Guilt

By: Kary G.

Disclaimer: I do not own Flashpoint.

A/N: I decided not to put the flashback in Italics because I think you guys were going to be confused with the song that I used. I don't own the song as you all know this song is "Dancing In Between" By Amy Jo Johnson. Congratulations Amy Jo for your baby girl!

The moon shone up in the sky and the cool wind dance entering her room. Jules tossed in her sleep trying to concentrate in closing her eyes but those images of the mall kept coming back to haunt her.

**Flashback**

Jules ran following the scared girl. The sound of her running echoed in the metal structure. She looked for Tasha and stopped looking at the scare girl determined to jump. What was she going to do to save her? Was Tasha going to trust her? Was she going to jump? Those questions invaded Jules head just as Sgt. Gregory Parker told her that he was going to be there if she needed help.

"You have to intervention?" Sgt. Gregoty Parker questioned her.

"Copy," Was al that Jules replied.

"Ok, you are talking to a victim of an attempted rape, she was brutalize and retaliate going to the cops, she's got no home support, she was holding on, she was doing everything she could to keep a life together, I'm here if you need me," Parker announced to her.

Jules carefully approached the girl. She stood there and decided it was time to get this over with. "Tasha. My name is Jules" Jules called her name and at the same time swallowed trying to calm herself down afraid that the girl would do something stupid.

"Tasha, you don't have to talk to me. But, I'd really like it if you would. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help." Jules moved closer to Tasha it looked like the girl was beginning to trust her. "Tasha, I'm going to step closer so you can hear me better. I'm stepping closer," Jules said out loud so the girl could have an idea where she was and also trying not to scare her.

Tasha sniffed and looked down. Jules was closer to the scared girl. "So, thanks for not jumping" Tasha looked at Jules and the female of the Strategic Response Unit thank her but also looked at Tasha and so she asked once again. "Are you thinking you might?" At this Tasha nodded her head "yes". "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. You know I've never seen somebody who's ready to die put up such an awesome fight to stay alive." Tasha tried to say something but sobs were the only sound out of her mouth.

"Ok, Jules. She trusts you now," Jules thought. "Tasha. Can you tell me what happen today with those girls?"

"Why don't you ask them?" Tasha told Julie with her voice threatening to break. Jules walked and hooked some equipment to a tube"They gave you quite a haircut, didn't they? Julie moved to where Tasha was carefully and in less than 2 minutes she was next to Tasha.

Tasha gasped and looked at Jules "I thought they were going to kill me," the poor girl said between sobs.

"I know. I know, you were really scared. Weren't you?"

Tasha sobbed once again and looked at the petite girl next to her. "They think I lie to the cops. About Brianna's boyfriend, about what he did to me," she cried.

"But, you didn't. Did you? You didn't," Jules commented. Tasha shook her head.

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter," and again the girl broke down. Jules cut her off and told her that it does matter.

"It matters, It does matter," Julie repeated to Tasha over and over again. Tasha shook her head. "It was so brave what you did. You told the truth about what happened to you, you stood up to that guy. You fought back, same with those girls. Come on Tasha stay with me, stay with me,"

Tasha kept looking down and with a shaky voice se told Jules. "I killed a girl today," Hearing these Parker told Julie that the girl was in surgery and that she was fine. Sam stood there but turned around when another two of his team members approached.

"No, you didn't, you did not killed anyone. The doctors are fixing her right now, she's going to be ok," Tasha sobbed and shook her head not believing what Jules was telling her. "Yeah, come on Tasha. Please, would you give me your hand? Let's climb over,"

"I can't, I can't. I'm dead anyways," Tasha sobbed. She just couldn't. What if Jules was lying? If that girl died, was she going straight to jail?

"Tasha, I know that it feels like that, I know but you're not," Jules tried to calm the girl down.

"Yes." Tasha cried. "Yes, that's how it is. I can't go to school, I can't go to work, I can't go home for what?! My mom? I got nobody. You don't understand. You..don't know how it is!"

"Actually, Tasha. Look at me, look at me. I DO understand, actually I do. I do and that's why I'm standing right here, ok? And I want you to take my hand and I want you to help you over and you are going to get through this! It might ne impossible but you have the rest of your life, ok? And it's gonna be tough. But, it also going to be really, really amazing," smiling at Tasha. "You can get through this, you can get through anything. I promise. Would you give me your hand? Give me your hand, ok? Come on Tasha. Come one," Jules extended her hand so Tasha could take her. Tasha moved slowly to where Jules was but slipped. Jules screamed as well as Tasha. Jules hugged her and both girls were going down. If it wasn't for that thing that Jules hooked to the tube and also if it wasn't for Jules friends that were there both girls were be dead by now.

