"You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy, to save you from your old ways."
-The Killers, When We Were Young.
When Sam first meets her he thinks her name suits her, right down to her ruby red lip gloss. She's fiery, she's beautiful and she's so... so alive. If only he had known then what he knows then maybe he would have just walked away.
But it's too late now. He can't let her go not after everything that's happen.
So when she finds him once again wasted out of his mind and praying to the porcelain god in the men's room of some random bar he doesn't fight her when she takes him back to his motel room. As she's adjusting his arm around her neck she tells him to buck up, and he tells her to fuck off. It goes like that for another minute before they reach the room and he passes out.
After a week, when he wakes up he realizes it wasn't a dream, she's really back, he bitterly wishes it had of been Dean instead.
"Sam," Ruby says as she parts her lips in an experimental way, she's still learning how to talk in her new meat suit and he's distracted by the movement.
"What?" He asks studying her mouth still.
"I said do you want something to eat? It looks like you haven't eaten real food in a few days…" Ruby scrunches up her nose in disgust at the moldy pizza lying in the half open box.
The new meat suit has this weird way of speaking, almost with a lisp, that's kind of addictive to watch. This Ruby was nothing like the old Ruby, having known her former blonde cocoon and having experienced the insults it could effortlessly hurl his way Sam didn't understand her sudden change in demeanor but he didn't have the energy to question it too much either.
He wondered if he is finally seeing the real Ruby, or just some side effect of her possessing a girl who had manners.
"No, I'm good." He looks away from her and closes his eyes.
It's like she knows he wishes Dean was back instead of her because she does all these little things to look after him like Dean would have. But she's can't replace Dean and they both know it.
Ruby slightly whimpers disagreeing with him, so he opens one eye and glares at her, daring her to voice her concerns.
She doesn't. Instead she picks up a book he had been reading the day before about 'Divine Miracles' and thumbs through it.
He watches her for a moment, licking her finger she turns the page quickly and he doubts she could have really read that entire page so quickly, he closes his eye once more and sinks further back into the motel bed.
"So what's your trick witch?" He says eyes still closed, he doesn't need to watch her face to know when she's lying anymore.
"Trick?" She echoes looking up from the ancient text.
Sam opens his eyes briefly to send her a 'don't-bother-bullshitting-me' look, "I'm not an expert having never been there myself but I doubt you can just talk your way out of hell...Again,"
If that if it was possible she would have been out a lot sooner, with her cunning tongue Ruby could make a saint a sinner in a heartbeat.
She looks at him for a second and bites her lip, holding her cards close to her chest.
"That's where Lilith sent you, right?" He asks confused.
"I can't get Dean out," Ruby spits the words out quickly and her mouth stumbles on them a little, "I'm sorry Sammy. I already tried."
"Oh," Sam mumbles, he hasn't heard that name for a few weeks now and it throws him off.
"I didn't," He's really spinning now and all the memories of the last horrible month come floating back to him, "I didn't even think about that."
All the times he's tried to bring back Dean and all the times it didn't work. Torturing himself with his guilt and sorrow, drowning himself in alcohol and the occasional demon ass kicking.
Ruby nods but doesn't buy it.
"I know a guy," Ruby shrugs looking back down at the book.
Sam sits up in the bed, "You know a guy?"
"Yeah," Ruby smirks, "I- know- a -guy," she says very slowly as if Sam is a three year old and an image of her old blonde meat suit flashes through his head. He misses it.
Sam narrows his eyes, the burning furry inside of him flares and he stands up getting closer to her spot on the green stained couch.
"What did you do Ruby?!" He picks up the book and launches it across the room.
"Sam!" She screeches not so much scared but certainly surprise by his sudden mood change, "Have you lost it? What are you doing?"
He shakes his head and his hands tremble, something is wrong inside him, 'Not again' he thinks as he lurches forward grabbing onto Ruby's shoulders as he falls.
"What's wrong? Sam?" Ruby questions as he leans his weight on her upper body pushing her legs against the couch. She tries to stay balanced but suddenly the room starts spinning, a thick black smoke swirl encircles her head and she can't stand up any longer.
"Oh god. Ruby," Sam's voice is whispering in her ear and the tenderness is strange, but kind of comforting. Her eyelids flutter and she takes in the room, everything looks as if it should, except for the couch which must have been overturned when she fainted on top of it.
"What the frak?" She mutters and Sam raises his eyebrows playfully but the atmosphere quickly changes when he runs his hand along her cheek. Little sparks shoot up her spine and she feels out of control of the body she's taken over.
"Are you okay? I didn't mean it. I don't know what happened…You started vomiting like black shit. It was fucked up." Sam helps her sit up but she is woozy and has to hold on tightly to his forearms making a blush rise to her cheeks. She's telling the brunette's body to get over the little crush it has on the younger Winchester but it refuses to listen.
