An Account of Madness Uncontained

by Shadow Oblivion

Pitch was not anyone's pawn to be played around with. If those mortals wanted their precious movie to have the honor of his presence, they were going to do things the Nightmare King's way, or at the very least let him improvise on occasion.

So this is a parody from Pitch's point of view (1st), of the making of Rise of the Guardians, as if the movie had been made with the characters doing their own acting in front of a camera crew. There will be a lot of silliness (of the IC kind, hopefully, despite the content), and some mild bashing of pop culture at the end for comedic purposes.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Rise of the Guardians or anything else mentioned that I obviously have no rights over.

X-x-x

I was in a much better mood than I normally found myself to be. It wasn't cheerfulness though; no, I left that particular trait to a rather annoying winter spirit. I hadn't felt this good for some time, especially since things hadn't been going my way for years. I was still at the bottom of the food chain, so to speak, and I really had no desire as of late to tangle with any of the Guardians. This allowed me to focus on what I did best; spread fear amongst the children of the world, and revel in the sensation of power that their fear brought to me. This sense of power was likely the source of the feelings I now had, and it was not the dark and morose frame of mind I had been in for the past several years. It was more along the lines of smug satisfaction that the Guardians weren't impeding me as often as they had in the past.

I cast an eye over a few nearby Nightmares, and a pleased smile briefly crossed my lips. It was good to have some assistance in scaring the children, and these creatures made of nightmare sand were good in that purpose. After all, there were only so many places I could be in one night, and some nights it took longer to bring out a little fright in any one individual child. As such, I was mollified by the fact that any fear my Nightmares caused in my absence, I would be able to sense from miles upon miles away. It was quite the breakthrough, and I was satisfied with the results thus far. As the years passed, I would be able to see just how effective my Nightmares would be.

I ran a hand along the neck of the nearest creature. Although the Nightmares were proving to be quite useful, the fear from a child was much more satisfying when I myself was doing the frightening. It was all the sweeter to see the horror in a child's eyes that the Boogeyman, the Nightmare King, was not just a figment of their imagination. It could be quite entertaining for me to see all of the ways a child would react upon seeing me.

Why, just the other night, I had been confronted by a priest, who had tried and failed to cast me out of a child's room, convinced that I was a demon of darkness. So lost in thought of that particularly wonderful experience, I almost didn't notice the light gust of cold wind, followed by whispers in the dark. Reluctantly I left off thinking about that pleasant memory, and stretched out my senses to see who my unwelcome house-guests were. I scowled in displeasure as I realized that one of them was Jack Frost. That irritating winter spirit just didn't know when enough was enough. This was the fifth time this week that he'd come by unannounced. I don't ever recall telling Jack that I wanted him to pay me any visits. I tapped my fingers together in thought, before dropping them to my sides. I moved soundlessly into a darkened area of my lair to observe Jack Frost and a couple of others come into view.

I furrowed my brow at the sight of the two men and one woman that were with Jack. I frowned darkly, unseen, as Jack shot a few blasts of frost and ice into the air, calling out to me.

"Hey, Pitch! You lurking around down here? These people have a proposition for us!"

That caught my attention for the fact that adults would know of me, be able to see me, and actually want to speak to me. Frost's 'us' comment aroused my interest as well as my suspicion. I didn't detect any Guardian other than the one already here, so I decided that I would humor the mortals Jack had brought with him. They weren't very fearful, and that was fascinating to me. I waved the Nightmares back, and melded into the darkness around me, stepping lightly out of a shadow nearest to Jack. I indulged in the small amount of fear that I had caused from my sudden appearance.

"Has the concept of letting me know ahead of time that you're stopping by ever crossed that mind of yours, Frost?" I drawled, straightening up and clasping my hands behind my back. I had allowed myself a brief glance in the mortals' direction, before my attention focused solely upon Frost, curious as to what he would answer me with.

