Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did, the whole show would be told through Mercedes' point of view.
Special thanks to (Chantal) keeponsmilingg for being my very first reader/reviewer, being the excellent friend that she is, and giving me the confidence to post this.
Please forgive any errors, it's my first one. :)
Mercedes tried her best to ignore the butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach as her cab pulled up outside of Sam's apartment complex in Nashville. This little trip was impromptu but entirely necessary she thought as she paid the driver, tipping him generously, before stepping onto the curb with her little carry-on.
As she walked up the small path to his front door, she took a few deep breaths and tried to settle her shaking hands. Within the next few moments, as soon as she made it to the door and dredged up the courage to ring the bell, she'd be seeing her boyfriend of nearly six years. Despite the giddiness she felt over that fact, she couldn't shake the nauseating feeling that had been plaguing her since their last conversation.
'I just miss you so much, it literally makes my heart ache sometimes,' Sam had said, his voice gravelly and laced with sadness. It'd made Mercedes' heart ache just listening to him. She'd been about to reply when he continued, 'And, I'm just not sure anymore if that's the same for you. You know I've never wanted to hold you back from anything, and I'm just not sure of anything anymore.'
'What are you talking about, Sam? Of course I feel the same and you aren't holding me back!' she'd replied firmly once he stopped talking.
'It doesn't feel like it, 'Cede. Lately, I just kind of feel like I've been having a relationship with your voicemail and not you. You're always busy studying, busy with other people, busy singing, or busy doing whatever else and I just feel like you've got this whole other life over there in New York and my place in it is getting smaller and smaller.'
'That's not true,' Mercedes insisted feeling tears start to sting her eyes. She blinked them back but her voice shook as she continued, 'These classes are really kicking my ass, I have to spend extra time with the work or I will fail, and there's no time for do overs. It's my last year! And you can't be mad at me for going out and cutting loose a little with my friends, Sam. I've been so stressed out, not to mention lonely, with you all the way over there. Things have been picking up with my singing. I'm starting to get some recognition playing at these events. There are some real opportunities opening up for me. I thought you said you were happy for me!'
'I am! You're so amazing. You're a star and I want nothing more than for the whole world to see that and for all your dreams to come true. I've wanted nothing more than to be by your side when it happens, but maybe that's not in the cards for us.'
Panic spread through Mercedes body as she took in his words. She felt her heart beat pick up and a sick feeling rise to her chest. Her entire face felt hot and she gave up on battling back tears, letting them spill unheeded down her face as she asked, 'Just what are you saying, Sam? Are you about to break up with me right now?'
Her breath hitched as soon as she asked the question. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear his answer.
Sam was quiet for the next few moments and the silence was literally torture. She heard him inhale shakily through his mouth then sniffle and realized he'd lost his battle with his tears as well.
'Baby, don't cry,' she whispered even as more tears streamed down her face. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, and to hold him in her arms and quash all of his doubts. But, he was nearly a thousand miles away and, not for the first time, she had to settle for pretending while she listened to his soft inhales and exhales across the phone line.
'I feel like I'm losing you,' Sam finally said. 'We've barely had time to speak lately, and when we do, we just fight. Nothing is like it used to be and I just feel like it shouldn't be this hard to make a relationship work. I love you so much, and it'll probably kill me to let you go, but maybe we have to just be honest with ourselves and admit it's not working out.'
That had been a couple of days ago. Sam's roommate, Rory, had barged into Sam's room a few seconds later to tell him about a small fire emergency in kitchen and Sam had rushed off to deal with the situation. Rory, she suspected at Sam's request, had been the one to text her later, letting her know they'd managed to stop the kitchen from burning down and all was well once again.
But all wasn't well. Mercedes couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Sam and she was afraid to call him, knowing that the next time she spoke to him could very well result in the ending of their relationship. That possibility always made her head spin and made her put down the phone every one of the thousand times she tried to call him.
She did succeed in calling, Quinn, however, and after attempting to sound like all was well for a few seconds, which her soul-sister saw right through, Mercedes was spilling her guts about the entire exchange between her and Sam. Quinn had come right over and held her soul-sister as she cried out all of her frustrations and sadness over her current situation.
Talking to Quinn had made her realize that she needed to be on Sam's doorstep where she was standing at the moment, fighting for her man and letting him know that this was just an obstacle they would have to sort out and work through because she had no intentions of ever letting him go, and if he tried to make her, she'd just bug the hell out of him until he took her back.
Still, she couldn't shake the butterflies as she stood there. What would his reaction be? Would he be happy to see her? Would he turn her away? Part of her knew she was being a bit irrational to be so scared, but she just couldn't shake it. She took one more deep breath and raised her finger to the doorbell. She heard its muffled ring through the door and the butterflies started to move around her stomach with a vengeance. It only got worse when she heard Sam's voice yell out, 'Just a second.' She heard the soft swishing sounds of his socked feet sliding closer and closer to the door. Seconds later, the door swung open and there he was.
They both gasped softly upon seeing each other in person for the first time in four months. Tears sprang to Mercedes' eyes and she was moving toward him before she could really register anything. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist burying her face in his chest. She felt Sam's arms wrap tightly around her shoulders and her back as he pulled her into him. One of his hands came up to cup the back of her head and she felt his lips on her hair as he gave her a soft kiss.
