old, i'm uploading it because why not? the writing is really bad because this had been one of my first tries at brittany but i've always liked the idea behind this plot so whatever. enjoy anyway.
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all your actin', your thin disguise
all your perfectly delivered lies
She knew Santana like the back of her hand. They met during cheerio practice, when they were both still on the bottom of the pyramid. Brittany had always been kind of reckless and Santana looked out for her, made sure she didn't make a complete mess out of everything. Santana had become part of her, you know? It was like Brittany was coloring and Santana made sure she didn't color outside of the lines. Literally, sometimes.
Brittany knew Santana kind of wanted to be Quinn's friend after she became the person on top of the pyramid. A senior cheerleader, Cindy (she remembers because Cindy changed the color of the bow in her hair three times a day) had gotten suspended for having some sort of plant in her locker.
Brittany didn't get it at first, but during practice— after they both finished running twenty suicides— Santana had tightened her ponytail, and whispered slightly out of breath, that she had seen "shady Quinn Fabray hanging around her locker during lunch", the same day Cindy got suspended.
Brittany had thought that was kind of mean but she had seen the look in Santana's eyes. The admiration. (Because Quinn was on top of that pyramid, because Quinn chose to be friends with them, because Quinn knew exactly how to make everyone adore her.)
But she hadn't missed the glimpse of anger in Santana's eyes. (Because Quinn was on top of that pyramid, because Quinn knew exactly how to make everyone adore her, because Santana didn't have that quality, because Santana wasn't the one on top but was forced to be one of Quinn Fabray's minions.)
Even Santana adored Quinn though, Brittany knew that much. Everyone adored Quinn Fabray.
/
Quinn was perfect. Brittany had always thought that, everyone had always thought that.
She had this certain smile, paired with the pretty green eyes that lit up like a christmas tree and the blonde locks on her head that always fell perfectly, that made everyone want to drop to their knees and do whatever she wanted.
She had this way about her that made it so you could never hate her— you could dislike her a little for stealing your boyfriend or stealing away the attention from you at your birthday party— but no one hated Quinn Fabray.
Not even Santana, and she hated a lot of people. (Not Brittany, she knew that because she and Santana were soulmates. They didn't need anyone else, they'd look out for each other.)
Even before they were friends with Quinn, Brittany would catch Santana stare at the other blonde when she walked by, her hips swaying and her ponytail straight like always. She would catch Santana talking a little bit too much about her, admiring her a bit more than she did Brittany.
She knew Santana had tried playing it off like she did hate Quinn, because "why would I like a perfect little white girl who's probably going to end up married to a millionaire, with five kids and an alcohol addiction?" and Brittany didn't say anything, but she knew exactly why she would like Quinn, she was everything Santana ever wanted to be, but couldn't.
She knew Santana hated her a little— because she had everything she ever wanted— but loved her because of that, too. She just wouldn't admit it. She was popular, she had good grades, a loving family, a lot of friends, she was the head cheerleader, she had the perfect boyfriend— and all Santana had was frustration (and Brittany a little too).
She knew Santana was actually just jealous of Quinn, of how she was and what she had and of what she did and how she did it. She didn't hate her though, not even when they became friends. She envied her, still, but Santana Lopez could never hate Quinn Fabray. Just like Brittany could never not be friends with the both of them.
She never said anything because well, she was supposed to be the clueless one here, wasn't she?
/
They fight a lot. Quinn and Santana. Not with Brittany, because Brittany doesn't like violence or loud screaming, but with each other.
It starts out over small things, like one borrowing the other's nail polish and not giving it back or one always disapproving the other's clothes or something else stupid and then it always escalates and Brittany is left to clean up the messes.
She always wipes away Quinn's tears and calms Santana down and then they all watch a movie or go shopping and Brittany knows they didn't mean the mean things they said before.
(Her mother always told her when you fight, that shows passion. And passion means you love each other, right?)
/
One day, during sophomore year she's out with Santana and Quinn to a carnival, because she really wanted to go (she loves stuffed animals and cotton candy and the happy music) and they run into Finn.
Quinn laughs and smiles and kisses Finn and Brittany notices Santana's eyes linger on Quinn's hand on Finn's bicep and the scowl on her face after Brittany pulls her away to the ferris wheel to give Quinn and Finn some time alone.
After Santana dropped off Quinn around nine thirty (her curfew was ten). she stops on a dirt road a few blocks away from Brittany's house, and kisses her.
It feels nice and warm and funny and then suddenly she pulls away and drives to Brittany's house without saying another word.
The entire thing is ignored for at least another two weeks, before Santana kisses her again.
