A/N: I wrote this story agesss ago and I thought I'd upload it onto here now that everyone seems to have become more understanding and less grumpy lol.
It's just a little random oneshot… well maybe it's not that little.
Hope you like it XD
xo
In Dreams…
Miley had written dozens of songs… hundreds or thousands maybe. They were all hidden away in notebooks in boxes beneath her bed that no one would ever look at until her selective reasoning decided that they were good enough for the consumption of more of her soul as she chose to put them to music. She thought of songs as tiny pieces of who she was written onto paper. They had her deepest darkest secrets hidden within them and they had every thought of love and hate that she'd ever experienced.
How many times had his names been written on those ivory pages in ink? There were so many times that she could no longer count…
She let out a sob as she looked at the manly handsome face on the computer screen. She'd been warned that this would happen, that once she'd been given a shot with him that she'd be ruined for all other guys. She would be hopeless. She wouldn't know what else to do and she would be spoiled for all other men. She would not be able to think of any other man in the same way ever again. They would all be compared to him. They would all follow in his shadow. Every man would be compared to Justin… every man would be remembered with his gaze and his smile. Her life would never be the same again.
She, however, hadn't thought that it would have been like this. She thought it would be in different circumstances to this. She thought her life would be so unchanged because she was madly in love with him. She needed him and she was desperate for him and the only thing that hadn't occurred to her was that he hadn't felt the same way. She was sure that he was going to leave her for something better… and she was right. She just hadn't banked on the monster within him that he had shown her when her world had turned upside down. She hadn't expected him to be so cruel and unkind.
She had never expected such… evil.
His hand had forced its way over her skin, across the rough of her jeans and beneath the hem of her t-shirt. She hadn't anticipated the rough and harsh grip of his fingers as he pulled, scratched and buried his heavy hands into her. His lips were brash and hard against her skin, it felt as thought they were going to burn away her skin and reached the raw flesh beneath it. She was scared when his arms tightened around her, making her unable to move, that these were the last moves that she would ever take… that the breaths that she gasped into her lungs the few seconds his lips moved away from hers and his arms loosened from around her ribs, that those breaths would be the last ones she ever took on earth. She was terrified, that the last words she would speak would be the begging pleading utterances of her lips for him to stop and leave her alone. She was petrified that the last thing she would ever see, that she would ever stare back into, were his dark menacing eyes that warned her to be quiet.
But she'd fought back… yes… she'd fought back… but at a price…
She was glad that she was now able to drive and that she was great friends with everyone at the set. She had never had a place to run away to before, and since that moment a week ago, all she'd been doing was jumping in her car and driving here once everyone was gone. She'd spent all day in this airy cold building and she didn't care most of the time… it was so quiet… so peaceful and she knew that she could trust Carl the security guy to protect her from the one person she couldn't bear to see ever again.
She was in Miley's bed… not her own bed… Miley Stewart's bed from the show…
It wasn't even a real bed, it was just a few piece of wood, a headboard and an extremely thin mattress covered in blankets, quilts and pillows. The room wasn't even a room. It was just a three-sided box with six cameras pointing in its direction at every angle for one hundred and eighty degrees. It was a great symbol of her life… nothing was ever real and there was always one side missing from everything.
But it was the most comfortable and homely place she'd found in a long time. She could come here and no one would bother her. There were cameras, but they didn't want her picture, there were huge lights that could illuminate an entire city if they wanted to, but they weren't shining on her tonight. It was empty, void of animation and no one came to ask her questions about how she was or how she was feeling. No one cared about her in this large, fake bedroom and that was exactly how she wanted it. She didn't want their pity, she didn't want their shame or their perverse pride. She wanted to be alone with someone who could possibly try to understand her rather than make her feel better. She wanted people to stop telling her lies… she wanted someone to tell her that she'd been an idiot for even thinking about trusting him. She wanted to scream at someone for not stopping her going out with him. She wanted to holler, scream…yell at the top of her lungs to her silly parents for not realising it before she did and for not jumping in and kicking him out sooner.
And it was all because of a stupid love song, a silly little sentiment that Miley had always known could mean so much. She had written songs about people. She wrote love songs about people. She knew that a love song was never just a love song. It was always more. There was always inspiration and there was always depth to a love song. There were a million memories or fantasies running underneath its surface. There were second thoughts and feelings that would always be remembered. Every time a singer sung their love song, they could always see a face staring back at them. She knew that she always did… the same old face that it had been for the past three years. It just wouldn't go away.
