you dye your hands the color blue.

They were making their way through the outskirts of the Water Tribe's territory when there was a lull in what had been a near-constant rain. Yona smiled at the stray ray of sun that had escaped the clouds, and when she did, Hak found it breathtaking – she seemed to blind him. There were still droplets clinging stubbornly to her hair, dyeing it a darker shade of red, and her clothes were disheveled, sodden, the hems muddy. But it didn't make a difference because –

She was too beautiful, Hak decided, too pure, too everything. Imperfect, but somehow hypnotizing, bewitching. All her flaws were facets that made her shine even brighter, and he could not look away.

It was not the first time, and just like always, it made Hak hate himself.

Somehow, his feelings have seemed to surpass such an idea as infatuation or concepts like lust – she is his sun, his moon, his oxygen; the dawn, the dusk, the night sky full of stars. His desire encompasses his entire being – he wants her, all of her – heart, mind, body, soul. And each time he reins in these feelings, he hates himself a little more, grows more disgusted with his heart, resents his own reflection.

He curses what seems to be an unbridgeable gap between taking the things that he understands clinically and turning them into things that he knows viscerally. He understands that he cannot touch her, he understands that she loved Soo-Won, and he understands that even if she does not still love the emperor, she cannot bring herself to hate him. Her feelings ran too deep for a silly crush – the bonds of family, of friendship, of what was once implicit trust… Experience has taught him that they are not so trivial as to be broken easily.

For while Yona was playing and laughing and falling in love with Soo-Won, Hak was waiting and watching and falling in love with her.

It is not a word he often admits to himself, love, but that does not make it any less true. But his love, he tells himself late that night, is one that must not be acted upon. It is a love that moves him to protect, as he always has. He convinces himself that every other desire it induces must be eradicated, like dousing a tiny spark with a gallon of cold water. There must be no room for it to ignite or become anything else.

The problem with Yona, however, is that her very presence is like kindling, tempting him to let the fire burn, uncaring of the consequences.

On occasion, Hak had given in and let himself toy with her, if only to gauge her reactions. While she is no longer in a child in many ways, he does not delude himself into thinking that she understands her allure or his innuendo. Each time, it had helped to remind him that she is still innocent, that she is not to be tainted, that she is not his.

This has been his mantra for as long as they have been traveling together – from the time he'd helped her remove the leeches to the night when she given him the good-luck charm – and Hak has done his best to keep those facts at the forefront of his mind. As long as Yona was happy, he would find a way to be happy for her, even if it killed him.

you wash your mouth, you pray for truth.

The next morning, things were as normal as they could be for their Happy Hungry Bunch – Kija so earnest it was comical, Zeno acting like the seventeen-year old that only his body was, Shin-Ah observing quietly, Jae-Ha a fountain of flippant comments, Yoon mothering the rest of them. And Yona was, as always, perhaps not the center of their attention in an obvious way, but the focal point that each of them kept looking back to – the gravity that had brought them together, that now anchored them.

For their ragtag band, there would never be a need for Polaris – the red star that was Yona was all they desired, the only guide to light their way.

As he and Yona headed off into the woods to hunt for their breakfast, Hak reminded himself yet again that it did not hurt to share, as Yona was not his. Perhaps it did not hurt, but it surely irritated. The way Kija tripped over himself to please her, the way Jae-Ha eyed her, the intensity of Shin-Ah's taciturn devotion… It grated on his nerves and turned Hak's gait into a trudge.

Yoon and Zeno were fine, he allowed, but Yona's naivete was almost too much for him to bear. How could she not realize that she was indeed desirable and thus try to be at least a little bit more wary? His grip on the haft of his weapon tightened, and he had not realized he'd muttered his thoughts aloud until Yona addressed him.

"Hak, is there something wrong?"

He turned to her, finding her worried face far too close to his for comfort. Blessedly, it seemed the words themselves had been unintelligible. Resorting to his usual defense mechanism, he rolled his eyes. "The only thing that's wrong, Princess, is that with you as my hunting partner it will take three times as long to catch anything decent."

She huffed, not dignifying his jibe with a response, and followed what appeared to be boar tracks into the underbrush.

