Author's Note: Hey everyone. I know I said I wanted to focus on my current seasons, and don't worry I still plan to, but I got a lot of people asking for me to start All-Stars next, so I figured I'd get it rolling and see how it does. I may have to slow down to work on the others first, but for now here's the first chapter of Total Drama: Return of the Stars. It will feature characters from three of my previous fics, Total Drama Refresh, Stranded, and Switcheroo. Hope you enjoy ^_^
The camera zoomed around a savage island in the middle of a barren lake. It dramatically showed mountains, forests, and swamps, before stopping at the dock where a handsome man with wavy black hair and a blue shirt was standing. He gave his trademark grin to the camera.
"Viewers, dedicated fans, welcome back to the show you all love," he exclaimed. "I'm Chris McClean and Total Drama is…back…in…action!"
Dramatic fanfare played while Chris struck a dashing pose.
"Over the seasons, we've had many different colourful casts," Chris said, "but this time…we're bringing people back…to form a super cast!"
Once again, he paused from dramatic effect.
"We've had three major seasons that have all been huge successes…some of them even transcended parallel universes…or some mumbo jumbo like that," Chris said. "Don't think too much about that, the fact is that we've got a cast of All-Stars coming back from three hit seasons."
Chris started to walk along the dock as he talked.
"First…there was Total Drama Refresh," as Chris spoke, scenes from the former season started to float by. "In this season, we tried to recreate the original success of Total Drama Island. The cast was filled with crazy wackos, cutthroat villains, and a few normal people who were just swept away in the insanity. In the end, our Australian visitor, Montana, used her energetic attitude to get herself the win."
Chris had reached the beach by now and paused again.
"Then there was Total Drama Stranded," Chris continued as new scenes appeared. "The campers became castaways as they had to provide for themselves. Shelters, food, everything; they were truly stranded. We had devious sneaks that were willing to do whatever it took, while we had those who truly played with honour and kindness. There were the popular kids, who battled to dominate the freaks and geeks of the cast. In the end, Calvin bullied his way to the win and claimed top spot. Then—"
"Then, we had Total Drama Switcheroo," someone else interrupted. "That's where I got to shine."
Chris turned to see a large, dark-skinned, man in a chef's outfit.
"Chef, what are you doing back…during MY intro?" Chris asked with frustration.
"You didn't think you were cutting me out of another season, did you?" he replied. "This is my show too."
"That's debatable," Chris grumbled.
"Debate with my contract," Chef grunted.
"Ugh, fine, you can stay," Chris sighed in defeat. "Just try not to cramp my style too much."
"As I was saying," Chef continued as new scenes appeared, "Total Drama Switcheroo was…crazy. Not one of those 16 kids was right in the head. The season combined real men's challenges, with…fancy techno-virtual stuff. It had some of the most dangerous villains, but some of the noblest heroes. In the end, the shy kid, Chance pulled through for the win."
"Now, let's get to meeting the contestants," Chris said. "I think I can see the boat arriving just now…"
An old, rickety, boat that looked ready to collapse at any second pulled up to the dock.
"Welcome…" Chris exclaimed. "…Blaineley?"
A woman with dyed blonde hair and a scarlet dress stepped out of the boat and onto the dock.
"Hello, dearies," she greeted.
Chris and Chef glanced at each other uncertainly.
"I'm back for MY show," she said.
"Um, perhaps you didn't understand," Chris said, "you're not a host anymore. We don't need you."
"Of course you need me," Blaineley replied. "Just think of what it'll do for your ratings."
"Are rating are through the roof as it is," Chris replied.
"Okay, look, here's the deal," Blaineley replied. "I was offered to star in the upcoming hit musical, 'Blainerifc, The Mildred Story: The Documentary: The Musical' but at the last second, they decided that I wasn't 'Blainerfic' enough, and now I need a new gig, so I threatened to sue until I got back my position, so here I am!"
"That's…quite the story," Chef said.
"And most of it's true too," Blaineley added. "So, let's get this show on the road, now that I'm here. Where's your worthless and boring cast this time?"
"Actually they haven't arrived yet," Chris said, clearly not happy to have to share the stage. "We were just waiting for them."
"Oh good, that means I get the chance to introduce each one," Blaineley exclaimed eagerly.
"Let's just get started," Chef grunted. "Here comes the boat."
"Right," Chris said as he fumbled through his notes, "first up…it's…from Total Drama Stranded…this boy was openly gay and not shy about showing it. His strategy was to flirt with other boys to throw them off guard. Underneath his cocky exterior, though, he actually a friendly guy, who was happy to help his friends. He battled against the 'Popular Boys' alliance and put up quite the fight, before his connection with the resident mastermind got him targeted. Give it up for…Stanley!"
