called the bus driver, who was in actuality, Logan dressed up as a bus driver. There was a mad scrambling of flailing limbs as everyone struggled to be the first off the stinking, humid and cramped bus.
" Yes! I was the first, up yours Pietro!" cried Evan, doing a short victory dance. " Whose the best mutant, huh Pietro?....umm......Pietro?"
" Help!" cried a voice from the bus. Evan blinked in surprise.
" Wow man, ya didn't even make it off the bus?" Evan headed back up the stairs to see just what was taking his rival so long to vacate. " Man I knew you weren't as good as me, but..Ahhhhh!"
" Help..." whined Pietro pathetically from where he was pinned under The Blob's massive girth. " I hurt......."
"Opps....sorry", said Freddie, starting to roll off when he was halted by Pietro's bloodcurdling scream.
" Owwwww! Your rotating on my spine you stupid fat ass!"
" What did you say!" roared the large mutant, leaping to his feet with surprising agility and grabbing the smaller mutant by the shoulders and shaking him violently. " Well!?!" he cried. But one look at Pietro's swirly eyed face indicated clearly that he would not be making any sort of intelligible reply anytime soon. " Hmmph...." grunted the Blob, carrying Pietro off the bus and setting him on the ground ( Pietro almost immediately began running around in dizzy circles)
" Welcome", called a perky looking man dressed in a blue t-shirt and tan shorts.
" Yes, Welcome", called an equally perky woman dressed in a pink t-shirt and tan shorts.
" I'm Mark", said the man
" And I'm Mindy", said the woman
" And we are welcoming you to Camp Maple Oak. Welcome!" they chorused together. Logan moved in front of the door of the bus to prevent the rush of students trying to get back on The terrified teenagers studied the pair in morbid fascination. Mark and Mindy pointed behind them with a dramatic flourish to a large sign that proclaimed proudly " WELCOME TO CAMP MAPLE OAK" and as the already depressed teenagers watched the 'C' in WELCOME came crashing to the ground.
And thus their camping adventure began. For good or evil it still remains to be seen.
End notes: Watch that episode! Nightcrawler grabs Todd's ass!! Anyway as you can tell, this chapter is pretty much pointless dialogue, but it will get better, I promise. And as for the question, How did the other Brotherhood members know how Mystique approached them when they weren't even there? Well you see, the answer is actually quite simple...( author makes mad dash for the door).
Author's Note: This is my first story so be nice. Anyway, X-me n Evolution and it's characters don't belong to me so blah, blah, blah... you know the drill. And on with the first chapter.
Nature Sucks
Chapter 1: Fume Induced Dreams
The bus rattled down the street, seemingly intent on hitting every single pothole on the four hour trip. This combined with the hot humid weather and the non air conditioned bus was not helping the already tense passengers. And just who were the passengers on this voyage of the damned? Well oddly enough they were the students of the Xavier Institute and Bayville High's "special" after school group. And Duncan Matthews. Why was Duncan Matthews there? Well this entire camping trip seemed like an elaborate ruse by Xavier and Magneto to torture their respective teams. As Todd Tolansky pointed out, they were all probably hoping that Duncan Matthews would never return from this trip.
At this rate, Duncan was not even going to make it to the camp grounds.
" Hey move it Fatso!" Poor Duncan never seemed to realize that picking a fight with the Blob was simply not in his best interests.
" What did you say!" the large teenager roared, turning a shade of red that should be reserved for raspberries.
" I said "move it" fatso. Jeez are ya stupid -?"
" Arggh!" cried the Blob, grabbing Duncan by the front of the jacket. The incredibly strong teenager then started to stuff the football player out the window of the bus.
" Scott, do something!" cried Kitty. Scott regarded the scene and replied,
" I think I'm going to let this continue."
With one last mighty heave, Freddie shoved the protesting Duncan the rest of the way out the window. There was a tell tale thump from outside and the sound of something skidding across the pavement. For a moment, there was silence on the bus, and then it erupted into applause.
" Yah Freddie!"
" Way to go big guy!"
" You're the man!"
Pietro Maximoff gazed at Freddie with large stars in his eyes. " Oh Freddie, I wish I could be more like you! How I admire your strength, your girth, your projected sense of perfection! I was so stupid for making fun of you , I simply didn't know how to express how much I admired you!" the slender teenager said in the most adoration filled voice imaginable.
" YAH! Freddie you should be leader!" put in Lance.
" None of us are worthy compared to you, man," agreed Todd. Kitty, Rouge and Mystique all had huge hearts in their eyes.
" Oh FREDDIE!" they cooed together. Jean sauntered over to Freddie, wrapped her arms around his thick neck, and kissed him full on the lips.