"You were mad at me," She states but before he can object she waves him off and continues, "Its okay… Sam, have you done that to a demon before?"
Sam looks down ashamed, "This girl I met in a bar, she tried to hit on me, but I knew what she was straight away. So I… let her take me back to her room and I... I tried to find out where Lilith was. I tried to torture it out of her but I got carried away," He looks up into her Ruby's eyes and she wonders if he finds any comfort there, "I was angry about Dean."
He looks away and mumbles, "I think I killed her with my mind."
Ruby nods taking the information in. It's already begun. He's starting to evolve. First the flashes then the telepathy and now the ability to exorcise demons, there's no telling where his power ends.
She looks at the boy king with something akin to pride but also with some reservation. She knows it won't be long now; soon she'll have to do what she was asked to.
"What?" He moves back from her and gives her an apprehensive frown.
Ruby pulls him up with her and grabs the impala keys off the bedside table surely they wouldn't know if she helped him, just a little, just so he knew how to defend himself, "We got work to do Winchester."
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"So you never told me," Sam says as he drops down on the bed dangerously close to her.
She's been back for two months already and the time has flown, the training is intense for both of them and they haven't had much time to stop and rest like this.
"I didn't make a deal with the devil to get out okay?" She huffs, throwing her hands up in annoyance.
She gingerly lifts herself from the bed, her ribs are still healing after the last battle they did with the local demons, "just trust me will you!"
Sam grabs into her wrist and pulls her towards him.
"I trust you," He whispers huskily into her neck before guiding his lips to her own.
It's bad, it's so bad.
She knows, god she knows.
It's stupid and it's illogical but it makes all the sense in the world when Sam Winchester is running his hands down her body.
She feels alive when they touch, so damn alive and it feels good to feel something other than pain and heartache every once and while.
When Sam's asleep she thinks about the deal she made, thinks about what it's going to cost her to do what has to be done.
And now, now it's all getting to be too much. Maybe she could have followed through with it before, before she'd gotten too entwined in Sam, but not now. How could she do it after all the things he'd said to her, all the things he promised her?
Ruby slips Sam's strong arm off her hip and tries to slide out of the bed without waking him. It creaks a little when she's walking towards the door but thankful doesn't wake him.
Watching the lights from the local town flicker on and off in the darkness Ruby takes a big breathe, she lets it out slowly and rests her head against the railing.
"Rough night?"
His voice scares the shit out of her. She didn't even hear him come up from behind her.
"Something like that," She mumbles giving the stranger a half smile but not turning to face him.
Normally she wouldn't care how she looked but remembering she was only wearing Sam's boxers and a black singlet top Ruby suddenly felt really out of place and slightly embarrassed standing next to the suit wearing stranger.
She snuck a look in his direction and couldn't help but think he was kind of cute, really cute actually. He was staring out at the lights as she had just been; his blue eyes seemed haunted somehow.
"My names Castiel," He turned to face her and caught her staring, "sorry that was rude of me, just walking up next a young lady and not introducing myself," He's smile nearly knocked the wind out of the girl's body but Ruby fought to keep the knees from falling out under her.
"Ruby," She smiled back, intrigued.
Normally she would have given a fake name to some random dude trying to hit on her but something about this guy was… different.
He didn't feel like a sleaze looking for an easy score.
"I know your name," He reached out and grabbed the railing pulling and pushing himself backwards and forwards ever so lightly.
"You do huh?" Ruby was now on game; she squared her shoulders and tightened her jaw.
Something was about to go down. She should have known better than to think this chance meeting may have been coincidental. She looked back towards the motel room nervously; hoping who ever this guy was he didn't know about Sam Winchester asleep and defenseless behind the door.
"Relax."
Ruby's gaze snapped back to the stranger, she was surprised to find him studying her face genuinely intrigued.
"I'm not here to hurt him," He says looking directly into her eyes and something inside her starts to believe him, even if the rest is screaming for her not to, "Or to hurt you for that matter."
He adds and turns back towards the skyline.
After deciding he was telling the truth Ruby relaxes a little and copies his actions, placing her hands on the railing and swinging herself back and forth, "Then what do you want?"
"I want to talk to you about your deal."
They would have looked like two little kids moving back and forth on the railings in a rhythm of their own.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Ruby raises her head defiantly refusing to give him an inch.
"I think you do. I think you know exactly what I mean Ruby," he says her name like he knows her and that kind of pisses her off.
"I've got to get back, my boyfriend will be looking for me," She gives him a fake smile and attempt to side step him but he's to close and he catches her around the waist.