A muscular both with smooth black hair stepped onto the dock. He had olive green eyes, and had a bright smirk on his face. He was wearing a grey tanktop, and green shorts with golden stripes.
"Welcome back, Stanley!" Chris exclaimed.
"Happy to be back, Chris," Stanley said, while giving a nod to each of the other hosts.
"So, are you planning to do anything differently this time?" Chris asked. "Think you can improve your game."
"I'm going to be playing a little more carefully," Stanley said. "I don't want to let anyone take advantage of me."
"Sounds good," Chris said.
"And we've got another one coming," Chef said as he took the notes from Chris. "And it's…oh god…this girl came to Total Drama Refresh just hoping to make friends, and maybe find her true love. While she started off shy and awkward, she soon became entitled…and even more awkward. She could be wrathful against those in her way, but in the end she was her own worst enemy when people couldn't stand her egotistical attitude and booted her at the final 7. You know who I'm talking about, it's Beatrice!"
A girl with chocolate brown hair down up in pigtails skipped off the boat. She wore a tubetop with sleeves along her wrists and arms, but disconnected at her shoulders. She wore a skirt, and go-go boots, everything was either red or pink.
"Hiiiii, Chris!" she exclaimed.
"Ugh, I'm getting a migraine already," Chef groaned as he messaged his temples.
"Happy to see you too, Cheffy!" Beatrice exclaimed brightly.
She then spotted Stanley.
"Omigosh!" she exclaimed as she ran over to him. "I know you, I saw you on TV!"
"Yes…and I saw you there too," Stanley replied.
"Wow, we have, like, so much in common!" Beatrice giggled. "I'm Beatrice!"
She held out her hand in a dramatic fashion. In fact, she over-exagerated and ended up hitting Stanley in the face and knocking him into the water.
"Omigosh…I am so, so sorry!" she exclaimed.
"Here we go again," Chef sighed.
"No seriously, I saw how I was acting last season," Beatrice said. "I was such a dorky klutz. But this time, you're going to see a new and improved Beatrice. Starting right now!"
To emphasize her point, she stomped her foot on the dock dramatically. Unfortunately, that was right where Stanley was trying to climb up. She ended up crushing his hand and sending him right back into the water.
"Eep, I didn't mean to do that!" Beatrice cried. "Here, let me help you."
"No! I mean…no, that's okay," Stanley replied. "Why don't you just…go stand…over there?"
"You're the boss," Beatrice chirped before saluting.
"Alright, I want a turn at announcing someone," Blaineley said as she grabbed the notes from Chris. "Ooh, we've got a good one here, a real drama starter…he played on Total Drama Switcheroo. Rather than playing the game, he preferred to just terrorize whoever he could find into doing what he wanted. He got a rush from inflicting pain, and yet in reality he had a deep-rooted fear of causing lasting damage, which could lead to him freezing up. All this together led to him being taken out before he could make merge…it's Mason!"
A boy with silver hair and mean brown eyes stepped off the dock. His face was covered with scars and bruises. He wore a navy jacket over a crimson shirt. His pants were black with chains hanging from his pockets.
"Mason, so glad to have you back," Blaineley exclaimed.
"Whatever, here I am," Mason grunted.
Stanley and Beatrice seemed uncertain what to make of Mason.
"Hi there!" Beatrice eventually said as she stepped forward.
"Don't," was all Mason said as he gave her an icy stare.
Beatrice immediately backed up.
"Ooh, he'll be fun," Blaineley whispered to Chris.
"Alright, my turn again," Chef said. "Oh-ho…this one is a special case. This girl played on Total Drama Refresh, and spent most of her time just trying to make friends and keep everyone happy. But she could be a tough force to be reckoned with when it came to challenges. She would go on to win the season…all the way from Australia, it's Montana!"
A girl with short burgundy hair and teal eyes cartwheeled out of the boat. She wore a green tanktop with a violet flowers on it. She wore khaki pants, and brown boots.
" 'Ello, 'ello, all you super people!" she exclaimed cheerifully.
"Montana, I love what you did with your hair," Chris said.
"Well, thanks, hun," Montana replied. "I thought I'd go for something a little different, right."
"Montana!" Beatrice exclaimed as she waved eagerly (elbowing Stanley back into the water in the process.) "Remember me?"
"Why, if it ain't lil' Bea!" Montana exclaimed.
The two girls hugged.