But Justin couldn't ignore the face he saw, and he resented the one that looked back at him when he opened his eyes. He hated that she wasn't the one he wanted to see. He hated that she was the one he was forced to be with just to achieve his pathetic goals and pointless ideas. He had failed miserably in everything he had done, and it had forced him to take malicious refuge in the fifteen year-old girl that had fluttered her eyes and found him mesmerising. He had taken advantage of the fact that she was just a child still, unsure of the world and believing of every word of someone's manners that she heard. Where were his morals? Where were the beliefs he had once reassured her of? They were all gone… just like he was…
Miley had slowly come to terms with his actions and had overcome it admirably in the short week that they had been apart. She had come to a steady ground where the only details of the situation that bothered her were the fact that everyone was treating her like a porcelain doll and that Taylor, one of her best friends, was currently being pursued by the biggest evil egotistical maniac that Miley had ever met. It jarred everyone bone in her body that Taylor, one of the most innocent and wonderful people she'd met in this pathetic, fickle business was being pursued and falling for one of the hugest fame-hungry animals she had ever seen. He didn't care for her. He was using her just like he had yelled he would at Miley as he pulled on her hair and dragged her to the floor.
She jumped as she heard a bang radiate and echo around the room. She sat up in the makeshift bed and looked around manically, pulling her clothes around her and protecting her body from anymore injury that she may be caused. He was still out there… he was still walking around like he owned the place. He could have followed her anywhere… just to make sure he ruined her more than he had done already.
"Hello?" She croaked out. Her voice broke with the simple syllable and she looked around trying to find some source of light to illuminate the room that she had once wanted bathed in the sheer black darkness with only the shadows to keep her company. She was afraid of the shadows when they came making a noise. She was no longer alone and she couldn't help but be petrified and afraid.
A cough and a sigh sounded back and bounced of the walls in an echo. She reached around. She searched for something that could hurt a person… something that could cause enough pain for her to run away and scream for help if she needed it. She felt the cold of the lamp next to fictional Miley's bed and it was like a firework had gone off in her head.
The lamp… the lamp works…
She clicked the switch and the room was soon glowing in the low light of the three-sided bedroom. She gasped as she saw the dark hair and the unnaturally inquisitive dark brown eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the bloody face and the stains of passion filled red liquid that laced his usually handsome and tailored suits. She felt vomit rise in her throat as she saw the tears in his eyes… the hate and love that over-whelmed him all at once.
"What are you doing here?" She forced herself to speak. She had to speak. There was no other way that this would make sense.
He shook his head and looked down at his red-soaked hands. He rolled his thumbs against his fingertips and stared in amazement at what he had done. He looked up at her hopelessly and placed his palms out flat to her begging for some kind of solace. Miley shook her head, moving slowly as she could from the bed and across the cold studio floor across to him. She looked down at his hands.
"What did you do?"
He shook his head and tried not to sob. He was in shock… he was over-whelmed. There were over a hundred emotions running through him at once and he was hardly controlling them. He was gonna break down and become the boy inside of him if he didn't start getting a grip. He had never done anything like that before and he couldn't believe that he had actually done it. Apparently all he needed was a little coaxing and he could be capable of anything… love, hate, anger… desire…
"I…" he shook his head as she stared at him. What did he say? How did he explain this to her? He could see her black eye that he'd obviously given her and it seemed to prove reason enough to the blood on his hands. He wanted to hold her… he wanted her to make him feel better… he wanted her to forgive him for his pathetic ignorance of her for the past goodness knew how long. He needed her arms and he needed the touch of her soft skin. He needed her protection… and he needed the reassurance that she needed him…
"I fought Justin…"
Miley stepped back shocked and shook her head at him.
"He provoked me…" he shook his head and looked down at his hands. He sighed and tried yet again to remove the red liquid from his hands onto the white expanse of shirt at the front of his body, "I didn't want him hurting anyone again… I wanted to show him what it felt like to hurt someone… like he hurt you…"
"How do you know he hurt me?"
"Mandy…" he said quickly, "Mandy tells me everything that you do… everything that happens…" he forced a breathless smile, "She understands us better than we like to think…."
Miley shook her head, "So why did you hurt him?"
"He broke your heart…" a tear rolled down his cheek and he shook it away, "He made you feel pain…"
Miley let out a laugh and anger bubbled within her, "Like you did?"
Nick's eyes dropped to the floor, and what little view of skin that was left on his cheeks past the blood that caked them, turned crimson red to match. He shrugged his shoulder and rocked slowly on one of his feet, "I guess I deserved that…"
"Why are you here?" her voice rose an octave and she slapped her arms at her sides in defeat, "Why are you coming here after all this time and telling me that you're fighting battles… my battles… that I DIDN'T ask you to fight…"
Nick shook his head and looked up at her, cutting through her words with his,
"Because I still love you…"
Miley stopped and looked at him. Her brow creased and she shook her head with angry eyes. She stared at him and she took in every little detail, from his bleeding nose to his swollen eyes. She noted then sincerity in his them and the way that he was nervous in the words he'd spoken. She saw the relief and she heard the sigh that escaped him. His voice had betrayed him and his heart was proud. He was finally showing some compassion and he was finally letting his heart rule over him. He was becoming that boy he had always dreamt of being, that smart, compassionate, beautiful loving boy that his mother always told him he should be. He was becoming her prince charming… the prince charming she deserved not the one he was made out to be. She deserved someone that cared about her, someone that would always be on her side. She deserved someone that would save and love her unconditionally.