It only made her tears stream out faster. She couldn't get a handle on her emotions and tried to take a few calming breaths. Her right hand slid up his back and clutched tightly to the fabric of his t-shirt, while her other hand bunched the fabric at his waist. She squeezed him just a little tighter with her arms, not yet ready to let him go. She'd never be ready to let him go.
She could feel his heart beat pounding rapidly against her ear and tried to focus on it in an effort to calm down. She wasn't sure how long they stood there, just clutching to one another. She didn't much care. She felt his hand leave her back and move up to cup the other side of her head. Using both hands he tugged her face away from his chest and nudged her so she'd look up at him.
She was sure she looked a mess, what with all the ugly sobbing she'd just done, but she found she didn't care when she looked up to find his beautiful green eyes clouded by his own tears, some of which had trickled down his face. They stared at each other for a moment, Sam using his thumbs to gently wipe the tears off of Mercedes' face. Mercedes copied the action, her eyes never leaving his.
Sam smiled that crooked smile Mercedes' had fallen in love with all those years ago and it still had the same effect on her, she thought, as she felt her heart constrict at the sight. She couldn't help but smile back at him, letting her hands drop to his shoulders. His smile only grew and he bent his neck to drop a kiss onto her forehead, while his hands moved to her waist. Her eyes slid closed at the contact and she shuddered a little bit as she tried to inch her body closer to his. They were standing flush against each other as Sam dropped another kiss to her face; her right eye, this time, then another to her left, then to her nose.
The contact left her with a heady feeling after having to do so long without. She was rising onto her tiptoes and kissing his lips before he could get to hers. She let out a soft moan at the contact and wove her hands into his hair. She felt his left hand move from her waist and slide up her ribcage as he slowly backed her up against the doorjamb, pressing himself even closer to her. She gasped softly at the action and Sam used the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth to play with hers. They stayed like this until their lungs burned with the need for air, and Mercedes pulled away from Sam's mouth panting for air. This didn't deter Sam and he only guided his ministrations over to her jaw and then down to her neck as he pushed his hips against her.
The sound of someone clearing his throat broke through their haze, however, and both of them snapped their heads over to regard Rory who stood in the foyer of his and Sam's apartment with an amused grin on his face.
'Hello, Mercedes. Always good to see you. I see Sam here was being as welcoming as ever,' Rory said causing the couple to blush. Mercedes greeted Rory kindly but she and Sam made no moves to back away from their current position pressed against each other in the doorway.
Finally Rory waved his car keys at them. 'I was on my way out, but I can use the backdoor if you two would like to carry on.'
Mercedes was the first one to make a move, much to Sam's chagrin. She pushed him away just enough to get out from her position wedged between him and the doorjamb. She bent to pick up the carry-on that she'd dropped at some point during their embrace and moved into the apartment grabbing Sam's hand along the way.
Sam glared at his roommate as he passed but Rory just waved back, still smiling as he pulled the door shut and went on his way.
He held Mercedes hand has she tugged him along behind her passed the living room, kitchen, bathroom and straight into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him when he passed through it. Mercedes tossed her bag onto the floor and pushed him onto the bed. Sam willingly fell and almost couldn't believe it as his girlfriend crawled her way up his body, straddled his hips, then bent forward to kiss him, whispering, 'Where were we?' before capturing his lips in a searing kiss.
Later, as she laid in his bed all snuggled in his arms and thoroughly satisfied, she turned to him and said, 'I love you, Sam. You are everything to me and nothing will ever be more important in my life than you. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you came second to anything. I promise to try and handle this distance and my schedule better next semester, baby. Just please, don't give up on me. It's only a few more weeks and then this semester is over, we'll get to be together after the holidays. Then just one more semester after that and we'll graduate and we can finally be together in the same city.'
Sam sighed, absently rubbing her arm and pulling her closer to him on the bed. 'As soon as I saw you at that door, I knew I wasn't going to be able to let you go,' he whispered honestly. 'Let's be honest, even if I had, I'd have been in New York sooner or later, knocking down your door and begging you to take me back.'
Mercedes smiled, placing a kiss on his bare chest and squeezed him with the arm that was thrown across his abs. 'That's kind of what I told myself right before I knocked on your door,' she told him. 'After I bawled my eyes out to Quinn the other night, I bought my ticket, and came down here determined to conquer your doubts or resort to spending my time bugging you until you gave in.'
He smiled and leaned over to kiss her softly but Mercedes had other ideas, cupping the back of his head with her hand and deepening the kiss.
'I love you,' she whispered when she finally pulled away.
'I love you, too,' he whispered back as he gazed adoringly at her.
'This thing with you and me, it's forever, Sam. The distance is only temporary and, at the moment, I do admit that I have about a million things on my mind, but that's temporary, too. The one constant is you. You have my heart.'
He was already hovering over her by the time she finished speaking. He kissed her passionately trying to convey the love he felt for her, which of course led to more, and both of them were absolutely crystal clear on how much they loved each other by the time Mercedes headed back to New York two days later.
As they wished each other goodnight over the phone, Mercedes couldn't help smiling, knowing that they would be okay no matter how difficult their separation might be. She and Sam had been through so much already and she knew, no matter what, neither of them would ever really stop fighting to be together.
End Notes:
This is my very first fic that I have ever published and I really hope people will like it. Please leave me a review. I would love to hear what people think. Unless you think I'm talentless and wrong for even having the gall to post this. You can probably keep that opinion to yourself.