"Sorry 'bout how you went out last time," Montana said.
"Ancient history to me," Beatrice replied. "This is a new season, and a brand new Beatrice!"
"You brought a winner back?" Mason asked skeptically. "How is that fair?"
"It isn't," Blaineley said. "Which is why I love this show."
"Now, let's get back to me," Chris said as he reclaimed the notes. "Or more precisely, to our next returning star…this girl played by hiding her true nature. While actually a cutthroat gymnastic, used to doing whatever it takes to succeeds, this girl played up her cute nature to let her slide by. But her plan backfired when she found that no one was taking her seriously. By the time the merge arrived, she revealed her true nature and her true skillset. While an impressive physical force, she was far from popular, and no one wasted any time voting her out. Give it up for…Misha!"
A girl with light blonde hair, watery blue eyes, and smooth skin stepped off the boat. She wore a pink headband around her hair, and a skintight mauve bodysuit on her body.
"Misha!" Chris exclaimed.
"Chris," she grunted.
"So…I finally get to meet the REAL Misha," Stanley remarked.
"Yeah, that's right," Misha spat. "Here I am, take a good long. And if you don't like the real me, then you're just going to have to f**king deal with it."
"Oh she's unpleasant," Beatrice whispered to Montana.
"You got something to say!?" Misha snapped at Beatrice.
Beatrice clamped her hands over her mouth and shook her head.
"That's what I thought," Misha growled.
"Back to me now," Blaineley said while grabbing the notes. "Ooh, another good choice, if I do say…this guy was easily the villain of his season, Total Drama Swithcheroo. He blackmailed, manipulated, and lied his way across the game. While his plans didn't always work out, he still got himself all the way to the end…where he promptly was sent to third place. It's Gene!"
A dark-skinned boy with black, curled hair stepped onto the dock. He had beady green eyes and a firm frown. He wore a grey jacket over a brown shirt, and had green pants.
"Gene, ready to play again?" Blaineley asked.
"Ready to win is more like it," Gene replied.
"Bold statement," Blaineley said.
"Perhaps, but still very accurate," Gene said. "I made it all the way to the final 3 in my original season, and now that I have an even better idea of what I need to do, it should be easy."
"Well, that's quite the challenge you're throwing out," Blaineley said. "Do you think these guys have anything to say about that?"
Blaineley gestured to the already arrived contestants.
"Ha, don't make me laugh," Gene scoffed. "These people are nothing but a bunch of jokes. I can say how it is, I'm going to own this game and there's nothing they can do about it."
"You know…I did win my season, right," Montana pointed out.
"That's cute," Gene replied smugly.
"Ooh, he's going to win," Beatrice said to Montana.
"We'll just see about that," Mason remarked.
"Heh, I remember you," Gene said to Mason. "It was fun destroying you last time. I look forward to doing again."
"Oh yeah?" Mason growled. "Will I'm looking forward to sticking a branch right though your—"
"Ah, temper," Gene replied as he pat Mason on the shoulder. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, now would we?"
Mason just simmered furiously.
"Now, let's continue," Chef said. "Up next…this girl started out Total Drama Refresh in a bad spot…she feared that her lack of physical strength might make her an easy target, however, her leadership skills saved her and by the merge she had the game in her hands. She very nearly made it to the end, and was cut out just at the final 3. Returning now is…Nicole!"
A girl with dark brown skin stepped onto the dock. She had wavy black hair with an indigo flower clipped to it. She had a thin pair of glasses, and wore an ebony black dress.
"Welcome back, Nicole," Chef said.
"It's good to be back, Chef," Nicole replied.
She then spotted Beatrice and Montana waving at her.
"We've got a real girl power thingamadoo going here, right," Montana remarked.
"Well, there are some girls from my season I'd hate to see back," Nicole shuddered. "But I'm happy to see you too again."
"Next up!" Chris announced. "Was a bit of darkhorse runner in his original season, Total Drama Stranded…this guy only wanted to sleep and do no work, no strategy, no nothing. This made him an early target, but due to a special twist he was brought back in at the merge. Suddenly, in a powerful position, he found that everyone wanted to be his best friend…but he couldn't take the pressure and took himself out again. Let's all welcome back…Riley!"
The boat arrived but no one got off.
"Riley!" Chris repeated.
Nothing happened.
"Ugh, remind me why we brought this guy back?" Chris groaned.
"I'll get him," Chef grunted as he marched onto the boat.
He came out with a Hispanic boy with red hair. He was only wearing red, button-up pyjamas. He was also in a deep slumber, Chef had to carry him and drop him off at the dock.