Hak followed suit, and seeing the irritated posture of her back, he ruffled her hair playfully as he leaned down beside her. His voice was still teasing, but gained a softer edge, "Though I guess you are better than Yoon or your idiot dragon fanclub."

He realized too late that his tone had become scathingly sarcastic with the last word, and Yona turned to him, "Fanclub?"

Sighing, he closed his eyes leaned against the nearest tree. Now she wanted to catch on? he wondered incredulously. "Never mind, Princess. Just keep it down or we'll never catch anything."

"Hak." Her voice held a note of authority, prompting him to crack open an eyelid.

She had planted herself firmly in front of him, staring up with eyes that said she would not back down until he told her what she wanted to know.

He knew that Yona was a great many things, and undeniably stubborn was – unfortunately for him at the moment – one of them.

Letting his body slide down the tree trunk and laying his Hsu Quandao next to him, he patted the earth just beside where her feet were planted, prompting her to sit. When she did, Hak gave one last sigh, having decided to discuss the matter as maturely and platonically as possible.

"Princess, as your bodyguard, you know that I am a tool for you to use however you wish." At this, Yona's nose scrunched up in obvious displeasure at hearing him refer to himself that way, but Hak knew he needed to remind himself of his place before he went any further.

"Therefore," he continued, serious azure eyes trained on hers, "I hope you don't find what I'm about to say offensive, but it is something that – especially as your guardian – I feel responsible to address."

Her expression was puzzled, curious, but still she did not speak. She simply waited, violet eyes unblinking.

"I know that you had a sheltered upbringing at Hiryuu Castle, but I hope you realize just who you are traveling with and that… at times, you should be more conscious of your safety."

An ornate earring brushed over her collarbone as Yona tilted her head in confusion. "A former caretaker of a priest, the four dragons, and a Thunder Beast?" She gave a short laugh, "Hak, there's no one I would feel safer with than all of you!"

He resisted the urge to bang his head back against the tree. "Yona." This got her attention, and her smile faded. "You are a young woman... traveling with six men."

Not elaborating further, Hak merely maintained eye contact, praying she would understand the implications of his statement.

Soon enough, her cheeks colored and her eyes widened, only to quickly skate away from his. "Hak, don't be ridiculous, there's nothing to worry about. Like I said, I feel safest when I'm with you, and besides, I'm not much to look at anyway, so there really isn't anything to–"

"Princess," he tried, desperately trying to hide the strain in his voice. He grasped her chin firmly in one hand so she could not escape his piercing gaze, "There is. Trust me."

Shaking him off, she crossed her arms. "I just think you're blowing this out of proportion, Hak; I mean, Yoon is practically a mom to all of us and the guys – Kija, Shin-Ah, Jae-Ha, and Zeno – sure, we're friends, well, actually… we're practically family," she added thoughtfully. "But you have to remember that they're the four dragons and I'm the reincarnation of King Hiryuu… I don't think their devotion is something they can help."

One calloused hand reached to pinch the bridge of his nose, and deep blue eyes slid shut in contemplation.

Hak's thoughts were racing, desperate to make her understand. Of course he knew that part of what drew the other men to Yona was their dragon's blood, but what he did not want to say was that he was, in fact, trying to protect her not just from them… but from himself. And he did not have the convenient excuse of being reincarnated with those feelings as an innate part of his makeup.

Yona seemed to take his silence as a signal that the discussion was over, and she made to get up. "Okay, Hak, we'd better get going – everyone else is probably complaining that they're starving by now."

She had already turned, and so she did not see the expression of frustration and anguish on Hak's face as he replied, "Of course, Princess."

you cast your charm, you strike a match.

It had been an uneventful day of traveling, although the damp environment was not doing any of them any favors. Rainy season in the Water Tribe's territory was no joke, and they hadn't made much progress.

Just before dusk, Yoon suggested that they call it day. All of them were soaked to the bone so no one objected, simply setting up their tents as efficiently as they were able.

The strawberry-blond youth and the four dragons were already in their shelter for the night, and Hak had just finished securing the last stake that would anchor the tent he shared with Yona. It had been no easy task, with the wind working against him, but he was satisfied that the structure would hold. He turned to let his crownless princess know that their rustic quarters were ready, but she was no longer where he'd last seen her.

