Heya folks, new demented ramblings of Sunny the Utterly Magnificent. I now have a amazing stupendous fantastical BETA!! Darth Atkid the Frankly Quite Awesome!! Yay!
Disclaimer: I own Maximum Ride. -runs off with Fang plushie-
"Alright guys, this is a surgical strike mission."
They all stare at me like I'm nuts.
I sigh and explain "In, then out as fast as possible."
The Flock nods obediently.
The ultimate evil is ahead.
We need to be as prepared as possible.
Distraction is not an option.
Our lives, or the lives of our souls, are at stake.
"Oh come on, Max, it's not that bad!" Angel pipes up.
"Sweetie, will you please stay out of my head? Besides, it is too that bad."
"Max, it's just the mall! What could go wrong?"
"You never know." I prophesy darkly. 'Cause, you know when someone says 'what could go wrong,' something will.
I'm convinced that this would all end in tears, but we need new clothes pretty badly; poor Fang's shirt was ripped to shreds.
I sigh as we land in an alley.
I sigh as we walk up to the looming gates ahead.
I sigh as we go in.
I'm interrupted mid-sigh by Nudge.
She pulls me aside.
"Max, can I talk to you for a second?"
I eye her warily.
She better not be asking where babies come from.
They come from the stork of course, Nudge! Where do you think we got the wings?
Ha-di-ha. I amuse myself sometimes.
"Um, Max?"
"Alright, Nudge. Fang, you're in charge for a second."
A mute nod is his only reply.
I roll my eyes at him.
Can't he even try to speak in full sentences?
"Max!"
Jeez, you would think that this was a matter of life and death.
She tuggs me away from the flock, with me keeping one eye out for danger.
Nudge looks very small as she wrings her hands.
"What's up, Nudge?" I ask gently.
"I think…I might…I mean…I need…"
By this point, I'm kinda worried.
Nothing stops Nudge from talking.
Ever.
Nothing was bad enough.
Except some of the nastier experiments.
"Spit it out, Nudge!" I say aggrievedly as she keeps stuttering.
"Max, I think I need…"
"What do you need?"
"A bra!" She shouted suddenly. "I need a bra!"
Innocent bystanders looked at her oddly.
The flock was grinning.
I looked at her in horror.
"You need a bra?" I whisper-shout.
"Yes!" She whisper-shouts back.
I look at her.
Oh.
She does.
Why didn't I notice that?
'Perhaps you don't spend enough time looking at peoples chests.' The voice insinuated snidely. 'Except Fang's, of course.'
I lean against the wall for a second.
'Voice?'
'Yes Maximum?
'Shut up.'
The voice is silent.
Ha.
Fang himself comes over, looking concerned in that emotionless way he has.
"Voice?" He says, raising an eyebrow.
"Yup."
Two could play at that one word game!
"What?"
"It says I need to spend more time looking at peoples chests!"
Oops.
So much for the one word game.
Fang looks…odd, like he's trying to stifle laughter.
"Well, I'm right here." He says, gesturing to his chest with a cocky smirk.
Before I can come up with a scathing enough come back, he's walked off.
I fume silently.
"Max!" Nudge says, tugging at my sleeve.
"Sorry Nudge. Um, let's go..."
"Can the boys not come with us?" Nudge begs.
Oh yeah.
Wake up, Max!
Enemies could attack any minute, I was in charge of keeping five other mutants, a talking dog and a stuffed bear alive, I was in a freaking mall which I hate with all the hate not directed at Itex, (there's enough to go around, folks. No need to fight for Max's hate!) and on top of all that, I have to buy a bra for my little mutant sister.
Life really sucks sometimes.
Where does one get a bra, anyway?
"Let's go there, Max!" Angel says, coming over.
I look where Angel is pointing.
Oh.
My.
God.
The temple of sexism.
Shrine of consumerism.
The ideal standard of beauty held by America.
Victoria's Secret.
Well, crap.
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