"Hey Riley," Stanley said. "Nice to see you again."
Riley snored in response.
"So, how exactly did this guy get as far as he did in his season?" Nicole asked in confusion.
"A better question would be, how the f**k did he outlast me!?" Misha scoffed.
"Right, that's very important," Nicole replied sarcastically.
"Don't sass me," Misha spat.
"Speaking of sass," Blaineley said, "this next girl has plenty of it…she had a passion for fashion, but once the game started, she became very passionate about removing the villains. Her team had its fair share, though, and this only put her in trouble. But she's back now, can she succeed this time? Only time will tell for…Zola!"
A plump, dark-skinned girl stepped off the boat. She had brown hair done up in a dreadlock ponytail. She wore all pink leather on her cap, jacket, and skirt. Everything was covered with pieces of gold. Underneath it all, she wore a black jacket.
"Yo, the Zola is back, baby!" she exclaimed.
"Ooh, fun," Gene remarked.
"You," Zola hissed as she narrowed her eyes at him. "I remember you."
"Really, because I don't seem to recall anything memorable about you," Gene said. "Maybe it was because you were a complete waste of my time from start to pitiful finish."
"Yeah, go ahead, laugh it up," Zola growled. "Just you wait. I'll have the last laugh. This is the season of the Zola!"
"You're just making this so much more fun to destroy you," Gene replied.
"Bring it on, baby," Zola said. "I'd like to see you try. I ain't letting no one get the drop on me this time."
"Well, speaking of villains, you're going to love this guy, Zola," Chris said. "On Total Drama Stranded, he played the ultimate mastermind game. Despite never truly holding a majority alliance, he almost always got the vote to go the way he wanted. He played by sticking to the shadows, and letting others spread his seeds of chaos. He is by far one of the most cutthroat players, and after he crashed and burned at the final 4, he's back for another shot. It's…Keith."
A miniscule boy skipped off the boat. He had fluffy platinum hair done up in a large ponytail. He wore a blue and whited striped hoodie, over a grey shirt, and wore green shorts.
"Hi, people!" he exclaimed with a playful grin. "I'm back!"
"He doesn't look like much," Gene scoffed.
"I know right," Keith laughed in response. "Poor lil' Keith was probably the first one gone on his original season. Oh wait, no I wasn't…how does third place sound?"
"I could do that," Gene replied.
"Aw, good for you," Keith continued with his sweet tone. "Just keep trying, I'm sure you'll get there some day. Of course, not this season, because obviously, I'm winning."
"I'd like to see you try," Gene scoffed.
"Thanks, I will!" Keith said brightly. "I'd say the same to you…except, I'd kinda rather if you didn't try, cause that would just be one less person I'd have to worry about, you know."
As Keith continued to walk along the dock, he spotted Stanley.
"Hey, Stanley, old buddy, old pal!" Keith exclaimed as he hopped over to him. "Remember me? Cause I sure remember you."
"Hello, Keith," Stanley sighed.
"Oh…you're not still mad about the whole 'pretending to being into you so I could keep your vote, and then indirectly getting you voted off' thing, are you?" Keith asked.
"What do you think?" Stanley replied.
"Well, you really shouldn't feel bad," Keith said. "In fact, you were one of the few people whose elimination I didn't plan. So good on you for that."
Keith gave a wink and thumbs-up to Stanley. The large boy just grunted in annoyance.
"Right, still mad, I understand," Keith said. "We'll have to talk about that, work past that, maybe be 'just friends,' for now."
Stanley just continued to stare through Keith.
"Let's keep this moving," Chef said, "next up we've got…wait, who? Huh…so this girl was from Total Drama Refresh, originally. She wasn't interested in playing the game, though, and would rather spend time on her electronic devices. She claimed that it was to keep her under the radar, which did work up until the merge where she ended up against a powerful girl's alliance. It's Sooz."
"And there we go," Nicole sighed in disappointment.
A tanned girl stepped off the boat. She had long frizzy black hair flowing down from a purple bandana. She wore golden hoop earrings, a misty purple tanktop, and navy jeans. She was also currently talking into her cellphone.
"Look, Fred, it's no big deal," she said into her phone. "I just have to go on this show for a few months, and I swear I'll be back in time for your recital…what do you mean, you'd rather go with Molly? What does she have that I don't…for the last time, it's just a few months…oh don't give me that…"
"Ahem," Chef said as he took the cellphone from her hand and crushed it.
"Eh, that was a disposable one anyways," Sooz remarked.
"Maybe this time you'll actually focus on the game," Chef said.