"The hunter and the demon? Now that's an oxymoron isn't it?" He asks amusedly and she suddenly realizes this guy knows a lot more about her than he should.
"Who are you?" She spits and detangles herself from him as if he's touch burnt her bare skin.
"I'm someone that's got a message for you," Castiel leans towards her and his face becomes sober, "Don't think about backing out of this; if you don't do it... you'll eventually be sent back. Did you honestly think we wouldn't know you've been helping him? Teaching him. It'll only make it harder on you in the end. "
"I know!" Ruby huffs and rolls her eyes, "If I don't kill Sam Winchester before he becomes the full blown anti-Christ the big guy upstairs will have my ass on a platter! I fucking get it," Ruby fights back tears, refusing to cry in front of this Castiel.
"And if you do it," Castiel replies something sparkling within his cerulean orbs, "You might be deserving of forgiveness."
"Fuck your forgiveness." She bites back and pulls herself up on the railing so she's leaning over it.
He chuckles and Ruby glares at him, why does this guy have to be so… so likable.
"I'm just saying," He shrugs, "There's something in it for you too."
Ruby frowns lightly, "What if that's not enough?"
"Heaven is not enough for you? Careful you're starting to sound like an old friend of mine... You might have heard of him? Got too big for his boots and threw a coup against us a while back," Castiel chides playfully and Ruby wonders why he's being so friendly towards her, the last one of his kind that plucked her from hell and offered her this deal in the first place wasn't so hot on demons.
"You know how that turned out for him." Castiel finishes with a wink and Ruby rolls her eyes again this time with a smile.
"I mean," She clears her throat, "I mean what if I can't do it, what if nothing is worth killing him… Can't you get someone else to do it? Please." Ruby begs and hates the sound of her meatsuits pathetic voice.
Castiel frowns, "There is something… something I've been working on that might be an option…It's very difficult much harder than…" He trails off looking at his hands, lost in his own thoughts.
"A plan B?" Ruby asks hopefully.
"Yes," Castiel says smiling, "A plan B."
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More than a month later, when she opens the door to their motel it takes everything inside Ruby not to scream OMFG.
Dean's alive, standing next to Bobby, checking out her underwear clad legs.
Oh Fuck.
'Play dumb' she thinks to herself and hopes Sam's quick enough to catch on. When he is she's relieved but kind of strangely disappointed. He doesn't want Dean to know about her, about them, she doesn't blame Sam but like way to hurt a girls fucking feelings.
But whatever, it's not like she's a real girl anyway.
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Ruby kicks the dirt up every time the swing comes back down; she has nowhere to go now that Dean's back and it scares her. She's become too reliant upon Sam Winchester over the last few months and now she's playing in the park by herself like a little loser kid with no friends' 'way to show him your independent' she thinks bitterly.
"May I?" She doesn't look up but still jumps a little bit when she hears his voice, it's so familiar now and she's only heard it twice.
"Go ahead."
Castiel sits on the swing besides her and his coat rumples up around him. He's not exactly dressed for the playground she thinks to herself slightly amused.
She must have been smiling on the outside though because when she looks up he's smiling back at her warmly.
"So Plan B worked?" Ruby asks taking a big swing back.
Castiel simply nods.
Ruby suddenly stops swinging her static heart drops, "Are you sending me back?"
A wind sweeps through the park and it sends chills up her spine.
"No, you are allowed to stay on this realm. As long as you don't mention the deal you had to Sam or to Dean… and at least act a little bit frightened when they mention us. Demons and angels," He motions in her direction and then in his own, "we are mortal enemies after all."
Ruby lets out a thankful sigh, "Whatever you say miracle man."
Castiel smiles even bigger at her and she wonders what he sees when he looks at her.
The ugly, disgusting demon core Dean got a glimpse of before he went to hell or the soft pink lips, and doe brown eyes of her soul Sam stares at so deeply sometimes.
After a moment silent swinging, both of them lost in their own thoughts, Ruby turned to Castiel slowly,
"Hang on what's the catch?" Her voice was now laced with suspicion.
"Must there always be a condition?" Castiel mused grabbing her swing and pulling it forward to match the stride of his own.
"Always is with you people," Ruby said resentfully
"Have a little faith Ruby," He sighed closing his eyes briefly as they sung backwards.
It felt like they were free falling.
"Who are you talking to?" A dark haired boy, about seventeen, made his way towards the swings staring at Ruby as if she had lost her mind.
Ruby looked beside her, Castiel was gone but the swing was still moving in the same rhythm as she had been.
"An angel," She shrugs closing her eyes and pushing off as hard as she can, free falling backwards, the rush made her feel so alive.
"Okay crazy." The boy scoffed and walked away glancing back every now and then to see the pretty brunette with her eyes closed swinging backwards and forwards, smiling.
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