_~*PARTY AT GIOVANNI'S!!!*~_
Disclaimer: Disclaimers are boring, annoying and take up too much space, so I'm not even going to bother saying that none of these characters belong to me and that they're all owned by Nintendo, 4Kids and in some cases Midnight Oil, so there! Wait a sec…
AN: This fic is dedicated to my other fic, 'The Teenager's Guide To Pokemon Fandom and Shippyness' which got deleted from ff.net! Well, it was more of an essay than a fic- that's why they deleted it. WAAAAAAH!
PS: This is the stupidest thing I've ever written. Oh well, I guess the Summer heat's getting to me O_o
PPS: Incase ya can't tell, I'm a Midnight Oil fan ^_^!
It's seven o'clock at night and Jessie, James and Meowth are standing in front of a huge mansion- not as big as the one James' family resides in, but still pretty damn big!
Jessie: *reading the invitation she's holding* 666 Criminal Lane… I guess this is the place!
James: Wow! The Boss must be loaded to own a place like this!
Meowth: Of course he's loaded! What with all dem *competent* Rockets robbing banks and stuff-
Jessie: Are you saying we aren't competent?!!
Meowth: You said it, not me!
Jessie: *does the one thing a woman like her would do in a position like this- whacks Meowth upside the head with her fan*
Meowth: Ow…
James: Can we go in now?
Jessie: Why not.
*The trio walk through the open gates of the estate, and up a long path leading to the mansion*
James: It sure was nice of the Boss to invite us to his 'Let's Get Drunk' party!
Jessie: Free food, free drink, free entertainment- what more could you ask for?
Meowth: *still a bit groggy* Howzabout an ice pack?
Jessie: Shut up cat.
*They finally reach the door, and ring the doorbell. Giovanni himself answers*
Giovanni: Welcome, you three! Come inside!
*Jessie, James and Meowth do so, and are led into a big room with a large stereo pumping out music (Midnight Oil of course- this guy's got taste! XD!), tables with all sorts of party food on them, and…*
Jessie: HER!
Cassidy: HER!
Butch: *points to James* HER!
James: Hi- hey!
Giovanni: Oh, knock it off already! Can't you guys get along for just one night?
Jessie, Cassidy, James and Butch: *grumble* Yes Sir…
Giovanni: Good! The other guests should be arriving any time now, and so should the eight thousand and twelve pizzas I ordered! Then we can really get things started.
Meowth: Dat's a lotta pizzas! I'm gonna be picking cheese outta my whiskers for weeks!
James: Yeah! How many people did you invite to this thing anyway?
Giovanni: Well I- *doorbell rings* whoops, be back in a moment! *walks briskly out of the room to answer the door. A few moments later he returns with…*
Jessie and James: The twerps?!!
Ash: Hey guys! *waves*
Togepi: Togi priiii!
Pikachu: Pikachu! (well what did you expect them to say?!)
Misty: We're part of the cast too, ya know!
Brock: So when are all the Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys turning up?
Tracey: Wow, look at the size of that stereo! I've gotta sketch this!
Meowth: Hang on a moment, let me get this straight- you invited the entire cast?!
Giovanni: That's right!
Meowth: *sigh* Dis is gunna be interesting!
*Five minutes later, people are wandering around picking at the party food, when the doorbell rings again*
Giovanni: I'll get it!
Jessie: *to James, who is currently stuffing his face with donuts* I wonder who it'll be this time.
*Professor Oak, Mrs. Ketchum and Gary and his cheerleaders enter*
Professor Oak: Hi everyone!
Gary: *walks up to Ash* Hey, loser! What's an idiot like you doing at a cool party like this?
Ash: Grr… for your information I- hey, is your grandfather touching my mother's butt?
Gary: *Glances at Professor Oak and Mrs. Ketchum* Looks like it.
Ash: EWW!
Gary: Yeah, I know. They've been doing that kind of thing a lot lately. You know, it's one thing to be touching each other's butts, but when they're groaning and moaning all night long in the room next to mine, it gets just plain annoying!