"Maybe this time I won't," Sooz retorted. "I'll probably still get farther than I did last time."
"So…first one gone?" Nicole whispered to Nicole and Montana.
"Let's not jump the gun yet, right," Montana replied.
"Right, there are plenty of candidates," Nicole said while glancing at Misha and then Riley.
Sooz didn't bother talking to anyone and just sat down and began playing with her iPod.
"Moving on," Chef said, "this next guy is…flamboyant. He likes to express himself, and his expression is almost always pure uncontained joy. His fun attitude got him caught in the crossfire on his original season, Total Drama Refresh. But he's back…and still happy as ever…it's Dirk!"
A tall boy with blonde hair, that seemed to swirl into a stack stepped off the boat. He wore a bright violet suit, with a crimson bowtie, and a pink heart on his belt.
"Hiiiii, everybody!" he laughed giddily. "I am just, like, so excited to be here. Like you have no idea I was all…Oh my god, I'm gonna be on Total Drama again!"
"Oh sweet Jesus, my eyes!" Zola cried. "What the hell are you wearing?!"
"You like it?" Dirk asked happily as he glanced at his suit.
"You look like Lady Gaga meets Willy Wonka meets a nuclear-powered blender set to puree," Zola spat.
"Aw, thank you," Dirk gushed.
"It wasn't a compliment," Zola said.
"Yes it was!" Dirk laughed.
"Ugh…crazy person," Zola grumbled under her breath.
"Looks like we finally got some male power going," Nicole remarked.
"Hi, Dirky!" Beatrice exclaimed as she waved.
"Who else do we have here?" Blaineley said. "Oh, another bullseye…this girl gives a new definition to the word 'deluded.' She wanted everyone to play nice and friendly, but she saw 'nice' in her own way, and her way was law. Anyone who dared to get on her bad side was in for a world of hurt. Her ballistic attitude made her plenty of enemies, and eventually they got her back just before the merge. Give it up for…Missy!"
A girl with brown hair tied into a tight ponytail stepped onto the dock. She was wearing a purple coat over a green shirt, and wore navy shorts. She had an icy glare in her blue eyes.
"Typical," she spat, "out of everyone you could choose, you just packed your season full of the worst slime you could find."
"Is she talking about me?" Beatrice gasped in hurt.
"Clearly, picking me was the one smart thing you did with this cast," Missy continued. "It's up to me to purge this cast of the evil you've filled it with, as I am clearly the only suitable winner here."
"Now listen here, you," Zola said. "If you're going to keep up that attitude—"
"Don't use that tone with me," Missy spat as she kicked Zola in the shin.
"Oooh, you little brat!" Zola hissed.
"You don't have the right to talk to me like that," Missy sniffed. "You are a wretched person."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zola said, "back up a few kilometers…I was trying to get rid of the mean people."
"Oh sure, use that as an excuse," Missy scoffed. "Self-righteous people like you are just as bad as the meanies, if not worse. You think that just because you're got such a 'good cause' you can still act rude to whoever you want. Well sorry, but it doesn't work that way, so I suggest you clean up your act, or else I will be taking action against you."
"Ooh, this is getting good," Keith chuckled.
"And now," Chef said, "let's say hello to our next contestant…this guy was from Total Drama Refresh…starting out, he played the villainous card and tried to manipulate his way into power…but things backfired, and he ended up powerless at the merge. Suddenly, he was forced to fight to survive everyday…eventually, all his victims came back to bite him as he was pulled out of the game in the final 5…it's Edward!"
A boy with short, dirty blonde, neatly combed hair stepped off the dock daintily. He wore a brown sweater with a stripe across it, and black pants.
"Hello again, Edward," Chef said.
"Greetings, Chef," Edward said. "And greetings to all of you too…it's a pleasure to be joining you on this cast."
"Well, most of us," Nicole remarked under her breath.
Missy glared at Edward icily, but didn't say anything. Edward glanced at her awkwardly, before moving along the dock.
"Let's see, who's next," Blaineley said. "Seriously…who is this? Oh well, apparently she was on Total Drama Switcheroo…she was a big fan of Twilight, and could get vicious to anyone who badmouthed it. But underneath that, she was a sweet girl who was willing to make friends. She was caught in a crossfire and taken out early. She's back to get another shot, meet…Willow!"
A small girl with ebony hair that hung over the sides of her forehead stepped onto the dock. She had a crimson hairband and bow in her hair. She wore a navy sweater with a cyan diamond on it, and black shorts.
"Hi there!" she greeted.
"Welcome back, whoever you are," Blaineley said.