Jack leaned against his staff and shook his head, "I did do that once, remember? It was a few years ago. But when I showed up, you had the Nightmares chase me around, before you made me fall through a shadow and into a desert."

My lips quirked at the memory. It had been quite a sight, and the fear from Jack and the Guardians had been exquisite. I preferred to ignore the retaliation that had occurred after that particular incident. It had been rather painful for me after all. "Well, that should let you know that I don't want your company. I don't know what I have to do to get that through that head of yours when you continue to come into my home after repeatedly being told not to." I turned to the mortals, dismissing Jack's spluttered response as I observed them, before I spoke smoothly, "I have to say, I'm rather impressed that adults can even see me. Are you here to help Frost in his continued endeavor to harass me in my own home?" The uncomfortable silence that followed made me grin sharply. Oh, this was going to be amusing. I watched Jack and the mortals whisper amongst themselves, before Jack spoke.

"These guys are from a movie making studio, and they wanted to make one about the Guardians…with you in it."

My lips thinned into a frown, "With me as the enemy to be defeated, I suppose." I considered the idea for a moment, before continuing, "If it is a decent enough script that leads to my untimely demise or fall from power, I suppose I would consider doing it." I could do with a financial boost anyway. It took a lot of work to get modern technology into my home, and sometimes I needed expensive equipment to help scare the children as of late. Some of them had begun to develop nerves of steel, and that made them all the more difficult to terrorize into absolute fright.

"It's a movie that will be mainly for children." Jack added, sounding as if this might change my mind.

Well, it had the Guardians in it, so I had assumed that would be the case. I gave Jack a jaded look, as something had just occurred to me, "You and the others have already agreed to this, haven't you?"

Jack ran a hand through his hair with a sheepish smile, "Well yeah, it sounded like a good idea."

"So I'm going to do it whether I want to or not?" The silence that greeted me made me sigh heavily, "Do I at least get to read what I will be subjected to before I agree to it? Contrary to what you see, I am a busy man."

One of the men turned to the woman, and I soon spotted a stack of papers in her hands. I started to smile again when I sensed a little fear from the woman at the thought of going anywhere near me. Unfortunately, Jack squashed any further fear, as he picked the script out of the woman's hands and approached me, holding it out. I took the papers from the Guardian, and the thought of attempting to scare Jack vanished as I read through the script. When I looked up, I found all of them watching me with hopeful expressions. I was very tempted to say no, just to see the disappointment, but if they needed a villain in the movie, who better than I, the Nightmare King? I gave a nod, "It doesn't sound too bad, despite the fact that it appears to centered around Jack." I transferred my gaze directly to Jack, "I have to say I'm rather impressed that you even got the man in the moon to agree to this." Seeing the expectant expressions, I let out a little hiss of exasperation, "Don't worry, I will participate in making this… movie. Now begone from here, before I change my mind."

It was only after Jack and the mortals had left that I began to wonder just what I had gotten myself into. The feeling of dread began to grow as soon as the first day of shooting for the movie began. It was on that day that I regretted agreeing to do this movie in the first place.

There was no escape, and I hated myself for the financial reasons that I couldn't walk away from doing this movie, and the fact that the Guardians knew it. Sneaky, conniving do-gooders.

X-x-x

I started to lose track of the days as I began acting for my parts in the movie. It progressively got worse, as I soon began to glimpse just how much I was going to have to tone down the scare factor. That should have been my first clue that things were going to start to go downhill. About the only thing that had gone well so far was covering North's globe with my nightmare sand. Then the bit where I formed it into an imitation of myself and projected a laugh from it. I was entertained with the genuine fear from the elves. The foolish little creatures acted surprisingly well considering they had no idea that they were being filmed for a movie.

When it came for me to do my first real appearance in the movie, I was about to find out just how unfrightening I was going to be forced to be.

To say that I was unhappy when I came to this realization would be an understatement.

