A/N: Well, I typed this up after watching Naruto Shippuden's movie 6: Road to Ninja. To be really honest, I cried. A lot. And when I thought I'd listen to the PianoGuys so I could cheer up and study for my presentation that was due the next day, I found an equally sad song that made me more depressed. Yeah. So, I typed this up with tears in my eyes. There are SPOILERS for the movie, so if you don't like those, don't read! It'll make more sense if you've seen the movie. I don't know if it's good at all. So, sorry if you don't like it.
For those who are curious, this is the link to that awesome music. It's from The Piano Guys - Arwen's vigil : www .youtube watch?v=xhYfWB1fMIE . com Just take away the spaces!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto does.
A Cruel Illusion
When I hear your voice again, my heart skips a beat. I turn around only to be met with a shocking sight. Your eyes, your faces, your smiles. They're the same. Mom, dad? Is that really you? Are you really alive? No that can't be. You're dead after all. You died saving me. But what if…
At that moment I felt something dangerous begin in my heart. Something that had been rampaging through my body when I was just a child. Wishing, praying that one day… I'd wake up and have a family.
Hope.
And I crush it right away. Crush it and throw it in some little box in the back of my mind where it belongs. You are fake. You aren't real. You are a part of this twisted world that Madara threw us in.
There was a chance to go back home. Home like I knew it. A world without you. If I could go back, I'd never have to look at that little box again.
I ask Tsunade-baa-chan, only to be rejected. But then you ask her and she accepts. Why did you ask her for me? I don't understand you. I don't want to understand you.
You drag me back home with you. I look up at your house and tell you I have something to do, making up an excuse. I walk away with Sakura. I look back as you enter your home. A place where I don't belong.
I tell Sakura that we have to find the scroll and go back already. This world isn't home. It's all messed up. No one is themselves. They're not the people I've come to love and trust over the years. I don't want to be here longer than I have to. I hate it here. Even though you're fakes, you remind me so much of them. It's not fair that I have to look at your faces and see theirs instead.
I walk around with Sakura and she's heading home, so reluctantly I go back to that place. The place you'll be waiting for me.
When I get to the house – house, because it isn't my home – I lock myself up in Menma's room and barricade the door without a word to you. Because, even though you're fakes, you remind me so much of them. It's not fair that I have to look at your faces and see theirs instead.
When I tell her that I'm not hungry, she forces me out, her hair seemingly alive. "I was called the Red Hot-headed Habanero because of my hot-headedness and my red hair that blew all around me when I was beating those bullies!" I shake away her memory. She's not her. She'll never be her.
And even though I'm eating with you, I'm not happy at all. I barely taste the food. I try to ignore you and eat like I always did. Alone. When I'm finally done and about to leave, you ask for my clothes. I'm not Menma. I can wash my own clothes, thank you very much. I've been doing it for years after all. But, of course, you're totally obvious about that. I'm angry and I don't want to talk to a fake like you, so I get up, still not looking at you.
I glance to my right and a blue album grabs my attention. Menma's photo album. Curious, I step forward and take it out of the shelf. I open it and see myself. No, not myself, I quickly correct. Menma. It couldn't be me because I don't remember this happening.
Menma and his parents. Mother hugging her son, a family photo. You changing his diaper, his first steps. My eyes go back to the picture of her hugging him. She looks happy. And somehow my heart clenched painfully at the picture. This could have been me…
I turn the page and see Menma celebrating his birthday, his first day of academy, Menma being pushed by her on that swing.
Long and lonely birthdays. On that swing all alone. Always alone. The Sandaime escorting him to the academy.
If you hadn't died, this is the life I would have led…
You startle me. When you ask why I was looking, I give you a gruff answer. Menma didn't need to look at these photos. His parents were here with him after all.
I ask you for the reason you allowed me to go with you on that mission.
"Because I know my son wouldn't ask something without a reason."
For a second my mind flashed back to that whiteness. "You're my son." No! You're not him! You're not the same!
I grunt an answer and leave for my room. Sleep didn't come easy that night…
I stand away from everyone. Those pictures were bothering me all night. I don't feel like talking to you today either. She approaches me, teasing me and telling me to look good in front of Sakura-chan. 'The hero's daughter.' And still it all feels so wrong. My anger spikes when she touches me and I snatch my arm back.
"Don't touch me." I snap. Don't touch me because your touch is warm and it feels too right. I don't want to feel like that, because I know you're not her.
I go stand against the gate where Sakura tries to tell me not to treat you like that, but what does she know?
"It's okay. I'm not Menma." And I'll never be.
When we finally find the place, I'm more eager than ever to get that scroll back. So when I hear that you're going to rest, I turn right around and follow the path down. Once there I find a patch covered in trees and I wonder if Ero-sennin hid the scroll there.