"We're ok," Jules told her friends. "Hang on," Jules told Tasha.

"Jules's ok. We are going to pull her up," one of Jules friend told Parker.

The three men started to pull Julie and Tasha up. Everything was ok until Jules felt Tasha slipped through her waist.

"Tasha, hang on. I know you can" Jules encourage the teenage girl.

"I don't think I can," Jules cut her off.

"Yes. You can and you will. Hurry up!" she yelled at Sam letting them know that Tasha was loosing strength.

"I can't…Jules..help me…Jules! HELP ME!" Tasha yelled loosing strength. Jules try to catch her by her hood sweater but it was too late Tasha hit the pavement and die in the moment.

"TASHA, NO!!" she yelled as loud as her lungs allowed her. The tears felt down her cheeks. It was her fault; she just knew it was her fault. Why?! Why was god doing this to her? Just when the girl was ready to face the obstacles of life. WHY?!

Sam and the other team members pull her up. Her eyes focused in the floor. Sam put a hand in her shoulder but she moved his hand away. "Jules. It was not your fault," Sam told her. Jules didn't say a word she just ran downstairs to see her.

Got so scared it made me cry.
Life took me for a ride.
Got so scared it made me laugh.
Tickled my pride.

She just couldn't believe that Tasha was dead. She ran but stopped looking at a body covered by a white blanket. She slowly walked and moved the blanket and saw her face. Jules took Tasha's head carefully in her hands and buried her face crying.

Now I'm dancing in-between.
Cause I got nowhere to hide.
Romancing the seams of my battered up insides.

Sergeant Parker kneeled down next to Jules and massaged her back. "Jules, take a few days off. If you need to talk here I am," the team watched as she nodded her head and walked to her car and headed home without looking back. Finally, Jules arrived home. She changed clothes and went straight to bed trying desperately to hold her own tears back.

Wonderful is the falling of a broken dream.

Written on the cover of a New York magazine.
Clap my hands Jo baby I'll stomp my feet.
Cause there is always another First man to beat.

**End of Flashback**

And now Jules was in bed tossing around. She wanted to scream, to cry, to die…

"Oh, god. Why Tasha?! Why?!" she looked up crying and yelling at god waiting for an answer..no, not waiting. She was demanding for an answer. She stood up from bed and walked downstairs. She tried to calm herself down and took a glass pouring some water in it. Rage ran through her veins. She threw the glass against the wall making the glass shattered and fall to the floor. She then leaned on the refrigerator and let her body slid to the floor and she cried and yelled like she never cried and yelled before.

****

It was 9:00 p.m. not too late. Sam's drove to Jules house worried about her. He needed to let her now it was not her fault. He was going to make her understand it was not her fault.

Sam parked his vehicle and looked to see the kitchen light on. He got out of his car and walked to the entrance of Jules house. He knocked but nobody answer. His hand moved to the knob of the door and notice it was open. He walked inside determined to call her but stopped hearing sobs coming from the kitchen. He moved to the kitchen and saw the glass shattered on the floor and he saw her too sniffing.

"Jules, are you hurt?" Sam ran and kneeled down looking at her hands for any sign of blood but didn't found any.

"Why? She didn't deserve to die. Sam, this is my fault. She was ready to face the world once again and I killed her!" she covered her face with her hands.

"Jules. You didn't kill her. It was an accident," Jules looked at him and yell.

"YES. I KILLED HER!" Sam was surprised to see her like this. So afraid and vulnerable like a child looking for her mother.

"Look at me Jules. It was an accident," Sam told her over and over again. Jules felt the tears welled up in her eyes. She tried not to cry. She couldn't cry in front of a man for god's sakes. She thought that if she cried in front of Sam, she was going to show weakness and she didn't want that. "Sweetie, it's ok to cry," When Jules heard those words out of her mouth she broke down. Immediately, Sam put his arms around her massaging her back and talking softly and slowly into her ear.

Dancing in-between because I got nowhere hide.
Romancing the seams of my battered up insides.
Dancing in-between
Dancing in-between

"Sam…don't leave me alone…just..ho…hold m," Jules said between sobs. Sam tightening his arms around her and stayed with her until she fell asleep in his arms.

"I won't leave you. I will always be here to hold you….and to love you," He whispered to her kissing her head.

The End.