He knew she hadn't gone into the other tent, so where could she be? Uselessly shaking water from his bangs, Hak rounded the canvas to find the princess sitting underneath a tree, though it was doing little to shield her from the storm's onslaught.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

She didn't look at him, amethyst eyes trained on the canopy above her. "Don't you think the rain here is beautiful?" she said softly, as if raising her voice would destroy the serenity she seemed to be enjoying.

Hak didn't reply verbally, only a treacherous thought crossing his mind – No, Princess, what's beautiful here is you.

If his silence bothered her, Yona gave no indication, speaking as though she was in a daydream. "It makes everything sparkle, makes everything seem so alive…" she trailed off, a hand raising to trace the outline of leaves and hazy stars above her.

Moving closer, he grasped her outstretched hand and pulled her to her feet. Her eyes snapped back into focus as he directed her toward the tent, saying blandly, "I think that's enough rain-gazing for today, Princess."

The words trailed behind her as he propelled her inside – "It really is lovely, though…"

"Yes, yes, it's beautiful," he humored her, just wanting her warm and safe and dry. There was already a lantern hanging from the wooden supports, and it was just enough light to find what he was searching for. Pulling out a length of linen that had miraculously managed to avoid becoming saturated with rain, he offered it to her, "Here, dry yourself off."

"Okay, just a second."

Hak found his breath caught uncomfortably in his chest when she shed not only her cloak, but the pale pink ribbon and maroon fabric around her midsection, followed by her sleeveless vest, leaving her only in her simple white shift. The actions had seemed far too sensual and protracted, teasing instead of no-nonsense. While Hak knew that it was surely all in his head, the way stray raindrops seemed to glisten against her skin and the dim, flickering light of the lantern had given life to his fantasy. He just thanked whatever gods there were that it was too dark to tell if the downpour had rendered the flimsy material of her dress see-through or not.

Before she could do anything more, Hak's arm shot out to stop her, though he could not force any words out past the lump in his throat.

"What, Hak? I can't dry off if I'm still wearing wet clothes," she eyed him quizzically.

There hadn't been much distance between them before, but this close, he could see the soft outline of her body in the shapeless garment, the illusion more tantalizing than if she had been wearing nothing at all. Swallowing with difficulty, he managed, "Just wait. I'll leave."

He exited the tent hurriedly, not daring to look back.

"Hak?" First, she spoke normally, taken aback by his abrupt actions, but then he heard her call out behind him, "Hak! Hak, wait!"

But he couldn't, he didn't trust himself, and she didn't understand. And on some level, he didn't want her to understand, because it would destroy everything.

you touch the ground you're slipping through.

He didn't run – he wasn't even a hundred yards away, but it was far enough. For a while he just stood there, letting the rain wash over him in frigid sheets, and it struck Hak as ironic that his actions echoed Yona's from earlier.

The chill settled into his bones, and he hoped it would clear his mind. His imagination had not needed anything new to work with, and now it flourished with scenarios that made him want to bash his head against the nearest boulder until his lecherous brain bled out of his ears.

Groaning, he fisted one hand in his hair, cursing the his luck that the girl who was seducing him within an inch of his self-control didn't even realize she was doing it. But really, he knew it wasn't her fault, it was him; he was the one who had been pining for her for too long, and he wondered if perhaps, it had finally made him mad.

There was a soft splash in a nearby puddle, and he turned to find Jae-Ha standing there, sake in hand. The green-haired man didn't ask any questions, only dangling the pottery from his fingers, casually suggesting, "You look like you could use a drink."

Hak didn't answer except to extend his hand for the alcohol. He didn't know if lowering his inhibitions was really the best idea, but maybe, just maybe, it would help him to forget. It wouldn't hurt to try.

The rain slowed to fat drops that smacked heavily against the foliage of the tree they'd chosen to take shelter under, and the wind had calmed, taking the bite out of the air. There were few other sounds – the squelch of mud beneath their feet, the swish of liquor in its jug, the sharp exhale that followed a swallow.

Half-empty, the contents of the jar sloshed more than before, and still, Hak said nothing. For a while, Jae-Ha had not broken their companionable silence, but now he spoke. "So. You gonna tell me what's eating you, Thunder Beast?"

Tipping his head back, Hak savored the pleasant, tingling burn as the sake slid down his throat before he replied. "You really want to know, Droopy Eyes?"