"It's me, Willow," she greeted.
"Not ringing any bells," Blaineley remarked. "But whatever, apparently you exist, so get over there with the others."
"I changed my mind about you," Gene said to Zola. "You're the second most irrelevant person I ever destroyed."
"Okay, you guys have hogged the screen long enough," Chris said. "Back to me now, please. Anyways, we've got another Total Drama Stranded player coming back…her strategy was to play the role of a loopy prophetess, who predicted her own demise. It was all a ruse though to get everyone off guard and get her to the end. She had to drop the charade by the merge, but that didn't make her any less of a fierce player. By playing hard, she got herself all the way to sixth place. You know her as Desdemona, but now she just goes by…Donna!"
An olive skinned girl with short, mousy brown hair stepped off the dock. She had deep green eyes, and a small smile. She wore a grey shirt, with a green eye pattern on the center, and jeans.
"Hello, everyone," she greeted. "It's just me this time. No gimmicks or facades, you're getting the real deal."
"Well, isn't that original," Misha remarked as she rolled her eyes.
"Hi, Des!" Keith exclaimed. "Remember me? Remember how you could never get rid of me no matter how hard you tried? Ready to do that again!?"
"I know your tricks this time," Donna replied.
"Ha, says that one-trick pony," Keith replied. "Please, you don't know have of what I've got in store."
"Then I'll just have to learn," Donna said. "I think I can take you."
"Ooh, up for a challenge are you?" Keith replied. "Have fun failing, I guess."
"Up next," Chef said, "is a guy from Total Drama Refresh…his strategy was to use his body to get himself ahead. He never even wore a shirt, and the girls were crazy for him…well, most of them. Some did more damage to him, and let to an ongoing rivalry. Yet in the end, he only has to blame his biggest fan for his elimination. We're talking about…Lionel!"
A muscular boy with light blond hair and blue eyes exited the boat. He was wearing a colourful Hawaiian shirt loosely over his body. Beneath that, he wore short teal shorts.
"Hello, ladies," he greeted.
"Whoa, he's hot," Stanley remarked.
"Don't bother with him," Nicole said. "His immature behaviour far outweighs his dreamy body, deep beautiful eyes, killer smile and…"
Nicole slapped herself.
"Get ahold of yourself, girl," she scolded herself.
"Hi, Lionel!" Beatrice greeted. "Sorry about…well, you know…the whole season."
"Don't worry you can make it up to me," Lionel said. "Just go jump off that cliff."
"Anything for you!" Beatrice exclaimed.
"Bea, we seriously need to have a talk about a little thing called 'feminism,'" Nicole said as she grabbed Beatrice and pulled her back.
"Moving along," Chris said, "this girl is from Total Drama Stranded, and she left her mark…she vowed to play with honour, and she did that. She stood up to the bullies on her tribe, and always worked hard to achieve tribe unity. She never got it, but hey, A for effort. She got herself all the way to the final 4, where she came in last place…but it's a whole new season for…Ilona!"
An girl with shoulder length brown hair, and tan skin stepped off the boat. She had a kind smile, and deep brown eyes. She wore a pink blouse, and a blue skirt.
"Ilona, you're not looking as rough as you did last time," Chris said.
"No thinks have really picked up for me," Ilona said. "I'm back on my feet, taking care of myself. I even volunteer at the local rec center teaching martial arts to kids."
"I bet you think you're so perfect," Missy growled. "And well…I have nothing to accuse you…but mark my words, I'll find something."
"I assure you, I'm far from perfect," Ilona said. "We all have flaws. I'm just trying my best to work with what I can."
"Ugh, she needs to get out fast," Edward remarked to Gene. "With a story like that, who could resisting just handing her the prize."
"I could," Gene replied.
"Right, I forgot that you're pure evil," Edward remarked.
"Next!" Chris exclaimed. "This guy was by far the biggest physical threat on his original season, Total Drama Stranded…he was a tank who plowed through challenges. He played a follower roll, to his tribes brutish leader, and always enforced his power. Thanks to the season's mastermind, though, he left the island with a broken leg. Well, he's all better now, so give it up for…JoJo!"
A tall muscular ball with shaggy blond hair stepped off the boat. He had deep blue eyes that were fixated into a scowl. He wore a dark green sweater with a red circle in the middle, and grey pants.
"It's just Joseph, actually," he said to Chris.
"Uh, okay…" Chris said. "Joseph, then…what's up?"
"Not much," Joseph shrugged. "You know…here to win…all that."
"Are you sure this is the same guy?" Chef whispered to Chris.