Ash: *falls anime style, now mentally scarred for life*
*Doorbell rings again, and Giovanni answers the door. Soon after, a hundred and eight Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys walk into the room*
Brock: So many pretty girls! Where do I begin? Oh man, all the blood's rushing from my head and… going south!
*Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys make a desperate attempt to hide from Brock for the rest of the night. Soon after, things settle down and people start to mingle and dance to the current song, 'King of the Mountain' (Midnight Oil we love ya! ;)!). The lights have been set so that the room is at half-light, save the twirling disco ball.*
Meowth: *sneaking away from the crowd and over to the incredibly large punch bowl* Wow, dis thing is huge! I could go swimming in it! Good thing I brought eight bottles of rum! *Starts pouring bottle after bottle into the murky liquid*
Tracey: …And that's the correct way to sharpen your pencil!
Officer Jenny: Uh, okay… *desperately looking for an escape route* I have to go over here now. *takes off in the opposite direction*
Tracey: WAIT! I haven't explained the best way to wear a gay looking headband yet!
*doorbell rings, and once again, Giovanni answers it. Mondo, along with Jessiebelle and James's parents, are soon partying down with the rest of the gang*
James: *spots Jessiebelle, who is obviously scanning the masses for her long lost 'love'* EEK! *runs over to Jessie, who is chewing on some lollies* Quick, hide me!
Jessie: What? Why?
James: It's- it's-
Jessiebelle: *from a few meters away* There you are, my darlin'!
James: AHHH! *hides behind Jessie*
Jessiebelle: *approaches them* Oh, it's been so long since I've seen you! Those awful animators never included me in the series again after 'Holy Matrimony!', but now that we're here at the party together, we'll never have to be apart again!
James: Noooooooo!! Jessiebelle, get away from me! I don't love you, I never have, and quite frankly, I think you're an absolute psychopath! I don't want to marry you Jessiebelle, and that's all there is to it!
Jessiebelle: What? Don't flatter yourself, James. I'm talking to Jessie.
Jessie and James: WHAT?!!
Jessiebelle: So Jessie, want to go into a dark corner and make out?
Jessie: *shudders* This has to be the most disturbing party I've ever been too…
Giovanni: *in a slurred voice* You sure are puh-reddy in this light, you know that?
Mondo: Excuse me, Sir?!
Giovanni: *whispering* But don't tell Cassidy I said that! *falls on the floor laughing*
Mondo: Uh… lil' help? Someone? ANYONE?!
Giovanni: Man, that's the best tasting punch I've had all year! *passes out*
Meowth: *wathcing* Hm… needs more vodka. *starts pouring the said substance into the punch, which is now 20% alcohol*
*Ding dong!*
Mondo: Maybe I'd better get that. *Goes to the door, and is swarmed by a huge crowd, who all move into the party room. Thinking quick, he hides under a nearby chair until the mob has passed* Phew, that was close! I don't particularly feel like being trampled tonight, especially by them, the miscellaneous characters like Prima, Todd, every single bystander and crowd member there ever was and that gay magician from the Pokemon league!
*Getting out from under the chair just as the doorbell sounds again*
Mondo: *opens the door and is trampled by over two hundred different types of Pokemon* Ahhhh! *disappears under the masses*
Meanwhile…
Togepi: *waddles over to the punch* Togi togi? *leans over the edge of the bowl and takes a long drink* Priiiiiii!
Mewtwo: So, Mew, it's been a while? How's life treating you?
Mew: Ah, same old same old. Hundreds of pokemon trainers trying to capture me, constantly being mistaken for cute even thought I've killed and maimed thousands of innocent people. You know the story.
Mewtwo: True, true.
Psyduck: *humping the table leg*
Articuno: Moltres, will you get the hell away from me?! You're melting my feathers!
Moltres: Aw, but you're the only friend I have around here!
Articuno: What happened to Zapdos?
Moltres: He's pissed off 'cos I hooked up my toaster and dishwasher to him while he slept. But he exerts the perfect amount of electricity to make the best toast you've ever eaten!
