Act 1, Scene 9
[Elphaba & Galinda barge into their suite.]
Galinda: Your very first party ever?!
Elphaba: Do funerals count?
Galinda: It was your very first party!
[Elphaba smirks and goes to her bed.]
Galinda: Oh I know! (Goes to Elphaba's bed) Let's tell each other something we've never told anyone... I'll go first: Fiyero and I are going to be married (squeals).
Elphaba: He's asked you already?
Galinda: Oh he doesn't know yet... Now, you tell me a secret.
Elphaba: Like what?
Galinda: Like... (looks at Elphaba's pillow) Why do you always sleep with this funny, little, green bottle under your pillow? (Galinda grabs the bottle from under the pillow while she's talking.)
Elphaba: (Trying to get the bottle) Give that back.
Galinda: C'mon, tell me!
Elphaba: (Trying to get the bottle and angry) Give it back!
Galinda: Tell me tell me!
Elphaba: (Yelling as she takes the bottle) Give it back!
[Silence]
Elphaba: It was my mother's! That's all...
[Silence.]
Galinda: (Pretending to be sad) It's not fair. I told you a really good one.
Elphaba: My father hates me.
Galinda: Gasps.
Elphaba: That's not the secret. It's my fault...
Galinda: What is?
Elphaba: ... that my sister is the way she is. . Pause. You see, when my mother was carrying Nessa, my father was worried that the new baby might come out...
Both: Green.
Elphaba: So he made my mother chew milk flowers, day and night. But that made Nessa come too soon, with her little legs all tangled. And my mother never woke up. None of which ever would have happened if not for me.
Galinda: But that was the milkflowers fault, not yours. That may be your secret, Elphaba, but that doesn't make it true. (Looks at clock and changes the subject) Oh look, it's tomorrow! Elphie... do you mind if I call you Elphie?
Elphaba: Well, it's a little perky.
Galinda: And you can call me... Galinda. So... Elphie... now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!
Elphaba: You really don't have to do that.
Galinda: (Spoken) I know, that's what makes me so nice!
(sung) Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be:
Popular!
You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal, a
Sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular -
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll bee
Instead of dreary who-you-were: are:
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-
Ler: lar:
La la la la
We're gonna make
You popular
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They were popular! Please -
It's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!
Elphaba: (Spoken) This is never going to work!
Galinda: Oh Elphie, you mustn't think that way anymore! Your whole life is going to change... and all because of me. Okay, stand... I will turn your frock into a beautiful ball gown! Stand up... (She picks up her wand and waves it)Ball gown! (Nothing happens, so she repeats) Ball gown! (Still nothing happens. She taps her wand on the bed)Is this thing on?
Elphaba: Do you want me to try?
Galinda: No, I've got it! (She throws the wand down) Oh, just wear the frock... it's pretty! Now, I'll show you how to toss your hair: (demonstrates) Toss toss. (laughs). Now you try.
Elphaba: (Half-heartily) Toss toss. (Awkward laugh)
Galinda: We'll practice. Now, for the finishing touch. (Takes flower out of her hair, puts it into Elphaba's.) Pink goes good with green! Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you, you're beautiful. (Hands her a hand mirror)
[Elphaba looks at her reflection. Part of the stage lights up in a way to suggest memory or flash-back. Young Elphaba is sitting in a chair with her pregnant mom behind her.]
Melena: Look Fabella you're beautiful.
Young Elphaba: I am?
Melena: Yes. You may look different, but you're beautiful.
Young Elphaba: How?
Melena: You're full of inner beauty, and it shines through. And when your sibling gets here, you can teach them to be the same.
Young Elphaba: Ok.
Melena: (Hugging Young Elphaba) I love you so much.
Young Elphaba: I love you too Mommie.
[Elphaba tears up as the light fades.]
Elphaba: I… I have to go. (Puts the hand mirror away and runs off)
Galinda: (Yelling after her) You're Welcome! (She admires herself in the mirror.)
(Sung) And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity
La la la la
You'll be popular -
Just not as quite as popular
As me!