I run towards the trees, eager to find the scroll and just go back already. Suddenly there's an explosion, sending me skidding backwards. When the clouds clear I see the Boss frog, Gamahiro and Gamaken. Finally! They would definitely help us get the scroll. But like everything else in this cursed world, they weren't helping either.
I'm kind of impressed when I see those frogs raining down on us. Those feelings quickly disappear though, as annoyance takes it place.
I try to talk to the frog boss, but he isn't listening. So, why not show him sage-mode? It would at least stop him enough to listen to me. I sit still on top of him, collecting the energy I needed – Until I got interrupted and was thrown of his back, of course.
"Damn! I was almost done!" I pass by in front of his face, and everything kind of goes in slow motion as the frog boss opens his mouth and spits an acid ball towards me. I was about to try get in sage mode again, when she shouted that name.
"Menma!" And I'm pulled away from that purple ball. I look down, about to yell at her, when I see her face contort in pain and she screams.
I watch as she falls, my limbs frozen as I see you catch her before she hits the ground.
I land nimbly and stare at her. Why did she do that? "Why—why did you…I…" I could have saved myself. I've been saving myself for years after all.
When you leave, I look after her. She's in pain, I take a look at her foot and see a small burn. Guilt consumes me. This is all my fault.
When you come back with the scroll in your hand, you take me apart as Sakura heals Kushina's legs. I feel guilty and I channel that guilt into anger. Don't look at me like that. "I could have avoided it if I was alone! Why did she have to jump in front of me?" I just don't understand.
You slap me. Surprisingly, the prickling on my cheek is less painful than the pain in my heart.
"We couldn't leave you alone. Our bodies react to our concern, because we want to keep you safe. That's what being a parent is." I can't look you in the eye anymore. I feel ashamed. I feel like I said too much. I almost feel like apologizing, instead I ask you why you're telling me this. Why are talking to me as if I'm your child?
I squeeze my eyes shut and keep reminding myself that this is a world that Madara made.
Alone. Alone. Alone. I'm all alone. This isn't reality, this isn't real. My name isn't Menma.
I almost flinch at your hand on my shoulder. Please don't touch me like that, it reminds me of him.
You're fake, you don't exist. I'm all alone. Why is this world so messed up? I want to go back to my own world. Where there is no Mom and no Dad. Where there are no friendly touches, no lovely hugs, no warm meals and albums full of family photos. No reminders of a life that could have been mine. Where there is no hope. No warmth. Where I'm all alone.
When I see her angry eyes, I close my eyes for another slap that never comes. She hugs me instead.
"I'm so glad you're not hurt."
No…stop. Please don't hug me. I'll lose my mind, the barrier that I've been trying to build will break. You're fake, you're not real. You're not her.
Not… not her… The voice in my head that's been warning me, the me that's been keeping up this fragile wall is pushed back as the lonely child inside finally breaks out. And I relish in this hug.
You're so warm, it feels good to be hugged. It feels so good to hug you back. Thank you for worrying about me. I'm so glad you care.
We go back. The fight is delayed. Tsunade-baa-chan wants to wait for the right time. This time I don't mind. Don't hope too much. This won't last forever. That voice was back in my head. I tune it out and I leave Sakura with a quick wave.
It's her birthday today.
I speed up, little by little and break into a run. A small smile makes its way to my face. Taking a deep breath I open the door. And I see you two. It's not empty. You were waiting here for me.
"You're back early." The softness in your voice is like a caress, soothing in its touch. She smiles at me.
"Dad, mom." Calling you that, suddenly makes it feel so real. The reality of my words are crushing.
"Welcome home, Menma."
My eyes blur with tears and I quickly blink away. You're here to welcome me home. A smile spreads on my face, as I step inside.
"I'm home." And this time, you're really here. You didn't disappear into the night as I opened the door. You're real.
"Naruto," A big hand ruffling my hair. "Take care of the ninja world. I believe in you." Blue eyes just like mine, sorrowful, scared to get too close, too attached.
Another identical pair of blue eyes, happier this time and the same patch of unruly blond hair. A house. A wife.
"Naruto," Beautiful long red hair. "I love you." Lovely grey blue eyes, so full of love.
A son. A family.
But I'm not Menma.
Does it really matter? Can't I stay? Just for this once, I want to feel happy. I want to be hugged, I want to be loved.
Ah. I've lost. The barrier shatters. I don't care if I'm not Menma. I'll be Menma for you. Please be my mom and dad for me.
It's so warm here with you, the smile on my face is real. I love it here. I love it here with you. I love you.
I don't want to leave. Just for this once, please let me stay. Let me feel your love again.
It's getting more and more difficult to meet up with Sakura. I was reluctant to leave.
"Naruto, you're happy if you live in this world, aren't you?"
I don't deny it.
Sakura wants to leave. I want to stay. She says she can't forget and in the end, we go our separate ways.
I want to stay. I want to stay.
This is all I've ever wanted. This is all I've ever wished for.