It's familiar. Santana doesn't hesitate this time, she doesn't linger, just lustful, frustrated kisses. And Brittany likes it, she does, but sometimes she thinks Santana is using her lady kisses to replace someone elses kisses she really wants.
After that it becomes a regular thing. They don't tell anyone, and God forbid they talk about it.
They just do it and Brittany lets her, because she loves Santana and she isn't afraid to show her that.
Santana has always watched out for her, you know, made sure she didn't do anything too stupid, supported her in everything, even played with Lord Tubbington now and then even though she hated cats.
And Brittany really did love her, but she couldn't live her entire life like this. Sneaking around because of their parents and friends, secret kisses after cheerios practice when everyone's gone and so much pretending. It's hard for her to keep up with which lie Santana told now.
Brittany always tells the truth, because it's easier to remember.
So she dates Artie and Quinn dates Finn and Puck and Sam and Santana doesn't even seem to try. She steals Sam from Quinn and Brittany doesn't really know what her motives are. They still make-out whenever they're alone, but Santana convinces her it's not cheating. Deep down she knows it isn't true, but she knows that if she says anything, Santana would break. She always seems so strong, except when it comes to her and Quinn.
Santana talks to her at their lockers, saying something about why she's such a bitch and about indigo girls concerts and it's just all so confusing. Because wasn't she just a replacement for the one she really wanted?
She tells her she wants to be with her, that she loves her, that she doesn't want to be with Sam or Finn or any other guys, that she just wants her, Brittany.
Brittany knows it isn't true so she blows her off. It's a mistake because she breaks, and Brittany knew she would.
After that she dates Karofsky and she doesn't know what's worse. The fact that she's covering up the fact she's gay or that she's doing it with Karofsky. He made Kurt leave school. He's mean and a bully and she doesn't like him at all.
She makes Santana wear a Lebanese shirt but she doesn't and then she accidentally uses the wrong words on the internet on her show and Santana gets mad and it's all just so much to handle.
It gets better though and Santana gets nominated for Prom Queen while Brittany avoids talking about the whole Karofsky cover up deal.
Santana almost wins, but she doesn't and Brittany tells her she's awesome, that it's just some stupid crown and she somehow stops crying - because honestly, Quinn didn't win either.
In New York everything between Quinn and Santana seems to have resolved itself, the underlying tension, the constant glaring and screaming, and they all have a good cry and they cut Quinn's hair. Well, Santana does and she just watches. Quinn doesn't trust her with scissors.
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Quinn walks in on them kissing and Santana rushes out moments after, and they don't kiss for four weeks.
Santana even yells a little bit more than normal, but Brittany knows it's just the anger of someone knowing, of Quinn out of all people knowing. Santana had Quinn on such a high pedestal and Brittany knew that was bound to end up badly.
During summer, Santana whispers sweet nothings to her and smiles at her like she's an angel and holds her hand during movies.
When they get back to school Quinn has gone crazy (with pink hair and new skank friends and leather clothes and a tattoo) and tries everything to get her to go back to normal. She even pulls the 'we're the unholy trinity' card on her. Brittany helps her, too, because she misses the three of them. Santana isn't nearly as happy as she was when Quinn was with them.
As a distraction, Santana tries to help her win senior class president, and she does.
Santana even talks with her about everything, about if they're dating or not, and she tells her they are, she even cries. And for once, Brittany thinks that maybe she is Santana's first choice.
She overhears people whispering about Finn outing Santana, and at first she doesn't really know what it means but then she sees Santana crying and slapping Finn and Quinn's shocked face and Santana sobbing even more when she notices that and then it's she realizes that she owes Santana.
She owes this to her. She knows Santana loves Quinn, but Quinn doesn't love her. She knows she isn't the smartest crayon in the toolbox, or something, but she knows this much.
She's the easy choice, the one that will love her back no matter what, the one that might, in time, be able to replace the great Quinn Fabray in Santana's black hole.
She could do this much. She could love Santana for as long as she would let her, and she would ignore the fact she wasn't the first choice, but the safest one.
She could do that much, because Santana was always there for her. She braided her hair because she couldn't herself (so many strays of hair, so confusing), she helped upload her fondue for two videos onto YouTube (she keeps forgetting where she saved the file), and she would even give up going to college for her, and although Santana loved Brittany like a friend (and maybe something more but not as much as Quinn) she would always be her best friend, she'd always look out for her.
And she wouldn't love Quinn as much in time, she wouldn't forget her, but she wouldn't dream about her anymore but she'd dream about Brittany, she knew that. Santana would learn to live with the fact Quinn wasn't gay, and she'd never be, she would learn to love Brittany like she loved her.
A lot of people called her dumb and stupid, but she knew she wasn't. Not really. Not when it came to Santana.
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they don't fool me
you've been lonely, too long
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