Jae-Ha snatched the liquor from Hak's hand, replacing its stopper as he seemed to contemplate his answer. "Well, I'm betting it has something to do with our redheaded princess who was shouting after you," he said coolly, "Especially since her yelling your name was loud enough for me to hear over Zeno's snoring." Setting the sake on the ground and leaning easily against the tree, he prodded again, "So what's the problem?"

Lips somewhat loosened by the potency of the drink, Hak related his warning to Yona and her prompt dismissal of it, but did not mention his own feelings or what had occurred in the tent. "Why can't she see that I am just trying to protect her? That's my job," he muttered sullenly.

"Listen, Hak," Jae-Ha toyed with the end of his ponytail. "I get it, I really do. For someone who is a princess, Yona doesn't often think of propriety. But I think it's just because she trusts us so much."

He didn't say anything more for a moment, inhaling deeply before he said, tone soft, "I think the real problem lies with you."

Immediately defensive, Hak's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"Hak, I'm not blind, even if Yona is… Which I doubt she is. At least not completely," the green dragon said flatly. A tinge of sympathy entered his voice as he explained further, "You're so caught up in the idea that it's your duty to protect her and her happiness that you've probably never stopped to think that maybe what would make her happy... is honesty."

At this, the other man scoffed, and Jae-Ha shot him a silencing look. "Stop getting all tripped up by duty and station, you idiot. This is killing you."

Sighing, Hak pressed damp fingers his forehead. "That doesn't matter."

"Oh, you're so noble, Son Hak, former General of the Wind Tribe, personal guardian of Princess Yona, appointed directly by the late Emperor Il!" Jae-Ha shot back sarcastically. "You need to get over all of that. Quit making yourself a martyr for no reason."

"There is a reason!" Hak snapped, eyes flashing.

"If the reason is that you love her and you think you don't deserve to, or that she doesn't feel the same way, then yeah, I got the memo," was the dry reply. "But for all your obsession with her happiness, has it really never crossed your mind that maybe she does feel the same way? Even she doesn't recognize it as love, you are special to her. More special than any of the rest of us."

The last sentence was almost inaudible, spoken with a quiet resignation that made Hak's eyebrows lift in surprise.

"You can't keep doing … this. So figure out what you're going to do, and do it."

Turning to leave, Jae-Ha threw behind him, "At least you have a chance. Don't waste it."

you'll bite your cheeks, you'll make it right.

Hak did not stay there much longer, only giving himself enough time to let the soft, alcohol-induced blur of his thoughts come back into focus. He had not even been close to drunk, but he wanted to be completely lucid for this.

By the time he felt he was, the rain had stopped altogether, and the moon witnessed his shaky breaths as he steeled himself to go inside and come face to face with Yona.

He didn't really have a plan except to try to be as honest as he could... and pray that she didn't throw him out. That would have to be good enough. Because as much as Hak hated to admit it, Jae-Ha had been right – he could not carry on as he had been, not a day longer.

Inhaling deeply one more time, he lifted the flap and ducked into the half-darkness.

As his eyes scanned the interior, he was surprised to find Yona – not lying in her bedroll as he'd assumed she would be – sitting with her back to the entrance, spine ramrod straight and giving no indication that she'd heard him come in.

Staring at the back of her head, Hak hadn't moved, simply letting the canvas fall shut behind him. After a tense silence, he cleared his throat, a hand going to the back of his neck, "Uh, Princess… I'm sorry."

Finally, she turned, and he saw her eyes were hard, crimson brows drawn into an upset v.

Fingers outstretched and then retracted, and he moved toward her, his own face softening, contrite. As he folded long legs to sit beside her, Yona spoke.

"What is the matter with you?" Her voice was not accusatory, not emotional, not… anything. And it made Hak more weary than if she had greeted him with pummeling fists or angry words.

"As I recall, you didn't like the answer that I provided for that question earlier, Princess."

She did not respond, just angling her chin away from him.

"But I will answer it it truthfully now, if you wish."

A beat of silence. Then, "You weren't being truthful earlier?"

Hak reminded himself to be patient, even as his heart thudded an uneven rhythm against his ribcage. "I was," he said carefully, "Just not … completely so."