" Oh Fred, what a fool I have been," she whispered, breaking the kiss. " I never realized that you were the one for me. Let's run away together my love."
" But what about Scott?" asked the Blob.
" Forget Scott," Jean replied, embracing Freddie. " Your all the man I'll ever need."
Freddie smiled and looked over Jean's head at Scott. Freddie saw Scott's stricken look and began to laugh. And he laughed....and laughed....and laughed................
*********************************************************
" Jeez, what's with this guy?" asked Pietro, motioning to Freddie. The Blob was shaking with mirth even as he slept.
" Good dream?" suggested Todd.
" That's got to be one hell of a dream," pointed out Lance. " The guys been laughing for almost ten minutes now". The three members of the Brotherhood watched their companion sleep for a few more moments.
" Man, I wish I could sleep," said Todd, eyeing the sleeping Blob with envy. " But every time I close my eyes we hit one of them damn speed bumps and I'm launched into orbit. Who's idea was it to start this stupid camping trip at 5:30 in the morning?"
" Someone with a really cruel sense of humour. And I bet I can guess who it was," said Lance, eyeing the seat in front of him.
" If your suggesting, Mr. Alvers, that I had anything to do with this UNGODLY hour you are greatly MISTAKEN!" roared Mystique, turning around in her seat to face him. Lance shrunk away in terror. " The last thing I want to do at 5:30 is babysit a bunch of bratty, hormone driven TEENAGERS!"
" Er, yes of course Miss. Darkholme, I wasn't suggesting anything like that," explained Lance. She eyed him for a moment then turned around in her seat muttering something about enlisting the Brotherhood in the circus. Lance stared at the seat in front of him for a moment then turned to his friends with a smile on his face.
" Oh yah, she wants me". Pietro stared at Lance like he had just grown a second head.
" Oh really, what exactly gave you that idea? The threats? The insults? The way she belittles you every chance she gets? Or is it the look she gives you that says...hmm it's hard to describe it...."
" The look that says she'd like to slather you in barbecue sauce and feed you to hungry jackals?" suggested Todd.
" Yah, that's the one!" cried Pietro. They gave each other high-fives. Lance just smiled smugly.
" You guys don't know anything . You should have seen the way she looked at me when we first met".
" Like she was propositioning you?" asked Pietro. Lance looked confused.
" Yah...."
" Man she looked at Freddie the very same way," said Pietro. Lance turned blue.
" Whaa....."
" And ya should have seen the way she was looking at Pietro when she saw that hologram of him, like she was looking at a slab of fresh meat, yo". Todd snickered. Lance had now turned from blue to crimson. His friends, obviously unconcerned with his health, continued recalling the ways Mystique always seemed to be hitting on them.
" And she's always groping Todd," supplied Pietro, "Always pinching his cheeks and such," Todd rolled his eyes. He then looked at Lance.
" I think it's just her way of doing things, ya know, how she works and stuff".
" Maybe..." agreed Lance sullenly. He then brightened. " Or MAYBE she's got the hots for ALL of us!"
" Oh God no," muttered Mystique. The last thing she needed were those idiots thinking she found them attractive in the slightest.
" Give me that!" she snapped, snatching the thermos of coffee away from Sabertooth. "Mmmmm....coffee".
" Hey, I wasn't done with that," whined Sabertooth. Mystique glared at him and he fell quiet except for some bad tempered muttering. Mystique ignored his rumblings and instead concentrated on ways she'd torture Magnus for this atrocity when she returned. Most of them involved rusty nails and vicious attack dogs.
" Do you guys know who I think really has a thing for Todd?" asked Pietro.
" Someone has a thing for Todd?" asked Lance.
" I think so." replied Pietro, nodding knowingly.
" Really? Who?" asked Todd, briefly dreaming of a beautiful super model tragically blinded in an accident.
" Well........" replied Pietro, who was remarkably patient when it involved annoying his friends.
" SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" yelled Lance. Pietro smiled.
" Nightcrawler", he replied simply.
" Wha..wha... WHAT!" yelled Todd, mouth gaping and tongue lolling. He glanced up to where Nightcrawler was singing along with the other X-men to "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles. " What on EARTH gave ya that idea, man!"
" Remember when you went to the Xavier institute and fought with Nightcrawler?"
" Yah....."
" Remember this : Your so slow!". Pietro then winked suggestively at Todd.
"Worst Nightcrawler impression ever," remarked Lance. Pietro ignored him.
" He put WAY to much effort into that wink. Plus he grabbed your ass in the danger room. He's totally into you". Todd made a face.
" Your so full of it, man".
