The Swing at the End of the World
The faint buzz of mosquitoes droned in the air as the sweltering midday heat tried to smother the two British travellers. All around them, the locals argued, flirted, laughed, until the market was thick with a scent of life that was almost as vibrant as the spices and fabrics and colours surrounding it.
Phil smiled, squinting against the sunlight. Of all the places in the world, he couldn't imagine a better one to spend his last day in.
He leaned back in the wheelchair, taking a sip of the sugarcane drink he was cradling. He didn't really eat or drink much anymore- cancer was kind of a bitch like that- but damn, things like this made him miss it. Made him miss everything. No. No, don't get upset. You've always known exactly when this was going to happen. It'll break Dan's heart to see you crumble, especially now, when you're about to go.
As if reading his thoughts, Dan reached down and planted a kiss on the top of his husband's head. "How long, darling?"
Phil glanced at the watch, just to humour Dan- if he could pretend that he wasn't literally counting down the seconds, then he would sure as hell play along. "Five hours. We've got time." That was a lie. Time was the only thing they'd run out of. He thought he'd been holding it together pretty well, but Dan seemed to hear the break in his voice, and parked the wheelchair a little out of the way, getting down on one knee to look into the older man's eyes. God, those eyes. Staring into them, he could almost forget the rattle in his breath, blue tint to his fingertips and the seconds slipping through them. Looking into those eyes, he knew he could be anybody, anything, but all they made him want to do was be himself, utterly and eternally.
If this was the best place to spend his last day, then Daniel Lester-Howell was by far the best person to spend it with.
"Dan, sweetheart?" Phil wound their hands together, trying to ignore the fragile shake in his own."
"Yeah? What do you need?" Concern etched deep lines into Dan's forehead. At least that would be over soon. The silver lining.
"Dan, I just wanted… I, I just have to tell you that I'm kind of crazy about you. I really love you. Okay? You and your stupid face, and your stupid hair, and your laugh, and-" whoa, Phil. Breathe. "I don't feel like I've said it enough, like I could ever say it enough, and now we're out of time, and I wanted you to know." Phil bit his lip. "I think I'm okay now."
Dan laughed, that breathless, breathtaking laugh, and kissed him full on the mouth- not a tentative hospital kiss either, but the real kind, the hot-blooded kind. "Oh God, Phil. If we're doing confessions. I'm crazy about you too, you know. I always have been, and god knows I always will be. If I didn't, do you really think I'd have dragged myself all the way to Ecuador? And you don't need to say it, because I know. I know that you're mine, Lion. And to me, that is the greatest honour." He kissed Phil again, on the forehead this time, and straightened up. "Okay. Let's do this. Ready for the last adventure, Lion?"
"Always, Bear." Phil smiled, and for a second, nothing else in the world mattered to him but Dan, not the cancer, or the watch, or the brilliant sun on the blazing sky. "Always."
Phil could remember the day he'd been diagnosed in perfect Technicolor and surround sound. He'd held onto Dan's hand tightly all the time, neither of them saying a word the whole journey home. As soon as they'd walked in their front door, he'd fallen onto the floor, a hand clamped over his mouth to stop himself screaming. Because of the watches, it wasn't a question of whether or not he survived- it was a question of the pain he'd have to go through, the sharp realisation that he was done, that he he'd have to leave everything behind. Deep down, they'd both known that this was it, they'd always known that Phil's time was almost half the length of Dan's, but being given the facts was like the twist of a knife in an already jagged wound.
Dan had held onto him, tears running down his face, heart shattering into a billion tiny fragments, but after a while, a calm sort of acceptance fell over them. Maybe they'd just had no more tears left to cry. Phil remembered sitting under a blanket with Dan, the only spot of warmth in a field of cold, as they talked about what was going to happen.
"I don't want to die in a hospital. To be honest, I don't even want to die in your arms. I love you, but it's cliched, and I don't want to go weakly and helplessly. Also, your face will always be the last thing I'd see anyway." Dan had coughed gruffly at that point, but let Phil continue. "No, I want to die doing something I've never done, something I never could do. I want to die doing something extraordinary."
"Hold on," Dan said, pulling his laptop towards them. His voice was the barest of whispers, the pain bubbling close to the surface. "I think I have something." A few clicks later, and he turned the screen round so Phil could see. The title read 'The swing at the end of the world,' in large, black letters. The more the article went on, the more fascinated Phil became.
Dan looked at him with those dark eyes. "It's perfect. We'd time it down to the last second, you'd swing over the cliff, and when you got to the highest point you'd-" his voice hitched. "You'd let go. You'll die in midair, sweetheart. You're going to die flying."
Phil threw his arms around his husband, burying his head in the other man's shoulder. "Thank you. Oh god, Dan. Thank you."
Dan had smiled, glad that at last here he could give a little comfort. "Anything for you, Phil."
So here they were, their shadows dark against the Ecuador sun, staring at the edge of the world. It had taken a lot to get here- fan donations, favours from friends, every last penny they'd saved up- but the work had paid off. Phil had got his final wish. He was going to fly.
"Are you sure you want to do this, darling?" Dan rested a hand on Phil's shoulder, fingers shaking. He nodded by way of reply, so Dan wheeled him to the swing hanging from the treehouse, and with a small amount of effort, placed Phil on the tiny plank of wood that hung suspended between two metal chains. Dan covered his mouth, a strangled sob ripping from his chest. "Lion, darling, I'm scared. I don't want you to go."
Phil started to well up, the wetness clouding his vision, as he tried to speak around the shallow breaths he was taking. "I don't want to go either, Bear. But I have to. Just remember that I love you, alright? One last thing, for me. I love you. I love you, and in all my time with you, Dan Lester-Howell, I wouldn't have changed a moment of it, not for the whole world."
Dan smiled, a delicate, tearful smile that still somehow managed to reach his eyes. "I love you too, Phillip Lester-Howell. It's been an honour and a privilege." He moved to the back of the swing. "Ready?"
Phil glanced at his watch. "Ready."
"Be brave, my love," Dan whispered, and pushed Phil into the air. The sky rushed up to meet him, and Phil laughed, adrenaline rushing through his damaged body. It was better than he ever could have imagined. He swung, each time higher and higher, as the clock counted down the final few seconds.
The landscape sprawled below him, impossibly far away, and for a second, Phil was frightened, until Dan appeared before him, the voice as clear as day despite the howling wind. "Be brave, my love."
Phil smiled, letting his fingers slacken on the chains. He took a deep breath, and comforted by Dan's voice, he let go.
And for a brief, beautiful moment, he was flying.
Sorry if this hurt your feels :D The swing in Ecuador does actually exist, with no safety measures at all, and can be used by the public- although unless you're very brave I wouldn't recommend a ride.
As always, reviews are the food of love xxx Thank you very much for reading!