a/n: So this is somewhat based off of this thought I had on tumblr ( mywaitingtobewritten . tumblr post / 107429733794 / okay - but - what - if - instead - of - lexi - growing - up - super), and it had kind of diverted from what I originally planned and started writing but it's the first time I've written and finished fic in years so I thought I would share it anyway. I hope y'all enjoy it! :)
I.
Lourdes Delgado never asked for this. She didn't ask to be taken over by Espheni eye bugs to the point where she was afraid of what was happening her own head. She didn't ask to betray everyone that she has come to know as family because of those eye bugs. She didn't ask for any of it, and she didn't ask for that little girl to just touch her face once when she found herself completely swallowed by her thoughts, by the fear, and make all the noise go away. Lexi gave her the freedom that the Espheni took away from her, and as the entirety of the Second Mass moved across fields and mountains to get back to Charleston, all she can think of is how she can repay this little girl for saving her life, for saving her from the debilitating fear.
The moment the laser walls drop down separating them in that huge field Lourdes grabs Lexi and with Ben following her, they run as fast as they can to get away from the fighting. Lourdes knows what she has to do now, she has to protect this little girl with every ounce of her life, and she will.
II.
Lourdes, Ben, and Lexi end up finding Anthony, Maggie, and Pope when they're finally too tired of running. There in a small one floor school, that only has a few classrooms in the complete middle of nowhere together, it's small enough that they hope the Espheni won't think to look at it as a place where people are staying, and big enough to feel like maybe they can make it a home one day. Regardless, they settle there, and set up perimeters to keep watch. They could've all slept in different classrooms, but there's something about there only being six of them that makes them want to stick together, even Pope, though he acts like he has no interest in actually getting along with any of them.
The days are long and they have to work harder to scavenge for food and supplies, the universe didn't throw them a miracle with the abandoned school so much as a place that's been picked over so much that there was only a box of jell-o in the cafeteria. At first Ben and Maggie or Anthony and Pope are the only ones going on these scavenging missions, they want to leave Lexie with as much protection as possible, because they all know the aliens are after her, and they also know that asking Lourdes to leave Lexie would be like telling her to commit blasphemy. So it isn't all that surprising when one day Lourdes walks up to Maggie when Anthony and Ben are on a run and asks her to teach her how to shoot.
It takes a few days for to really learn how guns work and how to shoot and aim, and it takes about a week for her to get good about it, but once she does, everything changes. Lourdes starts to go on runs with Maggie and the two bond in a way that no one ever really expected. When they find a radio on one of those runs and Anthony manages to fix it with Lexi's help (which all of them kind of ignore, one, because when they think about Lexie is really only a few months old, and two, even if she wasn't there's no way a six-year-old should be able to fix a radio).
They use that radio to send out message to the rest of their people, hopefully to get them to come to the school if they can. They record it late one night, and after some debate they decide that Lourdes should be the voice that their people hear. Lourdes agrees, primarily because she feels that if she can get the rest of Lexi's family to where they are that she'll be going even farther on her quest to protect her.
"The little girl is safe." Lourdes begins, speaking softly and calmly, reading off of the piece of paper that all of them (except Pope who was surprisingly playing games with Lexi with the toys they found in the kindergarten classroom) spent the night before crafting to be perfect. "We're protect her, she's with her brother. If you recognize my voice, or even if you don't and you are seeking refuge, please come to our location, we're right off of Route 1, you'll know it when you see it." She finishes.
They play the recording on loop and Lourdes and everyone else smile as they hear it over and over again. Knowing that anyone in the Second Mass will recognize her voice and come, and they'll know the school when they see it because Ben and Maggie spent the day painting the outside of the school with extra paint from the Art Rooms to say "Second Mass Base Camp." And sure if the aliens see it they'll be screwed and have to escape, but isn't that how everything works in this new world?
III.
Anne, Denny, and a few others that they recognize show up in a grocery store about a half mile away from the school. Lourdes almost shoots Anne. They laugh about it after, but everyone else aside from those at the school can't help but notice the change. This isn't the Lourdes that they last saw, the Lourdes who was broken and afraid. Something has changed within her, she's stronger now. When Anne asks her about it later that night, Lourdes just looks at her and smiles, pointing to Lexie.
"It's because of her, she freed me, and I'd do anything to protect her. You can't be weak and afraid when someone is relying on you to be strong." Lourdes says.
IV.
Hal, Tom, Weaver, and the rest show up about a month later. They tell them about how they escaped the Ghetto in the place that they used to call home, and how they headed to the school once they heard the radio broadcast completely by accident. Tom looks crestfallen when he realizes that Matt isn't with them and runs off to plan a way to find him with Weaver and surprising to only Tom, Pope.
When Hal sees Maggie he sprints and she sprints and they reunite and everyone smiles about it. They embrace and they're both smiling, but the smiles don't reach their eyes, they both know some things can't be forgotten. Lourdes watches, she watches everyone reunite and she just holds Lexi's small hand in hers and smiles, knowing that in reuniting everyone and bringing her family back to her, that she is probably one step closer to the redemption she desperately craves.