X-x-x

Upon hearing 'action' being called by the director, I made my move. Turning dreams into nightmares was a specialty of mine now, and it gave me immense satisfaction to be able to do this for the world to see. I emerged from the shadows underneath the bed, and inched my way out from beneath it. I sat next to the bed after I was out from under it, and I propped my arms up on the bed's edge. I let my head rest on my arms as I tilted my head to watch the unicorn made of dream sand prance over the girls' head. Ignoring the chosen decor of horses with horns and the hideously pink color that surrounded me, I began to speak in a velvety tone, "Oh, I thought I heard the clippity clomp of a unicorn. What an adorable dream." I rose from a seated position with an easy grace, and went to loom over the child, clasping my hands together, "And look at her…"

"Cut!"

I spared the briefest of glances at the director, "What? I remember the lines, you know."

The director shook his head, "It isn't that. Could you not come out from directly beneath the bed? That seems a little bit too… creepy for a children's movie."

I nodded acknowledgement as I moodily phased through a nearby shadow, my voice echoing as I went, "Very well." I relented easily enough, even if I didn't see what was wrong with the way I had initially done the scene. After all, most children worry that something might reach out from beneath the bed to seize them and drag them under. However, I reminded myself that I needed the money, so I came to the conclusion that not being too scary or creepy in this scene wasn't going to be the end of the world.

It was just the beginning of the long list of things that I apparently couldn't do in the movie because it was too 'scary.'

X-x-x

The scene where I confronted the Guardians at the Tooth Palace went over smoothly for the most part, and I delighted in the fact of how upset and fearful Toothiana was about her missing fairies and the teeth. She really had nothing to worry about, as I had no intentions of harming the noisy little feather dusters. During filming, of course. I wouldn't promise what would happen after filming was finished. I'd let that little fear stay in the back of Tooth's mind. I was the tiniest bit dissatisfied with the scene, when I only got to insult Frost once. I could have said more things to further upset him, but to no avail. The director and the screenwriters didn't want too many insults to fly in a children's movie. Some sort of nonsense about not distressing the children who were going to be watching this movie.

It bothered me that the mortals didn't want to scare their children. A little dose of fear now and then was a good thing, and it could be useful for most children once they grew up. In any case, I held my tongue and went along with what the director and his stooges said, for the time being.

I would soon find my patience put to the test the longer the shooting for the movie lasted.

X-x-x

"You want me to do what?" I was in my underground lair, near the dilapidated globe of the world, and I was currently regarding the director with a disbelieving look. "I already did that silly line about the fairies and you expect me to do that as well?" I shook my head in disgust, "You want me to growl at one of my Nightmares? That would not startle them at all."

There was a helpless gesture from the director, "Anything else would be too frightening."

Again I held my tongue, and I turned to the Nightmare that had just 'informed' me that the Guardians were collecting teeth. Trying to hide my frustration at the silliness of it all, I bared my teeth at the Nightmare, "Grr." I was taken aback that this actually intimidated the creature, as it immediately disintegrated back into nightmare sand. I ran a hand along the black sand. "That is unexpected," I mused, and out of spite, I formed a tiny image of the Sandman. I spoke my lines and crushed the black sand picture of Sandy with a rough hand gesture.

Imagine my surprise when the director decided to actually keep that in the movie. Mortals and their definition of scary appeared to have a range of different meanings. No matter. I was halfway done, and I would soon be alone in my home once more.

X-x-x

Standing on a platform of nightmare sand, I looked to be in the process of carrying out the most horrid and evil death in the world as I aimed a sand arrow at the Sandman's back. I grinned wickedly as I prepared to loose the arrow. The telltale echoing voice of the director via a megaphone sounded from below, which dissipated my good mood as quickly as it had come.

"Cut!"

I let the sand arrow vanish and peeked over the side of the nightmare sand, "What now?" I called down in a highly exasperated manner. Really, I couldn't see anything wrong with my acting. It had been exactly what the mortals were asking me to do.