"Tell me, please," she requested, scarlet bangs obscuring her face.

"This may not be something you want to hear," he warned. But she did not object, and so he knew that this time, there would be no excuses, no cover-ups.

"What I said earlier was true – it worries me that you are not more conscious of your situation." Glad she was not looking at him, he continued, "Especially since not even a day after my warning about men, you undressed, alone in this very tent with–"

"With you, Hak," she butted in.

His voice was pained as he said, "Yes, with me." He slumped into himself, "Princess, what frustrates me… is that you don't seem to realize that I, too, am a man."

Hak did not look up, he only heard the soft inhalation that was almost a gasp. Before she could say anything, he let the words tumble from his mouth, an avalanche of crippling emotion that he knew he needed to set free.

"Princess…" His voice broke, "Yona… I am sorry. I have overstepped my role, even if only in my thoughts, in my heart. And I know you do not see me the same way I see you, so I apologize if my feelings make you uncomfortable. But I… I love you. I have loved you since I met you, since you were a coddled princess, and I love you even more now, seeing the strong woman you have become. I detest myself for the desire I feel for you, for the jealousy it stirs up in me, for my irrational urge to call you mine, and especially… Especially for my inability to rid myself of these emotions. You have my heart and my body and my soul – I have been and always will be loyal to you in all ways, and I swear to you that these feelings will not interfere with my duty to you. So…" his voice dwindled as he concluded, "All I ask is that you allow me to keep serving at your side."

Hak did not move, he did not even breathe, realizing that this was it. He had confessed what he had once pledged never to say, and there was no going back.

He waited for a minute, then two, sitting in excruciating silence; his heart seemed to slow and sink, settling somewhere deep in his gut.

"Hak…" Yona whispered, and he felt her sit up partway to kneel in front of him. He shut his eyes, dreading what she would say next.

But she did not say anything, merely let one of her hands rest on his, bringing the other up to thread through his hair and cradle his jaw.

"Hak, look at me," she instructed softly. He did, and while he did not find anger or pity or disappointment in her expression, he could not hold her gaze for long. "You don't have to apologize."

"But I – I know you have always had Soo-Won in your heart, and even after all he has done, you do not hate him…"

"You're right, I cannot bring myself to hate Soo-Won," Yona confirmed, and it felt like she had sucker punched him. "But Soo-Won is not here. And even if he was, he is not the man I care for most."

The words made Hak's heart come to life again, hammering in his throat. Eyes lifting to hers again, he asked tentatively, not quite daring to hope, "He... isn't?"

"No, Hak. He isn't." Her hand trailed down the tendons of his neck, stopping to finger the cord that rested next to his throat. "So who do you think that it could be?" The amethyst of her eyes was clear, serious, and she tugged the lapis lazuli pendant from his still-damp robes, leaving no room for alternate interpretation.

This time, it was for a different reason that he was afraid to breathe, even as he exhaled one disbelieving syllable. "... Me?"

Yona smiled. "Yes, Hak, you, you obtuse, insufferable, uncannily wonderful Thunder Beast," she said playfully, rubbing a thumb over the smooth surface of the charm.

His mind seemed to buck comprehension, and he could only stare at her.

Light flickered over her face as she lifted the stone to her lips, letting them graze it in what was more of a caress than a kiss. But when she did so, her eyes had not strayed from his, and Hak found the gesture both tender and subtly sensual. His trancelike state began to lift, and he found that he could not stand the fact Yona was still sitting what was suddenly much too far from him.

She emitted a soft yelp of surprise as he pulled her into his lap, drawing her closely against his chest and burying his nose in her hair. As she settled against him, she seemed to have no complaints, only shifting so that her arms were wrapped around his neck.

"You smell like rain… And sake," Yona commented after some time, fingers sleepily combing through the hair at the base of his skull.

His voice regained its usual teasing sarcasm, "Well, Princess, in case you hadn't noticed, is is the rainy season right now."

Slowly leaning back to look at him, she raised one scarlet eyebrow, "And the sake?"

"Jae-Ha," he answered with a shrug, knowing the man's name was explanation enough. When she only rolled her eyes and snuggled back against him, Hak pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Finally, finally, his unusual princess was his, and he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

oh, oh, fever.