" No, no I agree with Pietro," remarked Lance. "The Crawler's totally into you. Wow, imagine what it would be like if Todd and Kurt could have a baby?" he shuddered " Eww...ugly bug eyed furry things.....yuck".
" There are so many things wrong with that Lance," said Todd, also shuddering. " Ya want to know who I think Pietro has a thing for?"
" Who?" asked Pietro, eyeing Todd suspiciously.
" Well he's annoying, whiney and looks like he lost a bout with mange..."
" Evan!" yelled Lance, looking pleased with himself, " It's Evan right?"
"What about me?" asked Evan walking up the aisle and glancing at Todd. The young skateboarder had left his seat with the other X-Men at the front of the bus when he realized he didn't know any of the songs they were singing.
" Pietro has a -"
"Shut up Lance!" yelled Pietro, smacking Lance upside the head.
"- thing for you." finished Todd. Evan made a face and Pietro slapped his forehead. Nightcrawler came hopping down the aisle, leapt over Mystique and sat staring at the Brotherhood, perched like some demented gargoyle.
" What?" asked the assembled group.
" What's with you guys? Come join the party!" motioning to the front of the bus where the X-men were now singing "Sing'in the Rain".
" I think I'd rather have my eyes pecked out by ravenous birds." replied Lance. Nightcrawler blinked slowly.
" Funny, that's exactly what Rogue said." They all glanced over at Rogue who was reading an old copy of 'The Vampire Lestat'.
" What? Quit looking at me, ya weirdos," the social butterfly snapped. The others were only too happy to comply and were soon engaged in an enthralling discussion of books they had read, with the exception of Lance. This was not, as you may expect, because he hadn't read a book in his life ( quite the contrary, Lance was an avid reader) it was because he was puzzling over Rogue. Why did it always seem that when she had a choice she always seemed to sit near the Brotherhood rather then the other X-men? Was it because she actually preferred their company? Lance found the idea rather appealing. Ever since Rogue had left them to join the X-men Pietro had been the prettiest member of the Brotherhood. That was so sad it often made Lance want to cry. Lance was pondering this when the bus came to a sudden stop and everyone was thrown into a groaning pile on the floor.
" Everyone out !" called the bus driver, who was in actuality, Logan dressed up as a bus driver. There was a mad scrambling of flailing limbs as everyone struggled to be the first off the stinking, humid and cramped bus.
" Yes! I was the first, up yours Pietro!" cried Evan, doing a short victory dance. " Whose the best mutant, huh Pietro?....umm......Pietro?"
" Help!" cried a voice from the bus. Evan blinked in surprise.
" Wow man, ya didn't even make it off the bus?" Evan headed back up the stairs to see just what was taking his rival so long to vacate. " Man I knew you weren't as good as me, but..Ahhhhh!"
" Help..." whined Pietro pathetically from where he was pinned under The Blob's massive girth. " I hurt......."
"Opps....sorry", said Freddie, starting to roll off when he was halted by Pietro's bloodcurdling scream.
" Owwwww! Your rotating on my spine you stupid fat ass!"
" What did you say!" roared the large mutant, leaping to his feet with surprising agility and grabbing the smaller mutant by the shoulders and shaking him violently. " Well!?!" he cried. But one look at Pietro's swirly eyed face indicated clearly that he would not be making any sort of intelligible reply anytime soon. " Hmmph...." grunted the Blob, carrying Pietro off the bus and setting him on the ground ( Pietro almost immediately began running around in dizzy circles)
" Welcome", called a perky looking man dressed in a blue t-shirt and tan shorts.
" Yes, Welcome", called an equally perky woman dressed in a pink t-shirt and tan shorts.
" I'm Mark", said the man
" And I'm Mindy", said the woman
" And we are welcoming you to Camp Maple Oak. Welcome!" they chorused together. Logan moved in front of the door of the bus to prevent the rush of students trying to get back on The terrified teenagers studied the pair in morbid fascination. Mark and Mindy pointed behind them with a dramatic flourish to a large sign that proclaimed proudly " WELCOME TO CAMP MAPLE OAK" and as the already depressed teenagers watched the 'C' in WELCOME came crashing to the ground.
And thus their camping adventure began. For good or evil it still remains to be seen.
End notes: Watch that episode! Nightcrawler grabs Todd's ass!! Anyway as you can tell, this chapter is pretty much pointless dialogue, but it will get better, I promise. And as for the question, How did the other Brotherhood members know how Mystique approached them when they weren't even there? Well you see, the answer is actually quite simple...( author makes mad dash for the door).
Author's Note: This is my first story so be nice. Anyway, X-me n Evolution and it's characters don't belong to me so blah, blah, blah... you know the drill. And on with the first chapter.