"Could you tone down your expression? I don't want children to scream from the sight of such a twisted smile. It was a bit too menacing."

I sighed heavily once again, but I didn't bother to protest. It just wasn't worth it, and at least I would get to hit Sandy in the back with an arrow, so it was a win-win situation for me. I settled for an expression I couldn't quite place, but since it satisfied those filming the movie, I didn't much care what it turned out looking like.

I was already in the process of plotting some kind of revenge for later, once the movie was finished.

X-x-x

Toying with Jack Frost's mind in my lair was likely one of the best things I'd ever done. I was going to keep this in mind for later. I was running out of ways to keep Frost out of my home, so this little tidbit of information would prove useful. The scene went splendidly, but the initial conversation between me and Jack appeared to be lacking something, which the screenwriters said they would work on. I had also been told, quite plainly, that I couldn't drop Jack through the shadows, no matter how much I insisted upon it. This vexed me, especially once I spotted the look of relief on Frost's face. I could only hope the reworked scene would include something that would allow me to scare Jack. It would only be fair, if I were going to be defeated by the end of the movie anyway.

"Hey, what are you thinking about over there?" Jack questioned, his posture and mischievous expression indicating that he was considering causing some trouble.

I regarded Jack silently for a moment, before I responded dryly, "Oh, the usual. I always like to try and think of ways to cause you mental anguish. Or, you know, I'd like to come up with some clever way to temporarily incapacitate you in order to make you cease your near constant campaign of trying to get on my nerves. Perhaps I'll finally find a way to remedy your misconception of believing that I want your company." The snowball thrown at me struck me square in the face and subsequently ended the filming for the day.

I was far too preoccupied with trying to crush Jack to a pulp, and being driven mad by the infuriating laugh of a far too happy winter spirit.

X-x-x

"Cut!"

I had been about to snap Jack's staff over one of my knees, and hesitated at the now familiar word. This was the seventh take, and yet again we had to stop shooting because Frost was having another mini panic attack. I tossed the staff back to Jack, as Baby Tooth came up out of the crevice, chirping and trying to straighten her ruffled feathers. I swiped her out of the air, before I rounded on Jack, "You know you can repair your staff with hardly any effort, Frost. It's just a conduit for you to channel your power through."

"That doesn't mean I won't feel pain if it breaks." Jack protested, holding the staff close to his chest.

"You can't tell me that you've never broken it before in the over 300 years you have had it in your possession." I saw the expression from the pale teen, and I bared my teeth in vicious smile, "Oh, this will be so much more fun than I had initially thought. I'll get to be treated to some genuine fear. How wonderful…for me, of course."

Jack clutched his staff closer, taking a slight step back, "Could you at least try not to look so gleeful at the idea of breaking my staff and causing me pain?"

"Why ever would I do that? I'm just being honest with my emotions." I deadpanned, smirking at Jack's offended expression.

The film crew interrupted Jack's response, "Can we roll? Just because the cold doesn't bother the two of you doesn't mean that everyone can withstand it."

I slid an immensely unconcerned eye over the shivering, bundled up mortals, before turning to Jack, "Yes, Jack, not everyone can function in the cold as well as you can. We wouldn't want them to freeze to death, now would we?" As soon as I heard action being called, I darted forward with lightning speed. I utterly disregarded the script, as I assumed that the mortals could cut and stick the recorded scenes together seamlessly.

I let go of Baby Tooth, and all but wrenched the staff out of Jack's grip. I snapped the staff without preamble over my knee, smiling maliciously at the reaction I would receive. The fear and pained gasp from Frost was quite satisfying, and before anyone could say anything, I swung my hand, striking Jack with the nightmare sand. The momentum of the strike sent him hurtling backward into ice, and I watched as he disappeared down the crevice. I made my way over to the edge in the silence, and peered down at Jack. My, that was quite a long drop. I could just leave him down there without his staff, but as we were filming for a children's movie, Jack had to be given the chance to escape. With a little laugh, I tossed the broken staff down into the crevice where my opponent was discombobulated, a tiny Baby Tooth trying to snap him out of it.