Later that night when they make a bonfire outside of the school to celebrate almost everyone being in their new home it happens. Something inside both Hal and Maggie snaps and they start fighting. Everyone but Lourdes looks surprised, but then again, she's starting realize that no one else pays attention the way that she does.
Lourdes and Maggie have spent enough nights on watch talking for Lourdes to know that while Maggie loves Hal like she's never loved anything, she does not regret killing Karen to save his life. And Lourdes knows Hal well enough to know that his heart is too big to ever fully give up on anyone, not even Karen, and that he'd be bitter that Maggie didn't even give her a chance. Lourdes told her that, one night when they were on watch, and Maggie just looked at her sadly and nodded, knowing that this would be the point of no return for her and Hal's relationship.
The two of them leave, to continue their argument somewhere else and no one sees them for the rest of the night. The next morning at breakfast Maggie walks up to Lourdes and she just knows right away that it's over between them. Lourdes gives her a hug and Maggie takes it for once and then walks away to eat some eggs. When she sees Hal playing with Lexi in the kindergarten classroom a little bit later she walks in, smiling at the little girl and then sitting down next to Hal. They both play with his little sister for a bit, she may be part Espheni, but being around people brings out her humanity, Lourdes realized this long ago which is exactly why everyone treats her like a six-year-old. After twenty minutes Lexi announces that she's going to 'find Mama' and skips out of the classroom, leaving Lourdes and Hal alone together for what feels to her like the first time since they were on the road to Charleston.
"You're different." Hal says, still fiddling with one of the toy cars that Lexi was just playing with.
"So I've heard." Lourdes answers, smirking a little bit. "I'm not afraid anymore, that's what's different." Lourdes says after a minute of silence. "When Lexi took those eye bugs out of me, all the fear went away, and I'm stronger now because it's gone."
Hal nods, he understands, it all makes sense. He remembers how he felt when he learned that he had an eye bug after it was removed, and the fear of what he may have done, he can only imagine how Lourdes felt, knowing all of those bugs were in her, controlling her, and knowing all the things that she had done. He was proud of her though, this girl that he's known since the world went to crap, instead of her letting that fear break her, and letting the removal of it break her, she got stronger, and she's turned into something else. Not something better, but something different, she's become someone that would die to protect his little sister, and he can't fault her for that, not now, not ever.
"Do you think -" Hal pauses, "Do you think that Karen would've been able to come back to us?"
"I don't know Hal. If there's one thing the apocalypse has made even more clear to me, it's that you can't play the what if game, it only makes life more hard." Lourdes puts a hand on his shoulder and Hal moves his on top of it. Glad that even if he hasn't talked to her in what feels like forever, that Lourdes is still that girl he met when the world went to crap, the only difference is she's stronger now, she's still just as compassionate and caring, she's just more likely to win a fight.
V.
They get Matt back a week later and there's another bonfire to celebrate, this time, because everyone is back with them, well everyone that's still alive is back with them. The school is just big enough for all of them to pretend that aliens are everywhere and to stop fighting just for a little bit, to rest and recuperate. That is, until Cochise shows up again and tells them all that if they don't act soon they'll be sent to the processing plants like everyone else on the planet.
So they prepare, they spend a month coming up with a battle plan, training those who need to be trained, and preparing tactics. When Tom proposes that they go to the Moon to shut down the main Esphnei power grid, everyone laughs at him, until Cochise tells them all that it isn't nearly as crazy as it sounds. A few people seem surprised when Lourdes puts her name in to the skitter head for the drawing to see who exactly it will be piloting the beamer to the moon, but Hal and Maggie both just look at her and smile.
The night of the drawing Lourdes finds herself sitting between Maggie and Hal on a bench in front of the bonfire that seems to almost always be burning these days, and Lexi is sitting on her lap, smiling up at her in the not human way that she does that makes most people uncomfortable but that just gives Lourdes hope.
Both Hal and Ben get drawn for the mission. It causes a small stir in camp, but all in all everyone is proud that the two boys most of them have watched grow into men are those that will destroy the Espheni power station on the moon.
They have the night of the drawing to relax and enjoy their family for one last night. For Ben and Hal it involves sitting around the bonfire sharing stories with Lourdes, Maggie, Denny, Matt, Weaver, Tom, Anne, and even Pope, drinking Moonshine that Anthony and Tector found on their last run into town. It's a night filled with laughter and warmth, and a little drunken hijinks, for the first time since Jamil, Lourdes finds herself truly happy and hopeful that maybe, just maybe, the world we be back to the way it was before.
VI.
It turns into a nightmare of blood and flames before the beamer can even launch. Skitters and mechs attacking the school from all sides, the Second Mass prepared for launching and what would come after, but none of them thought about what would come before.