She puffed out her chest and struggled to process his words. She wanted to believe them, and part of her did… but this was Nick… this was the boy that a few months ago had brutally broken her heart, leaving it raw for her to put it back together. He had treated her as an idiot. Barely a word that had come from his lips had been directed at her. As far as she had known, he had forgotten her… she had been wiped from his earth. He couldn't just turn up one day at her secret place and tell her that he was fighting her battles because he loved her. She was too scared to let him back in after all this time, and after the week she'd had. It had gone from pure happiness, to pure hatred and fear… to complete confusion and desperation. She didn't know what to do… she was still lost.
She looked at him again and saw the cut above his eyebrow and the ever-increasing purple of the bruise around his left eye. She saw the blood and she wondered if it was his or if it was Justin's. She saw the way his hands flexed from open to close nervously as he looked at her. She watched his body as it shook in front of her, waiting for her to say something. Her heart melted as she watched a tear role slowly across his cheek, clearing a path to his beautiful soft skin through the thick red blood.
"We should get you clean…" she whispered to him and he paused for a moment trying not to seem too disappointed. He nodded and she lifted her chin pointedly, "There's a shower in my dressing room… it only has cold water… but I guess its okay…"
She watched him as he stood nervously in her dressing room as she handed him a towel and told him how to work the shower. She watched him as he eyed her gently, making his interest and concern for her known by the cloudiness in his eyes. Each curve of her body, he had missed. Each angle and each shape her body took was crying out to be re-imprinted back into the recesses of his memory. She blushed uncomfortably as his breath seemed to break each time she stepped closer to him and each time her hand brushed his in passing. She missed that look in his eyes… the one that he got when he looked in her eyes and really saw who she was. She missed the way he could look into her eyes and figure instantly what was wrong… the way that he could stare into her deep blue eyes and know that she wanted him.
At the same moment, they clashed together. Their lips collided and they grabbed to clutch at each other with aching desperate hands. They forgot the blood, and they forgot the pain and they concentrated hard on what each other felt like to them.
Miley could feel the warmth of his skin and how it welcomed her calmly. She felt the press of two beautiful lips that she had missed so much it had hurt her; they moved with hers like nothing could stop them… like they never would stop. She felt the soft skin that had been pressed to hers so many times in the past it was surreal how used to it she was. She felt the breath that laced her skin harshly in desperation, need and want. She could feel the same shape of his body, the body that had once been skinny and child-like was now lean and manly. Each muscle of his arms and shoulders could be felt by her fingertips. Her fingers rose to touch a face she'd seen in her dreams every night since the last time they'd said a civil goodbye and she could feel every bump and every bruise of each blow to his face. It made her insides ache to know that he was in pain. She could almost feel it.
Nick pulled away and gasped as she began to pull away his jacket from his shoulders and tug it down his arms, "what are you doing?"
She looked away from him out of breath and looked down at the backs of his still bleeding wounded hands and shook her head at him, pulling herself closer to him.
"What I always do…" she breathed kissing him gently, "Nursing your wounds and putting you back together…"
He looked at her and he couldn't help but want to cry. She was holding him… she was putting him back together… and it was all because of him being an idiot for her. They were a team and they didn't like to admit it. They were always going to care and they were always going to do stuff like this for each other because it was the only way that they knew how. Something would happen to the other one and they would react… the other would say something and they would react. They were made of actions and reactions… and here they were reacting to Nick's profession of love and his need to protect Miley from harm.
Her hand reached behind her and she turned on the shower. He tried not to yelp in shock but controlled himself as she slowly helped him to undo the buttons of his shirt. Her hands grazed down his chest as she tried not to hurt him anymore than he was already, her eyes averted from his as her concentration grew at her task. She was going to make him better. He kicked off his shoes and she smiled up at him quickly in thanks. He reached down, yanking his socks from his feet as his breathing became shallower. Soon he was stood in his boxer shorts in front of her as she ran her hands over the bruises that decorated his chest and stomach. She looked up at him and he shook his head. He smiled to her as he saw the shock and disappointment in her eyes at the purple marks that ruined his unflawed beauty. He shrugged his shoulders and took hold of her hands.
"You're worth it…" he whispered stepping closer and taking hold of her hand.