Filming was stopped for three days after that, and it wasn't due to Jack Frost having a mental breakdown. It was how long it took me to defrost and warm my legs up after Jack had cornered me to retaliate for breaking his staff.

I would deal with him properly later for daring to do such a thing to me.

X-x-x

I didn't have many complaints when it came to appearing on North's globe in person, because I was having quite a lot of fun. The confusion I caused with the silly dance I had done had been worth toning down being scary.

X-x-x

The final battle for the movie went well, as I had fully been expecting my power ride to come to an end. I had actually hoped to impale Jack with my scythe when I had been backed into a corner by the Guardians, but Sandy's timing was ridiculously precise. The look in Jack's eyes before I was dragged off by the golden whip was priceless. I wondered if he actually believed that by raising his arm he would have been able to ward off my scythe.

I also knew that there would be a sort of celebration after my 'defeat', but I didn't like what I saw for two reasons. One, there wasn't any fear at all in the immediate area, and two; I hadn't expected to have a child run right through me. I had suspected something like that might happen, but I still wasn't fully prepared for it. I suppose that made it easier for me to do my next scene, as I was running from the pain of not being seen, and again I reminded myself that I was enduring this torment for the money.

X-x-x

The final days of shooting for the movie finally came along, and unfortunately for everyone present, my patience with all of them had come to an end. It was an undignified way to go, especially since nothing that I had done in the movie really warranted such an end. The fact that my Nightmares seemed to be looking forward to the scene was a bit disheartening, but the final straw was the failed attempt by Frost to smother his laughter.

Nightmare sand trailed along one of my hands, to distract those looking at me. This wasn't part of the script. I offered a thin smile, "I'll see you later. I'm taking a break." Then, with no warning at all, I sent Jack Frost, the director, the cameraman, and the screenwriters through the shadows. I tilted my head, and then sent them out of the shadows to be soaked in the splash zone of a dolphin show, thousands of miles away. With a smirk at the remaining Guardians, I was all but daring them to do something about what I'd just done. When they did nothing but stare, I stalked through the nearest shadow.

I was overdue for some brooding, and now I had some time to myself. I doubted that Jack and the others would return anytime soon, and this would allow me to gather my thoughts to finish the movie.

I had to keep reminding myself that I was doing this for the publicity, and for the money. It always came back to that.

X-x-x

I was settled in a chair in my underground home with my third glass of wine by the time Jack and his merry band of mortals intruded upon me. I passed a disinterested gaze over the lot of them, and took a sip of wine, "Oh, you're back later than I had anticipated. Did being soaked in water weigh you down, Frost?" One of the screenwriters stepped forward before Jack could retort, and I was amused to see the screenwriter trembling ever so slightly.

"We need to finish shooting, so we've made some adjustments to the script." The screenwriter held up a thin stack of papers hesitantly.

My eyes looked at the papers briefly, before I ran my gaze over the small group before me, and declared with a slightly condescending air, "Oh really? And this would interest me why? I already said that I didn't want to tone down the scare factor much, since that would make me more comical than frightening." I waved a hand and sent forth tendrils of shadows to do the task of taking the script from the screenwriters' hands. I reached out a hand to receive the papers from the returning shadows, and began to scan through the newly revised scenes that involved me. I smirked every now and then when I came across the scenes that involved Jack Frost. The fact that I was going to be able to drop that cocky brat through some shadows and play some more mind games with made me oddly happy. This was something manageable now. Though it wasn't as dark as I would have liked, I raised my eyes from the script and nodded curtly, "I suppose there is some hope for it now."

Jack ran a hand through his white hair, shaking free frozen bits of water that were stuck there, muttering resentfully, "Why do I get the feeling that you're only agreeing now because you get to torment me some more?"