Chris just shrugged in response.
"Hello again, Jo—er, Joseph," Ilona greeted.
"Hey," he said. "Look…last season…I was pretty much a huge dick to you, you don't need to point that out. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, and I'm not going to be like that this time."
"I'm happy to move forward," Ilona said. "If we can mend our frayed bonds, then I accept your apology."
"Well, I don't!" Missy spat.
"Uh, you weren't even on our season," Stanley pointed out.
"I still don't forgive this jerk!" Missy shouted. "He was nothing but a bully, and bullies need to be punished!"
"Um, hello…I had my leg broken," Joseph pointed out.
"By another villain…so really, that just cancels the whole thing out," Missy said. "If you really want to make amends, then you'd let someone noble, like me, break your leg again."
"Are you insane?" Joseph scoffed.
"Oh, so now you're moving onto derogatory comments, are you?" Missy continued. "Just as I suspected, so much for your phony apology."
"Perhaps you should calm down," Ilona suggested.
"No, perhaps you should calm UP!" Missy retorted. "This guy hasn't changed one bit, and I intend to see that he gets the karma he truly deserves!"
"Okay, we've got just one contestant left to introduce," Blaineley said. "This guy took OCD to…religious levels. Everything had to be perfectly organized and balanced for him…one little speck out of place, and he could be sent into a tantrum. This attitude caused friction early on with his other teammates and got him eliminated second. If he can keep his balance up, then he'll be second place this time…let's say hi to…Kyle!"
A boy with very neatly combed, golden-brown hair stepped onto the dock. He wore a tidy black suit with a red tie.
"Kyle, is that the same suit you wore last season?" Blaineley asked.
"No, it is not," Kyle replied. "I just have 31 identical suits, one for every day of the week."
"I see," Blaineley replied.
"Wait a minute!" Kyle gasped in horror as he spotted Chris. "What…what are you doing here!?"
"Um, I'm Chris McClean," Chris said. "This is my show, you know?"
"No, no, no, no!" Kyle pouted. "You can't be here!"
"Well, I am," Chris said.
"Ugh, it was so perfect, you finally had it perfect!" Kyle sobbed. "One male host, and one female host, perfect balance. Now it's all mucked up. Where's the balance between two male hosts and one female? There is none, that's where!"
"See what I had to put up with," Blaineley grunted to Chris.
"And just look at the whole lot of you," Kyle scolded. "Milling about without a care for actually organizing yourselves. Would it kill you to stand in rows of seasons, descending boot order, with girls on one side and boys on the other?"
Everyone looked around in confusion.
"Ugh, it couldn't be simpler," Kyle groaned.
"Okay, people, you're all here!" Chris exclaimed. "Take a look around, this is your All-Star cast. You've all played the game before, and now you'll be battling each other for another chance at the million dollars."
"But before we continue," Blaineley said. "We'd like to ask each of you to return to the Confession Cam, and let the audience know what you're thinking right now."
Confessional:
Stanley-I really need to pick up my game this time. I mean, Keith was dangerous enough on his own, but now I'm playing with people like Edward and Gene. I need to watch my back every step of the way.
Beatrice-I'm telling you right now, this is going to be the season of Beatrice! I don't even need to win, I just want to win, so that when people talk about this season, they'll say 'Oh yeah, that was the season with Beatrice.'
Mason-I've had it rough back at home, but I've learned from my mistakes and I'm ready to improve my game. This time, I'm actually in it to win, and I intend to play with that in mind.
Montana-It's just super-duper to me back. I mean, I know that some people think it's unfair to have a winner return, right, but I just say phooey to them. If I want to win again, then that's just what I'll do, right, right.
Misha-Last time I played it stupid. What the f**k was I thinking with that idiotic strategy. This time I'm just going to flat out say it, 'Yeah, I'm the strongest person on your tribe, and if you want to win challenge, you'd better f**king keep me around.'
Gene-Last time I played, things didn't always go my way, but I was resilient enough to get to the end…and I only lost because it was a cheap challenge. I just need to do that again, and this time I'm sure it'll be something that I can excel at.
Nicole-I began a bit of a cutthroat last time, and while I don't want to do that again, I do want to play a strong strategic game. I'm going to be making moves, so watch out.
Riley-Why am I here?
Zola-Ooh, you just had to bring back all your beloved villains, didn't you? Cuz of the drams and the ratings and all that jazz. Well, you're out of luck, cuz the Zola is here and I ain't taking any of that crap this time.
Keith-Cute cast you got here. I find it funny how you used the term, All-Stars, though. It's more like Total Drama: Solar System, one star, me, and the rest will just orbit around me.