When the Mechs come at the school, Lourdes grabs Lexi and her gun without a second thought and runs into the school, holding Lexi to her body and praying that they'll be able to win this fight, and waiting for someone to come across them so she can protect the little girl that saved her life, with her own life if she must. Hal and Anne follow her, and they form a barricade in the kindergarten classroom that they've come to know as their home over these past few months.
"We need to get you to the beamer Hal." Lourdes says to Hal, knowing that him and Ben flying that thing out of there and bringing the power grid down was one of the last chances they had left.
"We don't even know if Ben will be there Lourdes, it's too risky, we should just stand our ground." Hal replies, looking at Lourdes for a second before looking away. The rage and determination in her eyes a bit too much for him.
"Hal go, I'll stay with Mama." Lexi says, moving from Lourdes' side to her mothers. Holding on tightly to her body and smiling big, a bubble forms around the two of them. Anne looks shocked, but instead of leaving, she just holds her daughter even tighter.
"Come on, I'll cover you." Lourdes says, holding up her gun so it's in a more ready position. Hal nods and offers a last smile to his sister and step mother before walking to the door of the kindergarten classroom. "Thank you Lexi, for giving me my life back." Lourdes says to the little girl before smiling at Anne and following Hal.
The two of them run out of the school, Lourdes firing her gun and shooting what Mechs and Skitters she can. As they run across the camp towards the beamer, the others pick up on what they're doing, soon enough their joined by Ben and others start protecting them as well. It takes a bit, but they finally get to the beamer, Ben runs in first and then Hal starts to run in as well. Lourdes grabs Hal's arm and pulls him back to her briefly, pulling him down to her and their lips crash together for a moment, before they both push back.
"Be safe." Lourdes says, Hal still looks dumbstruck, like he wants to kiss her again. Lourdes pushes him towards the beamer. "Go Hal." He just nods and runs onto the beamer. Lourdes turns around, and aims her gun at the Mechs and Skitters, firing shot after shot with everyone else until long after the beamer has left the atmosphere until they all run out of ammo.
VII.
Ben and Hal bring down the power station just in time. The Mechs drop to the ground and stop fighting, the skitters look lost and confused and when the beamer returns to Earth a few hours after it left, they come home to another bonfire, this one even more celebratory than they have been in the past.
Lourdes is sitting on a bench next to Lexi who is next to Anne, with Maggie on her other side. Maggie notices that Hal and Ben are back first and she hops up quickly, walking over to both of them and giving them hugs. Soon everyone is up and telling them congratulations and giving them hugs, everyone except Lourdes, who is staying with Lexi talking to her and playing some sort of game next to the fire. Hal just looks at her, remember the kiss and realizing how stupid he'd been to not know how she felt about him, how she almost always felt about him. So he just stayed behind when everyone went to sit down, and watched her play with his little sister.
"You should go talk to her." Maggie says from behind him. Hal looks at her and she must see the confusion in his eyes, because she just shakes her head at him and laughs softly. "We would've never worked out Hal. We worked when we did because it was war time, but Lourdes, she's you're girl, if this whole alien business would've never happened you would've ended up with her. Lourdes, she's the girl that you're with when peace is coming, you both have hearts big enough for peace. I don't."
Hal looks at her and she smiles sadly, puts an arm on his shoulder and squeezes. Then she pushes him forward towards Lourdes and he gets the message. Hal walks towards her and sits down on the bench next to her and taps her shoulder.
"I'm glad you're back in one piece." Lourdes says, smiling softly, and whispering at Lexi to go play with her Dad.
"Me too." Hal says, looking down at his hands and focusing on them instead of the warrior next to him. "So about that kiss."
"Yeah, sorry about that. It's just I didn't know if you were gonna make it back alive or not, and I thought, well –" Lourdes starts but Hal interrupts her. He interrupts her by moving closer to her and bring his mouth to his. She doesn't do anything for a second but soon enough she responds, it isn't until Pope lets out a wolf whistle that they both stop, blushing and smiling at their family that surrounds them.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Hal asks, standing up and holding his hand out to her.
Lourdes just smiles and takes his hand. The two of them walk off away from the bonfire and Lexi just looks at her parents and smiles, like she knew it was going to happen all along. She moves to sit in between them and they both wrap their arms around her and squeeze her in closer.
Later that night, after everyone is back at camp, Lexi walks up to Lourdes, who is laying down next to Hal in the kindergarten classroom and sits down next to her and Lourdes just smiles at the little girl giving her the biggest hug she can.
"The world's different now." Lexi says and Lourdes nods. "Not bad, but stronger." Lexi's eyes are filled with a wisdom beyond her years that Lourdes stopped questions when the little girl saved her from the fear that was going to take over her life.
"Thank you Lexi." Lourdes says, pulling the little girl in for another hug and letting her tears fall for the first time since Jamil's death. She owes everything to this little girl, and she couldn't be more grateful that she led her down the path to redemption.