She smiled to him and pulled away. He looked at her questioningly and reached out to try and keep a hold of her hand. She didn't let him; she simply stepped back and pushed down her pyjama bottoms to reveal her plain white boxer short underwear. His eyes dropped from looking at her face in shock, to stare mesmerized at the rest of her as she lifted her arms above her head to remove her t-shirt and reveal her bare chest. She smiled and moved forward to kiss him slowly. He stumbled at first and she smiled into him, wrapping her bare arms around his aching chest and being careful with him. He was delicate and she liked it. She'd always been the delicate female... Now she had the chance to look after him, to nurse him… to kiss everything better.
They stepped backwards into the shower and they both moaned at the shocking spray of the freezing cold water. Miley gasped as it shocked her system. She panted into him, the water doing something to her that she had never expected before. It made her want him more and more. It made her more desperate to kiss him, to hold him, to feel him.
The water hit his face and she reached behind him to take the wash cloth that had been left there. She reached up to his face, feeling his arms tighten around her and bring her in closer as he moved from her lips, to her neck and down to her shoulders. He kissed her and let his tongue taste her. She didn't mind. She didn't care. He could do whatever he wanted to her and she didn't care… she would embrace it. She would accept it… she would love it.
He gasped for breath and pulled away to look at her in shock. The water seemed to be getting colder and they both found it strange how that could have happened. If anything they should have been getting used to it… they should have accustomed to the feeling of its icy coldness and sharp droplets that felt like knives. Instead, they were breathing deeper and they were shaking more than ever before. They were not used to it. Every touch felt like the first…
Nick sighed as she began to wipe the blood from his face and his hands gently. Maybe it had nothing to do with the water…
Her brushes with the cloth were soft as she combined wiping away the blood and kissing him gently on the lips. His touches of her skin were calm and unrushed. Nick leant against the cold tiled wall of the shower and pulled her against him as they let the cold water rain down on them. Her hands were steady as soon she was just stroking his face with her fingertips and kissing his lips. Her simple gestures made his heart swell and he had never been more in love with her. He had never felt wanted by her more… he had never needed her more... and in that moment he knew that this was it… nothing was going to break them again.
"I feel like I should say something…" he whispered to her, as she wrapped them both in blankets from her dressing room, "I feel like I should have more of an explanation for myself than this."
She laid him onto her couch and began to place band aids over his wounds silently just as she always did as he looked up at her. She was in nothing but a warm blanket but she'd never looked more beautiful. She smiled as she lifted his hand to hers to see his finger was bleeding still. She took a band aid, and just like the old times, wrapped it around his finger. She planted a kiss on it quickly in habit and held onto it silently. She looked down at him and shook her head.
"I don't think there's anything that needs to be said…" she whispered worming her fingers into his, "I think we've shown each other enough how we feel…"
She moved quickly and lay down with him, burying her head into the crook of his neck and taking in the deep smell of his freshness. He sighed and stroked her hair from her eyes, "I want to say something…"
She kissed the space between his collar bones, "Tell me you love me… just as much as I love you…" He shifted and she looked up at him with the most sincerity she could posses, "I love you, Nick…"
He smiled, "I love you too Miley…"
She buried her head against him again and closed her eyes. She was ready for sleep, and she was sure that he was too. She could feel him stroking the back of her neck with his fingertips as their breathing began to steady.
"Why are we here in your dressing room, Miley?" he whispered after a few moments, "Why are we in this random place…"
She smiled, "Because lately I've needed to be places I feel safe… and I feel safe here… here in this room with you…"
He let out a laugh and she felt his grip tighten on her. She smiled and kissed him once more on the chest before she felt her resolve begin to loosen and her eyes begin to relax. Her head began to empty and all she could think of was him. She could smell his dark curly hair and see his rich chocolate brown eyes. She could taste his skin and feel its softness. She could hear his voice slowly singing her to sleep, telling her he loved her and wishing her sweet dreams of far off lands.
But when she opened her eyes, she was back in her bed, with her black bed linen suffocating her. Her hair was dry and her mouth tasted stale. She was dressed in her short pyjamas and she was so warm she felt sick. She turned to her side and expected to be alone and safe… instead, she was filled with her worst fears and worries. The hair that she saw was not curly brown, but straight and plain old brown. She saw no eyes, just the face she had woken up to for the past month right beside her. She didn't feel safe, she didn't feel secure. She didn't even feel loved. She felt lost… and she felt used… and her whole universe seemed out of place for one simple reason.
Yet again, for what seemed the millionth time, she had been tricked by her dreams.
She had not been saved by Nick.
He had not fought for her.
He did not care for her.
He did not need her…
He did not love her….
While her whole heart, her whole being and her whole entire universe revolved around him.
She would go to the ends of the universe to make him love her, to make him want her… but he didn't… so for now… she was taking second best.
She was taking what she was given.
She was sticking with what she had.
And it was hell.
A/N: I know… you hate me… I tricked you… It was all a dream…
XD I'll write something fun and happy soon… as soon as I no longer have school work to do
xo