Sooz-(on phone) Molly, you listen to me, if you even think of making a move on Fred, I will get you…oh, you're not scared….is that so….well, I'll have you know that I can still send you a threatening email from here…yeah, think about it.
Dirk-Eeeeee, being back here is the greatest feeling ever. And not only am I with my old pals from Refresh, I get to meet my favorites from Stranded and Switcheroo…this has got to be a dream, oh somebody pinch me.
Missy-Total Drama is such an awful program. It's always focused on the villains and glorifies people who play dirty. Well, it's your rules now, so I'm going to play as dirty as you want to get rid of all these meanies. It's only fair.
Edward-Last time I played too hard too fast. I made myself a target and things fell apart. I'm willing to take things a little slower this time, and make sure I get right where I want to be.
Willow-I realize that the most memorable thing about me may have been Twilight, but there's more to me than just that and you'll see it…although, Twilight is still amazingly awesome, Edward Cullen is still my future husband, and Stephanie Meyer is still our God.
Donna-Sure, last time I got far because I played a façade, I'll admit that. But I didn't just make that up on the spot, I came up with it because I know how this game works and how these people thing. I don't need a fancy dress to win them over.
Lionel-This time I'm taking charge. I'm not letting anyone boss me around; I'm going to be the man on my team.
Ilona-As always, I hope to play a peaceful game with honour. I can tell though, that with these people that may not be a possibility. But you can count on me to do what I can to keep tensions at a low.
Joseph-A lot of stuff happened to me back home…I don't really want to talk about it…but I'm not on the football team anymore, and I'm a different guy than I was last season.
Kyle-Clearly, I have my work cut out for me, but mark my words, when I'm done here, this season will be perfectly balanced…(pulls out ruler) and why is this outhouse not a perfect square!?
"Okay, we're back," Chef said as the twenty campers waited on the dock. "Now, we need you to get into two groups. On the left….Stanley, Zola, Nicole, Gene, Edward, Willow, Keith, Misha, Donna, Lionel…"
The ten selected contestants shrugged and took their spots.
"Leaving on the right," Chef continued, "Beatrice, Mason, Ilona, Joseph, Sooz, Riley, Montana, Missy, Dirk, Kyle."
"You see," Chris said, "all of you were selected for a reason…uh, except you, Willow, you're here because Simone canceled last minute and we needed a replacement."
"Aren't I special?" Willow replied.
"But as it stands, you have been divided into two groups based on your gameplay in your original season," Blaineley continued. "On the left, you all played knowing exactly what kind of strategy you had in mind, and you worked hard to take control of the game…you shall now be known as…Team Cutthroat!"
A green icon with a cutlass appeared beneath them.
"On the right," Blaineley continued, "you all played much crazier games. Whether you were emotional players, floaters, or just plain psycho. You all were unpredictable at times, and you made your teams that much more chaotic…you shall be known as…Team Trainwreck!"
A yellow icon with a train appeared beneath the new team.
"Now, we can begin!" Chris exclaimed.
"Um, Chris?" Beatrice exclaimed as she raised her hand. "I hate to be a bother, but I think you made a mistake with the teams."
"What do you mean?" Chris asked.
"Well, clearly I'm on the wrong one," Beatrice said. "I played an epic strategic game."
"Uh, Bea, let's look back, shall we?" Chris said. "You came to the game looking for a boyfriend, when you couldn't get one you threw a tantrum and attacked anyone close to you, you then knocked the boy of your dreams out cold with a frying pan, thus eliminating him, when on a crazy ego-trip, only to get eliminated. Sounds like a textbook definition of a trainwreck to me."
"Well, that was all editing," Beatrice pouted. "What about all the smart stuff I did?"
"No amount of editing could make you look smart," Chef remarked.
"Look, the teams have been sit all nice and organized," Chris said, "so, unless someone else wants to switch—"
"I'll do it," Nicole offered.
"Wait? What?" Chris said.
"Sure, why not?" Nicole replied. "We're from the same season, and the same gender, everything will still be organized."
"Yeah but…the teams will…fine, whatever," Chris sighed. "If it'll make you happy, switch teams, we've got a show to run here."
Beatrice and Nicole smiled at each other as they traded spots.
"Now," Chris said, "we are ready to begin…this is going to be one epic summer, so get ready for Total Drama: Return of the Stars!"
Author's Note: So there you have it, that's the start of the season. What do you think? Happy to see any favorites back? Anyone surprise you? I'll try to finish this episode soon, then I'll decide what my next step should be.