I offered a razor thin smile in response, almost pitying the winter spirit for stating the obvious. I saw Jack's icy blue gaze narrow, and I merely relaxed further against my chair, as I waited for the response I was about to receive. It didn't take Jack at all long to give me an outraged look.

"That is why you agreed, isn't it? What is it with you and your vendetta against me? Why do you feel the need to try and make me miserable all the time?"

I thought myself to be the picture of innocence as I sipped my wine again, loving the fact that I got to rile Frost up a bit, "Oh, I don't know. Perhaps it is because you are so much fun to tease. Your reactions are quite entertaining." I raised my head to scrutinize the pale teen's soaked and frozen appearance. I smiled a little more widely than I really needed to, "By the way, Frost, that is a good look for you. Maybe I'll make it a habit to send you to be immersed in water, before you have the chance to freeze it. I rather doubt you could drown as you are now."

I expected retaliation to be swift, but I was unprepared for just how fast that response would be. A gust of icy wind knocked me out of my chair, and I had to make an undignified stumble into the nearest shadow. The positive result of my and Jack's sudden fight was that the director had to call it a day. As I avoided being frozen by an enraged Jack, I decided that I could have been a little more sensitive to the subject of Jack's past. The idea was quickly dismissed, as I decided I needed some kind of leverage against my opponent. What I hadn't expected was the painful sensation of being knocked unconscious in my own home.

I did feel slightly better that, as I was losing consciousness, I sensed a little fear from the director that the movie would never be finished at this rate. I felt some nasty little bit of satisfaction from that, and felt a bit better when I later learned that I had knocked Jack senseless as well.

X-x-x

Contrary to the director's worries, the movie was completed and released. It was well received by those who doled out the cash to see it. I smirked briefly at the 3D expenses, and how people would shell out the extra cash for only little differences here and there in the movie. I, however, upon reading some reviews and seeing the movie for myself, was less than satisfied.

As the Nightmare King, the embodiment of fear, I was displeased for obvious reasons that some of the people thought that I had been a little too scary in the movie, even though they could tell it was toned down. I wasn't sure if they were trying to insult me, but I kept it at the back of my mind and took note of who to go give nightmares to. I didn't care that many of them were adults. I took offense to being called scary when it was obvious that I had to hold back. After reading through a few more reviews, I threw my hands up in frustration. I just couldn't understand the way the mortal mind worked at times.

If that director and his lackeys approached me for a sequel, I wasn't sure if I would say yes. My thoughts were beginning to take on a dark tone. I was about to begin to brood moodily when those thoughts were interrupted by Jack Frost, who had apparently decided that he would pay me an impromptu visit.

"Hey, Pitch! Did you hear that that movie studio might consider making a sequel…hey!" Jack let out a rather undignified squeak as nightmare sand came out of nowhere to wrap around his limbs tightly, immobilizing him.

I stepped languidly out of the shadows and approached the pale teen, tilting my head up to contemplate my captive as I spoke in a bored tone, "I don't recall ever telling you that I welcomed your company. We've had this discussion before." I thought that Jack's nauseating cheerfulness needed to be dealt with immediately, and it needed to be replaced with fear. I grinned wickedly as a fiendishly delightful solution came to mind, "I believe I will just have to reiterate our past conversations in a way that you'll understand and get the message this time."

I could tell that Jack was confused as I brought him into a dark cavern past the one that held the globe. In this cavern, I had brought in a large widescreen TV. Seeing that Jack was still mystified, I settled him down in a chair in front of the TV, making sure that the nightmare sand held him in a tight grip. Satisfied, I stepped over to a cupboard, and brought out a stack of five Blu-ray DVDs. I felt my lip curl again, and turned to face Jack once more, holding up the movies. The look of utter horror was quite a wonderful sight to behold as Jack realized just what I held in my hands, and just what I was going to put him through.

"You wouldn't…" Jack breathed, looking utterly floored.