Articuno: Cool! I gotta try that sometime!
Moltres: Not likely.
Artucuno: Why?
Moltres: I used up the last of his electricity after I hooked him up to my vibrator. But man, it was worth it!
Pikachu: Pikachu, pika pika! (Ash, why do you keep following me around?)
Ash: What was that? You want to get something to eat? That's just what I was thinking! Let's grab some cherios!
Pikachu: PIKA! Pika pikachu, pika pi, pi pi chu! Pikachu! (You dumbass, I was asking why you're always hanging around me! You won't even leave me alone at this damn party! I can't tolerate you anymore, always getting us lost and always sending ME out into battle whilst your other Pokemon just kick back in their pokeballs. Go get fucked!)
Ash: I love you too, Pikachu! Best friends forever, right?
Pikachu: Pika. (That's it, I'm joining Team Rocket!)
Butch: *listening to the music* Ooo, I love this song! *sings* Oh-oh, the power and the passion! *glasses break* Oh-oh, the temper of the time! *windows shatter* Oh-oh, the power and the passion! *eardrums burst* Sometimes you gotta… *in normal voice* Hm, I forget how the rest of it goes.
Cassidy: *reaches down Butch's throat and pulls out his voicebox, only to discover that there is a frog in it! The frog grins up at her innocently, and hops away, and Cassidy replaces the voicebox.*
Butch: *sounding more like Austin Powers* Wow, so that's where my pet frog got to! I missed him! *runs after the frog* Here Freddy, Freddy, Freddy!
Cassidy: I *guess* that's a good thing… but where the hell did he pick up the British accent? (Cassidy is completely oblivious to the fact that Butch is really the Queen in disguise)
Misty: So are we actually going to do something interesting at this stupid party or not?!
Jessie: Um… FOOD FIGHT!!!
*hundreds of guests grab at the party food and start throwing it in all sorts of directions*
Misty: *getting hit by party pies and globs of tomato sauce* Ew, that's not what I meant! *gets hit in the back of the head by an overcooked meatball and falls unconscious*
Meowth: *from behind Misty* Bullseye!
Butch: *about to throw Freddy at James* Take this!
James: Ahhh!! *opens his mouth at the wrong time, and Freddy is thrown down his orsophagus. James coughs a bit.* Hey, what was- oh my God! I sound like Butch! AHHHHHHH!!
*five minutes later, the food fight has come to an end. Party guests are covered in all sorts of different foods, and are obviously feeling uncomfortable*
Togapi: Toge *hic* priiiii! *falls over*
Brock: This is gross! I can't walk around the rest of the night covered in this slop!
Giovanni: *suddenly regains consciousness* EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!!
*The masses run towards the large swimming pool outside and jump in fully clothed, except for Professor Oak and Mrs. Ketchum- they're content with licking the food off each other*
Tracey: *jumps in the deep end* Yay, pool party! *starts sinking* Oh no, I forgot- I can't swim! Somebody help meeeee…! *gurgle, gurgle*
Gary: Let's have a game of water polo! *Throws a distraught Jiggilypuff into the air*
The bad guy from the Pokemon 2000 movie: I got it! *reaches up and whacks Jiggilypuff in another direction*
Tracey: *clambering out of the pool, coughing and spluttering all the while* Oh, my aching lungs! *gets whacked in the head by the flying Jiggilypuff and passes out*
Professor Ivy: *standing in a corner smoking pot with all of her little lesbian assistants* Woah, man, this is like so totally trippy! *takes a long drag*
Jessiebelle! *approaches them* Hey girls, wanna go make out in a dark corner?
Professor Ivy and co.: Okay!
Giovanni: *standing on the side of the pool in his underwear* I'm the king of the world!! Woohoo!!
James: Jess, you getting all this?
Jessie: *holding a video camera* Oh yeah!
*After everyone has had their fair share of mucking about in the pool, the guests head back inside, dripping water everywhere, and getting onto the dance floor (with the third Midnight Oil CD of the evening playing ^_^!)*
Jessie: Hey Boss?
