iPercy/i, I heard a voice call out to me. iPercy, you need to wake up/i.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and found myself on the floor of my cabin. The breeze from the nearby lake wafted through the old hut, carrying with it the smell of strawberries. I fucking hated strawberries. A bong lay out beside me, the water spilled out. I usually smoked joints, but I figured I'd make the switch seeing as how my dad's apparently the god of water or whatever. I looked around the cabin. Of the like twenty people that were here last night, only one girl remained, slumped over a chair with a bunch of Greek shit written on her face in Sharpie. I think she was from the Aphrodite cabin. She looked pretty fucked up; I was about to see if she was alright before I heard clopping.

The torso of the man who was once my Latin teacher stood over me like Caesar's ghost, thick white eyebrows furrowed. I groaned. Apparently, he was a centaur or something. I had been avoiding his four-legged ass since the day I accidently killed my math teacher with some stupid-ass pen sword.

"Percy," he called, soft but gruff. "It's time you started your training."

"It's time you fucked off, BoJack," I grunted, rolling over. The horse dude clopped indignantly.

"It's Chiron," he corrected me.

"I don't care what your name is," I replied. Chiron sighed.

"Your mother is in danger," he reminded me. "The world is in danger. Only you can put a stop to this."

I shot up, instantly regretting it. The hangover was pretty bad.

"Oh shit, my mother is in danger?" I asked, incredulously. "That changes everything! Oh, my poor mother... How I'll miss the fact that she fucked an Ancient Greek god, married an alcoholic asshole, and then lied to me about everything for my entire life!"

Chiron stared down at the ground, like he didn't even want to look at me.

"There are forces at work here that you have no concept of," he said. "You'll understand it in time, but it's up to you to take the first step. I can show you. Here, let's get you something for your headache."

He held out his hand.

"The only headache I have is you," I spat, my headache flaring. "Do me a huge favor and trot away, you gelded prick."

Chiron's hand balled into a tight fist, jerking to the side of his human body.

"Of all my years of training demigods," he said, his voice hollow and calm, "You, Percy, are the biggest disappointment I have ever known."

"Yeah, well, forgive me if I don't take insults from a talking horse-man too personally."

When I could see again, the girl was gone. It was midday, just in time for lunch. I staggered out of my cabin, trying not to vomit, and found my way to the mess hall, where Luke waited for me. The meal today was some kind of smoked brisket, which I was about to enjoy before I remembered that bullshit rule they had about sacrifices. I grudgingly followed everyone to the center of the pavilion, and sat down with half of my happiness in charred ruins.

"Yo, this sacrifice sucks," I muttered, staring down dejectedly at my plate.

"Yo, this i camp /i sucks," Luke replied. "I'm bored out of my mind, like, 85% of the time here."

"What's the other 15%?" I asked. Luke smiled.

"The three W's," he told me. "The wine, the weed, and the women. Well, not the last one for me so much, since Thalia was reborn or whatever."

I was about to reply when someone I hadn't seen in days passed by. I scrambled out of my seat and tried to follow her.

"Hey, Annabeth!" I called. "How about we get some nectar and then you show me your golden fleece?"

"Leave me alone, Percy," Annabeth said, looking away.

"Hey, what's your problem?" I asked, taken aback.

Annabeth stopped walking, but she still wouldn't look at me.

"I thought we were friends," she said flatly.

"I did, too," I told her. "And then you turned into some kind of bitch."

"Because the second you could walk again you turned into a huge jerk!" Annabeth yelled. "You said all these awful things to me and to everyone, and I don't want to be around someone who's like that."

"Fine, whatever, be that way... I don't care. I don't care about any of this."

I started walking away, listening to Annabeth fume.

"I just want to be friends with you," she muttered.

"People in Hades want ice water," I called back to her.