I could tell that Jack was trying to look me in the eyes, as if he couldn't quite believe that I would actually be capable of doing this to anyone. I was beside myself with unrestrained glee as I set the stack of movies down to one side. I opened the first case, popping the disc into the Blu-ray player, and locked eyes momentarily with Jack, "Why wouldn't I? All of my other attempts of getting you to listen to me have failed. You have brought this upon yourself for not taking my warnings seriously, and you will suffer the consequences." I turned on the television set, and toyed with the control, "Therefore, I've decided that your punishment for not listening will involve subjecting you to a surround sound, high definition marathon of a teen romance story gone bad."

Jack turned his head to look away from the screen, but the nightmare sand twisted his head so that he was forced to take in what appeared on the screen. Previews, it was just previews for now. Jack managed to say a few words, since he wasn't sure he would be capable of speech once the movie started, "Please, Pitch, don't do this…." Jack was so distressed that it hadn't even occurred to him to close his eyes.

I flashed a smirk devoid of any sympathy from where I stood. I stepped away from the TV and started up the movie with a click of a button. I settled back in a nearby chair, and stuck in ear plugs so that I was not forced to listen to the dialogue. I didn't need to hear Jack screaming or pleading to be able to sense his slowing growing fear. I smiled in anticipation as I waited patiently for my own form of entertainment to begin.

X-x-x

A little over four hours later, I was treated to the sweet sound of Jack begging like he had never begged before. His mind was already unraveling from being forced to watch every movie of the Twilight series, with no breaks in between but for the changing of discs. Despite the high cost of the Blu-ray player and the discs, it was turning out to be well worth the money.

"Please, Pitch, stop this already. I can't take much more of this. I can't…" Jack sagged in the chair within his nightmare sand bonds, as trying to break free had proved to be a useless gesture.

I had temporarily removed my ear plugs at the end of the second movie to hear Jack's pleads, and I smiled darkly at the winter spirit's words, "Talk all you want Frost, but I don't think my message has quite gotten through to you yet." I picked up the next Blu-ray movie, and took out the disc.

Jack renewed his pleas upon seeing the movement, "No, you've made your point really, really clear. Let me go already! This isn't fair. It's cheating!"

I pointedly ignored Frost as I waved the disc at him, a devilish smirk planted firmly on my lips, "I am the bad guy. Of course I'm cheating and using low blow ways to get what I want. I'm using these movies to remind you that I don't take kindly to intrusions upon my home. This will be the kind of thing I will do to you the next time you choose to come here should the message not be firmly implanted in your mind by the time we get to the end of the last movie." I put the disc into the player, making a flourish of pushing the play button on the control. I only replaced my ear plugs after hearing the sound of Jack holding back a strangled sob of despair for being forced to see more.

The resulting screams and pleads from Jack by the time the fourth movie was playing was quite satisfying to hear, and I even removed my earplugs on occasion during the fifth and last movie of the series, to better hear and bask in Jack's fear.

By the end of the fifth movie, I found myself to be happier in that moment than I had been in such a long time, as Jack's overwhelming fear was quite a wonder to behold. I released Jack from the nightmare sand, and watched with vindictive pleasure as he dropped limply out of the chair and to the ground. I glanced down at the motionless Jack, and leered darkly as I detected a few whimpers, and assumed that the Guardian of fun was relieved that his torment had finally come to an end.

I wondered out of curiosity if any other source in the whole world, besides me, could draw forth such a reaction of pure and utter terror.

X-x-x

I love to write parodies, so what better way to write one than to have it involve characters I like a lot? As to the 1st POV used, I'm curious if I've gotten the hang of it yet, as I've found I do enjoy it, since you get more of the characters' thoughts by writing this way.

And I don't know if the Twilight movies are really that bad, but seeing as I only got through the first one with a lot of cringing, maybe it would be to me (I did read the books when they first came out, and decided it just wasn't my cup of tea). If you happen to like that series, fine. I just wanted to use something as a torture device to bring this quirky fic to an end.