Giovanni: *lying drunk in a puddle of punch* Yeah?
Jessie: Can we have a raise?
Giovanni: Sure, go for it! *obviously far too drunk for his own good*
James: Hey Boss?
Giovanni: Yeah?
James: Why did you have such a warped voice earlier on in the series but got a normal one later on?
Giovanni: I think I had something in my throat…
*Upon hearing this, Freddy the frog jumps out of James's throat and down Giovanni's*
Giovanni: *sounding more like he did earlier on in the series* Yeah, that's it!
Officer Jenny: Look how drunk you are! You can't even walk in a straight line! I think I'd better take you down to the watch house!
Togepi: Toge *hic* priiii!
Ash: Hey, has anyone seen Pikachu?
Pikachu: *hiding under a table, praying that his idiot trainer doesn't see him. Unfortunately, this doesn't work, and Ash manages to track him down*
Ash: There you are, little buddy! *picks him up and hugs him*
Pikachu: Pikaaaaaa! Chu chu, pika ka, pikachu! (Ahhhhhh! Somebody help me!)
Ash: I love you too, Pikachu! I promise we'll never be apart ever again, ever!
Pikachu: Chuuuuu!!! (Noooooo!!!)
Cassidy: Hey Boss?
Giovanni: *still as drunk as a skunk* Yes?
Cassidy: Can I have two weeks paid vacation?
Giovanni: Sure, why not! Just bring me back some little pink elephants, they're yummy…
Cassidy: Uh, riiiiiiiiiight. *Rushes off to board the next plane to Fiji*
Giovanni: *waving* Byeee!
Brock: Hey Boss, I mean, hey Giovanni?
Giovanni: Yes, sweetheart?
Brock: Uh… I'm going to ignore that. Anyway, weren't there supposed to be a few thousand pizzas on their way?
Giovanni: Yeah, whatever happened to them, I called the pizza joint over two hours ago! *staggers over to the phone and dials the number of the pizza joint* This is the Boss, and I'm sick of waiting!
Pizza guy: Excuse me? What are you talking about?
Giovanni: Uh- I forget. Wait a minute, I remember! I want Pikachu, and this time don't screw it up!
Back up singers: Prepare for trouble, make it double! Prepare for trouble, make it double!
Pizza guy: Uh… would you like to order a pizza, Sir?
Giovanni: I ordered a pizza more than two hours ago and it still hasn't arrived! Oh… maybe I just dreamed it.
Hundreds of impatient guests: WHAT?!
Giovanni: Oh yeah, now I remember! I was talking with Cassidy before the rest of the guests arrived and she gave me a drink called 'This Will Put You To Sleep And I Will Become Boss Of Team Rocket Hahahahahah', and then I fell asleep! I must've dreamed ordering that pizza!
Hundreds of impatient guests: *fall over anime style*
Cassidy: *on a plane halfway to Fiji* It's a shame Giovanni woke up before I could take over Team Rocket, but at least I'm getting two weeks paid vacation in a tropical paradise!
Pilot: *over the PA* Attention passengers, we regret to announce that the right wing has just fallen off this plane. Please buckle you seatbelts prepare for a horrible fiery death. We hope you fly with Ansett again. Thank you!
Cassidy: Nooooooooo!!
Meanwhile, back at the party, the pizzas have been re-ordered and have finally arrived.
Pizza dude: That'll be $800, 385, 604 217, 196, 212, 379.85 please.
Giovanni: Uh… got change for a fifty?
*Hundreds of ravenous cast members trample Giovanni in the mad rush for pizza as he walks into the party zone*
Giovanni: Ow! *passes out*
James: *Shoving pizza into his mouth at an alarming rate*
Jessie: Please James, have some manners!
James: *accidentally spitting pizza at her as he speaks* But Jess, this one's got extra anchovies!
Jessie: Ew! *wiping bits of chewed up pizza off her uniform* That's revolting!
James: *swallowing* Oops, eh heh! Uh, I think I'll go get some punch.
Jessie: Oh, you want punch, do you? Well here's yer stinking punch!! *BAM!*
Tracey: Wow, this pizza is so perfectly cut, with just the right amount of topping! I'm gonna sketch it!
Misty: Tracey, you're an idiot. Whose idea was it to put you in this damn show, anyway?
Brock: Yeah! Do you have any idea what it can do to one's self esteem to be replaced?!
Ash: Come to think of it, you were pretty annoying Tracey.
*Tracey sweatdrops as the rest of the crowd gathers around him seething*
Nurse Joy: I caught him outside my window sketching me while I was in the shower!
Gary: He was stalking my sister for three whole weeks, and she was never even in the cartoon!
Tracey: Well, I, uh… hey, look over there!
*Everyone just glares at him*
Tracey: Damn, I thought for sure that would avert their attention.
*Everyone picks up conveniently placed blunt metal objects and bash Tracey to a bloody pulp. Except for James, who is busy with other things…*
James: *holding a glass of spiked punch, and talking to a wall* Jessie, I have to tell you- I love you! I loved you from the minute I first laid eyes on you, but I never had the courage to tell you! Please say you love me too!
Wall: *no response- come on, it's a wall for God's sake!*
James: Oh no, please don't give me the silent treatment!
Wall: *no response*
James: *pokes the wall- it doesn't move*
James: Ahhhhh! I've killed her! *runs away screaming*
*It's almost midnight, and people are getting a bit tired*
Ash: I should probably get going. I've got school in the morning.
Misty: But you never go to school, Ash!
Mrs. Ketchum: What was that? Ash, you promised me that you'd continue going to school while you were on your Pokemon journey!
Ash: Uh… hey, look over there!
Mrs. Ketchum: That's it, young man, you're grounded for life!
Ash: No, please, anything but that!
Gary: Nice work, Ashy boy! Now you'll have to stay at home and listen to your Mum and my Grandpa moaning in the room next to yours!
Ash: Noooooo! *his head explodes, splattering blood all over the walls and on a few nearby guests*
Pikachu: Pika pikachu! (It's about bloody time!)
Soon after this event, people slowly begin to leave, except for those who are a) making out, b) passed out on the floor or c) capturing the whole event on video…
Jessie: *walking through the upper levels of the mansion where all of the three bedrooms are located, and looking through her video camera* Now, let's see what's behind door number one! *opens a random bedroom door to find Jessiebelle, Professor Ivy and her little lesbian assistants getting it on*
Jessiebelle: Jessie! I knew you'd come back to me!
Jessie: *quickly closes the door again* Hm, bad choice. Let's see who's in the next one! *opens another door and finds a very drunk Butch with an Officer Jenny*
Butch: Shaggadelic, Baby!
*A few minutes of blackmail footage later, Jessie opens another door and finds Professor Oak, Mrs. Ketchum, James, and an unidentified person all fooling around under the sheets*
Jessie: Ahhhh! James, what is the meaning of this!
James: Well, there wasn't enough bedrooms for us to have one each, so we decided to share- wait a minute, is that you Jessie?
Jessie: Of course it's me, you idiot!
James: Then who did I… oh no.
Giovanni: *from under the covers* Hey James, are we gonna finish this or what?
James: Nooooooo!!
Back down stairs…
Jiggilypuff: *jumps up onto the stereo and starts to sing over the Midnight Oil CD* Jiggilypuff, jiggilyyyyypuff!
Back up singers: *singing over Jiggilypuff* I'm on the road to Viridian City!
Misty: *singing over Back up singers* I love youuu!!
Narrator:
*sings* There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose willy was so long he could-
*A group of people burst through the door in a cloud of smoke, Team Rocket style. It clears to reveal…*
Midnight Oil: Hey, what do you think you're doing singing over our CD like that?!
*Everyone shuts up*
Midnight Oil: That's better. Now, I think we'd better- hey look, punch! *they run over and start drinking, and soon collapse like most other people who have tasted it throughout the night*
*A silence falls over the crowd, who now have absolutely nothing to do (except for Meowth, who is floating face down in the punch gurgling)*
Nurse Joy *drunk*: Wanna have a mass orgy?
Everyone *drunk as well*: Okay!
The next day…
*Everyone wakes up with a headache, most of them not wearing any pants*
Everyone: Ahhh!
Mondo: Woah, what happened? *turns to face Dr. Proctor*
Mondo and Doctor Proctor: AHHH! YOU'RE NOT JESSIE!! *both jump out a nearby window and onto the lawn, running away in opposite directions, never to be seen again*
Nurse Joy: Oh my God! I slept with my sister-in-law's cousin's aunt's mother's stepsister!
Officer Jenny: And I slept with my niece's grandmother's second cousin's sister's daughter!
Gary's cheerleaders: And we slept with…
Brock: *yawn* Good morning, ladies!
*Officer Jennys, Nurse Joys and Gary's cheerleaders rush outside to puke in the gutter. Brock looks around, confused*
Brock: Where'd they all go? Oh well, at least I still have you, my little yellow friend!
Pikachu: Pikaaa… (Oh well, at least it beats being with Ash…)
Midnight Oil: *waking up* Oh man, what happened last night? Ah well, who cares, let's go sing songs about blowing up John Howard! *They leave*
Misty: *wakes up and blinks* Where am I?
Professor Ivy: Ah, I see you're awake! Do you have any idea how whiney you were last night when we were undressing you?!
Misty: Oh shit!
Mrs. Ketchum: *wakes on the kitchen table to find Professor Oak lying dead next to her* Yay, I get the old fart's money!
Gary: *appearing out of thin air* Actually, he lost all his money on the horsies last week. He's got nothing.
Mrs. Ketchum: WHAT?!! I slept with him all this time for NOTHING?!
Gary: Oh well, at least I have my great big trust fund, so I don't have to worry!
Mrs. Ketchum: … Hey Gary, want me to show you how a middle aged woman does it? *winks*
Gary: Ahhhh!! *runs off with Mrs. Ketchum in hot pursuit*
Jessie: *wakes up next to James* Morning, sweety.
James: Morning. *they kiss, but break it off when they fell something moving underneath the covers*
Giovanni: *Pops up between the two* Oh man, you wouldn't believe the dream I had last night! *looks at the naked Jessie and James, then himself, realizing he isn't wearing any pants* Woah… this ain't good…
Charizard: Gross, there's a Meowth floating in the punch!
Poliwhirl: Ew, I drunk some of that stuff last night!
Other random Pokemon: Me too!
Meowth: *Rolls onto his back* Gooooood morning everyone! *hic* I had the nicest dream last night- I was eating a great, big, yummy plate of scrambled eggs!
Mewtwo: That reminds me- has anyone seen Togapi lately?
Meowth: *looks at his swollen, Togapi sized stomach* Uh oh.
Back up singer #1: *in a raspy tone* I've lost my voice! It must've been all that off-key singing we did last night!
Back up singer #2: *also in a raspy tone* Oh no, the record company won't pay us if we can't sing!
Back up singer #3: Now I won't be able to send my kids to college!
*they all break down and cry*
Psyduck: *has been humping the table all night, and now wakes up to find that he has a whole lot of splinters in a very sensitive spot* Psyyyyyy! (Ahhhhh!)
*Everyone regrets ever attending the party and leaves- even Brock and Pikachu, who have just discovered that they've caught a terrible case of herpies!*
Jessie: *Walking away from the mansion with James, pulling a still-drunk Meowth along by his tail* Well that was certainly the most awful party I've ever been too.
James: I think I'll be seeing a psychiatrist for the rest of my life. *shudders as mental images from the previous night pop into his head*
Meowth: *singing* A hundred and eight bottles of beer on the wall, two hundred and eighty-seven bottles of beer! You take one down and pass it around, seven bottles of beer on the wall!
James: Well, what are we going to do now?
Jessie: I don't know. Hey, want a swig of punch? *pulls out a canister* I swiped some from the party!
James: Sure! I don't know what was in that stuff, but it sure tasted good!
And thus the cycle began anew.
THE END!