Hak woke to the sound of Yoon's voice – "Yona! Hak! I made breakfast!"

He cracked his eyes open, and – for a brief second – wondered just why he couldn't move. The answer was obvious when Yona stirred in his lap, stretching tiredly.

"Good morning, Princess," he smiled down at her.

"Morning, Hak," she said through a yawn, her own lips curving into a contented grin.

Looking down at her, Hak traced the curve of her face, and he thought that he could very much get used to this. The first rays of daybreak were peeking through the seams of the tent, and she was more beautiful than ever in the soft light.

"Yona…" he whispered, fingers still splayed across her cheek.

She let her eyes drift shut, leaning into his touch with a soft, "Mm?"

So Hak bent to align his face with hers, his hands trembling and eyes closing when their noses brushed. "Yona," he said again, and this time it was something between a promise and a prayer, breathed in a whisper that she could feel.

And when her answer was his name, he lowered his mouth to hers – all the love he held for her was in the gentle press of his lips, the tender grasp of his fingers. He could feel Yona's smile, and she pulled away to say, blushing, "Hak, I'm not going to break."

It took him by surprise when she pulled him back to her, breath hot, lips parting, and when Yona dared to take his bottom lip between her teeth, he was lost. Growling softly, he slid a hand up her ribcage, the other sliding behind her neck, encouraging her to let him move to her throat in a trail of grazing teeth, lapping tongue, sliding mouth.

He knew that he was more than likely moving too fast for her, but gods, she was delicious, and the way she responded to him was impossibly arousing – no amount of daydreams or sleepless nights could have prepared him for the flush of her skin or her hums of pleasure.

"Hak…" she sighed, hands sliding to grasp at the front of his robe.

"Yona?!"

Startled from their reverie, the two of them looked up to find the rest of the Happy Hungry Bunch crowded at the entrance to their tent. Kija was the one who had exclaimed her name disbelievingly, and Yoon appeared to be similarly shocked, though he didn't say anything.

Hak and Yona didn't move, their limbs still entangled as they stared, color rising in both of their faces. Zeno winked at them knowingly, grabbed Yoon by the arm, and began propelling him from the tent. "Zeno thinks we should give them some privacy, ne? Come on, Shin-Ah."

As usual, the masked man did not give a verbal reply, simply grasping Kija's collar and dragging him out behind him.

Only Jae-Ha was left, grinning like the cat who ate the canary. "I was always rooting for you two kids to get together," he teased before turning to go. After a moment, his torso popped back in, "Hak, remind me to give you some advice later, okay? Our fair princess only deserves the best after all–"

The only response he received was a stray slipper thrown at his head and a set of glaring blue eyes. "Alright, alright!" Jae-Ha held up his hands in defeat, actually leaving this time. Hak resisted rolling his eyes – it would be a long and arduous exercise in self-control from now on.

When they were alone again, Yona and Hak finally pulled apart, the sensual mood having been startled right out of them.

"So… now what?" She stood, looking concernedly in the direction of everyone else.

"Now we just keep doing what we've always done, Princess," he answered easily. "Our goals haven't changed – we will still see them through together."

Rising to his feet, Hak kissed her on the forehead, savoring the moment of peace before they had to face the others.

"Come on, we'd better eat breakfast… Or at least go out there before they all come bursting back in here," he added with a tone of mock-resignation.

She nodded, though she didn't seem enthusiastic about the idea. But as he made to exit, Yona grabbed his hand, first placing a gentle kiss in the center of his palm, and then simply twining her fingers with his.

"Okay, now we can go," she said with a smile.

Hak didn't object, only returning her smile with one of his own.

As he followed her out into the light, there was only one thought in his head – that he would follow her anywhere, always, and that he loved her, loved her more than ever. If his happiness was her happiness, and her happiness was his happiness, then he surmised that they would be very happy, indeed.

A/N: Disclaimer - I definitely haven't read Akatsuki no Yona since the last scan team release (whenever that was), so I apologize if anyone is too OOC. But I love Hak and Yona together (who doesn't?!) and I feel like there is somewhat of a lack of canon-compliant fics for them... which, of course, meant I had to write one.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, so drop me a line if you have a moment! (Or if you find any grammatical/spelling errors - I don't have a beta!)

Thanks for reading & have a lovely day :)