Dad is here, mom is here. I've always wanted to have such a life. This was my dream. I know this place isn't real… but—
But I'm not Menma. That voice whispers again.
An explosion in the middle of the village. I skid to a stop and turn around. It's near the Hokage's office and dread builds up in me.
The masked man isn't Madara. But he knows him. We're getting closer to getting home. And somehow I wasn't really happy to hear that.
He takes Sakura.
He makes something like the rasengan and drops it. Then there was white and then everything went black.
When I open my eyes, I see your worried faces and mom hugs me. I get up and watch the destruction. It was awful. I hope Sakura-chan's oka— I see her bag lying under some rubble.
"Where's Sakura-chan?"
I get up and look around, but Sakura isn't here. He took her. I have to go get her back.
"We still have the scroll. We should wait and prepare for the right moment." I'm shocked when I hear you say that.
"What are you saying? Now's not the time to wait and relax, we have to go save her right now!"
"That's impossible, Menma! In our condition we can't risk our lives to save Sakura." My eyes widen at this, something cold twists in my stomach.
"How can you…"
"Before being a ninja, we are people." That hope that had been sneaking out of that box, that had been filling me up again, shattered into a million pieces, scarring my heart. You're not him.
"But!—"
"What if you died! We're worried about you, Menma."
You're not my real parents.
That flash of white again. "I trust you. Take care of Konoha, Naruto."
Sakura's voice. "The true hero and the others who died for the sake of protecting the world and our village! I can't forget them!"
Dad fighting Madara. The Kyuubi being extracted from mom. Mom wanting to take the Kyuubi with her. Dad trusting me and deciding to seal the kyuubi inside of me.
"Why do you want Naruto—And not only our son, why do you have to sacrifice yourself?!"
"Because we're a family of shinobi."
Mom and dad saving me.
Ah. I can't forget them after all. I can't stay here with you.
"I have to go." I pick up one of your Kunai.
"There's no need to go! It's not like you're a hero." I take a deep breath and tell you what I should have told you from the beginning.
"Actually, I'm not a person from this world. My name isn't Menma either. I'm sorry I lied."
"What are you talking about, suddenly?"
"My real father was the 4th Hokage and my mother was the kyuubi's jinchuuriki. Both died in the real world, to save us all. To save the village and to save me… they died." I look up at you and smile.
Yes. I'm alive, because my parents protected me. And I'm proud to be their son.
"Menma please, don't go."
"I told you: I've got to go." I run toward Sakura's bag and take out the white coat. Dad's coat. "For I am the son of two heroes!"
I search for Sakura's chakra with Sage mode. When I find her, Madara is there too.
"Once I beat you, we'll go back to the real world!"
"I'm sorry but I'm not your opponent."
Then the other man in the mask appears. The one that destroyed a part of Konoha with just one attack.
"Give me the scroll."
I refuse.
We're fighting when a blinding pain throbs inside. I claw at the seal on my stomach as I try to dodge his attack. What the hell is this feeling.
The Akatsuki. On our side.
Sakura is safe.
Inside the temple we fight. Another throb of pain. Kyuubi.
A face identical to mine. Black hair, red, red eyes.
Another Kyuubi.
Fighting with the fox on my side. And we won. Until Madara suddenly merges with that guy and his right eye becomes a Sharingan.
Kyuubi's warning. A red moon.
"The prophesy!"
The Sharingan in a face matching mine.
"Naruto, look out!" Kyuubi's booming voice.
"Forget it. The nine tails is mine."
And then… complete whiteness.
"What… what did I do just now? Furthermore, who am I? Why… do I exist?"
The scroll. A whirl of memories. Rasengan. Ero-sennin. Dad.
A Konoha that once used to be so cruel and unforgiving. My real home. A home without you.
Hitting Madara with a rasengan. You helping me.
"Menma."
Ah, there he is. Your real son. Not me. Please be happy. You deserve to be.
Thank you for saving me. Thank you for that meal, for that warm touch. Thank you for worrying. Thank you for caring.
Goodbye.
Finally disappearing in that soft red glow. Away from you. Away from this illusion.
And then we're back home. I look up and find your face on the Hokage mountain. You're proudly watching over the village.
A hero's son. That's who I am. I am Uzumaki Naruto and even though I can't meet you anymore, I can't see you anymore. I'll always love you.
A ninja is someone who endures hardships.
I'll take care of this village Mom and Dad.
I go inside. I know you won't be there, but it'll be okay. I'll be—
The lights are on. I see a cake. I see colorful decorations in my normally dull apartment. I see an embarrassed smile on Iruka-sensei's face.
"Welcome home." The words stab me right in the heart. My throat clenches painfully and my vision suddenly blurs. Tears overflow. Ah… I was wrong. I wasn't alone at all.
"What's wrong?" A worried voice. Not alone. I'm not alone.
"It's nothing." I quickly wipe away those tears and smile.
"I'm home."
End.
A/N: Please let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated!